Restless
by SuperBlueGirl12
Summary: Santana Lopez has been scarred for life, by something she doesnt want to share and tries her hardest to conseal. What happens when she slips up and someone finds out...
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, just want to say thank you to all who have reviewed my stories, really appreciate it!**

**and here we have, you guessed it, another fic revolving around santana! what can i say, she's awesome. **

**tell me what you think! **

**(and i do really like the santana/quinn friendship, so that will probably be a major factor in alot of my stuff!)**

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><p><strong>Get Your Shit Together <strong>

It could have been worse. That was all Santana was thinking as she was in the elevator heading up to her room. The tall blonde next to her was tapping her nails on the railings, watching the floor numbers increase. Room assignments for nationals. Santana would have been thrilled if it was a different blonde glee clubber, but as it turned out, Mr Schu really wanted to test them on this trip. Two whole weeks in a room with the girl who sold her out to coach Sylvester at any opportunity she got. Two whole weeks with Quinn 'prom queen' Fabray. Still, at least it wasn't Berry. She could hardly imagine what two weeks of endless Barbra Streisand would do to her brain, at least Quinn had a rough grasp of good music. The elevator made that horrible 'ding' noise signalling that they had arrived at their floor. 'Unlucky for some.' Quinn mumbled, as they stepped out onto the thirteenth floor. Santana followed the blonde down the hall, both dragging their suitcases behind them, searching for room seven hundred and thirty. It was a big hotel. 'Why are all of our rooms so far apart?' Quinn asked as they walked down the hallway.

'The further away we are from Berry, the better.' Santana replied, scanning the rooms along the left side of the hall, her and Quinn being the only pair with a room above the tenth floor.

'You know, I think that's the only thing we can agree on.' Quinn actually smiled at her. 'Poor Brittany though, she got roomed with her.'

'Brit can handle her, Berry will be so confused by the end of this trip she wont know what the hell happened.' Santana informed her, returning the smile with more of an evil smirk.

'That's true. Brit is, odd, to say the least. Here we go.' Quinn stopped abruptly, turning to her right. And in big bold, gold letters was the number; seven hundred and thirty. She slipped her key into the slot and watched the red light above it switch to green, the door making a clicking noise and popping open. The blonde pushed on the door causing it to swing inwards, her suitcase and the Latina following in behind.

'So which bed do you want?' Quinn asked, setting her bags down on the floor in the middle of the room.

'Erm, I'll take the one by the balcony.' Santana said, hauling her bags onto it.

'Okay then, I'm taking a shower.' Quinn grabbed her toiletry bag and went for the en-suite.

'Don't be to long princess, we have to be downstairs in an hour.' She called after her; 'I want a shower too!' the door closed, but she knew Quinn had heard her. She sighed and slumped down on her bed, staring up to the ceiling.

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><p>She hoped it wasn't going to happen again, no she prayed it wasn't going to happen again. She had tried to pull some strings and get a room with Brit, she knew already, but not Quinn. Maybe last year was a fluke? It had been two years after all. Maybe she was over it? She pushed herself up from the bed and went out onto the balcony, the cool wind of the evening creeping up her spine. It was a night like this, she remembered, but quickly pushed the thought away. The city reminded her of it more, the police sirens and the never ending screeching of car tires no matter what time of night it was. She shivered, her long dark hair, released from it's usual tight pony tale, was flowing all around her shoulders. She closed her eyes. Letting the city wash over her. 'It's fine now, it's over.' She whispered, and then shot around upon hearing a noise behind her. 'Shit Q.' She clutched her chest.<p>

'What?' the blonde pleaded her innocence as she threw open the top of her suitcase, the loud bang of which had caught Santana off guard. 'Who are you talking to anyway?'

'Oh, no one.' Santana said quietly, Quinn giving her a suspicious look.

'Okay, whatever.' She replied. 'and we have to be down for dinner in like twenty minutes so you might want to hurry in the shower.'

'Damn it Q, what did I say!' She shouted, grabbing her things from her bag and then jogging into the shower, not realising how long she had been lost in her thoughts for.

She let the hot water run down her body. She had finished cleaning a while ago but she needed some time to collect herself. With one hand pressed on the shower wall, she lifted her head into the water. Then came the knocking on the door. 'Santana!' Quinn knocked again, 'come on.'

'Go without me Q, I'll meet you down there.' She called back through the water, running her hand through her hair.

'Whatever,' the blonde called back, and Santana heard the door to the room slam shut. The brunette went back to the water, letting it take her over. She ran her hands down to her stomach and then traced them around her left side and over her back. Still there, she thought, haven't faded. She twisted the taps to the shower, the water trickling slower and slower until it was only a drip. Exhaling, she stepped out of the shower and came face to face with herself in the mirror. 'Calm down Lopez, get your shit together.' She closed her eyes for the third time since she had arrived, and counted to ten. It always seemed to help control her, the counting. She would count to ten and everything would be alright. Her eyes opened, suddenly realising that it was actually quite cold now that she was out of the boiling water, and wrapped one of the towels around her. There was a moment of eerie silence, the kind that only happens in horror films just after the mandatory shower scene. She had that feeling of being watched, of being tormented by something that wasn't real. A chill coursed throughout her body as she whipped her head around, she could have sworn she heard something. 'You're being ridiculous.' She assured herself, and then put on a pair of shorts and a bra to go back out into the room. All of her clothes were still in her suitcase, and rushing into the bathroom as quickly as she did, she forgot to bring clean clothes in with her.

She unlocked the door and stepped out into the seemingly deserted hotel room, shaking the towel through her hair in a poor attempt at drying it, and then she let out a small scream. 'Jesus Christ!' she shouted, heart pounding in her chest as she stared at the blonde laughing at her. 'I though you went already?' Santana finally asked.

'Well I did, but forgot my phone so..' she was still giggling, and then she saw Santana, really saw her, and her face dropped. Santana suddenly realised what she was wearing, or to be more accurate, what she wasn't wearing, and quickly pulled the towel back around her body. 'Santana?' Quinn got up from the bed looking more and more confused. 'What…?' she was lost for words, looking down at the brunette because of a slight height difference as she walked closer to her. But as she reached out a hand to the Latina she swerved out of reaching distance. She grabbed some clothes and went back into the bathroom. A few moments later she was back out, fully clothed but her hair still dripping. 'Come on Q, we're late.' She smiled, walking out of the door with the blonde on her heels.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm Not Going To Spill My Guts To You **

Dinner was, awkward, at best for the two girls. They didn't speak on the way down, Santana walking straight over to Brittany and clasping onto her pinkie before Quinn could begin to question her. This left Quinn and her boyfriend Sam sitting together whilst Santana and Brittany occupied the completely opposite end of the large table, all of the other glee clubbers scattered in between. 'I'm going to have pizza, New York pizza is the best.' Brittany beamed, 'what are you having San?'

'Oh, erm..' Santana snapped out of her daze, 'nothing B, I'm not that hungry.' She smiled at the blonde.

'San?' Brittany said, and then it hit her, eyes widening.

'I'm fine Brit, don't worry about me okay.' Santana took her hand and squeezed it.

'You sure?' The dancer asked, and upon a nod from the Latina she joined in a conversation with Tina and Mercedes who were opposite them, gabbing about their competition at the end of next week. Santana saw Quinn staring at her, but instead of Quinn looking away when Santana noticed, she stared her down. For a moment Quinn thought she saw a flicker of emotion behind the brown eyes of McKinley high's biggest bitch, but then the Latina pulled away. Her eyes darting around to anything else except Quinn's gaze. Santana was dreading the two weeks ahead, partially because of all the damn questions she was going to be asked now, but mostly because she didn't know what would happen if the nightmares started again. If she couldn't escape.

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><p>'Night guys,' Quinn said cheerfully, as Rachel and Brittany got out on the ninth floor, leaving Santana and herself alone for the first time since, well you know. 'Santana.' Quinn started, but she was cut off by the Latina.<p>

'Not gonna happen Q.' She fixed her gaze ahead.

'What's not going to happen?' Quinn was puzzled.

'I'm not going to spill my guts to you, okay.'

'But Santana, what I saw..' She turned to the brunette, who once again cut her off.

'What you saw was old news. In the past. Which is where I want it to stay. Got it?' Quinn nodded, 'So no, I'm not going to talk about it.' Santana faced her as well now, staring into her eyes.

'Okay,' Quinn said gently, seeing that spark of pain in Santana's eyes once more. And then they both faced the front, waiting for the elevator doors to open. They were walking down the hall, their room being as far away from the elevator as possible, of course, when Quinn started again. 'But if you need to..'

'I got it Q, thanks.' Santana said without turning around, and there wasn't really enough sincerity in her voice for Quinn to believer her, but she left it again. Santana opened the door and headed straight into the bathroom. In all of the years Quinn had known the feisty Latina she had never seen her act like this, and she was worried. She decided that her bathroom visit could wait until morning, so she slipped on her pyjamas and crawled into her bed, waiting for Santana to emerge.

'Shit, shit, shit!' Santana whispered, restraining herself from actually hitting the sink by swiftly sitting down on the toilet seat. Quinn's not going to stop now, she thought, as the hot tears started to burn from her eyes, dripping onto the bathroom floor. She took in a deep breath and ran her fingers through her curly hair, that was the way it dried when she didn't straighten it, and then placed them back on her lap. Each breath she took was like a dagger, piercing her being as panic flooded over her. She could tell Quinn, couldn't she? Brit knows so maybe one more person knowing wouldn't hurt? And she would know not to tell anyone, right? Her thought's were playing tricks on her as she started to change into her own pyjamas, and she reluctantly snapped open the door heading out into the main room. 'Night Q.' She said gently, as she climbed under the covers facing away from the blonde.

'Night S.' She replied, almost sad, that Santana didn't want to talk to her. They were friends, on some level at least, so why couldn't Santana open up to her? She drifted off to the sound of her own worried thoughts hoping that the situation might be different in the morning.

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><p>A blood curdling scream woke her up, almost causing her to fall completely out of the bed. 'What the fu..' She began, but then she realised where the noise was coming from. 'Santana?' Quinn panicked, and ran over to the Latina's side. She was sweating and shaking, her hands turning white as she desperately clutched onto the sheets around her. 'Santana!' Quinn went to touch her, but this only seemed to cause her more distress.<p>

'No, no, no, no…' She rolled over and over, eventually throwing all of the covers onto the floor.

'Santana, please wake up!' Quinn spoke again, this time softer, as she saw tears falling down the brunettes face. She had never seen anyone cry whilst they were asleep before. 'San?' She saw that after a few minutes the smaller girl was calming down. 'Santana?' She said one last time, before the Latina shot upwards still shaking and frantically looked around the room.

'Q?' She whispered, her mouth dry and her voice sounding harsh in the quiet of the night.

'Yeah, it's okay.' Quinn smiled, moving on to the bed. Santana flinched away, causing a hurt look to appear on her friends face

'Just, give me a minute okay.' Santana pleaded, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

'Do you want to talk about it?' Quinn asked a few minutes later.

'No, I don't.' Santana stated, climbing out of the bed and moving towards the balcony doors. 'Sorry I woke you,' she smiled turning back to face the bewildered blonde. 'Go back to sleep Q.' And she pushed the sliding door over stepping out into the could night air.


	3. Chapter 3

**You Can Talk To Me**

Quinn woke up the next morning to the sound of her alarm clock, rolling over to a Latina-less bed beside her. 'Santana?' She managed to croak out, the time in the morning making it difficult for her to conjugate speech. The curtains were blowing back into the room, Quinn seeing that the sliding door was still open. She gingerly lifter herself out of bed and wiped the tiredness from her eyes as she made her way across the room. Stepping out into the cold, she noticed the flurry of brown hair being tussled in the wind. Santana was sitting in one of the chairs with her feet up on the railings. 'Have you been out here all night?' Quinn asked, pulling her arms around her body.

'Yeah.' Santana replied, as Quinn sat down in the chair next to her. She could see the bags under her friends eyes, and they were blood shot so she had been crying.

'You okay?' Quinn asked, looking down to the road below them. She always wondered why hotels in the middle of the cities needed balconies.

'No, I'm not.' Santana whispered, as she got up to leave. Quinn quickly grabbed her arm as she walked past her, the brunette looking down into her eyes.

'You can talk to me.'

'I know.' Quinn released her grip and let the smaller girl go. And watching her once again head for the bathroom, her heart broke. Not knowing what could have possible broken her friend so much.

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><p>The rest of the day was a blur. Quinn going through the motions as all she could think about was Santana. The amount of pain she had seen from one bad dream. No way it was a one off nightmare, and Quinn felt a sudden urge to help her, to be there for her. 'Okay that was a really good rehearsal guys.' Mr Schu was clapping, sending Quinn spiralling back to reality. She couldn't tell you which mind numbing ballad Finn and Rachel had been singing but she clapped along anyway. 'Now,' he looked at them seriously. 'You are free to enjoy the city, but, curfew is ten pm, no later or I'll be forced to suspend you. Everyone needs to meet in the lobby at ten for a head count okay.'<p>

'Got it Mr Schu,' Sam said, jumping up and turning to Quinn. 'Dinner and a movie?' He grinned at her with his big lips.

'Oh, I was actually going to hang out with the girls tonight.' Quinn said innocently, just hanging out with the girls.

'Sure, I mean we can go out tomorrow right?'

'Yeah, great.' Quinn replied, before heading over to Brittany and Santana. 'So, what do you girls have planned tonight?'

'None of your business tubbers.' Santana replied.

'Don't be mean San,' she turned to Quinn, 'we were just going to hang out here for a while and sit in the lounge. Want to come with?'

'Sure,' Quinn beamed, Santana shooting her a look that said back the hell off. The blonde ignored this and followed the dancer down to the lounge.

It was a nice hotel, the chairs and tables all matched and there were games and books in a cupboard in the lounge. Brittany had been ecstatic as she rummaged through the shelves, managing to find hungry hippos. Sure the game was directed at six year olds but it made Brittany happy so the girls sucked it up and played with her. Quinn didn't stop staring at her the whole time, Brittany accusing her of not trying as her purple hippo managed to eat all of Quinn's blue hippo food. 'I'm sorry B, I'm just not good at this game.' She lied, as Santana stood up.

'I'm gonna call it a night guys, tired you know.' She smiled down at them, kissing Brittany on the head and saying goodnight before heading to the elevators.

'Is she okay Brit?' Quinn thought she would take advantage of this opportunity to do some digging. If anyone knew what was up with Santana it had to be her.

'Yeah, why?' Brittany didn't look up as she reset the game.

'She had a nightmare last night.' Brittany stopped, game pieces falling from her hands. 'Brit?'

'I have to go.' She abruptly jumped up and headed for her room.

'Brit..' Quinn called after her, but she had already vanished round the corner.


	4. Chapter 4

**Can We Just Go To Sleep?**

Quinn took her time going back upstairs, thinking about how freaked out Brittany had been when she mentioned Santana's nightmare. She must know about it. As she was strolling back to her room she heard it again, Santana screaming. How has no one else heard it, or reported it for that matter? It literally sounded like she was being murdered. She broke into a run, frantically swiping her card through the door. She burst in and was met by the same sight as before, the Latina was thrashing around on the bed mumbling and crying. 'Santana!' Quinn called, running her hand over Santana's forehead. 'Santana?' She changed her tone as the smaller girl calmed down, but she was still sleeping. Her hand had been covered in a thin layer of cold sweat which she wiped away on the duvet, and then she had a thought. She gently peeled the Latina's shirt off of her stomach, attempting to see what she noticed the day before.

'If you wanted to see me naked Q, all you had to do was ask.' Santana swallowed, looking sideways at the blonde but making no effort to stop her.

'I just want to help you Santana.' She smiled, putting her shirt back into place.

'By doing a strip search?' Santana joked, getting up from the bed, swinging her legs over the edge. 'You really want to know Q?' She didn't look back at her.

'Yeah, I really do. I never knew you had nightmares S.' Quinn walked round to her own bed and sat on the edge facing the Latina.

'It's not all the time.' Santana clarified.

'How long do they go on for?'

'Few weeks, a month tops.' Santana started to play with the bed covers.

'Always around this time I take it?'

'Yeah.' Santana sighed.

'Why?' The blonde asked, Santana looking up at her. 'What started them?'

'Look Q..' she thought about her next words carefully. 'I only told three people willingly. My mum, my dad and Brittany.' She looked away from Quinn, 'It's not something I want to go around telling people.'

'Santana, you know I would never hurt you right?' Quinn's eyes looked genuine, but Santana had a hard time believing her.

'Yeah, like the time you ratted me out to coach after my summer surgery.'

'Come on S, cheerleading? I mean about things that matter. I would never betray your trust if it was something that bad.'

'Shit, I know.' Santana said, frustrated with herself, and Quinn moved next to her to hold her hand, the Latina once again moving slightly away.

'Why is it that every time I touch you, you flinch? Why wont you let me see your stomach? Why did Brittany freak the hell out when I mentioned your nightmare?' Brittany's name made Santana look up.

'You talked to B about me?' She said accusingly.

'I just wanted to see if you were okay, I thought B could help me to help you, that's all.' Quinn defended.

'Okay but please don't drag her into this anymore, she's seen enough of my nightmares.'

'Fine,' Quinn agreed, 'but if you don't want Brit to help you, you need to let me.' Santana knew she was right, she needed help. She needed someone to be there because she was broken. She needed someone to share her nightmares with.

'Okay.' She whispered.

'Okay?' Quinn couldn't help sounding shocked.

'Yeah, but not, not now. Can we just go to sleep?' Santana pleaded.

'Of course,' Quinn nodded, but as she went back to her own bed Santana caught her wrist.

'Stay with me, please?' Quinn nodded, sitting back down as Santana dragged her under the covers. Quinn was still fully dressed but didn't want to move to change, Santana needed her so she could deal with one night in jeans. She pulled the covers over them both as Santana hung onto her arm, trying to force herself back into dreamland.


	5. Chapter 5

**You're Making Me Feel Pathetic**

Quinn woke up the next morning with the sun beating down on her face. They must have forgotten to close the curtains last night. As she rolled over she noticed Santana, still in the bed beside her but her eyes were glued open and she was hot. Not like that, she was literally burning up. 'San, you okay?' She asked, stretching and rolling onto her side facing the Latina.

'I feel hot.' She said breathlessly, her mouth dry once more.

'Hang on.' Quinn said, making her way to the bathroom. She came back in moments later with a glass of water. 'Here, drink this.' She helped Santana sit up as she took a sip of water.

'Thanks Q.' She laid back down, closing her eyes.

'Did you sleep much?' Quinn sat on the edge of the bed next to her.

'No.' She admitted. 'I woke up like half an hour after we went to bed, and that was that.' She smiled up at the blonde, sympathy written all over her face. 'Don't look at me like that tubbers, you're making me feel pathetic.'

'It's not pathetic to admit that you need help Santana.'

'Yeah well, maybe it is for me.'

'Whatever, I'm going to get dressed and then tell Mr Schu and the guys that you wont be rehearsing today.' Quinn pushed herself up onto her feet.

'What? Come on I'll be fine.' Santana tried to move out from under the covers, and managed to put her feet on the ground. However, as soon as she pushed herself up she was met by a wave of dizziness and slammed back down onto the mattress. 'Woah, that felt weird.' She said, closing her eyes once more and lying backwards.

'Thanks for proving my point there S.' Quinn smirked smugly. 'So I will be back soon with food because you need to eat something.'

'Fine.' Santana croaked, watching the blonde walk to the bathroom.

'You're welcome.' She called over her shoulder, receiving a groan from the Latina. She would never live this down.

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><p>The morning went slow for Santana. She would try to sleep it off but every time she closed her eyes she had a flashback. She relived the nightmare she was desperately trying to forget, even though every time she lifted her shirt she had a painful reminder. Why did nationals have to be this time of the year? It was better the first time it happened. She was at home, only Brittany, who already knew, had to see her like this. Now Quinn knew something was up and once the glee guys got wind that something was wrong, they would all be digging too, great. She was looking up at the ceiling, as she had been for the past forty-five minutes, when there was a knock at the door. She slowly hauled herself up and made it to the peep hole. 'Brit,' she said opening to door, 'what are you doing here? You should be with the guys rehearsing.'<p>

'I wanted to see you, see if you were alright.' Brittany saw the state she was in and had her own flashbacks to the pervious year. Santana would start off with the nightmares and then it would make her sick, like physically sick. She had refused to eat and would lie awake all night without even trying to sleep.

'I'm okay B, I promise.' She smiled weakly, hanging on to the door in fear of her legs falling out from under her.

'Quinn told me about your nightmare. It's happening again isn't it.' She looked sad.

'Yeah, it is B, but I'm..'

'You're okay, I know.' Santana chuckled at how well the blonde knew her. 'But please text me if you need me. I'm only a few floors down.'

'I promise Brit, now go back down stairs and make those misfits actually look like they can dance.' Brittany laughed, pulling Santana into a tight hug before bouncing back down the hall.

'Hey Q!' She yelled cheerfully, passing her fellow blonde as she made her way to Santana, tray of food in her arms.

'Hey Brit, slow down a bit will you, you're making the rest of us look bad!' Quinn joked, calling after her. 'How is she always so active?' Quinn asked, walking into the room and closing the door behind her.

'No idea, I blame her mother. If she wasn't like thirty years older than Brit I'd have sworn they were twins.' Quinn laughed as Santana slouched back in one of the chairs over in the corner of their room. The blonde put the tray of food down and took her position in the second chair opposite the Latina.

'Feeling any better?' She asked, hanging Santana a bagel.

'A bit, not quite as bouncy as Brit but then most normal human beings aren't.' She smiled, Quinn didn't.

'Stop making jokes Santana, eat something and then talk to me.' Santana looked her in the eyes and she continued. 'You obviously don't want to talk to Brit so I'm all you've got. And we are going to stay in this room until you let me help you. Either that or I just kill you for being a pain in my ass.'

'Hah, you could try.' Santana stared into her eyes. 'You have no idea how much pain I can take Q.' Quinn's playful expression suddenly dropped as Santana said those last words. What the hell did that mean? She wondered, as she watched the Latina rip apart the bagel.


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm So Messed Up**

They sat and ate in silence for a good hour or more, neither one breaking the ice first until Santana began; 'So it was two years ago.' Quinn looked up from her magazine, folding it away and putting on the table. 'Next Monday, is the official anniversary.'

'Anniversary of what?' Quinn asked, as Santana had been quiet for a few moments.

'I think you need to see first, then I'll explain.' She sighed, and as she stood up to face the blonde she lifted her shirt. Running down the left side of her stomach were three thin lines, scars, the tissue a slightly different colour to the rest of her tanned skin. One of them ran from he bellybutton and disappeared around the side of her small frame. Quinn couldn't wipe the look of fear from her face. How had she never noticed them before? They got changed in front of each other for years when they were on the cheerios. 'Santana…' Quinn started to reach out but then the brunette turned around.

'There's more Q.' She smiled gently as she turned her back to Quinn, and she heard it. The noise that everyone made. Brittany made it, her parents made it, even the damn doctors made it. A gasp. It was as simple as that but it still made her want to cry. Her back was like a pattern. All down the left side were various size scars, one Quinn saw that ran all the way from her shoulder to her hip. Santana turned back around after a few minutes and put her shirt back in place, sitting in the same chair as before.

'What happened?' Quinn asked, gentle this time, after seeing all the damage that had already been done to her friend. Santana cleared her throat and sat forwards in her chair, hands clasped in together in front of her.

'So like I said, two years ago, around this time. I was on vacation with my parents. We went to Seattle because we have distant family there who we hardly ever visit. Basically we didn't know them well enough to stay in their house so we got a hotel, literally five minutes round the corner.' She lent back in her seat, the blonde watching her contently but she couldn't bring herself to look her in the eyes. Santana couldn't look at her without wanting to cry so she was looking everywhere but as she continued; 'One night,' she paused, 'one night I said I was bored so Papi said I could go back to the hotel.' She cleared her throat once more. 'He said I had to text him when I got there, you know, I was fourteen at the time.' Quinn nodded, but Santana still refused to look at her. 'I was walking for maybe, two minutes, when I felt someone grab me from behind.' She sniffed, damn it the tears were coming. She thought she might as well look at Quinn if the tears were going to drown her anyway, so she did. Looking up into green eyes full of fear and pity almost made her want to puke, but she carried on; 'There were two guys, from what I remember there was only two, one of them was holding me down whilst the other thought to would be fun to, well you know.' She looked away again.

'The scars?' Quinn asked quietly.

'Yeah, they took it in turns carving into my fucking skin.' She spat, as the tears started to burn her skin. Shaking her head she looked away.

'Santana it's okay,' Quinn tried to comfort her, but no way could she understand what the Latina was feeling, or must have felt when all of this happened.

'No it's not Q, I'm so messed up.' She was openly sobbing now as Quinn dragged her onto the bed, letting the brunette rest against her as she tried to lull her into a peaceful sleep. 'Shhh,' she whispered, stroking her hair, as the small girl sobbed her heart out.


	7. Chapter 7

**You Look Awful**

'Santana, honey wake up.' Quinn was still stroking her hair a few hours later.

'Q? What is it?' She said wearily from her position against the blonde.

'It's time to meet the guys for dinner.' Quinn informed her, as the Latina sat up stretching to the ceiling.

'Okay,' Santana confirmed, rummaging through her bag for something to wear.

'You sure you're up to coming? I can bring you something back up if you want?' Quinn yawned, looking for clothes in her own bag.

'No, thanks Q, but I think I want to. I need contact with people who don't look like they belong on a modelling runway, you're making me feel ugly.' She winked at the blonde as she walked into the bathroom. Quinn laughed as she slumped back down onto the bed, remembering what Santana had told her earlier in the day. She still couldn't believe it, no, didn't want to believe it. How could anyone do such a thing to a fourteen year old girl? Her thoughts were broken as Santana came back into the room, fully clothed and ready to go. 'I'll be five minutes,' Quinn said running into the bathroom with Santana calling out after her;

'Like normal person time or prom queen time?' She joked.

'Bite me!' Quinn called back through the doors, Santana smiling and falling back onto her bed. Quinn walked out five minutes later as promised and sat on the bed next to the Latina.

'Can I ask you something?' Santana sat up before replying;

'Sure.'

'When I was stroking your hair earlier, I felt something..' she placed her hand on the brunettes head, a spot to the right hand side just above her ear.

'Yeah, I wondered when you would ask about that.' Santana smiled. 'It's another scar. The first guy, when he grabbed me he pulled me backwards and I slammed my head onto the sidewalk. I think I was unconscious for a few minutes because when I woke up,' she looked at Quinn, 'lets just say that they had already started.' She smiled weakly and lifted herself up from the bed.

'San..' Quinn wanted to help her, to say anything that might make this okay for her.

'It's okay Q, its all in the past.' She assured her, and then for the first time, the Latina reached out and took the blonde's hand. This made Quinn smile as both girls headed down to the dining room.

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><p>They arrived in the dining room about ten minutes later, it really was a large hotel, and found that everyone was already seated. Santana and Quinn took two seats on the end with Kurt and Rachel, everyone thinking how odd it was when Santana didn't go straight to Brittany's side. 'Hey guys…' Rachel said, slightly confused by their presence.<p>

'What?' Quinn asked.

'Oh nothing,' Kurt interjected and then changed the subject. 'Wow Santana, you look awful.'

'Yeah, well I feel awful.' She replied, pouring herself and Quinn a glass of water each.

'Santana if you really feel that bad, shouldn't you be resting? I mean I certainly wouldn't want you to infect everyone right before the competition.' Rachel shuffled her chair slightly away from her, getting an evil look from the taller brunette.

'Calm down man-hands, not that kind of sick. You wont catch anything.'

'What does not that kind of sick mean? Either you are sick or you aren't.'

'Jesus Rachel, let it go.' Quinn yelled, causing the majority of the table to look up at her. 'Anyway, how was rehearsal?' She turned back to Quinn, allowing the embarrassment slowly seep away as Santana giggled at her.

'It was fine, we need all the practice we can get, and we still have to write two songs.' Kurt said, then added; 'but I'm sure it'll be great when we perform.'

'Right.' Santana concurred, and then they spent the rest of the meal talking about, well whatever really. Dinner was over and Santana had gone to use the rest room at the end of the dining hall when Brittany grabbed Quinn, pulling her to one side. 'Brit, what the hell?' She said, pulling out of the dancer's vice grip and rubbing her arm.

'Have the panic attacks started yet?' Brittany had never been more serious.

'What?' Quinn was momentarily disorientated as Brittany repeated;

'Santana, has she had any panic attacks?'

'Erm no, just the nightmares. Why does she get those?' Quinn asked, lowering her voice so no one over heard. Brittany just nodded and then looked around for Santana. 'She's fine B. She just went to the ladies room.' Quinn assured her, smiling.

'Okay but please keep an eye on her, she doesn't seem to want to let me in this time so you have to try and help her.'

'Of course I will B. So you know what happened then?'

'Yeah, her parents called me when they got home, right after it happened. Santana wouldn't stop crying and they wanted to see if I could calm her down.'

'You were able to?' Quinn wondered.

'Yeah I was but it only got worse after that.' Brittany sighed, 'she would scream at night, but never woke up unless someone woke her. She would sweat and shake and cry. And then a few days later she started to break down. Just randomly, she would collapse and try to hide. I don't know what sets her off but I just want you to be prepared okay.'

'Yeah, thanks B.' Quinn squeezed her hand comfortingly.

'Oh and if anything happens in front of the guys, just drag her away. She'll never live it down if they see her like that.' Quinn nodded as Santana made her way back to them.

'You okay?' Brittany asked, as Santana pulled her into a hug.

'Yeah,' she replied, pulling away. 'I just haven't hugged you today, that's all.' Santana smiled, getting one in return from the blonde. 'So what are we doing tonight?'

'I actually have a date with Sam, sorry.' Quinn said timidly.

'Yeah, of course, go have fun Q. Brit and I can find something to do.' She winked at the blonde as Quinn quickly ran over to Sam. She knew what they meant.


	8. Chapter 8

**We All Have Issues**

'Night beautiful.' Sam said, kissing Quinn as he dropped her off outside her hotel room. 'I'll see you at breakfast.' He grinned, strutting down the hallway, Quinn smiling after him.

'Night,' she whispered, and he turned around blowing her a kiss. Still grinning she slipped her room key into the door and gently pushed it open. It was close to 11.30 so she expected Santana to be asleep, although she was always cautious when she knew Brittany was with her. 'Hey Q,' Brittany whispered as the blonde rounded the corner. She saw Brittany lying in Santana's bed, the brunette lying in front of her sound asleep.

'Hey Brit, how is she?' Quinn sat quietly down on her bed facing the two girls.

'She's..' Brittany paused, 'she's okay, I think.' Brittany looked down at her. 'She's been asleep for about three hours without waking up, which is good. From what I remember last year she couldn't get more than an hour a night.

'Well I think it's the company that helps,' Quinn smiled at her. 'Do you want to stay the night?'

'No, Rachel just texted me, she wants me to come back.'

'Sure, yeah of course.' Quinn smiled as Brittany gently removed her arm from underneath the Latina, flexing it out of numbness, and then tiptoed out of the room. 'See you tomorrow Quinn.'

'Bye Brit.' She replied in return, silently sliding off her shoes and then creeping into the bathroom. She closed the door subtly and proceeded to stare at herself in the mirror. She could not get over this. How had this happened? She knew Santana wasn't the friendliest of people, but she wasn't a bad person. No one deserved to go through something like that, not even a bitchy former cheerleader. She ran her hands under the cold water and then splashed it over her face. Drying off on the towel she was trying to imagine what it must have been like to experience, to feel the knife piercing your skin and knowing that there was nothing you could do to prevent it. She shivered, snapping back to reality and swiftly changing into her pyjamas. As she was changing the thought once again popped into her head; how had she never noticed the scars? This was two years ago and they had gym together as well as cheerleading for most of that time. How had she been so blind? She switched the light off and slid into her bed and slowly let out a breath as she closed her eyes. 'Good date?' She jumped.

'San, you scared the crap out of me.' Quinn sat up and looked through the darkness.

'Lets call it payback shall we,' Santana replied, also sitting up and clicking on the light next to her bed. Quinn could see her smiling.

'How long have you been awake?' Quinn wondered, pulling the duvet around her shoulders and crossing her legs.

'I was never really asleep genius.' Santana lent her head against the headboard.

'How comes?'

'I just wanted B to think that she was helping, making me better. And I just like listening to her talk to me when she thinks I'm asleep.' Santana laughed, 'I think she's the most adorable human being alive.'

'You're probably right about that,' Quinn agreed, and then the brunette mad a move towards her bed. She pulled the covers from Quinn and sat in the bed next to her, pulling the blondes arms around her and lying them both down. 'San, what?' Quinn started, but Santana had already answered.

'Please Q, I just need..'

'I know, it's okay.' Quinn smiled, pulling the cover tightly over Santana's shoulders as the brunette rested her head on her stomach. 'San?'

'Mmm,' she mumbled.

'How comes I never once saw those scars at school? In the locker room I mean.'

'I hide everything Q, you should know that by now.' Santana grinned up at her, a sad smile. 'Think about it. I would always wait for Brit, she would always hold a towel in the air and pretend to be wrapping it around herself, but..'

'But she was just using it to hide you.'

'Gold star for blondie,' Santana joked.

'I'm sorry I didn't notice, I could have helped you.'

'Don't worry about it Q, we all have issues.' And that was the last thing Santana said before drifting off into, well, a not very peaceful sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**We Need To Find Her**

Quinn's alarm was going off. She groaned and rolled over slamming the side a few times before turning it off. 'San, come on.' She groaned again, looking round for the Latina. She wasn't next to her, or in her bed. Quinn scanned the room, her brain suddenly much more alert. She wasn't anywhere. She shot up and ran to the bathroom, 'Santana?' she called, but she wasn't there. 'Shit.' She said, wondering where the hell she would have gone. 'Brittany!' she exclaimed, pulling on a pair of jeans and a shirt, quickly running a brush through her hair. 'Come on, come on,' she paced in the elevator as it seemed to take forever to take her down four flights. It finally dinged at floor nine and she was bursting out before the doors could fully open. She ran down the hall scanning the room numbers until she found Brittany's. Knocking hastily she only had to wait moments before she was greeted by a smaller, more annoying, brunette. 'Quinn, good morning, what do we owe this…' Quinn cut her off, pushing past her into the room. Brittany was lying on her bed reading a magazine when she saw the troubled blonde.

'Quinn, what is it?' And just like that she was up and standing in front of her.

'Santana, is she here?' Brittany shook her head. 'Shit.' Quinn repeated, stamping her foot on the floor. 'Do you know where she might go?'

'No I have no idea, we've never been to New York before Q.'

'I know, I'm sorry, I just…' Quinn was getting more and more frustrated.

'Erm, pardon me, but what the hell is going on?' Rachel came over to them, the two blondes simply staring at her when Quinn grabbed Brittany and pulled her out of the room.

'Come on B, we have to find her.' Brittany didn't protest as they stormed out of the room and down the hall, leaving Rachel speechless.

* * *

><p>'I sent her a text.' Brittany informed Quinn as they were wandering through the various lounges and bars, not that Santana would get served without ID but there was always the chance.<p>

'Okay, but that's only good if she took her phone B so we need to keep looking.' Quinn's eyes searched every seat and corner in the room and then they moved onto the next.

'Quinn!' Brittany called, stopping the other blonde in her tracks.

'What?'

'She replied,' And Brittany read out loud; 'Sorry B, I'm in mine and Quinn's room.' They both let out a sigh of relief as they dashed back up to the room. On their way they were met by some of the glee clubbers.

'Woah slow down guys, breakfast is that way.' Mr Schu pointed out.

'Yeah we know, we're gonna skip breakfast if that's okay Mr Schu.' Quinn said, slightly out of breath.

'Erm, sure I guess, is everything okay?'

'Yeah where's Lopez? She's been acting strange this whole time.' Puck pointed out.

'She's in the room, she's fine.' Brittany stated, blank expression on her face.

'Okay well rehearsal at ten, don't forget, same room as yesterday.'

'Got it Mr Schu, see you there.' Quinn assured him, as Brittany grabbed her arm, lugging her towards the elevator.

* * *

><p>'Santana what the hell!' Quinn shouted, bursting through the door to their room. Brittany went straight up to the Latina and pulled her into a hug.<p>

'Hey B,' she said gently, returning the hug just as fiercely.

'Explain, now.' Quinn wanted an answer.

'I'm sorry guys, I guess I freaked out.'

'No shit! How comes?' Quinn asked, as all three girls sat on the edge of the nearest bed.

'I had a dream and managed to wake up on my own,' she paused, Brittany squeezing her hand. 'I dreamt that he, one of them,' she corrected, 'was in the room, and I couldn't get away.'

'It's okay San,' Brittany said, noticing a tear fall down her cheek.

'Anyway,' she said, shaking it off, 'I panicked when I woke up and just bolted, right out the door.'

'Where did you go?'

'Just around the hotel.' She told them, 'I got back here and checked my phone, saw Brit's text.'

'You walked around the hotel in those pyjamas?' Quinn sent her a questioning expression.

'Yeah I know,' she sighed, 'I didn't exactly stop to groom now did I. but they're comfy so I didn't really care.' She joked, the pyjamas definitely not the sexiest she could have chosen.

'I like them.' Brittany said, grinning.

'Of course you do B, they have ducks on them.' Santana laughed, and Quinn couldn't help break a smile as well. They spent the rest of breakfast chatting and catching up, it had been so long since the three of them had a proper conversation, but then they saw the clock; ten fifteen. 'Crap,' Quinn exclaimed, jumping off the bed. 'We're late guys, come on.'

'You heard her B, haul ass.' Santana said, pushing herself up.

'Yes, thanks Santana, come on!' She repeated, hustling them out of the room.


	10. Chapter 10

**You Have No Idea What's Going On Here**

'Nice of you to join us ladies.' Mr Schu said, annoyed expression on his face as the girls rushed into the rehearsal hall.

'Sorry Mr Schu.' Quinn apologised for all three of them, as Santana and Brittany came in behind her, Santana still looking ill simply because she was tired.

'You cant be late again guys, we cannot afford to loose practice time.' He said firmly, all of the girls nodding. 'Okay, so lets go through the first number, Mercedes, Kurt, come on up. Everyone else starting positions.' Everyone fell into rank as Mr Schu cued the music. Quinn and Brittany managed with no problems but Santana was tired, and hadn't had as much practice. This disadvantage was clearly showing in her performance. 'Hang on guys!' Mr Schu called over the music.

'What is it Mr Schu?' Finn asked, catching his breath.

'Santana, are you okay?' He walked over to the Latina, breathing heavily leaning her hands on her knees.

'I'm good Mr Schu, just need to catch up.' She tried to smile, but was overcome by a wave of dizziness.

'Woah,' Mr Schu caught her as she stumbled.

'Mr Schu, Santana is clearly unwell.' Rachel pointed out. 'Do we really want one member to be our downfall at regional's? I don't think so, so I suggest Santana sits out the first round of the competition.'

'Shut the hell up midget, I'm fine, I'm not going to infect anyone!' Santana shouted at her, but again she was overcome with dizziness.

'Santana!' Quinn ran over to her, helping her sit on the edge of the stage.

'I'm fine Q,' she said, swatting her away.

'Mr Schu, I hate to say it but I think I agree with Rachel.' Kurt walked forwards.

'Yeah, Santana can join in the next round, when she's feeling better.' Mercedes concurred.

'What, no, Mr Schu come on.' Brittany defended the brunette, still stricken on the edge of the stage.

'Santana, are you alright?' Mr Schu asked, Quinn answering before her.

'She just hasn't been sleeping much Mr Schu, or eating but it think it's probably nerves or something. She'll be fine for the competition she just needs to catch up on the routines.' Quinn looked at their teacher sincerely. 'You cant make her sit out.'

'It's fine Q, don't bother.' Santana said groggily as she slid off of the stage and began walking for the exit.

'Santana!' Quinn called after her. 'San!' But she was gone, the doors to the room swinging open and closed.

'Well, that's settled then.' Tina said.

'Shut the hell up, all of you!'

'Quinn calm down.' Mr Schu almost yelled at her, the rest of the glee club watching in awe.

'No Mr Schu, you have no idea what's going on here.' And with that, she jumped off of the stage in search of the Latina. Then all eyes were on Brittany.


	11. Chapter 11

**It Didn't Help At All?**

'Santana!' Quinn shouted, running out of the hall after the Latina. She caught up quickly due to the condition Santana was in, grabbing her arm before she could make it any further.

'Q, what the hell.' She spat, throwing herself around to face the blonde.

'Santana,' Quinn sounded sad and Santana heard it in her voice.

'Leave it Q, I don't care.'

'You do care S, I know you do.' Quinn took her by the hand and ushered her to the nearest pair of seats in the lobby.

'Think whatever you want.' Santana sat with her head in her hands.

'You're not okay Santana, you need to..'

'I need to what Q?' Santana shot her head back up and glared at the blonde.

'Haven't you ever talked to someone about it, you know like..'

'Like a shrink?' Santana finished for her.

'Yeah,' Quinn's voice was becoming gentler.

'I did.' Santana admitted. 'I saw her for a few months right after it happened. All they do is dope you up and send you on your way.'

'Did you talk about it a lot?'

'I did nothing but talk about it.' Santana laughed. 'They made me talk about it with my mum, then with my dad, they even dragged poor Brittany into a session with me.'

'It didn't help at all?' Santana shook her head, and then Quinn had a thought. 'Can I ask you something?'

'What?' Santana looked at the blonde, intrigued and terrified at what she may ask.

'Did they ever catch them, the guys who hurt you?' Quinn saw all of the blood drain from her face, she had her answer before Santana could say it out loud.

'No.' She whispered. 'They didn't.' She could feel the tears. The damn things were coming again.

'Santana,' Quinn took her hand, holding it tight.

'I'm fine Q, really.' She tried to smile, wiping away her tears as she tried to laugh it off. Quinn's expression never changing. 'And the guys are right, I don't want to screw this up for them.'

'They're not right Santana, they have no right to not let you perform the first round. You are just as much a part of this team as anyone else.'

'Thanks Q, but you only need twelve members remember, you can certainly do it without me. Besides, the way I feel now, I'd probably pass out half way through a number.'

'Well regardless, they should at least give you a few days to pull it together. See if you get any better? The first round isn't for another four days.' Quinn reminded her.

'I know,' Santana agreed, leaning back in her chair.

'So, just come to rehearsals, please. You can watch until you feel well enough to join in.'

'Okay Q.' Santana smiled.

'Good, now,' Quinn jumped up. 'Lets go back to the room and order some really expensive room service.' Santana laughed, Quinn pulling her up and then both girls walked slowly towards the elevators.

'So, Brit,' Puck walked over to her. 'Do you want to tell us what that was all about?'

'Yeah, what the hell is up with Santana?' Artie asked, 'she's acting really strange.'

'I have to say I've noticed that too,' Mr Schu walked over to the blonde now, looking for an answer. 'Is Santana alright Brittany?' He put his hand on her shoulder.

'I can't tell you. I'm sorry.' She said, pulling away from her teacher and making for the exit.

'Mr Schu we need to find out what's up.' Mercedes said, as she watched the blonde swing open the doors and leave.

'I agree, but we cant force them to tell us anything. They'll come to us when they're ready.'

'Mr Schu, I for one don't appreciate all of this added drama right before the competition.'

'Yeah I agree with Rachel,' Finn walked up and stood next to her. 'Santana's probably just annoyed she didn't get a solo.'

'We don't know that guys, and no one is jumping to conclusions. We need more information.' Mr Schu needed to keep them together, they couldn't turn on each other over rumours.

'Yeah Mr Schu, what if Santana really needs our help? She looked awful at dinner last night.' Kurt sat on the edge of the stage next to Mike and Tina, who nodded in agreement.

'Well, then we help her.' Mr Schu rubbed his eyes and then went back into focused teacher mode. 'Come on guys,' he clapped, 'we need to make this work we'll just have to work out where the girls will be later.'


	12. Chapter 12

**Nationals Was Supposed To Be Fun….**

'Let me in.' Brittany called as she knocked on Santana and Quinn's hotel room. A few moments later the door swung open. Quinn greeted her with a sad smile.

'Hey B.'

'What happened? I got your text. Is she okay?' Brittany burst into the room but Quinn grabbed her arm before she could make it around the corner to the beds.

'Shh, B, she's asleep okay. Come with me.' Quinn led her by the hand back out into the hall.

'What happened?' Brittany asked again once they were outside the room.

'Well everything was fine. I found her, we talked and then came back up to the room.' Quinn looked around nervously.

'But..' Brittany prompted.

'But then she started to act weird, well weirder than normal.' Quinn corrected.

'Weird how?'

'In the elevator, she froze. She just stood with her back to the wall and started knocking her fists on the elevator wall behind her. She wouldn't make eye contact with me and then she started to count.'

'Wait count, did she stop at ten?' Quinn gave her an odd look.

'Yeah, how did you..?'

'She does that, counts to ten, to try and stop herself having panic attacks. It helps calm her down.'

'Right, but I don't understand how it started? What could have triggered it in the elevator?' Quinn lent against the wall letting out a long breath.

'I don't know. It was the same last year.' Brittany lent next to Quinn but put her back to the wall. 'And I have no idea how to help her.'

'Me neither B, me neither.' Quinn gave her arm a reassuring squeeze. 'Come on.' They walked back into the room and once again found an empty bed. 'Santana?' Quinn called.

'Look,' Brittany pointed to the far side of the room, curtains blowing inwards. The balcony.

'San?' Quinn said gently, as she and Brittany walked out into the fresh air. She was crying. 'You okay.'

'No,' she wiped her nose on her sleeve as Brittany and Quinn sat on the chair beside her. 'I'm sorry.' She sobbed.

'Hey,' Brittany moved to the back of her, throwing her arms around the crying girls shoulders. 'Don't apologise.' Brittany whispered, Santana clinging onto her arm for dear life.

'But it's so pathetic!' She was genuinely frustrated with herself, 'I'm just making everyone's trip so depressing. Nationals was supposed to be fun for everyone.'

'Santana stop it.' Quinn shuffled forwards in her chair, grabbing the Latina's hand so that all three girls were linked to each other. 'Like I said before, it is not pathetic to need help. Especially with something like this. I cannot imagine what you must be going through right now but I do know that I want to help you get through it. Okay?' Brittany shot her a smile. Santana could only manage a nod as she gripped the blonde behind her tighter, pulling her down and burying her face in the warm material of her hoodie. 'Okay.' Quinn repeated in a whisper, 'I'm going to talk to Mr Schu.' But as she got up to leave, Santana caught her arm.

'You cant tell him Q.' Quinn looked down at her sympathetically.

'San come on, we have to. If you don't want the guys to start digging we need him on our side. He can make them back off.' She felt Santana's grip loosen, obviously the Latina was seeing her point. She nodded and let Quinn go, leaving her and Brittany alone.

'It'll be okay San.' She promised, kissing the top of her head.

'Yeah.' Santana agreed silently, knowing that this would follow her around forever.


	13. Chapter 13

**Not Any Time Soon**

'Can I come in Mr Schu?' Quinn peeked her head around the door to Mr Schu's room. He said he would always leave it open when he was there in case they needed him.

'Sure Quinn, come on in.' Mr Schu greeted her with a smile, offering her the seat in the corner of his room. She took it, perching on the end and smiling at him. 'Can I get you anything? A drink?' He asked rather awkwardly.

'No, thanks Mr Schu, I really need to talk to you.'

'Of course, what is it?' Mr Schu becoming more serious from the tone in the blonde's voice. He sat on the corner of his bed, waiting for the girl to begin.

'It's about Santana…' she started, and then filled Mr Schu in on everything. The attack, the nightmares, the panic attacks. 'So..' she concluded. 'We need you to help us with the rest of the guys. Only me and Brit know and Santana doesn't want it to get out.'

'Of course, I completely understand Quinn, and I'll try my best to help you guys. Is Santana going to be okay?'

'Honestly,' Quinn looked at him. 'No. I don't think she will be. Not any time soon anyway.' Mr Schu rubbed his head and began pacing the room.

'How did this happen?' He sighed.

'I've been asking myself that since I found out Mr Schu.' Quinn got up and walked over to him. 'Mr Schu?' He looked the blonde right in the eyes and saw how sad they were, how worried. 'I was thinking that when we get back to school, maybe you could talk to Miss Pillsbury. I think Santana needs to talk to someone.'

'I agree. I can call her before we get back, schedule some appointments.'

'Thanks Mr Schu, I know she's been to a therapist and said it didn't work. But maybe if she talks to someone she knows it will be different.'

'It's worth a try Quinn. Her nightmares are really that bad?'

'They,' and she hated admitting this out loud but, 'they scare me, Mr Schu.' She could feel herself on the verge of tears.

'It's okay Quinn, I know it's scary. I know how much you want to help Santana.' She nodded as she walked into his arms, tightening her grip around his back. She just needed someone to hug her, and tell her that Santana was going to be fine. 'It's okay.' He repeated. 'You and Brittany are good for her, she needs you guys.'

'I know. I just wish she would have told me sooner.' She wiped her eyes on her sleeve as she stepped away from her teacher. He nodded sympathetically. 'I'm sorry I cried all over your vest.' She giggled, Mr Schu joining her shortly afterwards.

'Not a problem Quinn, I have a whole suitcase full of vests.' And then she was openly laughing at him.

'I'm so sorry,' she giggled, 'I'll see you later Mr Schu,' she tried to control the laughter as she thanked him one more time. When she was gone Mr Schuester went straight to his phone; 'Emma? Hi, it's Will…..'


	14. Chapter 14

**Cant You Focus On Something Else…?**

Quinn had informed the girls of what Mr Schu planned to do. Santana wasn't overly thrilled about talking to Miss Pillsbury, but it was the least she could do for Quinn. She'd been so great over the past few days and Santana would do anything to repay her. They stayed in the girls room until it was time for dinner, which meant meeting the rest of glee club. Santana was not looking forward to it. 'Come on S, you'll have to see them eventually.' Brittany called through the bathroom door.

'I know, just, give me a second.' She shouted back. She was delaying getting dressed for as long as possible, but they were expected in the dining hall in ten minutes. It will take them longer than that just to walk there. She slowly pulled on her jeans and a loose fitting top and unlocked the bathroom door.

'About time.' Quinn exclaimed, 'lets go.' She grabbed the Latina's arm and immediately felt her tense up. 'Santana, it will be fine. No one is going to care I promise. Hell, I bet half of them have already forgotten about rehearsal earlier.'

'You're a bad liar Q.' Santana smiled, 'Ugh, fine, lets go.' She huffed, walking out behind Brittany, Quinn pulling the door shut behind them.

'It's about time you three,' Mercedes said, she and the rest of the glee club already seated around the table.

'Sorry we got,' Quinn looked at Santana, 'delayed.'

'Well they're here now so lets eat! I'm starved.' Finn declared. Mr Schu gave Santana a reassuring smile as she took her seat next to Puck and Brittany. She nodded back to let him know she was okay, and then they all ordered their food. The meal was pleasant enough, hotel food but still. No one had mentioned Santana's weird behaviour, until now, and it had to be Berry who brought it up.

'Are you feeling any better Santana?' The entire table turned their heads in the Latina's direction, waiting for her response.

'Yeah, much. Thanks.' She went back to playing with her sundae, but Rachel wasn't going to let her get away that easy.

'So, do you think you'll be able to perform with us?' Santana planted her spoon down heavily in her bowl, looking up at the diva.

'I'm not sure yet.'

'How can you not be sure? You are still unwell yes?'

'Yes Berry, I am still unwell.' She replied sarcastically, and was thankful that Quinn cut in.

'Cant you just focus on something else Rachel? I'm sure there are plenty of other people you could be annoying right now.'

'Well Quinn, I'm just concerned is all. I'd hate for one person to ruin this for everyone. I need to know, as I think everyone else does, whether Santana will be performing.'

'Why do you need to know? Mr Schu plans the routines.' Brittany added. Mr Schu, unfortunately, was not there. He had gone back to his room for some reason so Rachel had decided to play twenty questions.

'I just think we should know if one of our members planned on passing out half way through a song. If that's the case then I would advise everyone to focus on something else this trip because we clearly wont be winning Nationals.'

'Listen Yental, I don't plan on doing anything. I don't know if I will be performing because I'm not sure how I feel yet. But believe me, if it shuts you up, you'll be the first to know.'

'Well I think you're being selfish Santana, we all know you're just upset because Mr Schu didn't pick you for a solo.'

'You're kidding me, right?' Santana looked at her in shock. 'You think I would be that petty, you think I care about a damn solo?'

'Well, it's glee, everyone cares about the solos.'

'No, you care about the solos. I couldn't give a shit about anything.' She pushed her chair out and stood up.

'San,' Brittany grabbed her arm but the brunette pulled away from her.

'No, you know what, I've decided. I'm not performing in the first round, or the second one for that matter. Because like I said, I couldn't give a shit.' She rammed the chair back under the table and headed for the exit, brushing past Mr Schu as she went.

'Hey, what's going on guys?' He asked as he got back to the table.

'Ask Rachel,' Quinn spat, getting out from her own chair to follow the Latina. Brittany went to move with her but Quinn put a hand on her shoulder. 'No B, stay here, defend her okay.' She whispered.

'Okay.' Brittany said, slowly sitting in her seat as the furious blonde went in search of Santana.


	15. Chapter 15

**I Don't Want This**

'What are you doing out here San?' Quinn asked walking over to her. The Latina had made her way out into the hotels small garden, Quinn only realising what Santana was doing when a large puff of smoke was blown in her direction. Coughing and waving her hand in front of her face, she stood in front of her friend. 'That's bad for you.'

'Well done.' Santana replied sarcastically.

'The first time I caught you, you said it was a one time thing.'

'It was. Now it's a two time thing.'

'Santana,' Quinn went to put her arms around the brunette, neither of them having a jacket on and the wind was colder than pervious nights.

'Don't Q,' she shrugged her off and walked across the garden, sitting on the farthest bench as she took the last drag of her cigarette. 'I'm fine.' She put out the bud, throwing it in the trash.

'Why do you keep telling people you're fine, when clearly you aren't?' Quinn sat next to her on the bench, this time when she placed a comforting hand on the brunettes knee, she didn't make an effort to move away.

'Because, I don't want… this,' she waved her arms in the air. 'People feeling sorry for me. People trying to fix me. People, looking at me like there's something wrong with me.' She looked Quinn right in the eyes.

'But we care about you Santana.' Breaking eye contact the brunette looked to the floor.

'I know, and you and B are fine, it's everyone else.'

'By everyone else you mean?'

'My parents, they cant look at me without feeling some sort of guilt, for letting me walk home alone that night. The doctors, every time I would go back for a check up I would get the sad eyes and the patronising smiles. And now, Mr Schuester knows and Miss P knows and,' she exhaled a breath letting out a cry of frustration as she stood up and walked across the garden. 'Everyone is going to know Q. Do you think anyone will look at me the same again?' Quinn looked down, not sure how to answer that. 'Didn't think so. They're all going to see me as the girl who was broken once and couldn't recover, they'll see me for what I am. Weak and,' she paused, 'Weak, and fucking scared.' She slumped down on the bench across from Quinn, green eyes meeting her watery brown ones.

'I think you're wrong.' She said quietly, as the rain began to fall on them.

'Why?' Santana asked, not making an effort to shield herself from the rain.

'Let's go up to the room and get warm.' She smiled at the Latina as she walked past her and back into the hotel. Santana thought about it for a moment. She though she could stay out in the gardens all night, and even though she would probably get a cold, she could be away form everyone. The rain turned torrential, the sky turned dark, and she got up to go into the hotel.


	16. Chapter 16

**What Are You So Afraid Of?**

'So, I'm wrong?' She questioned, sitting on her bed after a shower, opposite Quinn who had done the same.

'Yeah, you are.' Quinn was sitting cross legged on top of her sheets, whilst Santana had made an effort to wrap hers all the way around her.

'How am I wrong?'

'Because I don't think people will call you weak. I think they'll say you're the complete opposite.' Santana snorted.

'Right, because the girl who has nightmares and panic attacks is someone to look up to. Give me a break Q, no one is going to think anything of me anymore.'

'I don't think you're giving people enough credit here San. Is your reputation that important to you?' She was going to cry again. Fuck. The tough hard-core Santana Lopez has cried more on this one trip than throughout all of her baby years combined.

'I don't care about that, do you think I'd still be in glee if I did?' Quinn laughed.

'I guess I can see your point.' She moved forward on the bed so that her legs were hanging over the edge. 'So what are you so afraid of? You have lived with this for two years, with pretty much only Brittany to talk to. You wake up screaming in the middle of the night and you come to school anyway. You put on your best bitch smirk every day regardless of how crap your night was. That's anything but weak Santana.'

'I'm afraid,' she swallowed, looking Quinn in the eyes as hers burst over at the seams. She couldn't stop the tears as she said the words; 'Damn it,' she looked up, and then back at Quinn. 'I'm so fucking afraid of it happening again Q.' She sobbed, as Quinn moved on to her bed running her hand up and down Santana's back.

'It's not going to happen again Santana.' Quinn was close to tears herself at this point, rocking the brunette in her arms.

'You don't know that, it could just as easily happen again. And if people knew that I was.. that I.'

'What, that you were an easy target?'

'Yeah Q, I know that sounds stupid, but if people knew how scared I was.' She took a deep breath, 'I'm so fucking scared, all the time.' She whispered.

'Santana..' Quinn couldn't believe she had been living like this for two years. She had no idea that one of her closest friends was pretty much dying inside. 'Santana look at me.' Quinn let the Latina push herself up and wipe away her tears before looking into her eyes. 'You, are the strongest person I know. Even more so since you told me about, what happened. And you were so young then, you've changed. You don't take any shit, from anyone. And you don't have to be afraid anymore. Me and Brit, we've got your back okay?' She tried to lighten the mood and kissed Santana on the forehead.

'Yeah, okay.' She laughed.

'What?' Quinn looked at her smiling.

'I bet this isn't how you thought you'd be spending nationals.'

'Well, I have to admit it was a change in my otherwise boring schedule.' Quinn pulled her in for a hug.

'Seriously though, I am sorry for taking up your time. I know you'd rather be spending it with Sam.' Quinn tensed so Santana pulled away and looked into her eyes. 'What Q?'

'I'm actually breaking up with Sam.'

'Why? Is it his lips? Are you afraid that the next time you kiss him he'll just swallow you whole?' She grinned.

'No, don't be mean.' Quinn slapped her playfully. 'It's just.. There's nothing there, you know?'

'Yeah, I know.' Santana gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze and then both girls went to sleep. Well one of the girls went to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

**Brittany, Help Me!**

Four AM. Quinn heard someone talking. It was Santana, talking in her sleep. 'No, no please, no…' she rolled over onto her front as Quinn made her way over. She knelt in front of the brunette, who had now taken clumps of sheet in her hand and was squeezing it tight. 'Santana,' Quinn gently touched her shoulder but nothing happened, so she repeated; 'Santana, wake up.' She began stroking her hair out of her eyes. And then she screamed. Without warning she completely flipped out, sending Quinn to the floor through surprise. 'Santana!'

* * *

><p><em>She felt him gripping her ponytail. She felt him pulling her to the floor. The next thing she remembered was a throbbing pain in the side of her skull, and lifting her hand tentatively she felt a warm liquid seeping down her face. Blood covered her hand as she looked around her. She couldn't see anyone, but she could feel them. Someone was on her back, big rough hands pinning her down. 'Come on, do it already.' She heard someone say.<em>

'_What the fuck man, look she's already waking up, lets just leave her.' _

'_Don't you dare pussy out on me, just do it.' She didn't know what was happening. The metaphorical stars flying around her head didn't help, but she genuinely didn't know why they were doing this. 'Please…' She croaked out._

'_Shit, get up.' She felt them moving around above her, shuffling their feet. In the distance she could hear police sirens. But it was Seattle, they had lots of police cars unlike Lima, so she knew they weren't coming to help her. 'Give it to me.' The voice came again. 'I'll do it myself.' And with that she felt it. The sharp, stabbing sensation of metal piercing her skin. It was an odd feeling, an unusual sensation that the body isn't conditioned for. It made her want to throw up. _

* * *

><p>'Oh god, Santana! Wake up!' Quinn shouted, shaking the brunettes small shoulders. But it was no use, she wasn't snapping out of this any time soon. Brittany, she'll know what to do. Quinn ran to her bag and frantically searched for her phone. Flipping it open and dialling Brittany as she watched Santana. She wasn't screaming anymore, but her grip on the sheets had tightened, her left hand simply balled into a fist. If she didn't wake up soon she would draw blood, of that Quinn was sure, so she needed to get Brittany.<p>

'Quinn?' Came a tired voice on the other end of the line.

'Rachel?' Quinn said, confused. 'Where's Brit?'

'She's asleep. Just like I was until..' Quinn interrupted her.

'Rachel you need to put Brittany on the phone.'

'Quinn, what's going on?' Rachel wasn't going to let this go.

'Just put Brittany on the phone! Now!' She shouted.

'Jesus, fine hang on.'

'And tell her it's an emergency.' She added, looking back to Santana.

'No, stop, stop, ahh,' she cried, and Quinn's heart was breaking. Seeing her in so much pain. Then a small voice appeared on the phone.

'Q, what is it? Rachel said it was an…'

'Emergency, yeah, you need to get up here B, now.'

'Is she okay?' Quinn could hear Brittany moving around, on her way.

'No she's not, it's really bad.' Brittany could hear her close to tears as she made her way to the front door. Quinn could also hear Rachel, making a fuss and moaning at Brittany for leaving after curfew.

'Quinn, Rachel wont let me out unless I let her come.'

'I don't care what she does, Brittany, help me!' She hung up the phone and went back to the stricken Latina. Her left hand was now dying the sheets around it red, her nails digging into the palm of her hand.

'Q.. No, help me..' she murmured. And it was the first time Santana had said her name whilst dreaming. Maybe she was having an effect?


	18. Chapter 18

**Just Let Me Try**

Frantic knocking riddled the door a few moments later, Brittany. Quinn jumped up from next to Santana to get the door. She had been sitting on the bed, gripping the Latina's left hand in an effort to prevent further injury, but it wasn't really working. 'B, come on.' Quinn pulled her into the room, but failed to notice the small girl behind her.

'How long has she been like this?' Brittany went round to the left of Santana's bed with Quinn covering the right side.

'Maybe, twenty minutes? Is that bad?' Quinn had managed to hold off on the tears, for the moment.

'Well, the longest one I can remember went on for an hour.' Brittany gave Quinn a weak smile, and then they heard something from behind them;

'Oh my god..'

'Rachel! What the hell is she doing here Brit?' Quinn quickly went and slammed the room door closed after Rachel.

'I told you, she wouldn't let me leave without bringing her.'

'So you didn't ditch her somewhere?'

'Quinn calm down okay, you said to help you, this was the only way I could do that.'

'I know, Brit, I'm sorry, I just..' She ran her hand through her hair, Brittany nodded, understanding and then turning to Rachel.

'Yeah, Rachel, what you see in here stays in here. Got it?' The small brunette nodded.

'Is she okay?' Rachel asked quietly.

'No, she's not.' Quinn repeated, bending down to rest her hand on the Latina's forehead. 'How do we wake her up?' Brittany sighed.

'I don't know Q, just let me try..' She sat on the bed. 'Santana,' She gently held her shoulders and rolled the Latina back onto her back. 'San, honey can you wake up for me please?' She was being gentle. Quinn was thinking of resorting to a slap when Brittany knocked on the door. And then Santana started to mumble;

'No… no… can't…' She grabbed Quinn's arm, tight.

'Santana, try and wake up.' She said, getting a nod from Brittany. Rachel was still standing statue-like at the foot of the bed, not sure weather to help or to run away.

'Q.. hurts…' Her face turned to a grimace, her eyes still not opening.

'I know it hurts, but you have to try.' Quinn was crying. She couldn't not cry. She didn't understand how Santana could acknowledge them and not be able to wake up.

'N… no.. Ahh!' And with that last scream she finally awoke, shooting upwards and almost slamming into Brittany, who was able to catch her before any more damage was done. 'Guys? He's here, he's…' She breathed heavily.

'No he isn't, it's us, you're okay.' Brittany smiled at her, Santana realising her left hand was slowly covering the taller blonde's arm in blood. 'Shit, I'm sorry B.' She pulled away and laid back down, putting her clean hand over her eyes, before looking back at the dancer.

'Don't worry about it.' Then Santana looked at Quinn.

'I take it I woke you up again .' She tried to smile, Quinn stroking her hair. Messy and sweat soaked but Quinn didn't care.

'You did, damn pain in my ass.' She joked, causing Santana to laugh, but then she saw the odd figure in the room.

'Berry?' She looked between Brittany and Quinn, 'You bought fucking Berry here?'

'Santana I didn't have a choice,' Brittany informed her, but then felt the brunette start to shake. 'San calm down okay, it's okay.' The blonde smiled down at her.

'No, she'll.. She'll tell, they'll all know now.' She panted, she was panicking. Brittany grabbed both of her arms and held them in front of her, whilst she counted to ten. 'One… two…. three.' She paused, releasing a shaking breath.

'What is she doi….' Rachel began, but Quinn cut her off.

'Let her finish Rachel.' Quinn glared at her and she backed off.

'Four… five… six.. seven, eight, nine, ten.' She let out a final breath and looked to Rachel. 'You even think, about telling anyone. And I'll kill you myself.' Rachel nodded. 'Thanks for this Brit,' she looked up at her friend. 'But can you,' she swallowed before continuing; 'can you take her back to your room and explain because I cant do it again.' She let a tear roll down her cheek, Brittany quickly wiping it away.

'Of course. We'll see you in the morning.' She smiled, squeezing Quinn on the shoulder and shooting her a reassuring smile, before ushering Rachel out of the room.

'That was, interesting.' Quinn sat next to the brunette, who smiled and nodded in agreement. 'I think we need to do something about your hand.' The blonde motioned down to the Latina's left hand, blood staining the sheets all around it.

'Yeah, I think you're right about that one. Shit.' She flexed it, pain running up her arm like an electric shock. She had dug her own nails into her palms, hard. There were small semi-circle shaped cuts dotted across her left hand, blood trickling slowly from each of the wounds.

'Come on.' Quinn picked her arm up and they walked to the bathroom. Berry was going to have a field trip with this, she thought.


	19. Chapter 19

**You Always Have Me**

Santana woke up the next morning, unsure of how long she had been out, with a tired blonde looking over her. 'Jesus Q, how long have you been staring at me?' She pushed herself up, looking Quinn in the eyes.

'All night.' Quinn admitted. 'I wanted..' she paused, 'I wanted to keep you safe.'

'Why?' Santana looked at her with shocked eyes. Not even Brittany had watched her sleep all night.

'Because I think you need someone to take care of you, all though you would never admit it, I think you do.' She smiled, leaning back on the headboard. Santana took that as an invitation and laid back down beside her.

'Thanks Q.' She smiled, the blonde taking her hand.

'You're welcome. But Santana, what would happen if these nightmares came more frequently. Like more than just a few weeks a year. What if they happened every night?' Quinn looked at the brunette, the panic in her eyes saying that it wasn't the first time she'd thought about something like that happening.

'Then,' she paused, 'then I don't know Q.' She replied honestly. 'I really don't know what I would do.' She smiled weakly, the blonde deciding to leave the conversation for the moment.

'And just for the record, I wasn't watching you all night.' She smiled.

'Really,' Santana looked at her.

'Yeah, at about eight I got up and broke up with Sam.'

'Wow, you were serious about that then?' The blonde nodded. 'How'd he take it?'

'Like a gentleman, surprisingly,' she smiled. 'I think he knew that it wasn't, special enough, what we had.'

'That's good then,' Santana smiled, leaning her head back down on the pillows.

'What about, you and Brittany?' Quinn asked, looking down at the tired Latina.

'Oh,' she sighed, once again pushing herself up. 'She's with Artie. She's definitely not on my team anymore.' Santana smiled, Quinn didn't.

'That sucks S, I'm sorry.' She squeezed her hand.

'Whatever, she didn't need all of my shit slowing her down anyways. She's going to go to Julliard or somewhere to be a big hot-shot dancer.' Quinn nodded, agreeing that Brittany would definitely do big things with her dancing.

'What about you?' She looked into big green eyes.

'What about me?'

'What are you going to do, once all of this is over?'

'Oh, that.' Santana smiled. 'I try not to think about it.' She laid back down, pulling Quinn's arm over her. The blonde obliged and laid down beside her, wrapping her arm across her stomach and holding on tight.

'Well, whatever happens, you always have me, okay.'

'Yeah, thanks Q.' She smiled out at the room, the blonde unable to see her face, how happy that made her, to know that Quinn would always be around.

'But, it's past breakfast so do you want me to get us something?' The blonde asked, Santana shaking her head. 'Okay, but you at least need to shower, you're kind of a mess.' She giggled.

'So are you Q.. you know what, that's a lie!' She threw her arms playfully into the air as she got up. 'How the hell do you always look good?' She mumbled to herself in Spanish as she walked into the bathroom, the blonde smiling after her.


	20. Chapter 20

**I Wouldn't Actually Kill You**

Santana was glad they missed breakfast. Rehearsals however, she was not looking forward to. Quinn had convinced her to come and watch, but she had no idea what to do about Berry. The one person she really didn't want to tell, now knew her most painful secret. She walked through the doors to the rehearsal hall with Quinn's arm lined through her own. Brittany and Rachel were the only one's there. 'Where's everyone else?' Quinn asked, walking them over to the row of seats the other two girls were occupying.

'Mr Schu moved rehearsal to ten thirty, not ten. We just wanted to talk to you.' Brittany informed them. 'Well, Rachel wanted to talk to you. I said not to because Santana would probably kill her, but she insisted.' They both looked at the small brunette.

'Whilst I understand Santana's position, I don't actually believe she would kill me Brittany.' Rachel smiled at them, Santana not returning the favour.

'You really want to try me Berry?' Rachel's smile dropped, clearing her throat, she continued.

'No Santana I don't. I just wanted to tell you that I'm not going to tell anyone. I may be lots of things but I'm not a snitch.' She tried to smile weakly at Santana, who partially returned the favour.

'Thanks Berr.. Rachel.' She corrected.

'But just so you know, I don't think you give us enough credit Santana.' Quinn knocked her arm playfully, recalling an earlier conversation in the hotel room. Santana ignored it and listened to the diva. 'We're you're friends. We would have understood.'

'Maybe, yeah.' Santana somewhat conceded, not liking the idea of trusting lots of teenagers to keep something like this to themselves.

'And I for one, wouldn't have jumped to conclusions about you. I'm sorry.' She grabbed Santana's hand, feeling it tense up.

'I know, and just so you know, I wouldn't actually kill you.' Santana grinned.

'Is that right?' Rachel smiled.

'Yeah, too messy. I'd have to hire someone.' She laughed, Rachel didn't. 'Jesus Berry, I'm kidding.'

'Yeah, yeah I knew that.' She began to smile awkwardly, the two blondes grinning at each other.

'And if you ever need any herbal tea or calming agents please call me. I carry packs everywhere with me, you know, to keep my voice at it's best.'

Santana laughed. 'Sure Berry, thanks, I guess?' She looked at Brittany who nodded, and then the doors swung open.

'Ladies,' Puck greeted them, followed in by Finn and Sam. The awkwardness between him and Quinn only slightly visible. He smiled as he walked past her, Santana giving her arm a squeeze. They were still linked together as they sat down, waiting for their teacher and the rest of the group.

'Look Berry, just because you know my deep dark secret, doesn't mean you need to start hanging out with me.' Santana was sitting next to the diva, watching some of the other's run through some more choreography for nationals.

'I know, but I want to.' She replied tentatively.

'You want to see if I freak out.' Santana corrected, her eyes never leaving the stage.

'No Santana of course not. But I want to be able to help you.' She turned to face the Latina. 'You know you haven't taken your eyes off of the stage since we sat down.'

'What's your point?' She said coldly, turning to face the diva.

'No point.' She smiled, Santana rolling her eyes and turning back to the stage. 'But I was thinking, since Brittany already knows, that you and Quinn could stay in our room tonight. It'll be a hotel slumber party.'

'I dunno Rachel, what if I..' she drifted off.

'It's okay Santana, that was kind of my idea anyway, we'll be up all night and you'll be with friends if you drift off.' Santana looked at the girl suspiciously.

'Whatever.'

'Whatever as in yes?'

'Jesus, yes, if it'll shut you up.' The Latina lifted her legs up, leaning them on the chair in front of her. 'Why are you being so nice anyway? Yesterday you were all up in my grill because you thought I was a selfish bitch.'

'Okay first of all, I never called you a bitch. And secondly, we're all team mates, I just want to be there for you.'

'Well, thanks, I guess.' Santana's reply caused the smaller girl's smile to grow wider, and then they sat back and watched the rehearsal.


	21. Chapter 21

**She's So Cold**

'So,' Quinn asked as she and Santana were walking down to Brittany and Rachel's hotel room later that evening. 'Why are we doing this?' Santana shrugged;

'The company.'

'Right, because you like Berry.' Quinn laughed.

'She's not,' Santana looked at her and saw her eyebrow raise, 'she's not that bad.'

'If you say so. But if she makes us drink those horrible herbal remedy things, I'm blaming you.' Santana laughed this time, her hand swinging down by her side, and as they turned to face the room door she accidentally brushed Quinn's arm. They looked at each other for a moment. A split second in time when their eyes connected, and then the door flew open. Neither of them remembered knocking but they let it go, breaking eye contact and putting on awkward smiles at the blonde in front of them.

'Hey guys!' Brittany yelled, 'You okay? You look weird.'

'We're fine B,' Quinn assured her, walking into the room first with Santana letting out a breath as she followed.

'Quinn, Santana, thank you for showing up.' Rachel beamed. 'I didn't think you would.'

'Well Santana made me so,' Rachel looked to Santana.

'Oh.' The taller brunette slumped down on one of the beds. And by the look of the perfectly made sheets and pink alarm clock on the side table, it was Rachel's.

'So, what are we supposed to do now?' Santana questioned.

'How about a movie?' Quinn suggested, sitting next to Santana as she picked up the remote and flipped through the movie guide. They eventually decided on Carousel, simply because Rachel wouldn't stop going on about it once they saw it was listed, but she was the only one who made it to the end. Brittany was lost within the first twenty minutes, Quinn and Santana drifting off just after the hour mark. Rachel finished the movie, switching off the television and lying back on her bed. Santana was kind of in the way, but Rachel managed to fit along the side of her. She laughed when she looked over to Quinn and Brittany, sprawled out and intertwining with each other. It didn't look comfortable at all, but then her focus was pulled away from them and onto the Latina next to her.

'C…cant.'

'Santana?' Rachel questioned, not sure what to do. Wake her up? 'Santana?'

'No.. no..' She turned over to face Rachel, but she was still asleep. The smaller girl could see beads of sweat forming on her face, her expression changing as her eyebrows scrunched up.

'Santana, are you okay?' She whispered, gently touching her shoulder. She was so cold.

_He's at the end of the bed. She could see him. He's just standing there. 'What the hell do you want from me?' She yelled. But he still just stood there. She only got one look at his clothes when it happened, managing to look up as he and the other guy were running away. His black jeans and black leather jacket were the only way she could distinguish him, she never saw his face. 'Who are you?' She asked, but he remained at the end of the bed, unmoving and threatening. 'Who the fuck are you!' He laughed. She saw his smile in the darkness, his teeth but nothing else. He grinned at her as he moved around the bed, and she was paralysed. She could see Brittany and Quinn on the bed next to her, she could feel Rachel beside her, but none of them woke up as she screamed. 'Get away from me!' He kept coming. 'I said stay away from me!' He was at her side now, still laughing, with a knife in his hand. With one final scream it came plummeting down._

'Santana!' Rachel yelled again, and Quinn and Brittany heard her that time. They came over as quickly as they could and positioned themselves on the other side of the Latina.

'Rachel, what's happening?' Quinn asked, Brittany just looking scared.

'I don't know, she's sweating and I cant wake her up.' Rachel was incredibly panicked at this point, 'is this normal?'

'Yeah, pretty much. Small things change depending on what she's dreaming about but most of the time it's all the same.' Quinn gave a sad smile, as the Latina began to speak again.

'Qu…Quinn.' She whispered. All three girls looking shocked as her teeth started to chatter.

'She's so cold,' Brittany informed them, putting her hand on the brunette's forehead.

'Not for long,' Quinn said, as she moved past Brittany to get under the cover's besides Santana, and then whispered in her ear; 'Just hang on okay, you'll wake up soon.' She wrapped her arms around her, pulling her in close, and then looked at the other two girls. 'You guys should get some sleep, I've got her.' She smiled at them.

'Are you sure Quinn, we can sta..' Rachel began.

'No, it's fine, go in Brit's bed and sleep.' They nodded and did as the blonde asked, falling asleep within minutes, as Quinn sat and held Santana in her arms.


	22. Chapter 22

**You Said My Name**

Her eyes shot open. Frantically looking around the room and just about to run, like before, but then she felt arms around her. The alarm clock next to her was flashing with the time; three am. 'Quinn?' She whispered, the blonde had fallen asleep with her head resting on the headboard, she was going to have a killer neck ache in the morning.

'Santana?' Her voice was rough, full of sleep as she opened her eyes and tried to focus. 'You okay?' She asked, but then felt the smaller girl shaking in her arms and she was awake. 'Hey, it's okay, you're okay.' She smiled down at her, the brunette hugging the arm that Quinn had placed across her stomach, bringing it up to rest just under her chin.

'He was here again Q.' She cried, staring out into the darkness, Quinn feeling the tears dripping down onto her arm. Santana quickly wiped them away with her free hand and placing it back under the warmth of the covers.

'No he wasn't, I promise, it was just a dream.' She kissed her head through her hair, assuring her everything was alright and pulling her in tighter.

'But it's,' she sniffed, 'it was so real.'

'I know,' Quinn could hear sadness in her own voice now, staring out into the room just as Santana was doing. 'You know you said my name,' Quinn informed her, feeling her sit up. Santana flicked on the bedside lamp, trying her best not to wake up the others. Quinn saw her face with the light shining on one side of it. Her hair was a mess and she looked drained, like these dreams were somehow sucking the life out of her, but Quinn couldn't take her eyes off of her.

'I did?' She questioned, looking confused as Quinn nodded, taking the brunette's hand in her own and running her finger across it. 'I don't think I've ever said someone's name before?' She thought back. 'I didn't even say Brit's name when she was helping last year.'

'It's not the first time either, the night Rachel found out was the first time, but I think we're up to three now.' Quinn smiled.

'Wow, erm, I don't really know what that means.' She smiled weakly, noticing how tired Quinn looked. She cleared her throat and changed the subject. 'You know if you keep trying to stay up all night to look after me you're going to look just as bad.' Quinn laughed.

'I know, but to be honest I don't care.' She smiled.

'Thanks Q, really.' Santana looked into her green eyes, saw how gloomy they looked, and she couldn't help but feel responsible.

'Don't mention it.' She grinned back, and then they heard;

'No, no, not the ducks..' Laughing silently, they turned around to see Brittany rolling over.

'Looks like you're not the only one having a bad dream tonight S.'

'Oh god, Brittany and her ducks.' Santana shook her head and then Quinn turned back to her.

'Come on, lets try for sleep shall we. We can talk to the guys in the morning, you might need to explain to Rachel.' Santana looked scared.

'Shit, she saw again?' Biting her bottom lip as she turned the light back out.

'Yeah, but she's cool, she tried to wake you up but..'

'Yeah I know.' Santana looked down, playing with the bed sheets.

'Come here.' Quinn pulled her back into the same position as before, arms around Santana's stomach, but this time she placed her head on the pillow and slept.


	23. Chapter 23

**Berry, Are You Insane?**

The alarm clock shocked them all awake at; 'Six thirty!' Santana groaned, 'Berry are you insane?' She smacked the top of it, causing the horrendous buzzing to stop. Quinn rolled over beside her and made the same groaning noise as Rachel came out of the bathroom. 'What the hell, why are you up?' Santana squinted at the small amount of sunlight peeking through the curtains.

'Good morning to you to Santana.' She was fully clothed, hair perfect. 'And my day starts at six, I reset the alarm for you guys. Is it still too early?' She looked confused.

'Damn straight it's too fricken early!' And then she felt a pillow collide gently with her face, Quinn rolling back over to face her.

'Please, it's very early, you don't have to shout.' She grimaced as Santana threw the pillow back at her.

'Sorry Q, blame man-hands over there.'

'Well,' Rachel interrupted, 'now that we're all awake, who would like a herbal tea to kick start their day?'

'Oh god,' Quinn cried out playfully, Santana elbowing her in the ribs. 'This is your fault Lopez.'

'Shut it will you, I'd love one.' She was being sarcastic, but she did really want something to drink.

'What kind would you like?' Santana snorted.

'I have no idea, surprise me.' Rachel jumped up and went over to the kettle, just as Brittany was crawling up onto their bed.

'Morning B.'

'Hey.' she sounded sad.

'What's wrong Brit?' Quinn asked, sitting up next to Santana.

'All of the ducks are gone.' Santana and Quinn looked at each other, Rachel glancing at them over her shoulder.

'It was just a dream Brit, the ducks are fine.' Santana assured her. And just like that, with one reassuring word from the brunette, a smile was back on the blonde's face. Quinn couldn't help but laugh, as Rachel walked back over with four cups of herbal tea.

'This isn't actually bad,' Santana said as she sipped her tea, Quinn nodding in agreement. They were all sitting on the balcony looking down over New York. Rachel still couldn't believe that they had actually made it.

'So, Santana,' She said after a few minutes, and Santana knew what was coming. 'What was your dream about last night?' Santana put her cup down on the table.

'It was,' she paused, 'it was pretty much the same as every other night. Some nights I actually flash back and others I'm in the present, but they're with me. If that makes sense?'

'Yeah it does.' Rachel smiled, the Latina smiling back. 'What was it last night?' Santana sighed.

'He was standing at the foot of the bed. You guys were all there but you didn't wake up when I screamed.' Quinn put one hand on Santana's knee, the other one reaching up to rub her own neck. 'Sore Q?' She smiled.

'Yeah, thanks by the way.' She grinned at the brunette who held her hands up in defence.

'Hey, don't blame me. You're choice.' She put her hands down into her lap, taking Quinn's as she did so and holding on. Rachel saw this and decided to ask another question.

'How come Quinn is the only one you acknowledge?'

'What do you mean?' Brittany asked, setting her own cup down on the table.

'I just mean that we were all there, you, me, and Quinn. So how comes she didn't say our names?' Santana shot her an evil glance, but she could see her point.

'Honestly,' She replied, 'I have no idea. Maybe because I've had more contact with Quinn, sharing a room you know.'

'Uh-huh,' Rachel said, convinced something else was happening here. 'Well, we don't want to be late for breakfast so you two should probably go and get ready.' She jumped up and they all followed her back into the room.

'See you down there guys,' Brittany called, and then they were back in the hall.

'That was..' Quinn started.

'Weird.' Santana finished.

'Definitely.' She grinned, and then liked arms with Santana as they walked slowly back up to their room.


	24. Chapter 24

**Okay, I saw the Glee live tour today at the O2 arena in London, and OMG! it was so fantastic!**

**Amber riley killed Aint no way, and river deep is my all time favourite glee song.**

**Blaine just needs to join the new directions already, and then duet with santana, i think that would be eipc!**

**(Like any of you really care about my silly glee fantasies but i'm telling you anyways!)**

**Here is the next installment of Restless...**

* * *

><p><strong>Give Me A Minute<strong>

The next few days pretty much went on the same. Santana still had nightmares, although with Quinn there next to her when she woke up, she didn't feel nearly as scared. The Saturday of round one of National's rolled around quickly. Santana hadn't joined in with the rehearsals, so she had to sit out, but it was worth it to watch everyone else perform. She finally appreciated how great everyone was by watching things from the other side. They were awaiting the results eagerly afterwards, and they all ran over together when the top ten list was placed. They ranked 8th. They were moving on. Mr Schu was so happy, and proud, of everyone, so he decided to take them out for some food. Hotel meals every night were getting a bit boring, so he thought it would be a nice break for everyone. 'Okay, grab your jackets and meet back here in ten okay?' He shouted, as they all disbanded to their various floors to get what they needed.

'Oh my God!' Quinn closed the door behind her as she and Santana entered the room, spinning on her heels to face the Latina. 'That was so amazing!' She beamed, but before she could say anything else, the brunette crashed into her, pulling her into the tightest hug in the world.

'That was incredible, you were awesome Q!' She felt the blonde hug back, 'You guys completely killed it.' She pulled away, smiling madly into Quinn's eyes. And then something odd happened. Quinn lent in towards her, and planted a kiss on her lips. It was gentle, and intimate, and completely unexpected. The blonde pulled back slowly, an emotion resembling fear and confusion plastered across the face of the brunette. 'What was that?' She whispered, Quinn blushing slightly.

'I…' She swallowed. 'I just really wanted to kiss you.' She smiled, casting her eyes to the floor as Santana processed her thoughts. Quinn wasn't gay, was she? But then all of the thoughts were clouded out by Santana initiating another kiss. This one was longer and more electric, running her hand through flowing blonde hair as she felt hands grip her waist. After a few more moments they parted, Santana biting her bottom lip whilst she studied the blonde's reaction.

'What was that for?' Quinn asked, Santana shrugging.

'I wanted to kiss you again.' She grinned, and then they remembered they had to be back down in the lobby in ten minutes. Which was about fifteen minutes ago. 'Shit, we gotta go.' She grabbed both their jackets from where they were slung over the bed and pulling Quinn by her hand they fled the room towards the elevators. When they finally reached the lobby, they found only two glee clubbers waiting for them.

'Brit? Rachel? Where is everyone?' Quinn walked over to them, not realising she was dragging Santana by the hand. Rachel raised an eyebrow as they strode over, Quinn quickly noticing her glance down so she released the brunettes hand.

'They went ahead, we said we would wait for you guys so you didn't get lost.' Brittany informed them.

'Thanks B,' Santana smiled at her.

'What took you guys so long anyway?'

'Oh, just lost track of time.' Quinn said, looking at Santana and trying not to smile.

'Right,' Rachel said, 'so shall we?' The girls nodded, allowing the small brunette to lead them out of the hotel. The air was cool. They felt it blowing against their faces as they walked into it, the only relief coming from turning a corner, as they followed the girls to thee restaurant. Quinn desperately wanted to grab onto Santana's hand. She didn't know if it was because of all the time they had spent together, or getting to know this new side of her friend that had brought the feelings out. Maybe they had always been there? She saw Santana looking at her as they walked through the chilled night, and smiled. She was thankful that the brunette returned the smile, but then a loud crash brought them back to reality. Santana stopped in her tracks, seemingly paralysed at the suddenness of it. Quinn stopped shortly after, turning to look at her, Brittany and Rachel doing the same a few moments later. 'Santana?' Quinn walked up to her and reached out her hand, the Latina shrinking back.

'Please, don't,' She looked up at the blonde, fear running through her eyes, 'don't touch me.' Quinn nodded, turning to the others.

'Is everything okay?' Rachel called, worried looks on both of their faces.

'I don't know yet.' Quinn smiled weakly at them before turning her gaze back to Santana. 'Can you guys go ahead, tell Mr Schu we're not coming.'

'But, what do we say if they ask why?'

'Just say Santana felt ill again so we stayed at the hotel.' The brunette was standing with her arms by her sides, fists clenched almost painfully as her long hair was blown around her face.

'Okay, we'll see you guys later. Text us at some point, okay Q?'

'Yeah, thanks guys.' She looked at them one last time before they turned another corner and headed for the restaurant. Quinn then took a step closer to her friend. 'What can I do?' She whispered, Santana just shook her head.

'Nothing, just,'

'Give you a minute.' The blonde finished for her.

'Yeah,' Santana smiled, as a series of small shakes rocked her body. She moved her arms up to her chest, gripping herself tightly as she backed slowly up to a nearest wall. 'What was that Q, the noise?'

'Oh, erm I think a trash can fell over.'

'Okay, one…. two….. Three. ' Santana inhaled and exhaled slowly, the pressure of the wall at her back helping her feel less exposed. After counting to ten she pushed away from the wall, and moved to stand in front of Quinn.

'You okay?' She asked gently.

'Yeah, loud, sudden noises,' She laughed, 'kind of flip me out.' Looking down she kicked her feet on the concrete.

'I noticed,' Quinn tried to make light of the situation, for Santana's sake, but she was still really concerned about her. She then reached out her hand to the brunette, who tentatively took it. 'You're still shaking.'

'Yeah, happens.' She looked back up at Quinn. 'I have some pills, I can take if it gets bad. They're in the pocket of my bag, you know if you ever need..'

'Yeah I got it. Do you need one now?' Santana shook her head.

'Maybe, maybe later.' She smiled, the shaking evident through her voice. Timid and very un-Santana.

'Okay, so, back to the hotel? Santana smiled, Quinn lacing their fingers together tighter as she led the brunette back to their room.


	25. Chapter 25

**These Are Really Strong**

'So,' They were almost at their door when Quinn broke the silence, hands still linked but Santana's eyes hardly left the floor. 'What are we doing S?' She stopped when they reached their door, turning the brunette to look at her.

'We're walking back to the room.' Santana stated, but knowing what the blonde was really referring to.

'Come on, you know what I mean.'

'Yeah I..' she sighed, 'I like you, Quinn. And I don't know if I need to be institutionalised or what, but I think you like me back.'

'I do, like you. So I just want to know what we're doing?' The blonde reached around Santana, placing the key card in and then opening the door. Santana walked in backwards, pulling the blonde with her.

'What do you want to do?' She asked, as Quinn closed the door and flipped the light on.

'I think,' she paused, watching the smaller girl take off her jacket and sling it over the chair. 'I think I want to take you out on a date.' Santana chuckled.

'Like, dinner and a movie?' She sat gently on her bed as Quinn sat opposite on hers.

'Yeah,' Santana laughed, 'what's so funny?'

'And just how do you think we're going to swing that? With the entire glee club here?'

'I don't know, we can think of something. All I do know,' She got up and stood in front of the brunette, who looked up at her with big brown eyes, 'is that I want to get to know you Santana. Properly.' She smiled, leaning down and kissing her on the forehead.

'Why?' Santana asked as the blonde straightened herself, and then looked at her with a confused expression.

'Because you're an interesting person Santana, you're worth getting to know.' The brunette reached up for Quinn's hand, taking it in her own as she gently kissed her knuckles.

'Thanks Q.'

'Yeah, now how about we try for sleep?'

'It's only like,' She crawled over the bed to reach the clock on the table, 'it's only eight thirty.'

'And?' Quinn got her bathroom bag and walked towards the door. 'Something tells me you'll be keeping me up later anyway.' She grinned, closing the door as Santana smiled to herself.

'Not in a good way!' She shouted afterwards.

Quinn came out of the bathroom a while later, finding the light off but she could see that Santana had changed already. Her clothes were thrown in various places, Quinn shaking her head as she picked them up and put them on the chair with her jacket. She also found that the Latina had crawled into her bed, obviously still freaked out from earlier, so Quinn didn't mind. She liked being close to her, eve if it meant she wasn't going to have a good nights sleep. She slowly lifted the covers and slipped under them. Santana was facing the other way so she couldn't really tell if she was sleeping or not. Not was the answer, as soon as Quinn was comfy she felt cold hands wrap around her stomach. 'San, you're freezing.'

'Shit, sorry.' She whispered, and began pulling her hands back. But then she felt a pair of much warmer ones grabbing them.

'No I didn't mean that, let me warm you up.' She smiled down at the brunette, even though their faces were covered in darkness, and then held her hands between her own and her stomach, using her body heat to warm the Latina.

'Thanks.' Santana snuggled into her, exhaling heavily as she prepared for another hard night.

'Are you okay?' Quinn asked, she could feel the Latina shaking again.

'I, I'm fine.' She swallowed, the earlier incident having more of an effect on her than she thought. 'I don't know what's wrong with me tonight.'

'Maybe it's because it's getting closer, Monday you know?' Quinn knew that referring to the anniversary would make her tense up, but it was only just over a day away now.

'Yeah probably it.' Santana agreed, her arm involuntary tightening around the blonde due to more shaking.

'Okay, that's it.' Quinn lifted up the covers and switched on the light at the side of her bed. She looked back to the brunette who was trying to bury herself in the warmth of the bedclothes. 'I'm getting you a pill,' she got up. 'Why didn't you tell us about these earlier? They could have helped you more.' Quinn asked as she rooted through the side pocket of the Latina's bag.

'I try not.. not to take them.' She shivered, Quinn standing back up with a small orange container in her hands. She put them on the side and went into the bathroom for a glass of water, coming back moments later to find Santana sitting with her back up against the wall and her eyes closed. They opened when she felt Quinn sit back down on the bed and she watched her look over the container.

'These are really strong Santana.' She looked up at her.

'Which is why I try not to take them.' She smiled, breathing slowly as Quinn saw her fists clench again.

'San, you cant spend the whole night like that, you should take one.' The brunette nodded, 'yeah?'

'Yeah, okay.' Quinn popped open the lid, pouring one large oval shaped white pill and handing it to the smaller girl. She tentatively placed it in her mouth and lent her head back once more in an attempt to swallow it. Quinn handed her the water and watched her face screw up in discomfort as it went down her throat.

'Okay?' Quinn asked, pressing the lid back into place as Santana nodded.

'Yeah, ugh,' She was obviously frustrated with herself, 'I hate this feeling, this lack of control.' She looked down at her hands, still shaking she clenched them in an effort to make it subside. 'I'm still fucking shaking, I cant make it stop.' She closed her eyes, and then felt Quinn get back into bed beside her.

'It's okay S, it will take some time.' She tried to smile reassuringly, the Latina looking over at her unconvinced.

'It's been two years Q and I don't know if I could do this again.' She let a tear fall down her face as she smiled at the blonde, Quinn helping lower her back under the covers as the pill kicked in. She watched the Latina fall into sleep, however horrible and terrifying that sleep was going to be, and then laid down opposite her watching her face and her expressions. She wanted to be ready if Santana needed her.


	26. Chapter 26

**Stop Watching Me Sleep, It's Creepy**

Quinn woke up at seven the next morning. She had probably had the best nights sleep of the trip so far, all she needed to do now was dope Santana up every night before bed. She smiled at the thought, rolling over to find the brunette curled up next to her. The covers were right up over her head and her right fist was tightly clasped around the sheet, pulling it under her chin. Quinn sighed, pulling the covers off and sliding her legs over the edge of the bed. She then remembered that she forgot to text Rachel and Brittany last night. 'Shit.' She whispered as she flipped open her phone, two messages and one missed call. She selected their names from her phone book and quickly texted them at the same time. Simply saying that Santana was okay, asleep, and that she would see them at breakfast. She then exhaled, running her hands through her hair as she got up off of the bed and went into the shower. She emerged about half and hour later and then decided to watch some TV. She had a while before breakfast, and even though she was asleep, Quinn didn't want to leave Santana alone for too long. There was nothing on. News or stupid cartoons was about it, so in the end she decided just to sit, and think. She looked down at the brunette, who had released the duvet from her death grip and was lying on her back. She almost looked peaceful as Quinn lent her head back against the wall. She then lent over Santana slightly to push a strand of stray hair out of her eyes, whispering; 'What are we going to do San?'

'I know what you can do.' The Latina replied with her eyes still closed, making the blonde jump.

'Oh yeah,' Quinn panted, 'what's that?' The brunette opened her eyes and turned to her.

'Stop watching me sleep, it's creepy.' The blonde grinned, and then changed the subject.

'Are you coming to breakfast?'

'Yeah, I need a shower first though.' She said groggily, the pill had clearly not worn off yet.

'Okay, well you have half an hour so take your time.' She smiled, looking down at the smaller girl who proceeded to pull her into a kiss. 'You really want to do this? Me and you?'

'Yeah, I really do.' Santana smiled, releasing the blonde as she got up from the bed. Her top was screwed up at the back so Quinn got a flash of her scars as she walked into the bathroom. She still couldn't believe that they were real, that something like that had happened to one of her friends.

Santana let the hot water run over her. She couldn't think about anything except for the fact that she was kissing Quinn Fabray. She was actually falling for the prom queen. She could only imagine how the glee club would react with this new development, and they would have to tell them if it started getting serious. Brit wouldn't care, as she expected many of the girls wouldn't. But what about Sam and Puck? Puck was the father of Quinn's baby, and Sam had been dumped by the blonde on the very same trip she had hooked up with Santana. She said he was cool with the break up but he was a guy after all. If your girlfriend breaks up with you, only to start dating a woman the very next day, you're probably entitled to feel a bit pissed. Oh well, she would need to see what Quinn wanted, and then they could figure it all out. But right now she needed food. She turned off the taps and stepped out of the shower, her eyes immediately drawn to her scars. It was always the way though, the first thing she would see whenever she took her clothes off was the only thing in her life she truly wanted to forget. It was like the world slapping her in the face every time she looked down by reminding her of what was done to her. She dried herself off and slipped on jeans and a shirt, and walking back out she was met by a smiling blonde. 'Hey.'

'Hey yourself. Ready?' Santana nodded, taking the blonde by the hand as she stood up to join her. 'We should probably talk about this before we go.'

'Talk about what?' Santana looked at her with confused eyes. Quinn lifted up their joint hands and she got it. 'Oh, that.' She smiled, letting the blonde lead her back to the bed.

'Yeah, that.' She giggled. 'What did you want to do?'

'I don't really mind Q, I mean people already know I'm, you know.' Quinn nodded. 'So this is your choice and I'll support that.' Santana smiled.

'Well, I mean I don't know. You think they would care?'

'I think trouty might.' Santana said honestly, 'and I don't really want him to kick my ass.' She laughed.

'San, come on, he's not like that.'

'Okay, then what about drama. Do you think they can handle this right before the nationals final?'

'I guess not.' Quinn admitted. 'Why don't we run it past Brit and Rachel first? See what they think?'

'Sound like a plan.' Santana smiled, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek but the blonde moved her head, their lips colliding as she gently clasped the side of the brunette's face. Quinn pulled away, allowing her hand to rest in the Latina's lap as she played with her fingers.

'So, breakfast?' She grinned, the brunette laughing as she hauled her up and headed for the door.


	27. Chapter 27

**Be Quiet Or Get Out**

Rehearsal started at ten that morning, like most others, and Santana was determined to join in. No way was she missing another performance so she just had to convince everyone that she was well enough. At least now Rachel knew what was going on so she might be more inclined to stick up for the Latina. 'Are you sure you want to do this?' Mr Schu asked as they all walked to the rehearsal hall.

'Yes, Mr Schu for the hundredth time I'm sure.' She smiled at him, Quinn by her side who would occasionally brush her arm letting her know she was there if she needed anything.

'Okay, but if you feel weird or anything I want you to tell me. I can excuse you and no one needs to know why.' He placed his hand gently on her shoulder. At least she didn't flinch at his touch, during the first few months after it happened any man touching her would set her off. She was happy she had over come one messed up thing in her life.

'Oh don't worry Mr Schu, you'll be the first to know.' She smiled at Quinn, nodding in approval as they rounded the corner into the large room.

'Alright guys here is the second set list, I think you'll all be very happy.' Rachel smiled as she saw Finn's name and her own name at the top of the list for leads. Mercedes also beamed when Mr Schu told her she was getting a solo. They went over staging whilst Brittany and Mike went through various dance routines and then they started putting it into practice. After an hour of practice they stopped for a break, the boys chatting at the edge of the stage with Mr Schu, whilst the girls messed about on it. Brittany was dancing with Santana in the middle of the stage as the rest watched them trying out some new moves. But as luck would have it, lightening was about to strike twice. There were some maintenance workers fixing the lights that hung from the ceiling of the hall. One of the wires was cut accidentally, causing it to fall to the floor. All of the glee club jumped around as it crashed into the floor at the back of the stage, but then they shook it off with nervous laughter. Everyone was looking around at each other, because rehearsal was clearly over, and then Quinn saw Santana.

'Shit, loud noise,' She whispered, and then looked to Brittany. Santana had gone stiff in her arms, eyes fixed to the floor.

'Santana?' Brittany bent down, looking up into her eyes. 'San you okay?'

'Quinn..' She whispered, the blonde running over. Everyone's eyes were now fixed on them, Mr Schu thinking about how to help them.

'I'm here, it's okay.' She smiled, Santana looking up at her. She fixed her eyes to Quinn's, looking at only one thing helped, and she couldn't think of anything better to stare at. 'You're okay.' Quinn whispered, Smiling.

'What's wrong with her?' Finn asked, all the boys and Mr Schu now with the girls on the stage.

'Nothing, she's fine.' Quinn called over her shoulder, not breaking eye contact.

'What was the noise?' Santana asked, just like before.

'A light,' Rachel informed her, 'fell from the ceiling.'

'One.. two.. three…. Four…' She exhaled and closed her eyes.

'What the hell is she doing?' Sam asked, as he, Puck and Finn walked closer.

'Nothing.' Quinn repeated, 'not back up.' She glared at them, stopping them in their tracks momentarily.

'Is she shaking?' Puck asked, 'Because a light fell from the ceiling?'

'Knock it off Puckerman.' Mr Schu said, walking over to the girls. 'Santana, what can I do?' He asked, putting his hand on her shoulder, which probably wasn't the best idea.

'No, no, no, no.' She repeated the word over and over, backing away from everyone, including she couldnt let men touch her sometimes.

'San, honey it's okay, it's just us.' Quinn pleaded, stepping towards her but this only caused her to back up further.

'What the hell man?' Puck was watching her, confused.

'Yeah, she's flipping out.'

'Finn, Puck you are not helping!' Rachel shouted at them, walking up beside Quinn, Brittany not far behind her.

'Brit, did anything like this happen last year?' Quinn asked, watching as Santana's fists clasped together tighter and tighter with every moment.

'Erm once, I think. Panic attack, the counting isn't working.'

'Santana you need to look at me, can you do that?' Quinn stepped closer, no one else followed but the were running out of stage. Santana slowly lifted her head, her body visibly shaking as she did so.

'No, no,' she repeated again, 'Too many.'

'What?'

'Too many people, there's, there's so many people.' She frantically looked around, scanning all of the concerned, and freaked out, faces around her. 'Q, Q, they're gonna hurt me, I know they will, they..'

'Santana! Listen to me, no one here is going to hurt you, alright. We love you Santana so I need you to calm down. Can you do that for me?' Santana shook her head. She was too far gone, she just had to ride it out now. It would stop eventually, they always did.

'Why does she think we're going to hurt her?' Mercedes asked.

'Just, leave it okay. We can explain later.' Rachel said, turning back to everyone. A few of them nodded, knowing when to back off, but Puck on the other hand, didn't know when to quit.

'Come on, she probably just wants some attention. Mr Schu you didn't give her a solo this time either.'

'Puckerman say one more word and I swear to God I'll throw you out myself.' Quinn gritted her teeth as she glared at him.

'Oh please,'

'Puck, I'm with Quinn. Be quiet or get out.' Mr Schu had never looked more serious as he turned away from the boys and back to Santana. She had backed up as far as she could, the edge of the stage right behind her.

'Mr Schu, we need to calm her down, she might fall.'

'I know Quinn, but I've never dealt with this before, and neither have you so how do we do that?'

'I don't know, Brittany.' Quinn waved her over as she treaded cautiously towards them, not waning to add to Santana's distress. 'What happened last time?'

'One…. two…. three….' Santana had started counting from the beginning again, her left hand striking her side in between each number, clearly not helping.

'Last time, her parents found her in the corner of her room, pretty much like that.'

'How did you help?' Mr Schu asked.

'I, I didn't.'

'What?' Quinn looked at her.

'I didn't help. I sat in her doorway for three hours and watched her until she stopped on her own. I remember the doctor telling me that when it gets that bad, she has to do it by herself.'

'Well that's, unhelpful.' Quinn sighed, 'but she cant stay here we need to get her back to the room.'

'How?' Mr Schu asked, 'She certainly wont let me touch her.'

'Q,' Brittany looked at her, 'I think she'll let you.'

'Why me?'

'Come on.' Brittany looked at her and she worked it out.

'Okay, here goes.' She exhaled and began to walk towards the Latina. 'Santana.'

'Quinn?' She looked up, her eyes squinting as if she was trying to make out her shape.

'Yeah, it's Quinn.' She smiled. 'I'm gonna come over to you now okay?' Santana nodded, a single tear falling down her face, Quinn taking several small steps towards her. Quinn could see her arms tensing, her small frame vibrating madly as she watched the blonde walk over.

'Seriously, what is going on?' Puck spoke again.

'What did we say Puck, once more and you leave.' Mr Schu pointed to the door. 'Go, now.' He began to move, Santana seeing this she started to move sideways, away from him.

'No Puck, stay there.' Quinn called, throwing her arm out and pointing towards him.

'What? Go, stay, make up your damn minds.'

'Just stay there and be quiet, the movement is freaking her out.'

'Too many people.' She looked into the blonde's eyes. 'Q, there's way too many people in here.'

'I know, sweetie I know.' Quinn smiled again. 'That's why me and you are going to get out of here, back up to the room. Would that be okay if we did that?'

'Yeah, yeah, I cant.' She inhaled, 'I cant breathe in here.' She put one hand over her stomach, tears running down her face now.

'I know, I'm feeling a little stuffy too.' Quinn agreed, now only a few feet from her. 'Can you take my hand?' Quinn extended her left hand to the Latina, who after looking up at her for a moment, latched onto it fiercely. She pulled Quinn into her, shaking violently as the blonde stroked her hair.

'It's okay, it's just me okay.' She felt the brunette nod, but the something moved and Santana saw it over the blonde's shoulder. She let out a small scream, jumping out of Quinn's embrace and scrambling across the floor. 'Santana!'

'No! Quinn he's coming tomorrow, he's here, he's going to do it again.' She screwed herself up in a ball on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest as she plated her face down on them. Quinn looked back behind her and found Puck sitting on the edge of the stage.

'Puck I told you not to move!' He shrugged, the blonde looking back to the Latina. The rest of the glee club all had wide eyes, the confusion and emotion playing on their faces told Quinn that most of them had worked out what happened for themselves. Not the details of course but they had a general idea.

'Santana, no one is going to hurt you. He isn't here. It's not going to happen again. Trust me okay.' Quinn smiled again as she looked over the brunette. A cold sweat covering her from head to toe.

'Okay, yeah, okay.' She nodded her head frantically, reaching her hand up to Quinn.

'Come on honey,' She stood up, pulling the Latina with her and placing one arm under her shoulders, holding most of her body weight up. 'Mr Schu, we're..'

'Yeah, go okay. Talk to me later.' Quinn nodded and smiled, the smaller girl still shaking at an alarming rate as they began to walk out of the room. It took them a while, but after the doors swung closed, everyone was asking questions.


	28. Chapter 28

**After All That You Still Want To Date Me?**

'Santana, lay down okay.' Quinn spoke softly, helping the Latina through the door and gently sitting her down on the bed. Quinn then left her to turn the light on.

'Q….Quinn!' Santana called.

'It's okay, I'm here.' She ran back over, sitting herself down on the bed next to the shaking brunette and taking her hands in her own.

'I'm.. Q, I'm so sorry..' She started to cry again, the blonde pulling her in closer into a tight hug.

'You have nothing to be sorry for San.' She stroked the back of her hair. 'I promise you everything will be alright.' She was sobbing uncontrollably now, Quinn desperately trying to calm her down.

'But.. I… I … freaked out…. I,' She sobbed, 'they all… they all saw, and…. now, now I…' She choked up, grabbing a hold of Quinn tighter.

'Shhh, it's all okay. No body is going to make a big deal out of this alright.'

'You don't know that Quinn! They'll call me a… a freak and…. The whole school will know…. Everyone will know and..'

'Santana,' Quinn pulled away from her and looked into her tear stained face. 'You need to calm down.'

'I, I don't know how…. I cant… cant make it go away.' She screwed her eyes up, pulling her knees to her chest as she scrambled away from Quinn to put her back against the wall.

'Do you want a pill?' Quinn asked, not making an effort to move towards her.

'No, no.. I don't.' She swallowed, 'I don't want to go…. I don't, I cant go back there, I cant fall asleep.' She looked up at the blonde, tears glistening the surface of her green eyes. 'Please don't make me go back there Q.' She cried again, tears spilling down her cheeks and onto her arms below. 'They're always in my head, they hurt me and they wont stop…' her voice was becoming quieter every second as the blonde watched on, not sure when or if to intervene. 'They'll never stop.' Quinn finally crawled over to her, gently placing a hand on her knee, the brunettes head shooting upwards until their eyes locked.

'Santana, I will not make you go back there okay.' Santana nodded, not wanting to revisit any of her nightmares any time soon. 'What do you want to do?'

'I need to sit, sit here and just work through it.' She said, a shudder snapping her eyes closed once more as she rode it out. Quinn couldn't hide her tears any more, watching her friend, no more than her friend, break apart in front of her.

'Okay, I'm gonna stay right here in case you need anything.'

'Thanks Q.' She lent her head back and to the side looking at the blonde.

'What?' The blonde smiled at her slightly, watching the smaller girls eyes study her face.

'You're really beautiful. Like, not fair on everyone else kind of beautiful.' Quinn blushed, the abrupt change of subject throwing her off slightly. But she though doing with it would be a distraction for the Latina, and help her calm down.

'Thank you Santana, that's very sweet.' The brunette grinned.

'Yeah well, I wants in those pants of yours don't I.' The Latina joked, causing them both to burst out laughing. Santana wasn't laughing for long though, another shake contracting the muscles in her arms and legs. Her stomach felt like someone was tying it in knots and all she really wanted to do was thrown up.

'Santana?' Quinn saw her turning a pale shade of green on top of her normally tanned skin, her body tense and her face contort.

'I, I think I'm gonna hurl.' She said, without opening her eyes.

'Okay, erm,' she scanned the room, 'no trash can, 'can you make it to the bathroom?' The brunette opened her eyes painfully but nodded, the blonde moving to take her arm. Another flinch stopped the blonde in her tracks. 'Santana, it's only me.'

'I know Q. Shit I know.' She brought her hands in front of her, squeezing them tightly together as she tried to control the shaking. And after a few moments she reached out for the blonde.

'Come on,' Quinn said gently, taking the brunette's arm as she let her to the bathroom. Her muscles felt tight, and Santana looked exhausted. The shaking would come and go, it momentarily stopped each time for her to throw up into the toilet, but then it would resume sometimes worse than before. Quinn didn't leave her side for one second, holding her hair and just being there with her, when all of a sudden Santana was overcome by the worst shaking Quinn had ever seen.

'Q! Qu..inn.. Ahh,' She looked desperately at the blonde as all of her joints locked, leaving her paralysed on the bathroom floor with her head and back leaning on the bath tub. Every time she would spasm involuntary her body was rocked against the tub and the floor, more unnecessary pain Quinn thought, so she quickly jumped behind her, holding her in her arms. Santana's teeth clenched as Quinn watched the tears fall from her eyes, every minute killing her because she could do nothing but watch.

'It's okay,' She whispered, stroking her hair and planting selective kisses on her head, 'you're okay. It'll be over soon.'

'It… it.. Hu..hurts..' She gasped, Quinn squeezing her eyes closed, unable to stand the pain she was going through.

'I know, baby I know.' She shushed her, and comforted her, because it was all she could do. Until finally, ten minutes later, the longest ten minutes of Quinn's life, she felt the brunette relax. 'You okay?' Quinn said after a few more minutes.

'Yeah,' she breathed, 'I think so.' She smiled up at the blonde sadly. 'So, after all that you still want to date me?' She grinned, the covered in cold sweat and still on the bathroom floor. And as Quinn looked down at her, there was only one answer in her mind.

'Hell yes I want to date you.' She smiled back down at her, the brunette hugging her arm tightly as they sat in a comfortable silence for a while longer. 'Come on,' Quinn started to stand, taking the brunette with her.

'What are we doing?' Santana asked, painfully standing, but at least she could do it on her own now.

'We're putting you to bed because you're exhausted.' Santana smiled, sleep would be great right now. She wasn't sure how much she would get but her body was in serious need of a shut down.

'Okay.' She agreed, the blonde taking her hand as she led her to the bed. Once the brunette was lying down and trying to drift off, Quinn sat next to her.

'So, it's eight-ish, dinner time so I was going to go and talk to the guys all at once. If you want me to?' She stroked her hair, still sticky from her sweat but the blonde didn't care.

'Shit, I almost forgot about them.' She smiled awkwardly. 'And I wasted a whole day for you Q, I'm sorry.'

'No way okay, I love spending my Sunday's sprawled out on the bathroom floor.' She giggled, the brunette smiling back at her.

'What do you want me to tell them?' Santana sighed.

'Everything, not much point trying to hide it any more.'

'You sure?'

'Yeah.' She looked up at the blonde. 'Thank you.'

'No problem.' She flashed her teeth in a grin before she got back up off of the bed. 'I wont be more than an hour okay, and my phone is on.'

'Got it mum, go eat something already.' Quinn shook her head, laughing in the meantime as she walked out off the room.


	29. Chapter 29

**Thirty-Three Minutes**

'Quinn!' Kurt called, seeing the blonde walking over to their large table.

'Where the hell have you been, no one's seen you since this morning?' Mercedes pointed out, all of them with worried looks on their faces as she took a seat next to Mr Schu.

'Is she okay?' Brittany asked.

'No, she's not Brit.' Quinn smiled at her sadly, Brittany returning the same look. 'I just got her to sleep. We've been in the bathroom all day whilst the threw most of her insides up.' The blonde looked like she was about to burst into tears, the day almost as exhausting for her as it was for the Latina. 'She wouldn't stop shaking.'

'Right, but would you please explain what is up with her?' Puck said from the end of the table.

'She completely went off on one at rehearsal earlier, what's the deal? We knew she was sick but that was just weird.' Finn looked around at everyone nodding in agreement.

'Brit,' Artie looked at her, 'has Santana always had, problems?' He asked.

'No,' the dancer replied, 'but I think she would want Quinn to explain.' The blondes shot each other another smile, Artie nodding and then everyone focused on Quinn.

'She is sick, in a manner of speaking, but it's more than that.' She exhaled. 'So, Brittany knew from a while back. I only found out at the beginning of this trip because she woke up screaming in the middle of the night. And Rachel has know for a couple days now, accidentally walking in on one of her nightmares.'

'So she has nightmares?' Tina was listening contently, as were all of the rest of the glee clubbers.

'The nightmares are part of it. She has panic attacks and loud noises, like the light falling earlier, can set her off.'

'So, what happened?' Kurt asked, watching as Quinn exhaled. Mr Schu placed a comforting hand on her shoulder assuring her it was okay, and then she began.

'So about two years ago.' She stopped.

'What is it?' Lauren asked.

'Tomorrow, two years ago tomorrow is when it happened.' She swallowed. 'Santana was on vacation with her parents, Seattle, in the city. She was walking to her hotel and she was attacked. Two men pulled a knife on her and, well, it was really bad.' Quinn wiped her nose, the tears flowing now. Brittany and Rachel also finding it hard not to clam up, having seen Santana's pain up close and personal. 'I've seen the scars, so has Brittany. She wouldn't go into much detail but if you saw them, you wouldn't ask.'

'That bad?' Puck asked, even he looked like he could let out a tear.

'Worse.' Brittany replied, not breaking eye contact with Quinn.

'She has trouble, around this time of the year, the memory seems to be heightened and these things happen. Like she's forced to replay that night in her head, every time she closes her eyes.'

'That's why Santana tried to fix the room assignments Mr Schu, remember?' Brittany looked at him as he though back. 'I already knew about everything and she was so upset nationals were this time of the year because she knew what was going to happen.'

'Brittany, if I knew I would have roomed you together, of course I would but she didn't tell me.'

'I know Mr Schu, but she didn't want anyone to know.'

'She thinks people will call her weak, or pathetic. She's afraid people wont see her like they did before.' Quinn informed them.

'That's, that's stupid.' Finn looked at the blonde. 'She was attacked, and fourteen years old, that wasn't her fault.'

'But she thinks it makes her look like she needs protecting, afraid that she wouldn't be tough, cold Santana Lopez any more.'

'Yeah, and please can we all keep quiet about this when we get back to school.' Rachel added, seeing the others nod as Quinn smiled at her.

'What about the performance Quinn?' Mr Schu turned to her. 'Do you think, honestly, that she can perform?'

'Honestly Mr Schu, I think she needs to see someone. Like a professional someone, not just Ms Pillsbury. Today was the worst I've seen her and she was so tired when I left her. These panic attacks take everything form her and I don't know how many more she'll be able to pull through.' She wiped away another tear. 'So no, I don't think she can perform.'

'Santana might have something to say about that, she really doesn't want to miss anymore performances.' Artie pointed out.

'I know she does, but she'll understand that it's better if she doesn't.' Quinn breathed out heavily again, 'I'll talk to her later, or tomorrow. Whenever she wakes up.'

'Guys, I only saw a couple of her nightmares. The first one she dug her nails into her own palm drawing blood because she was so scared and the second one she felt as cold as a freezer. This is really bad and we need to try and help her.' Rachel spoke looking down at the table, not really wanting to see anyone's reaction.

'How can we do that?' Puck asked.

'Just not talking about it, I think, would be a start.' Quinn suggested. 'She felt embarrassed enough flipping out in front of everyone so I think we need to just shut up about it.'

'We can do that.' Mike smiled, the blonde nodding in his direction.

'And it would probably be best if you didn't sneak up on her, or grab her shoulders or anything like that. She's a bit jumpy at the moment.'

'Of course Quinn, we're all going to be here for her alright?' Mr Schu smiled at her, 'you need to let her know that.'

'Thanks Mr Schu.' She smiled back at him and then her pocket started playing the theme to Grey's Anatomy. She looked at the name on the screen and flipped open her phone immediately.

'Santana?' She sounded concerned, the glee club watching in anticipation. 'Santana, calm down. Sweetie, listen to me,' Quinn was almost shouting now, trying to get through to the Latina. 'Listen to me. Sit on the floor, in between the two beds with your back to the wall, can you do that for me? …. Good, okay now wait for me there. Don't move and I swear I'll be right up. Okay honey?' She hung up the phone, worry and tears in her eyes.

'Quinn what is it?' Mr Schu asked, standing with her.

'She woke up, damn it.' She looked at her watch. 'Thirty-three minutes.'

'Quinn it's because of tomorrow, she doesn't want to sleep.'

'I know Brit, she told me.' The blonde smiled thankfully as Quinn rushed back up to her room. 'I'll talk to you guys later.' She called back.

'Wow, that was..' Kurt began.

'Yeah, who would have thought?' Finn added. 'Santana is like the strongest person we know.'

'Also the bitchiest and meanest.' Mercedes reminded them.

'She wasn't always like that you know.' Brittany's small voice broke through the wall of chatter. 'She put up a wall. Ever since it happened. She would be mean and tough and hard, not because she wanted to, because she thought she had to.'

'She didn't want to get hurt again.' Sam realised for all of them. 'She didn't want to give anyone the chance to hurt her again.'

'Exactly.' Brittany nodded. 'She'll show you, the scars I mean, if you want to know how bad it was she'll show you the scars.' Everyone sat in silence for the rest of the meal, no one really sure what to do or say. They were all just trying to process this in their own way, especially how they would react the next time they saw the Latina.


	30. Chapter 30

**I Never Thought This Would Be Happening**

Quinn quietly turned the handle and pushed open the door to their room, not wanting to scare Santana. 'San?' She called quietly, clicking the door into place behind her and then stepping into the room. 'Santana?' She whispered, peering around the first bed. She spotted the Latina, and just like Quinn had told her to, she was sitting with her back to the wall in between the beds. 'Oh San,' She said sadly, sitting down opposite the small brunette. Her knees were up to her chest and her head leaning against one of the bedside tables. Tear lines were streaking her face, the bags under her eyes becoming more and more present every time Quinn saw her. The blonde crossed her legs as she sat, not trying to touch her or make any movement towards her. 'Are you okay?'

'No.' She sniffed, staring down, her eyes not moving.

'What happened?' The blonde whispered.

'The same God damn thing that always happens.' She moved her hand up to her face, running it across her forehead and through her hair, eventually holding on to the back of her neck. 'Every time I close my eyes Q,' She brought her hand back down. 'It happens all over again.'

'Yeah.' Quinn smiled gently as the Latina finally turned her eyes upwards. 'Do you think now might be a good time to take some more medication?' Santana sighed, letting out a small sob as she did so. 'I know you don't want to, but Santana, look at you.'

'A fucking mess huh?' Santana smiled.

'Very close to it.' Quinn returned the grin, holding her hand out to the Latina. Santana gratefully took it, Quinn hauling her up into a hug.

'I'm sorry I called you.' Santana whispered through a mass of blonde hair.

'It's okay, any time you need me I want you to call.' She pulled away and smiled. 'Even if it's the middle of the night, or during a thunder storm, I want you to call me.' Santana grinned, looking down and pushing her hair behind her ear.

'Thanks.' She said, blushing slightly. 'But did you eat anything?' Quinn shook her head.

'I was too busy explaining everything to the guys.' She was still holding the brunette's arms and she felt them tense, quickly trying to reassure her. 'But it's okay San, they get it. I promise no one is going to say anything.'

'Okay, so I had an idea?' Santana sat on one of the beds.

'Oh yeah?' Quinn replied, sitting opposite her.

'Well since I don't really feel like sleeping, and you need something to eat, why don't we go out tonight? Maybe find a burger van or something? Take a walk?' Santana hadn't looked up yet.

'Santana,' Quinn picked up her hand, causing her to look up. 'I never though you were such a romantic.' She grinned, almost laughing.

'Shut up blondie, is that a yes?' Quinn kissed her hand.

'Of course it's a yes. But I think you need a shower.'

'Yeah, you're definitely right about that.' She agreed, getting some clean jeans out of her suitcase along with a black top. 'I'll just be a sec.'

'Okay.' Quinn nodded in her direction, watching as the Latina closed the door and then she laid herself down on the bed. She exhaled loudly as she closed her eyes, thinking about everything. She was just about to go out on a date with Santana Lopez.

'Hey.' Santana was standing over her what seemed like a few moments later, 'You fell asleep.'

'Oh, sorry,' Quinn said, pulling herself up and stretching out her arms. 'You ready?'

'Yeah, lets go.'

* * *

><p>They slowly walked along the road that their hotel was in. It was a very long road and there was lots of traffic, taking in all of the night lights and evening pandemonium. Even at this late hour, people were still hurrying around, cars screeching and taxi cab's honking. And Quinn took the first opportunity she had to grab a hold of the Latina's hand. Quinn was in her platforms whilst Santana had on flats, the blonde easily and inch taller than Santana without shoes so the extra height made the Latina have to look up to meet her eyes. She simply smiled as she felt the blondes fingers lace with her own, kicking the pavement as they continued down the street. 'Look.' Quinn pointed. A small take away stall was lit up on the pavement, the smoke form cooking burgers and hotdogs wafting out above it.<p>

'You want one?' Santana asked, the blonde pulling her over indicating the answer was yes. 'Okay.' Santana muttered.

'Can I have one hotdog, no mustard, and Santana?' She turned to the smaller girl.

'Coffee.' The brunette replied, Quinn looking at her accusingly but ordering it anyways.

'And a coffee.' The man gave them what they ordered, but as Quinn went to get her purse Santana stopped her.

'No way, my idea, I'm paying.' She smiled, paying the man and then blowing the steam away from drink.

'Thanks.' Quinn said, as they were once again walking through the cold night. They eventually came across a bench, Santana pulling Quinn down with her so that they were huddled tightly together.

'So, nice night.'

'Okay San, so we're going for crappy small talk?' Santana smiled.

'Though I would break the ice,' she replied, looking into green eyes.

'Right.' The blonde giggle and looked out into the night. 'You know I never thought this would be happening, in like a million years.'

'I know what you mean,' Santana sipped her coffee, Quinn having finished her hotdog whilst they were still walking. 'She put her free hand over the blondes, her gaze on the night broken as she turned back to dark eyes. 'So what happened?'

'You happened.'

'What's that supposed to mean?' Santana laughed.

'You, Santana. I saw the real you and I fell for her.' Quinn blushed, speaking this openly with anyone was unusual for her, and now she was doing it with the girl who had been a pain in her ass for the past few years.

'So you fell for the weak, pathetic, crying mess? Oh how your standards have dropped Q.' She grinned, holding the coffee cup tightly in her hand.

'No, Santana I fell for the strong, secretive but genuine, emotional Latina. Who just so happens to be unbelievably gorgeous.' She winked, the brunette snuggling down into her side.

'You want some? It'll keep your hands warm.'

'Thanks.' Quinn took the drink, sipping it slowly as she let the warmth spread through her.

'What about you Quinn? All this time you were dealing with my shit, and I know your life isn't all that peachy. Anything going on?'

'Well, my dad has been weird since the whole getting pregnant thing.'

'Yeah I think I remember that.' Santana joked, lifting her head up and locking eyes with Quinn once more.

'I cant wait to see his reaction when he finds out I'm gay, let alone dating you Lopez.'

'Yeah, I'm probably not every parents dream.' She smiled, 'you think your dad will kick you out again, like he did before?'

'Never really thought about it. Never had to think about it until now.'

'Yeah, but Q I want you to know.' He lent on her elbow, resting it on the back of the bench as she faced the blonde. 'I've got your back okay, in whatever the hell happens, I've got your back.'

'I know you do.' The blonde nodded her head, as she lent in and pressed a small kiss onto the Latina's lips. They pulled away smiling, letting out sighs covered with nervous giggles, Santana checking her watch.

'Erm, Q,'

'Yeah?' Quinn had a concerned look on her face.

'I don't want to be a buzz-kill or anything, but its almost midnight.' After a few minutes the blonde realised what she was getting at.

'Oh, right.'

'Yeah and I kind of don't want to be wandering the streets on, you know, so would it be okay if we went back to the room?'

'Of course we can, come on.' Quinn smiled, linking her arm through Santana's as they walked back up the street to their hotel.


	31. Chapter 31

**Trust Me On This**

'Please just try Santana.' Quinn was watching the brunette pacing around the room, wearing nothing but shorts and a top. 'Try and get some sleep.' It was one am. The day Santana spent all week dreading had arrived and she hadn't sat still for a moment of it.

'No Quinn, I cant, I wont fall asleep today.' Quinn sighed.

'San, you have to sleep, your body has been through a lot and it needs to recuperate.'

'No!' She almost yelled, the blonde flinching slightly, but the look of terror that flashed through the Latina's eyes was enough for her to let it go.

'Santana, I know that you're scared. I know you don't want any more nightmares but you have to take the chance. It might be just like any other day.'

'But it's not just any other day Q.' Santana looked at her, the blonde staring right back. 'It's not like any other day.'

'Just please come and lay with me.' Her voice softer, the brunette finally tired of pacing so she did as Quinn asked. The brunette positioned herself under the covers, Quinn wrapping an arm around her shoulder whilst the other one rested gently over her stomach. She gently brushed her dark hair through her fingers as they both started out into the dimly lit room.

'Do you want to talk about it?' Quinn asked, expecting a bitter 'no' to be thrown back in her direction, but to her surprise, the brunette started talking.

'I can,' she swallowed. 'I can still remember it. Clear as day, like it was yesterday.' She exhaled, Quinn letting her take her time. 'Except for their fucking faces. If I had looked up sooner I would have seen them and I could have given the police something to go on.'

'Santana, you cant think like that, you we're in shock, your brain wasn't thinking that way when it happened.'

'I know, Q. The doctors told me this before, but I still…'

'What?'

'You know that every time I see a story on the news about some kid being knifed in the park, or on their way home from school, I think it's the same guys. And then maybe I find out that the kid died. I think about all the people crying for them and I think about what would have happened if I had just looked up sooner.' Quinn could feel the tears running down her face, warm drops falling on her arm as she listened to the Latina contently. 'I know it's stupid, and it probably isn't the same guys, but I guarantee that they didn't stop with me. I couldn't report them properly because I didn't see their faces.' She sniffed. 'Fuck I didn't see their faces Q.' She sobbed, full on now as the blonde held her in her arms, rocking her gently as she cried.

'It's okay Santana. You were fourteen years old. You were hurt and terrified. All you should have been thinking about was yourself, everyone would have thought the same.'

'But..' She sobbed, the blonde moving her arm out from under her and laying her head down on the pillow. She looked down over the brunette.

'No buts Santana. And the fact that you have these thoughts now, that you are so worried about trying to protect other people, makes you really special.' Santana laughed.

'Yeah, how'd you work that one out.' Quinn wiped a tear from her tanned skin.

'Because you genuinely give a fuck.' Santana laughed again, the abrupt use of curse words helping. Quinn would make a note of that. 'You went through something no one should have to, and all you're thinking about now is trying to prevent someone else from having the same experience. You're a good person San.'

'Maybe.' She replied, unconvincingly.

'No, Santana, definitely.' Quinn kissed her on the forehead and lent over her to the bedside table. 'So, please take one of these. You can sleep for most of the day and by the time you wake up it'll almost be tomorrow.'

'You promise?'

'I swear to God.' Quinn had never looked more sincere in her life, the brunette seeing this so she nodded, watching the blonde pop out a tablet to give her.

'Thanks Q.' She whispered, facing the blonde as she felt her eyes slipping moments later.

'And I'll be right here next to you, we've got this San.' She smiled, the brunette finally closing her eyes, and she was out within minutes.

* * *

><p><em>Screaming. She was screaming but she wasn't waking up. All she could see was the darkness surrounding her, the feel of hard pavement pressing into her stomach. All she could hear was the petrified sound of her lungs emptying, and all she could feel was the pain. She felt him push the knife into her back just below her shoulder, a separate pair of strong hands keeping her on the concrete. The blade was slowly being dragged down her back, leaving a burning sensation as it went, her blood trickling down the side of her body. More screaming. <em>'Santana?' _Quinn, could she hear Quinn. It was a dream, that's all it was so she just needed to wake the fuck up. They wouldn't get off, she couldn't breathe and they wouldn't let her. His rough hands now on the back of her head, forcing her down further into the pavement as the second man slices through her once more. All she was thinking was why her? Why of all people did they decide to do this to her? But the thoughts were quickly shattered as she let out another horrendous scream, the blade ripping down her side as more blood seeped out onto the pavement. _'Santana, wake up!' _Quinn again. Why the hell couldn't she wake up? The pill! She wasn't strong enough, she wasn't able to break the hold. Medication trapping her in this state of remembering. _

* * *

><p>'Santana, oh God.' Quinn was panicking now. She had no idea how to wake her up, suspecting that the medication had everything to do with her inability to snap out of it herself. 'What do I do? What do I do?' She frantically looked around the room, flipping on the light as she climbed over the Latina. The brunette was sweating and shaking as usual. Her face occasionally wincing in agony as her dream state became her reality. Quinn grabbed her cell from the table, looking at the time before doing anything else. It was nine am. Good. Everyone would be up, or at breakfast. She needed help. 'Brittany?' She said after the phone was answered.<p>

'What is it Q?' The other blonde hearing the distress in her friends voice.

'She wont wake up, she, she wont..'

'Quinn, calm down okay. Sometimes she needs to do it on her own remember?'

'I know but she took one of her pills, and she..' Quinn exhaled.

'She cant…' Brittany thought for a second. 'Those pills are strong Quinn, I don't know what we can do to get her out of it.' She thought for a second longer, Quinn's frantic breathing on the end of the line. 'How long since she took it?'

'Erm, eight, eight hours.' She was on the verge of tears. 'I made her take it B, she didn't want to but I kept pushing and pushing and now, now she, she's in so much pain.'

'Quinn calm down okay, Santana makes her own choices alright. If she really didn't want to take it she wouldn't have. This is not your fault. And eight hours is a long time so she should wake up really soon. Just make sure she doesn't hurt herself and stay with her. Trust me on this.'

'Okay, yeah I can do that.' Quinn lent against the headboard of the bed, free hand pressed against her forehead as she closed her eyes.

'Do you want me to come up? I can bring Rachel so you wont be alone?'

'No, B, it's fine. I'll be fine okay.' Quinn smiled, the dancer clearly not able to see her.

'Okay, but call me if you need a break or anything.'

'Thanks Brittany.' She said before hanging up the phone and looking back to the Latina. She sighed as she watched her friend's face. In so much pain and knowing that she couldn't do anything to help her. Quinn moved next to her, lifting the covers and slipping in beside her and placing her right arm around her shoulders. With her left hand she gently stroked the side Santana's face, ignoring the shaking and the sweating, as she tried to sooth her. 'It'll be okay San, it's time to wake up okay?' She whispered, the situation becoming all too familiar to her.


	32. Chapter 32

**Do You Want To Be With Her?**

The next few hours were like torture for Quinn. She tried to stay as close to Santana as she could, but her friend would occasionally lash out. Unintentionally of course but Quinn had already had to dodge a few blows. She ended up sitting on the opposite bed, head in her hands as she listened to the smaller girl dream. She would mumble things, most of which Quinn could make out, only adding to the frustration of not being able to wake her up. By midday, Rachel and Brittany were getting worried, so they went up to check on the girls. Quinn heard someone gently knocking on the door, sighing as she went to open it. 'Hey Q.' Brittany said timidly. They were ushered into the room but Quinn told them that they needn't worry about being quiet. Nothing was waking Santana up.

'How's she doing?' Rachel asked, sitting on the edge of the Latina's bed.

'Not great,' Quinn sighed once more as she ran her hands through her hair. 'And I'd step back if I were you Rachel,' the smaller girl giving her an odd look, 'she swings sometimes.' Quinn smiled gently, Rachel moving onto the chair in the corner of the room.

'Have you tried to wake her again?'

'Yeah, Brit, I've tried a lot.' She laughed to disguise her tears, Brittany moving to place a hand on her shoulder.

'She's okay.' Brittany reassured her.

'B, look at her! What about her is okay?' Santana was still sweating, Quinn unsure as to how someone could sweat that much but she let it go, and every now and again her face would screw up in some sort of agony.

'Quinn please calm down. Santana has been here before okay, there's nothing we can do for her until she wakes up.' Brittany smiled at her, Quinn rubbing her face as she frantically nodded.

'Okay, yeah I'm sorry, I'm just..'

'I know, we're all worried.' Brittany said, smiling once more before looking over to Rachel.

'So, Quinn,' the diva began; 'Brittany and I were thinking that you should get out of here for a while.' Quinn scowled at her. 'I just mean,' she continued, raising her hands in defence. 'That you've been in here for a long time and might want a walk. Get some fresh air?'

'What about Santana? I cant just…...'

'I'll stay with her.' Brittany interrupted. 'You and Rachel can go out, just for half an hour, and clear your head okay?'

'Yeah.' Quinn reluctantly nodded. 'Okay.' Brittany smiled and sat down on the bed beside her best friend as she watched the other two girls leave the room. Gently stroking dark hair as she laid next to Santana, the situation taking her back to the year before.

* * *

><p>'So Quinn, how is everything? You know with Santana?' Rachel asked nervously, not wanting her companion to rip her head off.<p>

'It's horrible.' Quinn admitted. 'I hate not being able to help her.' They walked out of the hotel doors, planning on walking up and down the street a few times to soak up some fresh air.

'I get it Quinn, but I wasn't talking about her… troubles.'

'Then what were you talking about?' Brown eyes were burning into the side of her face as she felt Rachel staring at her.

'You know, Quinn, don't pretend that you don't.' Rachel sighed after the blonde responded with silence, looking back in front of her as they continued on their way.

'We,' Quinn paused, stopping Rachel and turning the smaller girl to face her. 'We went on a date last night.'

'You did!' Rachel beamed, Quinn bemused by this burst of enthusiasm.

'Yeah, why are you acting like a three year old?' Quinn asked sarcastically.

'I'm just, I'm happy for you guys. I know how close you are.' Quinn smiled.

'We were actually going to run it by you and Brit, see what you thought about it before we told anyone else.'

'Well,' Rachel began as they started to walk again. 'Do you like her?'

'No, I'm hanging out with her every second because I loathe her.' Rachel rolled her eyes.

'Fine, dumb question. Do you want to be with her.'

'I do, yeah.' Quinn smiled, staring at the pavement as she did so.

'Then who cares what everyone else thinks, you be with her Quinn.'

'What about everyone else? Sam? My dad?' Rachel stopped her again.

'Okay, tell people when you are both comfortable. Brit and I certainly wont say anything. Sam will understand, he's a good guy and he'll get it. As for your dad, he's a jerk. But that is what Santana is for. She will kick anyone's ass for you in a heartbeat, I guarantee you she will.' Quinn laughed as she turned them around, heading back to the hotel.

'Thanks Rachel,' she exhaled. 'I needed this.'

'You're welcome. Now lets go see if she's awake.'

* * *

><p>They had been gone for forty minutes when they walked back into the girls hotel room. 'Brit?' Quinn called, rounding the corner into the room. Before anyone could respond she was bombarded by a cloud of dark hair, pulling her into a tight embrace. 'Santana.' She whispered, holding on tight. Extremely relieved she was awake. She could still feel her body trembling, like the aftershock of an earthquake, gripping her top even tighter to try and make it stop. 'Are you alright?' She whispered once more, Santana lowering her arms and relaxing slightly around Quinn's frame.<p>

'I am now.' She said, sounding so exhausted. No one would believe that she had just been asleep for over ten hours. The girls separated, completely forgetting about Rachel and Brittany, who had moved to sit together on Santana's bed. They both turned their heads.

'Don't mind us.' Rachel waved them back to each other, smiling at Quinn as Brittany slapped her on the shoulder.

'Come on Berry.' The dancer bounced up. 'All the guys are meeting Mr Schu in about an hour, just for a fun afternoon if you guys feel up to coming.' Brittany smiled at them sweetly, leading the smaller girl out by the hand. 'In the game room, you know Q, the one with the hippos!' She called after them, leaving both Santana and Quinn with grins on their faces. The door closed silently leaving them alone, Quinn staring into the brunette's eyes.

'You're sure you're okay?' She repeated, not truly believing her. Santana's face began to twist before she could find the words. Her eyes started to glisten with pain and fear, collapsing into Quinn once more as she let everything out. 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Santana.' She began to cry with her, stroking her hair and placing tender kisses on her forehead.

'Shit,' Santana groaned after a few minutes. 'I cried all over you.'

'Don't worry about it.' She winked at her, 'I can change before we go out.' She saw Santana tense at the last statement, quickly correcting herself. 'If you want to, I mean we can stay up here if you don't want to..'

'No, Q, I need to see everyone. I need to talk to them.' She smiled.

'Okay then, do you want to shower first?' Quinn slumped down onto the bed, Santana nodding and collecting her things. Quinn couldn't help herself. She got up and walked over to the bathroom door, pressing her ear up against it. She listened to the sound of running water, the splashing of Santana throwing it over herself, and the faint muffling of sobs escaping from her friend's lips. Quinn placed her hand timidly on the door, wanting nothing more than to be with her, holding her. Wanting to find any way to take the pain away and erase the memory for ever. Santana turned off the shower and stepped out, water dripping off of her marked body. Quinn listened to the silence and knew that she was looking over her scars once more. She couldn't even imagine what it was like for Santana to look in the mirror and see them every day. It was a constant reminder of the never ending torment that the brunette would have to live with. Quinn jumped away from the door as she heard movement on the other side, acting like everything was normal as she greeted the girl she was dating with a comforting smile.


	33. Chapter 33

**Santana Needs To Talk To You Guys**

'So I talked to Rachel about, about us.' Quinn said in the elevator, Santana looking over at her.

'You did?' Quinn nodded. 'What did she say?' Santana asked, biting her lip and thinking the worst.

'She thought.' Quinn looked away, playing up the moment before turning to Santana with a big smile. 'She thought it was great, she will back us up one hundred percent.' The brunette next to her smiled, and it was a proper smile that reached her eyes and everything.

'What?' She asked after a few moments, noticing Quinn studying her face.

'You are so, just, wow. When you smile.' Quinn lent over to her and entwined their hands, pecking her on the lips as Santana blushed, the smile quickly retreating back into herself.

'Thanks.' She said timidly, the elevator indicating that they were now on the ground floor. They walked out, still hand in hand, as Santana changed the subject. 'So, who knew Berry could be so cool huh?' She laughed, Quinn joining in soon after.

'I know, now we just have to get past everyone else.' Quinn reminded her. 'So do you want to do it now, get everything out there in the open when we talk to them?' She felt Santana tense up again, and she hated feeling that.

'I, I don't think I can.' Santana admitted honestly, 'not yet anyways.' She let go of Quinn's hand. 'I'm sorry.'

'It's okay Santana, I'm not going to do anything until your ready. Okay?' Santana nodded, exhaling as they reached the door to the lounge where everyone was hanging out. 'Ready?'

'Yeah, I guess.' Santana said unconvincingly, but Quinn pushed the door open anyway.

* * *

><p>They walked in to a loud chatty room, only to have it fall into complete silence as they were noticed. So much for it not being awkward, Santana thought. Rachel saw the look on Santana's face, like she was about to run and hide at any moment, so she quickly jumped out of her seat and went over to them.<p>

'Hi guys, come and sit with us.' She grinned, pulling Quinn over who in turn pulled Santana, sitting them down on a sofa. Everyone was pretty much gathered around the table, Mr Schu at the head of it. Quinn guessed they were talking about their next performance or something. Santana let her head drift down to the floor, not making eye contact with anyone, and even more petrified about starting up a conversation about her most painful secret. She slowly looked over to Quinn next to her, and the blonde immediately understood.

'So,' she cleared her throat, 'Santana needs to talk to you guys.' Everyone was staring at the two girls contently. 'But she needs you to be patient, and don't jump in with questions. Okay?' She was met with murmurs of 'alright,' and 'sure,' with a few nods appearing from various members. She then turned to Santana, giving her a comforting squeeze on the leg as she looked up.

'I,' She looked at Quinn once more before continuing. 'I wanted to apologise to you guys.' She began. 'I should have trusted you with this, and now I see that I could have.' She smiled at them weakly, a few sent her way in return. 'I just didn't know how you would react, and what you would think of me after you knew.' She could feel the tears starting to glisten in her eyes when Mr Schu started to speak.

'Santana, It's okay. You don't need to apologise. We all get it.' The glee clubbers nodded, Santana grateful for the interruption as she held in the waterworks.

'Thanks Mr Schu.' She smiled at him, then opened up her body slightly as she felt more comfortable, looking at everyone else. 'So, I guess if you guys have anything you wanna ask me about, I could try and talk to you now.' Brittany was sitting on Artie's lap, watching her best friend contently because she knew how hard this was for her. Everyone else just sort of looked at each other, waiting for someone to get the ball rolling.

'Are you okay?' Puck started them off, a simple question but it was the one that Santana feared the most. The mohawked boy looked at her, she was probably one of his closest friends apart from Finn, and he hated that she hadn't told him.

'No, I'm not.' She admitted, wiping away a solitary tear that fell as she answered. 'I haven't been okay since the night it happened.' She tried to smile, now she could see tears in Puck's eyes.

'What about the police? Didn't they find them? The guys who..' Finn asked, Quinn quickly cutting him off.

'No, Finn, they never caught them.' She moved closer to Santana, her hand idly on her knee to try and comfort her in a way that wouldn't reveal their own secret to the group.

'Oh, that sucks, I'm sorry.' He finished, Santana nodding.

'So it was today, when it happened?' Artie asked, Brittany looking down at him.

'Yeah, two years ago today.' Santana clarified for them, looking down and playing with Quinn's hand as Mercedes took over.

'Can we see the scars?' She asked quietly, thinking that someone was bound to eventually. Santana looked up at Quinn, who nodded, indicating that it was okay and she was right there if Santana needed her.

'Okay, but um..' She wiped her nose. 'Can you guys just not make any noises? Just silence, please, when you see them.' They all agreed, Santana hating the gasps and the pitying sounds people made when they saw the marks on her. She stood up, Quinn's hand falling off of her as she did so. Looking around he room she was thankful that they were the only ones in there, and then she unbuttoned her shirt. She slipped it down over her left arm to reveal her stomach, the lesser amount of scars on that side of her body, and she watched their eyes widen as they looked at them. Then she turned around. Quinn saw her silently crying as she turned away from them, reaching up her hand to clasp in on to Santana's. The brunette gratefully accepted it as they latched onto each other. After a few more moments she turned back around, pulling her shirt quickly on and doing it up before sitting back down next to Quinn and Rachel, both of her arms holding on to one of Quinn's for dear life.

'So,' Quinn desperately wanted to change the subject for Santana's sake. 'What were you guys talking about?' She smiled, Santana giving her arm a subtly squeeze to thank her.

'Oh,' Mr Schu suddenly seemed to snap back into reality, 'we were talking about the final, Vocal Adrenaline look like our biggest threat.'

'Yeah, we cannot let them win this again you guys.' Rachel added, smiling at Quinn who nodded.

'No way,' Puck added. 'Hey Mr Schu, how about we lock them all in their rooms before the competition?' They all laughed, even Santana letting out something resembling a chuckle, and that was how the rest of the afternoon went. They talked and played a few games that they found in the cupboard. Puck managed to swindle some money out of everyone in a game of poker, which they thought he cheated at but they let it go. Brittany and Santana even managed to sneak away from everyone to the corner of the room.

* * *

><p>'Hey.' Brittany said after a few minutes of staring at her friend.<p>

'Erm, hey?' Santana responded, laughing slightly.

'So you and Quinn?'

'What about it?' Santana started to deal a pack of cards between them. What game they were playing she didn't know.

'Rachel said you were dating or something.' Brittany informed her, picking up each card as Santana passed them over.

'Damn Berry,' Santana muttered, knowing that Rachel wouldn't be good at keeping secrets.

'San, it's okay.' Brittany stopped her dealing, placing her hands on top of Santana's tanned ones. 'She only told me. And I think it's good.'

'You do?' Santana looked confused.

'Yeah, I mean I have Artie, I want you to be happy.' She smiled, Santana returning the favour.

'Thanks Brit.' She continued dealing, Brittany watching her contently and grinning. Quinn was so good for her, and maybe she could help her get better. Like properly better, and then Santana will finally be able to get a good night's sleep.

'I really like her Brit.' Santana added after all the cards were dealt.

'I can see that.' Brittany joked. 'You light up every time she's near you S.' Santana blushed. 'Maybe when we get back home, you and Quinn could double date with me and Artie?'

'Yeah, I think that would be nice.' Santana smiled. Although truthfully she hadn't even begun to think about what they were going to do once they got back to Lima. Hell, Quinn's dad would be the first thing they needed to take care of. The man had some serious issues and Santana knew she was going to end up being one of them.


	34. Chapter 34

**You Can Stare All You Like... **

'See,' Quinn began as she and Santana were making their way back to their room. 'That wasn't so bad.' She smiled, the doors to the elevator opening as she took Santana by the hand.

'No, I guess it wasn't.' She smiled at the blonde, gripping her tightly. 'And Brit knows, about us. Berry told her.'

'That's good San, one less person to drop the bomb on.' She laughed, Santana nodding as they reached the door. Before they entered, Quinn lent down slightly to the smaller girl, pressing her lips gently against Santana's. Deepening the kiss as she pressed the brunette up against the door, her face desperately wanting to smile as she felt her kissing back just as fiercely. Quinn took this as a good sign so she started to trace her hand up Santana's stomach. Reaching under her shirt she felt her fingers brush along her scars, the delicate skin warm under her touch. It felt nice to be close to her, that is, until she started to tense up.

'Mmm, wait.' Santana turned her head sideways, the door preventing her from moving any further.

'I'm sorry, what is it?' Quinn wiped her mouth slightly as she pulled away, looking at the Latina.

'Don't be sorry, I just.' She paused, looking down at the floor.

'Santana you can talk to me.' Quinn smiled sweetly, brushing a strand of dark hair out of Santana's eyes.

'I don't want you to be mad okay?' She looked into Quinn's eyes, the blonde just smiling at her.

'Why would I be mad? Just tell me what it is.' She held the smaller girl's hands in her own.

'Can we go inside first?' Santana asked timidly.

'Sure.' Quinn took the key card from her pocket, slipping it into the slot as the light went green, then pushing her way through it. Santana immediately went to sit on the bed, Quinn quickly closing the door and following her. 'Now,' she dropped down onto the bed next to the brunette. 'Talk to me.'

'Well,' she sighed. 'The last time I, you know, did that. It was with Brit. And it was a while ago. I just, I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet.' She smiled sadly at Quinn, who pulled her into a hug.

'That's okay Santana, I get it.'

'So, you're not mad then?' Santana pulled away looking confused, Quinn doing the same.

'Like I said, why would I be mad? It's only sex San, it's not that important to me.'

'But out in the hall, I thought, I thought that's what you wanted.' She looked down, embarrassed.

'Well I can't deny that it would be nice.' She laughed, stroking the side of Santana's face as she continued. 'But you are more important to me than that. And if you're not comfortable then that's okay with me. I'm more than willing to wait until you are.' The blonde proceeded to place light kisses on her face, kissing away the tears that she knew would be coming.

'Thanks Q.' She smiled, exhaling as she kissed her back on the lips. 'But kisses are good.' The brunette grinned.

'Kisses are very good.' Quinn agreed, giggling at her and embracing her one more time. 'So, how did you feel today?'

'Well, after I woke up it was fine.' Santana smiled. 'I actually haven't really thought about it at all, and hanging with Brit helps.'

'Yeah, you looked happy today, sitting with her.' Quinn started to undress, changing into her pyjamas, Santana simply watching her every move.

'I used to think that Brittany was the only person who got me.' Santana admitted, Quinn slumping back down on the bed, but the other end so that her head was now leaning against the headboard.

'And now?' Quinn encouraged her to carry on.

'And now, I'm thinking I was wrong.' She grinned, getting up to change as Quinn had done moments ago.

'Well, that's good to here. Now get your skinny ass in this bed.' Santana chuckled, removing her top to reveal the scars once more. Quinn couldn't help it. She knew that every time her eyes would be drawn to them, and Santana noticed.

'You can stare all you like Q. You can't make them disappear.'

'But I can try.' She smiled again, Santana joining in as she slipped into the bed beside Quinn. The blond's arm wrapping tightly around her. Keeping her safe. 'So, Mr Schu asked me what I thought about you performing later on in the week.' Quinn spoke after a while, the brunette not looking up at her.

'What did you tell him?' Santana stared ahead, grabbing onto Quinn tighter.

'Honestly,' she felt Santana nod. 'I said that I think you should sit out.' Santana sighed as Quinn continued. 'I know you don't want to San, but I think it would be for the best.'

'I know. And you're probably right.' She sighed again. 'Damn it, you are right.' She corrected herself.

'Santana, I don't want to be right. And who knows maybe you'll feel better by Friday? Maybe you can learn the routines anyway, just in case' The blonde hugged her tighter.

'I guess it wouldn't hurt.' Santana agreed, but then moved out of Quinn's arms and out of the bed.

'What are you doing?' Quinn asked, sitting up as the Latina pulled back on the pair of jeans she just threw onto the floor.

'I can't sleep. I'm gonna go for a walk, clear my head.' She smiled at Quinn, taking a hoodie out of her suitcase and pulling it over her head.

'Okay hang on, I'll come with you.' Quinn was halfway out of the bed when Santana stopped her.

'No, Q.' The blonde looked at her. 'Can I go alone? I just really need to be alone for a bit.' She smiled, Quinn sitting back down heavily on top of the covers.

'You sure?' Santana nodded. 'What if something, you know, happens?' Quinn added.

'I've got my phone. I promise I won't be long and I'm only going around the hotel. No way am I going outside today.' She joked, but Quinn knew she was deadly serious. 'And besides, you could use a good nights sleep.' Santana winked at her, spinning on her heels as she grabbed the key card from the table and headed out the door. Quinn was left in silence and she couldn't help but feel scared. She didn't want Santana to be out there alone, especially today, but she also knew that Santana needed to figure out some things for herself. So she did what Santana had said, and tried to get a good nights sleep.


	35. Chapter 35

**Why Did You Let Her Go Outside? **

As soon as she left the room she knew it was a bad idea. Immediately hugging herself as she walked. Every step she took allowed she allowed herself to feel more vulnerable. She wanted to be near Quinn. She wanted to let her help her, but the blonde had already done so much. She got to the elevator and waited for it to arrive, stepping inside and watching the doors close in on her. She took a deep breath, scrunching her eyes closed momentarily as she felt the floors pass by her. She reached the lobby only taking one step before she saw some people she recognised. Tina, Mercedes and Lauren were coming out of the lounge, obviously making their way up to their room. 'Hey, Santana.' Tina saw her first, all three girls making their way towards her as she wrapped her arms around her body.

'Hey,' she smiled at them, not really meeting their eyes but looking vaguely at them.

'Are you okay?' Lauren asked upon seeing the Latina's tired face.

'Fine.' She lied, her feet moving around under her as she desperately wanted to be anywhere else.

'So, where's Quinn?' Mercedes wondered, trying to figure out what Santana was doing.

'She's upstairs. I wanted to let her sleep, you know, without anything disturbing her.'

'Right, but what are you going to do?'

'Look, I was just going for a walk. You guys don't need to play twenty questions with me. I'm fine.' Santana looked Mercedes in the eyes. And then she could see how tired Santana truly was. Her eyes red and bloodshot, bags formed under them both and her face seemed stained with all of e tears she had cried. 'Please don't look at me like that.' Santana pleaded, looking away trying to hide her face.

'Sorry.' Mercedes looked away too, the other girls looking more and more awkward until Santana decided to end the conversation.

'Goodnight guys.' She said finally, before walking towards the hotel doors. She said she wouldn't go outside, but she had to, didn't she? The anniversary was the perfect time to face her fear dead on. What better way to do that than by walking around the streets of New York at night.

'Goodnight,' Lauren mumbled back as they watched her walk away and out of the hotel.

'Should she be out there alone?' Tina wondered aloud.

'I don't know but I think we need to tell Quinn.' Mercedes decided, heading to the elevator with the other two girls following.

'Santana's going to be pissed if she finds out.'

'I know, Tina, but what are we supposed to do?'

'Yeah, I agree. She shouldn't be alone.' Lauren pressed the buttons for the thirteenth floor and they headed up to see Quinn.

* * *

><p>It was a cold night again. Santana was just relieved that she grabbed her jacket as she walked out of the room. Walking along the street she realised how full it still was. People walking with loved ones, groups of friends out for the night. So if there was this many people, why did she still feel afraid? She stuffed her hands in her pockets and headed the same way they went when Mr Schu took them out. But this time, she was determined to make it all the way to the restaurant. She needed to prove to herself that she could do it. That she didn't need Quinn or Brittany or anyone for that matter. She could take care of herself. She also needed to get a handle on everything, not flipping out every time someone touched her or a loud noise came on suddenly. She needed to get over this.<p>

* * *

><p>Mercedes was knocking on the door. 'Quinn,' she called, figuring the blonde was sound asleep so she knocked louder. 'Quinn.' A moment later the door shot open.<p>

'What is it?' She said groggily, wiping the sleep from her eyes.

'Erm, we thought we should tell you...' Tina drifted off.

'What? Guys come on, I'm tired.'

'We know Q, but it's Santana.' The mention of Santana definitely woke her up, eyes more alert as she scanned the girls faces.

'What about Santana? Is she okay?' Quinn stepped forwards.

'Yeah, well we think so. We saw her downstairs and she said she was going for a walk, outside.' Lauren added.

'What!' Quinn ran back into the room, grabbing her phone and a jacket after slipping on some jeans. 'Why did you let her go outside!'

'Quinn calm down. She seemed okay.'

'But she isn't okay Mercedes, far from it. She shouldn't be out there alone. Not today.' Quinn scowled at them as she brushed past them and into the hall.

'Q, we're sorry we didn't...'

'Tina, it's okay, I shouldn't be shouting at you guys. But right now I need to go and find her.' Quinn smiled before walking away down the hall.

'Okay, but we're coming too.' Mercedes called as all three girls caught up with the blonde. They headed for the elevator and then down to the lobby. Worry burning inside Quinn the entire time. She knew she should never have let Santana go alone.


	36. Chapter 36

**It's Not Your Fault**

Storming out of the hotel doors, Quinn desperately searched in all directions. Santana could only have gone left or right so Quinn needed to split them up. 'Okay, Lauren. You come with me. Tina, Mercedes go right.' They nodded. 'Go to the end of the road and turn back, I don't think Santana would go that far.'

'Okay,' Tina agreed for the both of them.

'We'll meet you back here in a little while then.' Mercedes smiled, Quinn sending an uncertain one back before nodding, pulling Lauren hastily off to the left.

'Oh, and text me if you find her.' Quinn called back. And then all four girls were on their way.

Lauren was getting increasingly worried by the look on Quinn's face, also struggling to keep up with the smaller girl's frantic pace as they searched the street. 'Quinn, can you hang on a second.' Lauren called from behind her.

'No, I cant Lauren.' Quinn replied hurriedly, her head shooting from left to right as the traffic sped past them.

'Q, it'll be okay. We're gonna find her.' Lauren grabbed her arm, Quinn spinning around to face her.

'Laure, stop talking.' She almost screamed at her. 'I have to find her, I need to find her.' Tears were threatening to spill down her face as she looked up at the larger girl.

'Quinn, relax.' Lauren smiled. 'I know you want to find her, we all do.' She reminded her.

'I just, I don't like her being alone.' Lauren nodded. Quinn ran her hands through her hair and let out a breath. 'I'm sorry. Can we keep go now?'

'Sure. Come on.' Lauren rubbed her friend's arm as they continued down the street.

* * *

><p>'Have you seen anyone who looks like Santana yet?' Mercedes asked Tina as they were walking in the opposite direction. Turning their heads to look down every small alley and checking the face of every girl with brown hair.<p>

'No, I don't know where she could be.' Tina admitted.

'Well we need to find her. And soon.' Mercedes looked to her left, a car headlight shining down an alleyway. 'Wait.' She stopped Tina and directed her to the alley.

'What is it Mercedes?'

'I think I saw something.' They walked over to the alley tentatively. Not wanting to run into a homeless person or a mugger.

'Do you hear that?' Tina strained her ears as she listened, Mercedes in front of her as they walked down the small walkway. There was a row of metal trash cans next to a small dumpster, smoke coming out of a manhole on the floor. They stepped towards them, the odd noise getting louder.

'Santana?' Mercedes asked, peering around the trash cans as the noise got louder. 'San?' And sure enough, as they both stepped further towards the dumpster, was Santana. She was curled up to the wall and looking down at the floor, tears marking her face. She was sobbing uncontrollably as the two girls tried to get closer to her.

'Santana?' Tina said gently, leaning down and crouching in front of their distraught friend.

'San are you okay?' Mercedes asked, Santana not responding to Tina.

'I think you need to text Quinn, she's probably the only one Santana will talk to.' Tina looked up to the girl above her. Mercedes nodded and sent the message as Santana managed to look up.

'Q..Quinn?' She said croakily.

'Yeah,' Mercedes smiled. 'Quinn is coming okay.' Santana nodded. And as they looked her over they could see she was shaking. Their eyes widened at the sight of her tiny frame vibrating uncontrollably and then their attention was drawn to her right hand. It was settled between her stomach and her knees as they were pulled up to her chest, and it was covered in blood.

'Santana what happened?' Tina tried to reach out to her, the brunette only pulled back and ignored the question. She shook her head rapidly as she looked into Tina's eyes. 'Hey, it's okay.' She smiled, clearly Santana wasn't opening up to her or Mercedes. They simply sat with her and watched, knowing that there was nothing they could do to help her. However they didn't have to wait long, Quinn and Lauren bursting round the corner a few minutes later.

'Santana.' Quinn called, the two girls noticing Santana's body language change. Her head flew up and she seemed to relax as the blonde took Tina's place in front of her.

'Hey, it's me. I'm here.' Santana reached out for her with her good left hand, Quinn clearly noticing the blood on her other one but deciding to leave it alone for now. She took Santana's hand in both of hers as she edged closer. All she had to do was get Santana back inside where she could take care of her.

'I'm sorry,' Santana sobbed. 'I'm so, so sorry Q.'

'It's okay San.' Quinn smiled, bringing a hand up to stroke the hair out of her friend's eyes.

'It's not okay, I promised you and I.. I didn't mean to..' She sobbed, choking on various words as they rambled out of her mouth. 'I didn't mean to make you mad… or upset you or anything… I just….'

'Santana.' Quinn laughed. 'Hold up okay. I'm not mad. I'm just glad you're okay.'

'But I'm not, Q. I'm so no okay.' She looked into Quinn's eyes. The tears making her vision blur and her cheeks burn as she stared on.

'I know. But I want to help you.' Quinn went to stand up, trying to take Santana with her but the smaller girl was almost paralysed with fear. 'Come on.' Quinn reassured her.

'I.. I just, I cant move.' More tears over took her as she released the blonde's hand, Quinn looking down at her before turning to the other girls.

'What do we do?' Lauren asked, but Quinn already had a plan.

'Here, take this.' She handed Mercedes her room key. 'Go into the pocket of Santana's bag and get me her pills. They're in a small orange container.' She smiled at them.

'Sure. How will they help?' Mercedes wondered.

'Well, hopefully I can get her to take one and it will knock her out. Then maybe we can carry her back ourselves.'

'I can do that.' Lauren confirmed, as she and Mercedes hurried off back to the hotel. Tina insisted on staying with Quinn, not wanting to leave her and Santana alone out in the dark, but she stayed standing well back to give Quinn time to talk to the Latina.

'Hey San.' Quinn sat next to her, back against the wall.

'Hey.' She whispered back, facing forwards as Quinn looked at her sideways.

'How did you hurt your hand?' Quinn asked, reaching over and gently picking it up, holding it in her own.

'Erm, I flipped out. I.. I though someone was behind me and I..' She sniffed, wiping at her face with her other hand. 'I punched the wall.' She smiled.

'Does it hurt?'

'Yeah, it does.' She confessed, Quinn placing a gentle kiss on it as Tina looked at them suspiciously. Quinn shot her a glance causing her to avert her gaze as the blonde went back to focus on Santana. 'I'm sorry.' She was going to cry again.

'Santana stop that. It's not your fault.' Quinn stroked the side of her face, leaning her own head on the wall as they stared at each other.

'I'm such a pain in the ass.' She said, smiling slightly.

'Yeah, you are.' Quinn agreed. 'But you're the pain in my ass, which is fine by me.' Santana punched her playfully on the knee, and then without thinking of who was watching, she leaned in and kissed Quinn on the lips. Quinn fully embraced it, gently rubbing her cheek as her eyes closed. Then after a few moments they pulled back, Quinn immediately looking to Tina who was watching them. She smiled. Quinn took this as a good sign and turned back to Santana. 'I sent the guys to get your meds, okay?'

'Yeah, I thought you might.' Santana grinned. 'Dope me up.'

'San it's not like that. We just…..'

'I know Q, like I said I'm a pain I the ass. So just do whatever you need to do.'

'So will you take one?' Quinn pushed away from the wall and knelt painfully on her knees.

'If it gets me of this concrete I'll down the bottle.'

'Not funny.' Quinn informed her, Mercedes and Lauren coming back round the corner. They saw the two girls smiling at each other and then went to Tina.

'Everything okay?' Mercedes asked.

'Better, I think.' Tina said with a sly smile on her face. The other two exchanging suspicious looks, but they could grill Tina for the info later.

'Here.' Lauren walked over to them slowly and handed Quinn the pills.

'Thanks.' Quinn smiled up at her as she popped the lid. She reached in and pulled out another large white pill, Giving it to the Latina who took it from her without a fuss.

'You wont leave me?' Santana said sadly, studying the medication in her hand.

'Never. I promise we will all be by your side when you wake up. I'll even drag B and Rachel up to the room as well.' Santana smiled.

'Thanks Quinn.' She said, before slipping the pill into her mouth and swallowing it difficultly. It eventually went down and the girls waited only moments before the effects kicked in. Santana was out. Quinn motioning for Lauren to help her with the stranded glee clubber, and then they all slowly made their way back to the room.


	37. Chapter 37

**She Knew What This Was About**

Lauren gently placed Santana down onto her bed, Quinn flipping on the light as she closed the door behind them. Mercedes and Tina sat around the small table in the corner of the room whilst Lauren positioned herself on Quinn's bed. Quinn made her way slowly over to her sleeping girlfriend, sitting next to her and stroking her lightly on her forehead. A few moments later her sigh broke the silence throughout the room, and then they heard a light rapping on the door. 'I've got it.' Mercedes said, getting out of her chair and opening the door.

'Hey, we got your message.' Rachel said quietly, Brittany following her into the room. They turned the corner and saw the sleeping girl, her hand bandaged by Quinn while she was unconscious.

'Oh my God, Quinn what happened?' Brittany asked, sitting the other side of Santana as Rachel joined Lauren on the adjacent bed.

'I'm not really sure. She went for a walk and had a freak out. Thought someone was following her and she punched a wall.' Brittany looked at her, confused. 'That's what she told me B. We can ask her when she wakes up.' Quinn smiled, Brittany taking Santana's uncovered hand in her own.

'Okay.' Brittany agreed, running her finger across the Latina's palm delicately.

'Um, what do we do now? Just wait?' Lauren asked, leaning against the headboard.

'Yeah, pretty much.' Brittany confirmed.

'And I promised her we wouldn't leave.' Quinn informed them, all of the girls nodding in agreement.

'Quinn,' Tina asked, the blonde looking up from Santana. 'Can I speak to you for a minute? In the hall.'

'Sure.' Quinn stroked Santana's hair one last time before getting up to follow Tina into the hall. She knew what this was about.

* * *

><p>'So.' Tina turned to face Quinn as the door clicked gently closed behind them.<p>

'Yeah.' Quinn let out a shaky breath.

'Are you and Santana… together?' Tina asked, cutting right to it as she saw the taller girl playing with her fingers. Quinn delayed answering, Tina eventually taking her hands, stopping them. Quinn finally looked up into her eyes.

'Yeah, we are.' Quinn admitted, Tina smiling back at her.

'That's awesome.' She was grinning fully now, Quinn joining her after a few moments. 'but, I had no idea you were gay.'

'Me neither.' Quinn laughed, leaning her back against the hallway wall. 'But it's Santana, you know.' Tina nodded, leaning next to Quinn,

'What about Brittany?'

'What about her?' Quinn wasn't sure where Tina was going with this.

'Well, they obviously had a thing. Is she okay with you two?'

'Yeah, she told Santana she was so, yeah.' Quinn said it twice to reassure herself, looking down at the floor as Tina continued to ask questions.

'Who else knows?'

'Just you, Brit and Rachel. But I guess now we might as well make it public.' She smiled.

'I think you should.'

'Really?' Quinn looked shocked. 'After everything that went down with Kurt? And I don't know what I would do if my dad ever found out.'

'I know it'll be hard Q, but I think it'll be better if you get it out there.'

'I guess.' Quinn knew she was right. And no matter what happened she knew she would always have Santana. 'I think right now we need to focus on the rest of this week, and the next couple when we get home. Santana isn't going to be able to do anything until she beats this thing.'

'Well form where I'm standing, it doesn't look like it can get much worse. She really needs help.'

'I know Tina, I'm trying. When she freaks out, it's like I loose a part of her and have to fight to get it back.'

'I'm sorry Q, how can we help?'

'I have no idea.' Quinn laughed out of desperation, Tina putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

'Well we're here if you think of anything. We've got her back. And yours.'

'Thanks.' Quinn sniffed, smiling down at her friend as she fought off the tears. 'Shall we go back in?'

'Yeah, come on.' Tina took the key card out of the blondes hand and went in first. Quinn immediately following and heading straight back over to the Latina.

* * *

><p>'How's she doing?' Quinn asked, lightly taking her injured hand and caressing it carefully.<p>

'Well, she's mumbled a few times.' Brittany informed her, staring down at her best friend.

'What about?'

'The same stuff.' Brittany smiled sadly. 'She cant get away. They keep hurting her.'

'I know they do Brit. But we're gonna take care of her okay.'

'Yeah.' A few moments of silence went by until Santana moved. She rolled over, away from Brittany and towards Quinn. It was almost as if she knew Quinn was there, watching over her. She moved unconsciously, throwing her arm around Quinn's stomach causing the girl to slide down into the bed. She put her arm under Santana's neck and pulled her in closer. The Latina's breathing then became erratic, her eyebrows scrunching up in pain as she grabbed a hold of Quinn tighter.

'San?' Quinn whispered, looking down at her and then up at the others who all had concerned looks on their faces. 'Santana?' She repeated.

'Mmm….. No..' Santana mumbled.

'Are you okay?' Quinn snuggled down further into her, listening to her carefully.

'Maybe….. I dun….. I dunno….' She sighed heavily, a single tear falling out of her sleeping eyes.

'Santana can you wake up?' Quinn though she would try it.

'I.. I.. Q.' She gripped onto the side of Quinn's top before letting out a cry.

'Hey, San it's okay. You're okay.' Quinn was now lying in front of Santana, facing her as she adjusted her head on the pillow until she was comfortable. She put her hand on Santana's head and felt how warm she was.

'Guys she's burning up.' Quinn looked up at them.

'I'll get a cold towel.' Mercedes hurried out of her seat and into the bathroom, Quinn focusing all of her attention back on Santana.

'Honey, can you hear me?' Quinn whispered. Santana nodded slowly but her eyes didn't open. 'Good, that's good San.' She smiled even though Santana couldn't see her.

'Here.' Mercedes cam around to Quinn's side of the bed, leaning over slightly to pass her the towel.

'Thanks,' Quinn smiled up at her as she took the towel and started dabbing Santana's forehead. 'San. Can you open your eyes?'

'No…no I cant….. get away.' She tightened her fists around whatever material she was holding.

'Yes you can Santana. You need to wake up.' The others were all watching contently. Rachel couldn't help the tears that glistened in her eyes.

'Quinn,' Rachel began, but in this situation her friends attention was not easy to get. 'Quinn.' She repeated.

'What is it Rachel?' She asked, not looking away from Santana's face.

'Don't you think it's upsetting her? She's trapped in her own head Quinn. She must be so confused already.'

'Well what am I supposed to do? I'm not gonna leave her, wherever the hell she is, because if you could see her face right now you would know how much pain she's in. So I have to try to wake her up.'

'What about..' Lauren drifted off.

'Lauren, what?' Quinn urged her to continue.

'I'm just thinking, talking to her doesn't seem to be working that well right now. Maybe she needs a jolt of some sort?'

'You mean like a shock?' Mercedes looked at her, sitting forwards in her chair.

'Yeah, something abrupt and sudden. Maybe that will be enough to get her to snap out of it.'

'I don't think that's a good idea.' Brittany said. 'I never had to do anything like that last year.'

'But did it ever get as bad as this Brit?' Quinn asked, sitting up and taking the brunette with her, holding her up and leaning her on her shoulder.

'No, it didn't.' Brittany sounded defeated.

'I think I agree with Brittany.' Tina added. 'What if it only causes her more distress?' Quinn sighed, obviously torn about what to do because they were right. Talking to her wasn't doing anything.

'Okay.' She said quietly. 'How about cold water? Like ice cold?'

'You want to throw a cup of ice water on her?' Rachel looked sceptical.

'Yeah, I do. She's burning up. The distinct change in temperature might work.'

'Sounds like a plan to me.' Lauren smiled. 'I'll go and get some ice.' She got up and left the room, taking one of the cups from the bathroom with her.

'Come on honey.' Quinn kept talking to Santana as she unclasped her hands and set her girlfriend back down on the bed. 'You'll be back soon. Everything will be calm and safe. I promise.' She kissed her gently on the forehead. Mercedes now aware that more was going on here, Tina confirmed this with a silent nod. Brittany had moved next to Rachel to prepare for what they were about to do. This was severely going to piss Santana off if it worked.


	38. Chapter 38

**You're Not Crazy Santana**

'Are you ready?' Lauren asked, handing a cup of ice water to Quinn.

'Yeah, I mean why wait right?' She smiled at the bigger girl, Lauren walking back to stand by the rest of the glee girls. This left only Brittany and Quinn by Santana. They weren't sure how Santana would react when she was awakened, so Brittany was there to lend a hand if needed. If it even worked that is.

'Are you just gonna toss it on her?' Brittany asked. Quinn walked around to the other side of the bed, looking down at Santana every step of the way.

'That was the plan Brit.' She confirmed.

'Right, erm, on three?' Quinn looked up at her friend and could see the fear in her eyes, she needed to say something.

'Brit, before we do this. Do you honestly think it's a good idea? Earlier you said it wasn't but it may be our only shot.' Brittany thought for a moment. It was true that she never had to do anything like this the previous year. But they were in Lima then. This was the big city and it was obviously having some effect on her friend, making the memory harder to deal with somehow. She looked over Santana, distraught and trapped as she winced from internal agony. Her bandaged hand twitching and her body shaking.

'Yes. It's a good idea.' She said firmly. 'We need to wake her up.'

'Okay then.' Quinn then abruptly tipped the glass over, pouring the freezing liquid onto the Latina.

'Quinn!' Rachel yelled, gripping Mercedes hand tightly as they watched the scene unfold in front of them. Santana felt it. The icy liquid struck her face, the shock immediately forcing her body upwards. She sat up coughing, her eyes flickering around the room as her breathing caught in her throat. Quinn quickly sat on the bed next to her in an attempt to soothe her.

'Santana, relax okay.' She said, stroking the back of the girls hair.

'Q…?' She looked over to her. 'Q what the fuck!' She panted, the cold from the water making her shiver more.

'Here,' Brittany reached behind her for the blanket on the other bed. Wrapping it around Santana's shoulders as the awakened girl looked around the room again, and then back to Quinn.

'I told you we would all be here when you woke up.' Santana couldn't help but laugh. A sudden burst that caught everyone off guard.

'You call that waking up!' She laughed again, Quinn smiling along with her as the others all still looked relatively confused at her reaction. 'That was fucking freezing.' She ran her hand through her wet hair, suddenly realising another pain. 'Shit.' She pulled back, resting her hand in her lap as she studied it. It had been cleaned and bandaged but the pain was coming pack.

'You okay?' Brittany asked, sitting down on the other side of her.

'Yeah.' She looked to Quinn. 'You have some balls Fabray, I'll give you that.' Quinn grinned at her. 'Seriously, if anyone else had done that I think I would have clocked them one.' Brittany cleared her throat. 'Sorry B, anyone apart from you and Brit I would have punched.'

'What can I say, sometimes you've gotta risk it.'

'Whatever, you enjoyed it.' Santana lent into her, both girls grinning until Santana's facial expression changed.

'San? What is it?' The Latina lifted her head away from Quinn.

'Nothing really, it's just all coming back to me now.' She sighed. Her laughter gone with the memory of hours before.

'Do you remember what happened?' Tina asked, she and the other girls taking seats on the bed and chairs.

'Yeah, I do.' Santana admitted. 'But I don't want..'

'Maybe talking about it will help?' Rachel cut her off, getting a sour look from Santana. And Quinn for that matter, but then they were an item now. Of course they would have each other's backs. 'I mean, if you got it out, it might help. You've been keeping so much inside and maybe you might feel a release if you let some of it go.'

'But that's the problem Rachel, I cant let it go.' She smiled up over at her sadly before feeling Quinn's arm wrap around her stomach, pulling her in sideways. She liked the feeling. Like someone wanted her, needed her. Like with this one other person she didn't have to feel afraid.

'Can you try?' Brittany asked quietly, Santana shooting her a small smile before she began.

'I erm, I went outside. But then you know that so I'll cut to it.' She sighed, looking down and grabbing Quinn's free hand in her un-bandaged one. 'I saw the alley and I freaked out. It reminded me of, you know, and I just..' She could feel the tears coming. The insides of her eyes were burning, like the tears that escaped would melt her skin.

'It's okay San.' Quinn whispered into her ear as she planted a gentle kiss on her neck. Now all of the glee girls knew what was going on.

'Yeah, I don't know how to explain it, but,' She paused, searching for the right words. 'It was like I had no control. Like the memory over took me and I wasn't me any more. Every step I took into that alley was involuntary. And I knew that whilst I was doing it. Isn't that crazy? I mean I must be insane to do something like that?'

'You're not crazy Santana.' Mercedes assured her.

'I have to disagree, she's a little crazy.' Quinn grinned at her, Santana staring at her for a moment before laughing again.

'Thanks Q.'

'Look guys, I hate to bring this up but when is it time for bed?' Lauren got up from her position on Quinn's bed, all of the girls loosing track of time.

'Shit, Quinn what is the time?' Santana asked, the blonde grabbing her phone from the table.

'It's, three am.'

'Damn,' Santana looked at Rachel. 'You have to get up in three hours.'

'Very funny. But I think I can make an exception today.' She lifted herself up heavily out of her chair and looked to Brittany. 'You ready Brit?' The dancer then over at Santana.

'Go Brit, I'm fine.' She took her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. Brittany then standing up to follow Rachel out of the room.

'See you guys at rehearsal, okay?'

'Yeah, we'll be there.' Quinn assured them. And then Lauren, Tina and Mercedes followed their lead.

'Oh and tomorrow, you two have some explaining to do.' Lauren called back.

'About what?' Santana replied.

'You know what!' Lauren grinned as they closed the door behind them, leaving the two girls alone once more.

'You need to sleep.' Santana said once the room had emptied, getting up from the bed and removing the blanket from her shoulders.

'Yeah, I really do.' Quinn agreed, yawning moments later. 'What are you going to do?'

'I'll sleep with you.' Santana looked at Quinn's eyes. But then her eyebrow raised.

'Q, not like that you perv.' Quinn laughed. 'I meant I'll sit with you while you sleep.'

'Of course, yeah. Why would you mean anything else.' Quinn winked at her.

'Ugh, Q!' Santana threw the blanket back onto the bed.

'Sorry, sorry,' She giggled. 'Go and dry off. I'll wait for you.'

* * *

><p>Santana emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later. She had changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and was making her way back to the bed. Quinn was already under the covers and Santana could see how tired she was. Her eyes only fluttering open as she felt Santana slide in next to her. 'Hey.' She whispered.<p>

'Hey, now go to sleep.' Santana kissed her on the forehead as she watched her eyes close once more, putting an arm under the taller girls shoulder as she lent up against the headboard.

'San?'

'Yeah Q.' She looked down at her, eyes still closed.

'You okay?'

'I'm fine. Go to sleep.' Santana grinned into the darkness.

'In a minute I will. It's three am San.'

'I know that babe.' Santana pulled the covers up to Quinn's neck, slowly caressing the side of her face.

'You know what that means?'

'That it's really fucking late.' Santana crudely pointed out.

'No San, it's Tuesday.' Quinn was right. The anniversary had come and gone. It was relatively painless. Well, apart form her hand but something like that was to be expected. But for one more year at least the day was over. Now she could focus on getting better.

'I know it is Q. I'll be better now. I promise.' Quinn groaned her approval. 'And thank you, for coming to find me.' She added.

'Of course I came to find you dumb ass.'

'Oh sleepy Q! You're bitchy when you're tired.' Santana laughed quietly, leaning over and kissing Quinn on the lips. She must have been worn out because she only made a small effort to kiss her back.

'Well, you're just a bitch all the time.' Quinn opened her eyes after their embrace. Smiling.

'Harsh Q, you'll pay for that one. Now sleep.' Santana said once more, before Quinn finally managed to drift off. Santana was there all night watching over her. She couldn't sleep again. Not after all the trouble she caused everyone last night. If only she could beat this thing. Then it would all be okay. For her and for Quinn.


	39. Chapter 39

**Is That Why She Broke Up With Me?**

Quinn awoke to the sound of her alarm clock at eight the next morning. Breakfast started at eight but ran all the way until ten so they had plenty of time to get some food. She rolled over and slapped the top of the clock, abruptly stopping the excruciating buzzing of it, and then rolled back over stretching. 'Morning.' She heard Santana say.

'Mmm, morning.' Quinn smiled up at her before opening her eyes.

'Sleep okay?'

'Yeah, I did actually.' Quinn opened her eyes. Her smile immediately turned sour as she looked over her girlfriends face. She quickly sat up and took the same position as Santana. 'Hey, what's wrong?'

'Nothing,' Santana said, wiping her nose as another tear escaped her eye.

'San come on, it's only me.' Quinn took her hand, careful not to cause her any pain as she caressed her arm.

'I know, I guess..' She faked a smile. 'I guess I'm just tired.'

'Okay,' Quinn got to her knees and kissed Santana's cheek before getting up. 'How about we get ready, go for breakfast and soak you in coffee?' She smiled, Santana responding with a grin.

'Sounds good to me.' She agreed as she watched Quinn walk into the bathroom. She set her head back and let out a long shaky breath. They were leaving on Sunday morning so she only had five more days until she could go home. And she really needed to be back in a familiar place. Her thoughts were interrupted as Quinn came out of the bathroom. Her hair was washed but still wet, and she was wearing blue skinnies and a flowing white top with flowers on it. Santana couldn't help but notice how very different she was compared to other people. Quinn was like, like sunshine. She glowed when she entered a room and got everyone to notice her. Santana was so not like that. She would pick black as her favourite colour. And black isn't even a colour it's the absence of anything colourful. How depressing is that.

'Your turn.' Quinn informed her, watching as Santana gingerly made her way out of the bed. 'How's the hand?'

'As long as I don't move it, it feels okay.' She smiled, grabbing a pair of jeans and a top. 'I'll be out in a second.'

'Okay.' Quinn smiled, going back to drying her hair with the hairdryer on the desk in the room.

* * *

><p>They made it downstairs within half an hour, walking into the dining room for breakfast they spotted the rest of the glee club and Mr Schuester already eating. 'Hey guys,' he said as he saw them walking over. They smiled at him before sitting down at the end of the table. 'Is everything alright?' He motioned to Santana's hand.<p>

'Oh, yeah Mr Schu don't worry.' She reassured him.

'It was a long night.' Quinn added, slipping her hand into Santana's left one. The girls all grinned at one another, the boys confused to say the least but no one said anything. 'I'll get us some coffee.' Quinn whispered, releasing her hand as she got up and headed to the coffee machine. The rest of the glee club was staring at Santana, her smile at Quinn fading when she noticed them.

'What?' She spat, many heads looking away.

'Nothing,' Rachel cleared her throat. 'So did you get any sleep last night?'

'No. Well Quinn did, which is good, but I didn't.' She smiled at the diva who shot a supporting one back in the Latina's direction. Just then Quinn came back with two coffees in hand, setting one down in front of Santana as she took her seat.

'Thanks.' Santana picked the cup up from the table gratefully. Even the smell was comforting her.

'So, you guys want something to eat?' Mr Schu asked them.

'No thanks Mr Schu.' Santana declined, Quinn nudging her in the side at her refusal to eat.

'We're going to raid the buffet.' Quinn stated, gently pulling Santana out of her seat as she went. They wandered over to the breakfast table, filled with fruit and cereal along with a selection of cooked food, Quinn picking up a plate at the start. 'What do you want?' Quinn asked.

'Nothing, I'm not hungry.'

'Santana.' Quinn looked at her accusingly before shovelling some scrambled eggs onto the plate. 'You can't live on coffee.'

'I can try.' Santana grinned, but getting Quinn's point. 'Ugh, fine. Just put more on your plate and I'll pick at it.'

'Thank you.' Quinn lent into her, pecking her on the cheek before going back to selecting them some breakfast. Unaware that the entire table of glee kids was watching them.

'Erm, girls.' Kurt looked around the table. 'Is there something we should know?'

'Well, uh…' Rachel started, not sure what to say. If Santana and Quinn even wanted anyone else to know they should be able to tell them themselves right? Thankfully Tina cut in before Rachel could say something stupid.

'They're together. It's no big deal guys. They really like each other.'

'That's great Tina, we're glad they're happy.' Mr Schu smiled at her, but he couldn't notice Sam who was staring at the two girls perusing the buffet. 'Sam? You okay?'

'Is that why she broke up with me? To be with Santana?' He looked around all of the glee girls faces. But truthfully none of them knew if that was or wasn't the reason.

'All we know Sam is that they have become really close on this trip.' Mercedes informed him. 'I don't think Quinn broke up with you to hurt you.' Sam sighed.

'I know, I mean I knew we would break up eventually, I did. But it's just weird that she's suddenly, you know..'

'We get it Sam, but please try and be happy for her.' Lauren gently squeezed his hand, the boy nodding as the two girls came back over.

'Erm, what's up?' Quinn said, looking at them oddly. Everyone was staring at them again.

'Hey.' Puck winked at them.

'Oh God, you told them?' Santana figured out.

'Not in so many words, they figured it out.' Rachel smiled innocently as they both sat down, Quinn placing the plate in the middle of them on the table and reaching over for her coffee.

'But it's alright,' Mr Schu assured them. 'We're all really happy for you.'

'Thanks Mr Schu.' Quinn grinned at him. 'We're happy too.' She sipped her coffee as she glanced at the brunette beside her. Santana had picked up some crispy bacon and was nibbling on it, the idea of food only seemed to make Santana sick lately so Quinn was glad she was trying. And now that everyone knew it would be easier, right? They wouldn't have to leave the room if they wanted to kiss, or make sure nobody was looking before they could hold each other's hands. It would all be better now. Quinn smiled to herself as she looked around the table. Everyone seemed in good spirits. Even Sam, who this was probably the biggest shock to, looked like he was okay. Smiling a big smile as he talked to Mercedes about something. And then Quinn felt her hand being moved under the table. Santana had wrapped her hand around Quinn's as it lay idly on her lap, the smaller girl then proceeding to rest her head on the blonde's shoulder. Oh yeah, Quinn could get used to this.


	40. Chapter 40

**hey guys, hopefully this chapter will add a new, interesting dimension to the story. **

**Let me know what you think! :)xx**

* * *

><p><strong>Lucy Quinn Fabray<strong>

They went straight to rehearsal after breakfast. Thankfully Santana had managed to eat a fair bit, which Quinn was happy about. Now the blonde didn't have to force feed her anything. Santana still wasn't able to perform, her injured hand would have made her sit out anyway, but on top of everything else it was just too much. So she sat on the floor in the middle of the rehearsal hall and she watched her friends run through their numbers for nationals. She was still so proud of everyone for making it into the final ten, she just hoped that what she was seeing would be enough to secure them the championship. At about ten forty everyone stopped for a drink and a rest, Quinn panting as she made her way over to her girlfriend. She slumped down on the floor beside her as the brunette laughed. 'Tired?'

'Hell yeah, it's exhausting.' Quinn informed her as she tried to catch her breath. 'How do we look?'

'Well, you're dancing is like all over the place. Everyone's vocals sound a little off as well, like out of tune. It's genuinely painful to listen to….' She smiled, Quinn sitting up before giving her a playful slap on the thigh.

'San!' Quinn laughed back at her. 'Helpful criticism only.'

'I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.' She laughed once more before clearing her throat. 'Seriously, you guys look awesome. I just wish I was up there with you.'

'I know, I wish that too.' Quinn pulled her into a sideways hug. 'But you know this is for the best.'

'I do.' Santana agreed, pecking her on the lips. She pulled away and looked into beautiful green orbs. 'So you have to kick ass for the both of us.'

'Deal.' Quinn winked as Mr Schu called them back to the stage.

'That's your cue babe.' Santana reminded her, the blonde seemingly lost in thought.

'I know, I just wanted to look at you for a bit longer.' Santana blushed.

'Well, I will be right here when you're done.' Santana kissed her once more, their embrace broken by the blonde a few moments later.

'Promise me something.' Quinn said, licking her lips.

'Anything.' Santana agreed before knowing what it was.

'That no matter what happens, like when we get home, that you'll never leave.' Quinn played with the material at the bottom of Santana's top.

'I will not leave you, ever.' Santana said firmly, pulling Quinn's face back up to hers and kissing her once more. They were then disturbed by a shadow, made by the lights from the wall behind them, as it darkened their world.

'Excuse me,' the voice said, both girls looking up at the figure.

'Dad!' Quinn jumped up, eyes widening at the terrifying sight of her father. This could not be happening.

'Quinn.' He said coldly, turning his eyes back down to the girl still sitting on the floor. Quinn saw this and was quick to grab Santana's left hand, pulling her up and behind her.

'What.. What are you doing here?' She asked, Santana hearing the panic in her voice.

'I came to see you perform. I missed the first round and I wanted to come early for the second one and surprise you.'

'That's great dad, thank you.' Quinn felt Santana shuffle behind her, the grip she had on Quinn's hand tightening, letting her know she was there for her.

'I think, now, that I might have made a mistake.' Russell Fabray began to walk away from them, Quinn unable to stop the tears that came to her eyes.

'Dad, no, come on.' She released Santana's hand and went to stop him. The entire glee club had overheard the interaction and was watching silently, Mr Schuester not sure whether he should help or not. Quinn touched her father's arm, causing him to spin around as the blonde stepped backwards. Santana was once again at her back and Quinn appreciated the supportive touch she gave her.

'Do. Not. Touch. Me.' He glared at her, a single tear spilling down her face. Mr Fabray wasn't a large man, but he was intimidating. The two don't always go hand in hand, that is, he didn't need to be big to be shit scary. Quinn knew this from living with him, her mother simply let everything slide because he was rich and bought her things. He had kicked Quinn out once already and she had a feeling it was about to happen again.

'Dad..' She whimpered. 'Can we talk about this, please?'

'No. We most certainly cannot talk about, this.' He spat, looking around Quinn and scanning Santana up and down. 'This is a problem Lucy Quinn Fabray, and we will fix it.' And with that he stalked off, throwing open the doors to the rehearsal hall and letting them slam behind him. The girls stood there in silence for several moments before Santana broke the silence.

'Are you okay?' She whispered from behind her girlfriend.

'N..no, I don't think I am.' She admitted.

'It's going to be alright Q. You know that don't you?' Santana walked around to face her, wiping some stray tears from her face.

'Sure, yeah.' Quinn tried to kid herself. 'It has to be okay.' Santana pulled her into a hug as Mr Schu walked over to them.

'Is everything alright guys?' He said, concern written all over his face as he gently placed a hand on Quinn's shoulder.

'No Mr Schu, it's not.' Santana said for her girlfriend.

'Is there anything I can do?'

'I appreciate that sir, but my dad knows everything now. He's not a very understanding man.' She smiled gripping Santana's hand tightly as she smiled weakly.

'Do you guys want to get out of here, talk about everything?'

'No, it's fine. We need to rehearse.' Quinn quickly wiped her tears and put on a smile. 'We've come too far Mr Schu, nothing is getting in the way of that first place spot.' She kissed Santana on the lips before hurrying back to the stage, Brittany giving her a hand up.

'Santana, promise me you'll find me if this all gets too much for you guys. I know what you're already dealing with, and now this, it's going to be hard.'

'I know Mr Schu, we can do it though.' He smiled sadly at her. 'But I promise we'll come to you if we need you.' He gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze before jogging back up onto the stage.

'Okay guys, from the top of the second song.'

Santana sat back on the floor. For some reason she felt exhausted. She knew Russell Fabray. She knew that this wasn't over and that he wouldn't just let it go. She felt now more that ever that she had to try and get all of her shit out of the way and help Quinn deal with hers. It wasn't fair on her girlfriend. Quinn had practically given up her entire trip, looking after her and keeping her safe. No way would Santana let that jackass of a father make Quinn's life hell. Santana decided in that moment that she would be better, stronger. She had to be for Quinn's sake because the blonde did not need her having panic attacks every five minutes if she was going to get her dad off her back. All Santana needed now, was to find out how the hell she was going to pull it off.


	41. Chapter 41

**You Cant Protect Me All Of The Time**

Quinn hadn't said anything since rehearsal finished. Mr Schu had said that everyone could go out shopping, to make the most of the city before their trip came to an end. Santana used this as a chance to get Quinn out of the hotel and to hopefully get her talking. They were walking hand in hand down the long road where the hotel was located, all of the other glee members running off to the nearest mall. They were alone. The fresh air also helped, Santana really needed to clear her head and she thought Quinn could use a break from everything. They walked passed stalls on the sidewalks, some filled with brightly coloured fabrics, others with little crappy tourist items. Santana was drawn to a stall covered with beads and intensely coloured jewellery. 'These are cool.' She said, pulling Quinn over to the stall with her.

'Yeah.' The blonde agreed, but Santana saw that the smile she was trying to show didn't reach her eyes. Santana picked one of the bracelets up. The band was thin white cotton, several silver and green beads scattered randomly along it. She looked at the prices on a piece of card at the top of the table and handed the man behind the stall five dollars. He smiled at her as she thanked him, Quinn staring at her the entire time.

'Come here.' Santana said as they walked away. She stopped the blonde after a few feet, spinning around to face her. Santana picked up Quinn's right arm, gently slipping the bracelet on over her hand.

'San..' She was cut off by a kiss, Santana pressing her body as close to Quinn's as she could get.

'It's gonna be okay Q.' Santana took both of the blonde's hands in her own, ignoring the pain shooting through her right hand as she did so. Quinn smiled at her.

'I know.' She replied, more convincingly than in the rehearsal hall earlier. 'Thank you.' She motioned to the bracelet, but meant about everything.

'Yeah, do you like it?' Santana looked down, blushing.

'I love it.' Quinn grinned, as they separated and began to stroll along the sidewalk once more.

'So, do you want to grab a coffee? Maybe we can sit and talk about what we're gonna do. When we get home I mean.'

'Yeah, how about over there?' Quinn pointed at a small coffee shop at the end of the street, Santana nodding as they walked towards it.

They were sitting opposite one another outside the coffee shop a few minutes later, Quinn cupping her hands around a latte whilst Santana poured sugar into her black coffee. 'I don't know how you can drink coffee like that.' Quinn looked down at the black murky liquid in Santana's cup.

'I dunno really, always have. Besides, milk only dilutes the coffee taste. I like it strong.'

'I can see that.' Quinn smiled, a strong wind causing her to shiver slightly.

'You okay?' Santana asked. 'We can go inside if you're cold.'

'No, I'm good.' Quinn changed the subject. 'You said we should talk.'

'Yeah, what…..' Santana paused. 'What do you want to do about your dad?' Quinn snorted. 'What?'

'I cant do anything about him Santana, he'll do whatever he feels necessary. You know my dad.'

'Yeah, but cant we at least try and talk to him.' Santana pleaded.

'Right okay, what the hell could I say that would make him understand?' She sipped her coffee.

'Well, we could always present the case that now you'll never get knocked up again.' Santana giggled, hiding behind her coffee as she took a swig of it. She could see Quinn smiling as she set it back down on the table.

'You're not funny Santana.' She lied.

'I am so funny,' the brunette replied, scooping some of the foam from the top of Quinn's latte. 'But seriously, you think talking to him would be a waste of time?'

'I do yeah.'

'So what about if we get home and he flips out?' Santana realised that this could get really bad.

'He will flip out. There's no if about it. He will flip out.'

'Then we need a plan.' Santana sat forward in her chair planting her elbows on the table.

'Why? what kind of plan?' Quinn didn't understand.

'Q, I'm not letting you go back into your house if, like you said, he's going to flip out. I'm not gonna risk you getting hurt over this.'

'San, you cant protect me all of the time.' Quinn stirred her coffee before looking up into Santana's eyes. And she had never seen them more serious.

'Yes I can Q.'

'Santana. He wont just hurt me. He knows you're involved, that we're…'

'Quinn shut up.' The blonde obeyed, staring at her. 'I'm not going to let him hurt you, or me. We're going to be fine.'

'S..' Santana cut her off by pulling her over the table into a kiss.

'We are going to be fine.' She repeated after she released Quinn from the embrace, the taller girl nodding as they both sat back in their chairs. Quinn smiled at her. 'What?'

'I don't get you San.'

'What isn't there to get? I'm awesome.' She smirked.

'Obviously.' Quinn agreed. 'But that's not what I mean.' Santana remained silent as she listened to her girlfriend. 'You are so determined on helping me, protecting me. But you wouldn't let anyone try to help you.'

'So?'

'So why?' This time Quinn was the one leaning forwards. 'Why didn't you want help when you so obviously needed it?' Santana sighed, running her hands through her hair before she answered.

'You know I used to think everything happened for a reason. Like anything that we were subjected to was meant to happen.' Quinn nodded, believing that to some extent herself. 'But then I was..' she swallowed. 'I was attacked.' The tears were making themselves present again as Santana said it out loud. 'I was attacked and there was no reason for it.'

'San..' Quinn reached out a hand which the Latina gratefully took.

'After that night I became a bitch. Plain and simple. Because I thought the world owed me something. I didn't give a shit about anything or anyone anymore because I wanted to get back what was taken from me. And apparently that just meant being a bitch to everyone.' She wiped her nose on the sleeve of her jacket as Quinn watched her. 'When I started having the nightmares and freaking out I didn't want anyone's help because I didn't deserve it. After all of the shit I had done that past year no one would have helped me and I had no right to ask them for it. Brittany was the only person I had been, well, civil to since it happened and only because she knew already.' Santana was crying now, full on as tears spread down her face 'I knew I didn't deserve anyone's help. But you, Quinn. You're good okay, you make everything better so I am going to help you. You do deserve someone to protect you and to look out for you. And that person is going to be me.' She smiled. Quinn looking back at her in awe. How could Santana think that about herself? Everyone deserved someone to be there for them, no matter what. Listening to this girl speaking so articulately about everything, like she had a perfect understanding about her life and what it was, Quinn couldn't help feeling so in love with her. Love. Quinn suddenly realised that she was drawn to Santana, more so now than ever, and it had nothing to do with feeling sorry for the brunette, or feeling the need to make her better and look after her. It was love. 'Quinn?' Santana said, snapping the blonde out of the thoughts.

'Huh?' She was momentarily disoriented.

'What's going on in that head of yours Q?' Santana smiled. Her tears had stopped now but their remnants still remained.

'Sorry, I was just… how can you believe that Santana?' The smaller girl shrugged.

'I just do. I mean there was no reason for what happened to me, so why should there be a reason for anyone to help me?'

'Everyone needs help San. And you can't believe for one second that you didn't deserve someone to help you.' They were locked in each others eyes, Santana finally coughing and breaking the stare as she released Quinn's hand to take up her coffee once more.

'So,' she changed the subject. 'Maybe I could just kick your dad's ass before he has that chance to kill us?'

'I think that might have to be plan B.' Quinn said sarcastically.

'Damn, okay so what do you propose?'

'Run away? Move to Australia? Travel to the far side of the moon?' Quinn smiled.

'All good options, but Australia?' Santana looked at her accusingly.

'What's wrong with Australia?'

'Big ass spiders, like the size of your head.' Santana informed her.

'Eww, right. How about Spain?'

'Better.' Santana approved. 'Sunny, beaches, you in a bikini. I'm game.' She grinned and then they both burst out laughing. After a few strange looks from the other coffee shop customers Quinn grabbed Santana's hand.

'Come on, lets get out of here.' She beamed, Santana laughing as she dragged her up form the table. Then they went back down the road towards the hotel. Both knowing that everything would be okay if they stuck together. Which is exactly what they were planning on doing.


	42. Chapter 42

**You Are Broken**

They arrived back at the hotel about half an hour later, taking their time to walk back down the road and taking in as much of New York as they could. Quinn purposefully took them back past the stall covered in jewellery so that she could buy Santana a bracelet. It matched hers completely apart from the colour, all of the beads were red instead of green. Overall the day was a success. If you missed out the part where Quinn's maniac father found her kissing another girl, of course. They walked back into the hotel smiling, something which both of them really needed to do more of, only for another black mark to tarnish their afternoon. 'Quinn.' Santana pulled on her sleeve, the blonde looking down at her feet as they emerged into the building.

'What is it? What's wrong?' Quinn studied Santana's face before she pointed her in another direction. 'Shit, okay. Just stay behind me alright.' Santana had a look of protest in her eyes but agreed for the moment, Quinn stepping in front of her as Russell Fabray made his way over to them. He had a bag in his hand so he was obviously checking out. So much for seeing her perform. He walked up to them, dropping his bag on the floor next to him without taking his eyes from Quinn.

'Quinn, I need to talk to you.' He glared at Santana. 'In private.' Quinn felt Santana's hand tighten around the material at the back of her shirt.

'No, I'm sorry dad but if you have something to say you'll say it to both of us.' Quinn looked into his eyes. They looked more ferocious than before, angrier and filled with some emotion resembling hate.

'Very well.' He growled. 'I am allowing you to remain here for one reason. I know how hard you have worked in this little club of yours. But, when you..'

'Wait, hold up a second.' Quinn put her hand up to stop him talking, only angering him further but she didn't really care. 'You're allowing me to stay here?'

'Yes. I am. I was thinking about pulling you out completely and taking you home now, but I know that would be unfair of me.'

'Your damn right it would.' Santana couldn't help herself. The words came out of her mouth before she could stop them, Mr Fabray shooting her an evil glare before she shrunk back behind Quinn and he continued.

'When you return home there will be some changes.'

'What kind of changes?' Quinn asked, fearing she knew what they would be but she needed to hear it from him.

'You will be grounded, until further notice. You will go to school and to church and come home again. This competition will be your last involvement in glee club until you learn what is right,' he looked at Santana once more. 'And what is not. No friends will be allowed over the house just as you will not be allowed out to theirs. And you will most definitely be forbidden from seeing her.'

'No. That's not fair.' Santana spat, moving to the side of Quinn as the anger built inside of her. Quinn managed to get a firm grip on her hand, squeezing it in an attempt to get her to calm down. But the stare she had going with Mr Fabray said that she wasn't backing down.

'She is my child, I will decide what is best for her.'

'I am what's best for her.' Santana grinned. Quinn watching her father's eyes darken.

'How dare you talk to me like this. You are the reason I have to fix her.' He pointed his finger at Santana, the Latina still just staring him down.

'Woah, dad, I'm not broken.' Quinn was getting angry now as well, not sure how much more of this she could take.

'Yes you are Quinn. And she has broken you.'

'Dad, stop!' Quinn yelled, tugging Santana back behind her. 'She is the best thing that's happened to me in, well, forever. You made me give up my child and I'm not going to let you make me give up Santana too.' She spoke firmly and directly, Santana smiling in the background. She had never been more proud of Quinn than in that moment, standing up to her father.

'You will do as I say Lucy.' Reverting back to her real name was never a good sign. 'Your mother and I worked hard to raise you right. You get yourself pregnant and we still took you back in with loving arms to help you. We rehabilitated you into a proper upstanding young lady and then you let this little whore corrupt you. Whether you believe it or not Lucy, you are broken. And I will fix you. I'll see you when you get home.' He picked up his bag and brushed past them. Quinn making sure to hold onto Santana tightly, preventing her from doing something stupid. They stood as statues for a few moments to process everything, Quinn only breaking from her trance when Santana stepped in front of her. Quinn looked into her eyes and could see that they were filled with all sorts of things. Worry, anger, fear, all of these things being portrayed through Santana's eyes. But then Quinn saw something else, guilt?

'Santana, why are you crying?' Quinn cupped her cheek as she saw a tear fall from her dark eyes.

'I'm sorry.' She whispered.

'It's not your fault San, you cant listen to him, okay?'

'Yeah, shit.' She sniffed, wiping her eyes. 'Are you okay?' Santana focused back on what was important.

'Yeah. Well, considering.' Quinn smiled.

'At least he didn't kick you out.' Santana reminded her.

'That's true,' Quinn took her hand as they walked towards the elevators. 'Although I think I would rather him kick me out than forbid me to see you.'

'You know you can always come and live with me.' Santana said shyly as she scuffed her feet on the floor. The elevator was taking it's time getting to them.

'Seriously?' Quinn responded.

'Why not? I mean, I don't think my parents would mind. They like you.'

'I'll keep that in mind.' They stepped into the elevator pressing the button for the thirteenth floor.

'What are we going to do then?' Santana asked as they were walking the long corridor towards their room.

'I don't know.' Quinn sighed, pulling the room key out of her pocket. 'Maybe I could talk to my mum instead? See if she can get him to come around.'

'Okay, well I'm behind anything you choose okay.' Santana smiled, stroking the back of Quinn's hand.

'Thanks. Now we have,' Quinn took her phone out of her pocket. 'Two hours before dinner. What do you want to do?'

'Why don't we go inside and I'll tell you.' Santana smiled, watching as Quinn slid the key card into the door and then followed her inside.

'Okay, we're in.' Quinn stated the obvious, closing the door and then turning to face Santana. 'What did you…' She was cut off by the brunette's lips on her own. Santana kissing her passionately and fastening her hands behind Quinn's waist. 'Mmm,' Quinn pulled back smiling. 'I like this idea San.'

'I thought you might.' Santana winked, releasing the blonde but pulling her by the hand as they went further into the room. They lingered at the end of Santana's bed for a few moments, kissing each other again as the intensity grew. Santana couldn't help feeling like she needed this. A burning inside of her that was begging for Quinn to love her, little did she know that the blonde already did.

'San, San wait.' Quinn pulled back again, confusion riddled Santana's face as she was sat on the end of her bed.

'What is it Q?' She said, wiping her mouth and catching her breath.

'I just, before we go any further I need to tell you something.' Quinn sat on the bed facing Santana.

'Quinn, you're kind of freaking me out right now.' Santana laughed nervously.

'I..' Quinn brushed some hair from Santana's cheek, gently tucking it behind her ear. 'I love you, Santana.' She smiled. Santana was taken aback by this statement. Quinn loved her. She almost forgot to breathe in that moment. Until Quinn wiped another tear from her face. 'You're crying again.'

'I know, I'm sorry.' Santana spluttered the words out before grabbing Quinn's hands and looking into her eyes. 'I love you too Q.' They both laughed as their faces collided once more, Santana grabbing Quinn's waist as the blonde tangled her fingers in Santana's hair. This time Santana was the one to pull back, looking down at herself with Quinn watching contently. Santana then lifted her shirt over her head to reveal all of her marks. Quinn studied them before pulling Santana into a hug, tracing a finger down the longest of the scars. Santana pushed her back, kissing her again as she felt Quinn's hands rest gently on her hips. Then Quinn started to move forwards, almost lifting Santana up as she forced the brunette gently down towards the head of the bed. Somehow it ended up with Quinn on top, but just this once Santana didn't mind. Quinn stopped momentarily. Partially because they needed to breath but Quinn felt she was severely overdressed. She lifted her top over her head, allowing her blonde hair to fall over her face and around her neck. 'You are so beautiful.' Santana stated, looking up at this blonde creature straddling her.

'Right back at you San.' Quinn pressed her body back down over Santana's, kissing her face and neck. Santana then felt Quinn's hands go somewhere else. Quinn was running her hand over Santana's stomach. Quinn could feel every mark, every stain that was permanently etched into her skin. And she didn't care. She moved her body down the bed and began kissing them. Each individual scar was given her full attention. Santana occasionally giggling because she was very ticklish on her stomach. Quinn's eyes were then drawn to Santana's jeans, which she thought really needed to be off.

'Can I?' Quinn asked, motioning to her belt. Santana nodded, breathing out slowly as Quinn undid the buckle. 'Relax. It's just me and you.' Quinn smiled, kissing her once more as he fumbled with Santana's belt.

'I know, it's uh, just been a while.' Santana smiled.

'Just try not to impregnate me. I'm pretty sure that would be bad for our first time.' Santana burst out laughing, her left hand going to her forehead.

'Oh my God!' She laughed, Quinn finally getting the belt undone. Santana lifted her hips up to help the blonde out and a few moments later Quinn was throwing the leather material onto the floor. The next thing Santana knew, Quinn had undone her jeans. Wiggling them down her thighs and calves until they were on the floor next to her belt.

'So,' Quinn said, planting light kisses on Santana's stomach. 'What do we do now?'

'Well, I think you have far to many clothes on.' Santana grinned, Quinn kneeling once more to unbutton her own jeans. 'Off. Now.' Santana ordered, grinning as she watched the beauty in front of her.

'Hold your horses San, we don't want to rush this.' Quinn stopped after her top button was undone and lent back over Santana, kissing her harder than before as she caressed the back of her neck. Santana was lifted up by Quinn and she didn't protest. Both girls kneeling on the bed as they kissed. But then something made Quinn stop.

'What?' Santana said, catching her breath and stroking the back of Quinn's hair.

'Are you sure you're good with this? We don't have to if you still feel uncomfortable.'

'Quinn, I want to be with you. Completely.' Santana smiled at her. 'I want to do this so please don't think that you're pressuring me or anything. Like I said before, I wants in those pants of yours.'

'Okay,' Quinn laughed. 'Then in these pants you shall be.' Quinn went back to her jeans, getting up from the bed to get them off properly. Then something else stopped her. A knock on the door.

'Who the hell is that!' Santana sighed in frustration as Quinn did up her jeans and threw her top back on. Santana got up and did the same, not wanting to be in her underwear if whoever it was decided to come in. Quinn reached the door and opened it, greeted by some grinning glee clubbers.


	43. Chapter 43

**Flickering Lights**

Brittany bounced into the room cheerfully, followed by all of the glee girls. She jumped onto the bed beside Santana, pulling her into a big hug as everyone filed into the room. 'Can we help you guys with something?' Quinn asked them, moving back to sit on the bed with her girlfriend.

'We just wanted to hang out before dinner.' Mercedes informed them, but then she studied the room. Particularly the ruffled bed sheets. 'Did we interrupt something?' She grinned.

'Hell yes you interrupted.' Santana threw a pillow at her, laughing all the while as the other girls worked it out for themselves.

'Oh.' Tina realised, Quinn rolling her eyes as she positioned her head on Santana's shoulder.

'I think it's hot.' Brittany grinned, playing with a strand of Quinn's blonde hair.

'Scorching hot.' Santana planted a kiss on Quinn's cheek, all of the girls exchanging looks of amusement and awkwardness. 'Anyway,' the Latina continued. 'What's new with you guys?'

'Nothing really, you two are kind of filling the drama quota for this trip.' Tina pointed out, Quinn nodding in agreement.

'Yeah Quinn, what's up with your dad?' Lauren crossed her legs as she sat with Rachel on the adjacent bed.

'Well,' she sighed, running her hands through her hair as she crossed her legs on the bed. 'He said that when I get home things will change.'

'Change how?' Rachel sounded worried.

'No glee, no friends over, no going out, and no Santana.' She gripped the brunettes hand tightly as Santana smiled sadly at her. 'He said I was broken.'

'That sucks.' Lauren said, all of the girls nodding. 'But you know it's not true Quinn. You're not broken.'

'Thanks Lauren, and yeah I know.'

'Hold up there Q, he called me a whore and that's true.' She grinned at Quinn, the blonde playfully slapping her knee.

'He called you a whore?' Brittany looked at Santana.

'Yeah, I kind of get the feeling he doesn't like me.'

'Santana, this isn't a joke. And you're not a whore.' Quinn looked down, playing with the white bed sheets underneath her.

'I know that babe. We're gonna get through this.' Santana lifted Quinn's chin and kissed her gently on the lips.

'Damn straight we will.' Quinn smiled, gently tugging on Santana's hair, bringing the smaller girl towards her and joining their faces once more. They pulled apart moments later, Santana biting her lower lip before clearing her throat and looking around at the other girls. Rachel was the first to break the silence.

'What about you San?'

'What about me?' Santana looked genuinely confused.

'You know, your thing?' Rachel motioned to the Latina's wounded hand.

'Oh, I guess I forgot. Erm, it's been fine since the alley incident.' She tried to flex her left hand but it was still sore.

'That's good, right?' The diva continued. 'Maybe the nightmares have stopped.' She smiled.

'Maybe.' Santana sighed.

'What's wrong?' Tina asked, leaning forwards in her chair.

'It hasn't even been two weeks yet.' She smiled at them but her eyes didn't.

'Last year it didn't stop for a month.' Brittany informed them.

'Yeah, so there's plenty of time for a few more meltdowns.' She looked down as Lauren looked around the room.

'So it's like really depressing in here.' She stated bluntly, a few laughs echoing throughout the room. 'Why don't we go down to the bar and get our drink on?' She grinned.

'How exactly do we do that?' Mercedes looked at her accusingly, knowing they would never pass for twenty-one.

'Okay then, get our diet coke on, whatever. Can we please just get out of here?'

'That sounds like a good idea Lauren. Why don't you guys go ahead and Santana and I will get changed and come find you.'

'Okay, don't be long.' Rachel said, bouncing off of the bed and heading towards the door. Brittany was the last one out, winking at them as she closed the door.

'Finally,' Quinn said, practically jumping onto Santana and kissing her fiercely.

'Woah… Q…' Santana mumbled between kisses. 'Hold up.' She pushed the blonde gently backwards, wiping her lips as Quinn looked slightly confused.

'I'm sorry, did I do something? Did I hurt your hand?' Quinn was suddenly panicking.

'No, Quinn you're perfect. I'm just not really in the mood any more.' Quinn sighed, picking up both of Santana's hands tentatively. 'Sorry.' Santana whispered.

'It's okay.' Quinn smiled, her legs still straddling Santana's lower half. 'I told you this wasn't just about sex and I mean it, okay? So it's fine.' She leaned towards Santana and kissed her. 'Lets get changed and go meet the guys.'

'Sounds good.' Santana smiled. 'Thanks.'

'Sure. Now come on.' She hopped off of the bed. 'Maybe there'll be a hot bartender for you to flirt with, get us some proper drinks.'

'Fabray, are you trying get me to use some poor innocent man for his alcohol?' Santana replied sarcastically, sitting up and slinging her legs over the bed.

'Would I ever ask such a thing?' Quinn grinned, standing over Santana as their playful conversation continued.

'No.' Santana concluded. 'But I would do it for you anyway, because I love you.' She smiled, Quinn gripping the back of her neck as she pulled the Latina to her feet, kissing her deeply.

'I love you too.'

'Good. Now hurry up and change. The guys are waiting.' Santana watched her girlfriend walk into the bathroom, smiling all the while.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later both girls were walking down the hall hand in hand. Quinn's light pink dress swaying as she walked, Santana next to her in tight fitting black genes and a dark blue vest top. They were chatting about something as they headed for the elevator, when the lights started to flicker on and off. 'Weird,' Quinn looked up. 'Do you think we're heading for a power cut tonight?' She felt her girlfriends hand tense around her own, Quinn turning to her when she didn't respond. 'San?' Santana simply shook her head, looking at the blonde with a nervous expression. Quinn stopped, turning to face her. 'Do you want to talk about it?'<p>

'Not really, no.' Santana looked around her, almost like she was waiting for something to happen.

'Well we cant take the lift if the power keeps dying, come on.' She took Santana's hand and led her towards the stairs. Every now and then, when the lights went off, Santana's hand squeezed Quinn's slightly higher. They reached the door to the stairs, Quinn going through first and practically leading Santana as though she had only just learnt to walk. And Quinn could feel how cold she was. 'San, talk to me.' Quinn pleaded as they reached about the eighth floor.

'I'm fine Q.' Santana said, her left hand painfully gripping onto the hand rail as they went down, her other one still attached to Quinn's.

'You're not fine Santana.' Quinn was about to protest further but the lights went completely out. They had reached the seventh floor landing and Santana had suddenly planted her back against the wall, tearing away from Quinn as she did so. 'Santana!' Quinn was quickly by her side but all the brunette did was shake her head repeatedly.

'No, Q. I'm… I'm fine.' Her teeth clenched as she said it, her body pressing as far into the wall as it could go.

'Please stop saying that, let me help you.' Quinn was close to tears now, not understanding Santana's resistance to her.

'The, the lights.' Santana began. 'I remember,' she swallowed hard as she stared Quinn right in the eyes. 'Flickering lights. It was pretty much all I could see when they..' A tear fell from her face.

'Okay, I get it San. What can I do?'

'Nothing.' She let out a breath. 'Please just, go downstairs.'

'San..' Before she could say anything Santana interrupted her.

'Please! Find the guys, wait for me. I.. I promise I'll try not to be to long.' She smiled gingerly.

'Okay.' Quinn agreed, wanting to kiss her and hug her and tell her everything would be fine. But she knew she couldn't without risking her further distress. So she walked slowly backwards and continued down the stairs.


	44. Chapter 44

**I Cant Feel A Thing**

'Hey Q, take your time why don't you. We were getting worried for a minute there.' Tina joked, all of the glee girls minus herself and Santana sitting around a table in the lounge with cokes or glasses of juice. But as the blonde got closer they could see the worry and tears in her eyes.

'What's wrong?' Rachel asked, Quinn pulling up another chair and sitting down before she answered.

'Is it Santana?' Brittany asked.

'Yeah.' Quinn confirmed, wiping her nose on a napkin.

'Where is she?' Mercedes looked behind her, no sign of the missing glee girl.

'She um, had another freak out.'

'Is she okay? Did you leave her in the room?'

'No Brit, we were walking down to meet you guys when it happened. The lights on our floor and all down the stairs were flickering on and off. Then they went out completely.'

'Yeah we were in here. They've come back on now though.' Lauren stated the obvious.

'So where is she?' Rachel questioned.

'Still on the stairs.'

'So what, you just left her there?' Brittany glared at her.

'Santana asked me to go.' Quinn sniffed loudly before continuing. 'Do you think I like this? Not being able to help her when she needs it the most? You really think I would have left her there by choice?'

'No, Q, I'm sorry.' Brittany said quietly, sinking down into her chair.

'Well what the hell happened anyways?' Tina wanted to know.

'The lights. She told me she remembered flickering lights. Brit did she mention anything about lights last year? Or in therapy? She said you went with her sometimes.' Quinn looked at her friend desperately.

'Yeah.' She sighed.

'Brittany what?' Mercedes took a sip of her coke, all of their attentions focused on Brittany.

'We were sitting with her therapist. It must have been about a month after it had happened. And Santana said something like 'they kept turning the lights out.' We didn't know what the hell that meant and she didn't explain it to anyone. Until…' Brittany drifted off in the memory.

'Until what B?' Quinn pleaded.

'Until we got back to her house that night. She begged me to stay with her and after I agreed she told me.' Brittany sipped her water quickly, her mouth suddenly feeling dry. 'She said that when they had her on the ground, the only thing she could really see clearly was a street lamp. It was obviously broken because it kept flickering on and off.'

'Why was that important though B?' Quinn needed to know, getting impatient wouldn't help anyone but she couldn't handle not being able to help her girlfriend.

'Every time the light went out, they cut her. I don't think they intended it to be that way but that's how it was. The light would go out and the pain would start. When the light came back on the pain was over. That's why she reacted to the lights going on and off. It's the same with her nightmares. When she's asleep, her entire world is dark.'

'Shit, that's heavy.' Lauren said, looking over to Quinn who was practically crying.

'So she associates darkness with pain?' Tina asked, not quite sure how Brittany of all people made them understand it.

'Sometimes, yeah.' Brittany said sadly. 'I remember once when she tried to stay awake for a whole week to avoid the darkness.'

'Did it work?' Rachel asked.

'Of course it didn't work.' Brittany looked at her accusingly. 'She passed out after almost three days and we couldn't wake her up for like twenty hours.'

'Shit.' Mercedes turned to Quinn. 'Did she not want your help? Like at all?'

'No.' Quinn cried. 'And I don't know why.'

* * *

><p>Santana was still stuck. Back to the wall and her body unwilling to move. 'Shit, come on! She spat through clenched teeth, banging her fist on the wall behind her. 'It was a fucking power surge get over it.' She willed herself to move. The lights were back on now anyway so she could do this. She had told herself that she would be stronger. Quinn couldn't be there all of the time and the girl had her own crap to deal with, so Santana needed to be better. She needed to figure out a way to beat this thing, on her own. After several minutes of nothing happening, Santana tried a different approach. She placed one of her feet back against the wall and pushed, hoping that the leverage would set her body in motion. A few short breaths later and she lurched forwards, hands gripping the rails in front of her. 'Yes!' She cried, pleased at this smallest of accomplishments. But then the tears over took her. She was breathing heavier now, panting almost, and she could feel the panic attack coming on. Gripping the rails tightly she began to count. 'One.' She exhaled, closing her eyes. 'Two… Three…. Four….' She relaxed, but her body was still shaking slightly. Her eyes snapped open moments later and she began to put one foot in front of the other. She was walking.<p>

* * *

><p>It seemed like an eternity for Santana to reach the lounge where the girls were sitting. She was walking with her hands down by her sides, clenched into fists as she tried to work through more small shakes. She saw them sitting at the table, worried looks on all of their faces as they looked her way. 'Santana.' Quinn sounded relieved, getting up and walking over to the brunette. 'Are you okay?' She asked, motioning to throw her arms around the girl, only to have Santana flinch back.<p>

'I'm sorry.' She whispered, casting her eyes down to the floor.

'Hey, it's okay.' Quinn smiled as Santana looked back up at her. Quinn also noticed that she was shaking. 'Are you alright?' She repeated.

'Yeah, no problem.' Santana tried to grin at her, only for her fists to clench once more.

'San..' Quinn studied her face, tears glistening in her eyes but the blonde didn't push her. 'Come and sit down.' Santana nodded, following Quinn over to the table but making sure not to touch her.

'Hey San.' Brittany smiled weakly at her as she sat down.

'Hey B, guys.' She smiled at them. Their eyes almost burning holes in her as they stared with such concern.

'Do you want a drink?' Tina asked, looking towards the bar.

'No, thanks.' She smiled again. 'I think anything will just make me throw up at the moment.'

'Okay.' Tina then looked over to Rachel who took over.

'Do you want to talk about it?' Santana, Brittany and Quinn all shot the diva a stern look.

'Why are you so hung up on me talking about everything?' Santana asked her emotionlessly.

'I just think it will help.' Rachel replied, playing with the straw in her drink.

'Why? What could it possibly do for me?'

'You can get it out.' Rachel looked up at her. 'Maybe if you tell us..'

'What Rachel!' Santana snapped. 'What could you possibly do?' She clenched her fists once more. All of the girls watching their exchange silently.

'San, calm down. Please.' Quinn whispered in her ear gently as she started to shake more.

'Santana, I didn't.. I just wanted to..' Rachel didn't know want to say now.

'I know.' Santana sighed, looking down at her shaking hands. 'But what do you want me to say?' She whispered. 'You want me to tell you how much it hurt?' She looked back up into Rachel's tear stricken eyes. 'You want me to tell you how I tried to scream, and how much I cried?'

'San, you don't..' Rachel began, the Latina quickly cutting her off.

'You want me to sit here and re-live that first moment, when he put that knife to my skin and pressed down?'

'Santana, stop.' Quinn pleaded, placing a hand gently down over the top of Santana's. Santana only flinched for a second before gripping onto Quinn tightly. All of the glee girls were looking around awkwardly, not sure what to do or say. Brittany sat fiddling with her hands as they rested on her lap, having heard all of this before.

'I..' Santana began, a tear falling down her face as she stared at the table blankly. 'I remember seeing blood.' She sniffed. 'My blood. It was like a tiny river.' She laughed abruptly, causing everyone to jump. 'I saw it flowing away down a drain. Right beside me, I saw it go and I couldn't get it back.' She sobbed quietly, her laughter being pushed away by fear. They all saw it in her eyes as she looked back up at them.

'Santana, you don't need…' Quinn started but once again the crying girl interrupted her.

'No Q, apparently I do. Rachel wants to know right? Wants me to talk about it? Well I'm telling her.'

'Santana please stop.' Rachel whispered.

'What's the matter Berry? Too much for you? How about this then,' She picked up butter knife from the middle of the table.

'What are you doing?' Lauren asked, watching the girl curiously.

'I'm showing Berry what that night did to me.' And then she began pushing the knife into her own skin, half way up the lower part of her right arm.

'Santana!' Quinn tried to take the knife away from her but it was too late. A small trickle of blood ran down her arm.

'Santana, stop it. You're hurting yourself.' Rachel looked into her eyes.

'I can't feel a thing.' She whispered, looking back into Rachel's dark pools. She finally released her death grip on the knife, allowing Quinn to take it from her and then placing a napkin over the cut. 'I don't talk about it because it hurts too fucking much. I hate the fact that I can do that to myself. I hate what they did to me because it makes me feel pathetic.' She never broke eye contact with Rachel. 'Most of the time, when I think about it, I would rather be dead than have these memories, than go through this every god damn day of my life. So please Rachel, do not ask me to talk about it again.' She gritted her teeth as she spoke, looking right into the diva's eyes as she did so.

'I wont.' She replied quietly.

'Come on San. Lets go.' Quinn kissed her gently on the shoulder, seeing another shake rock through her body.

'Yeah.' She replied weakly, letting the blonde lead her away from everyone. Santana didn't say a word all the way back to their room. But as soon as Quinn closed the door behind them she broke down. Sliding down the nearest wall and crying her heart out. Quinn slid down next to her, holding her and rocking her slowly as she sobbed uncontrollably. It was going to be another long night.


	45. Chapter 45

**It's Not Okay **

Santana woke up the next morning and reached out to turn her alarm clock around. Four am. She groaned quietly as she rolled over and looked at the sleeping blonde beside her. She smiled to herself as she watched her. Quinn looked so peaceful as she slept soundly, occasionally moving her head from side to side. Santana then stared up at the ceiling as she ran her hand through her hair, resting it on her forehead for a moment before getting quietly up. She lifted the sheets off of herself and then tiptoed to the bathroom, careful not to wake her girlfriend. Quinn was up with her until midnight trying to calm her down. She didn't even know what the fuck happened last night. She got mad at Rachel for no reason, she cut herself. Which she hadn't done for well over a year now. So what the hell was it? She locked the bathroom door behind her and turned to face herself in the mirror. The bags under her eyes had gotten bigger, her face looked dry and flushed. Why the hell was Quinn with her? And she had gone back on what she promised herself. She said she would be stronger. She said she would be better, for Quinn. Last night she was far from better. She was weak and mean and her friends didn't deserve to be spoken to like that. She ran the cold tap and splashed water over her face, knowing she should probably shower but it was still early. Very early. So she would wait. She dried her face and stared at herself once more. She was thin, she thought. Even skinnier than she had been a few weeks ago and she knew it wasn't attractive. 'Come on Santana, you're stronger than this.' She whispered to herself, her knuckles turning white as she gripped onto the sink. A tear fell from her eye. Quickly wiping it away before slamming her hand back down onto the sink. 'Fuck. Come on.' She said louder, quickly silencing herself as not to wake Quinn up. She sighed as she threw the towel back over the bathtub and then headed out of the room. Unlocking the door she was met by an awake Quinn, sitting up with her back leaning against the wall.

'Morning.' She smiled.

'Hey.' Santana replied quietly, moving to get back into the bed. 'Why are you up?'

'I heard you swearing at yourself in the bathroom.' Quinn grinned.

'Damn it, I'm sorry.' Santana closed her eyes and put her head back, only to have them opened a few moments later by the feel of Quinn's hand running up her arm.

'It's okay San.'

'No it's not.' Santana sighed, looking into her eyes. 'And I'm sorry about last night. I don't know what came over me, I just…' She paused. 'I was just angry, for some reason, and I took it out on you guys.'

'It's not that big of a deal Santana, we all understand.'

'Q, I know. But I shouldn't have reacted the way I did.'

'You did freak Rachel out, a lot.' Quinn smiled at her again.

'Yeah, I think I have some apologising to do there.' Santana admitted.

'I think you do. But don't worry okay. Rachel's cool and she'll understand.' Quinn assured her. Santana smiled at her, leaning in to kiss her gently on the lips before Quinn continued. 'Why didn't you want me to help you? In the stairwell, I could have stayed with you.'

'I know, but..'

'And don't feed me that bull about you not deserving it. I want a real reason.' Quinn sat up and crossed her legs, wrapping the duvet around her shoulders as she paid full attention to the Latina.

'Fine.' Santana sat up as well so that they were facing each other. 'I wanted to be better for you.' Santana looked down, picking at the sheets with her hands.

'What?' Quinn was half confused but half impressed, not sure which feeling to address first.

'I wanted to make myself better for you Quinn. You shouldn't have to keep scraping me up from the floor every time I panic. You shouldn't have to put me to bed at night and sit around just in case I..' She laughed, looking at her hand. 'In case I punch a damn wall.'

'Santana.' Quinn lifted her chin up, water glistening in her girlfriends eyes. 'You are so sweet.' She smiled. 'But you're also incredibly stupid.' She laughed, Santana exhaling and joining in after a few moments.

'I'm sorry.' Santana sighed, reaching over for Quinn's hand and entwining their fingers.

'Just talk to the girls, tell them you're sorry for yelling or whatever and,' She pulled Santana closer to her. 'And for the love of god, stop apologising to me.'

'Okay.' Santana agreed.

'Now, it is half past four in the morning, can we please go back to sleep.'

'Anything you want.' Santana grinned, Quinn pulling her down and wrapping her arms around her stomach. 'Q?'

'Yeah San.' Quinn whispered, kissing the top of her head.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.' Quinn snuggled down into Santana, gently resting her hand on her stomach as she drifted back off to sleep.

* * *

><p>Their alarm clock went off a few hours later, Santana viciously slapping it off as Quinn stretched. 'Breakfast?' Quinn asked.<p>

'God yes.' Santana smiled, running into the bathroom to shower before the blonde had the chance to.

'Hey!' Quinn laughed. 'Hurry your ass up.' She shouted after her as she rummaged through her suitcase for clean clothes, pulling out a patterned white skirt and blue vest top. Santana emerged ten minutes later with wet hair and a towel wrapped around her.

'All yours babe.' She smiled, walking over to Quinn and pulling her into a long kiss.

'Great, I really need a shower. Some crazy girl was crying over me all night.' She winked at Santana as she skipped past her into the bathroom. Santana grinned as she blow-dried her hair, quickly pulling it up into a messy ponytail as soon as it was dry enough. She then pulled on a pair of loose tracksuit bottoms and a top with a sports logo on it. She really couldn't be bothered to make an effort.

'Ready.' Quinn said, walking out of the bathroom with her hair and make up done.

'Damn Q. You're making me feel a little under-dressed here.' Quinn grinned, throwing her pyjamas down onto their unmade bed.

'I think you look cute.' She kissed Santana's cheek and then pulled her out of the room.

* * *

><p>'Morning guys.' Mr Schu greeted them as they were, once again, last to arrive at the table.<p>

'Morning.' The girls replied in unison, sitting down after getting two cups of coffee. They all watched as Santana poured five sugars into the black liquid in front of her. Quinn elbowed her in the ribs after a few moments, making her look up. She noticed all of them staring. 'What?'

'The girls told us what happened yesterday, you know when the power cut out.' Puck informed her. She sighed as she stirred her coffee.

'I know, okay.' She looked up at them. 'I'm sorry.' She looked directly at Rachel. 'I'm sorry.' She said. It was the most sincere Rachel had ever heard her as she looked back at her tired face. 'I got, weird, last night. I didn't mean to take it out on you guys or shout at you. I honestly don't know what was going through my head.'

'Santana it's okay.' Rachel said, everyone else watching. Not sure what they were waiting for but it was Rachel and Santana. Who knows what could go down between those two.

'It's not okay. You guys have been really, really great to me and you didn't deserve that.' She looked around at all the glee girls. 'So all of you, I'm really sorry.'

'We forgive you Santana.' Mercedes smiled at her, taking her hand gently as it rested on the table.

'Thanks.' The brunette whispered, looking down at her lap as she felt Quinn give her knee a reassuring squeeze.

'Erm Santana?' She looked over to her teacher.

'Yeah Mr Schu.'

'The girls also told us about, what you did with the knife.' She looked at her arm. Quinn had put a large plaster over it last night so she had almost forgotten it was there.

'That was nothing you guys, it was stupid and I was just angry. I don't know why I did it.'

'Yeah, San hasn't done that for ages.' She heard some murmurs from around the table. Everyone putting down their eating utensils and looking in the Latina's direction. She even felt Quinn's hand pull away from her.

'What?' Quinn said quietly. 'You've….. you've done that before.'

'Thanks a lot B.' She looked at the dancer who had shrunk down into Artie's lap. Santana sighed, knowing it wasn't Brittany's fault. She wouldn't have been able to hide it forever. 'It was a long time ago. Okay. Last night was the first time since… I don't even remember it was so long ago.'

'But it's over now right?' Mr Schu looked at her, concern written all over his face.

'Yes Mr Schu, I promise.' She smiled sweetly at them all before motioning for them to continue with their breakfast. She then turned to Quinn, not enjoying the look of shock and hurt on her girlfriends face. 'Q, please don't be mad at me.'

'I'm not mad Santana.' Quinn went back to her coffee, thinking about going up to the buffet.

'Q, please..' Santana whispered into her ear, taking the blonde's hand in her own.

'I'm not mad Santana.' She repeated, and then she did get up, taking her hand with her and leaving Santana with worried stares from Rachel and Brittany.


	46. Chapter 46

**I'm Such An Asshole**

Quinn hardly said two words to her after breakfast. Santana sat on the floor again in the rehearsal hall as she watched them perform. They only really had today and tomorrow to practice for the competition on Friday so Mr Schu had them stay for an extra hour with a break in the middle. Even during the break Santana ended up talking to Rachel and Tina, Quinn pretending like she needed help with the choreography so she spent the whole session attached to Brittany. Mr Schu finally let them go off on their own, Santana following Quinn back up to their room. And as soon as Santana closed the door after them she began. 'Quinn please talk to me. I'm sorry okay, I didn't think I needed to tell you…' Quinn turned to face her, hurt flashing across her face more so than anger.

'You didn't think you needed to tell your girlfriend that you used to cut yourself?' She almost laughed.

'Q, I'm sorry.'

'Yeah you said that.' Quinn walked over to the bed and sat down on it. 'Why didn't you tell me San?' Quinn asked, the tone of her voice softening.

'I,' Santana moved to sit next to her before continuing. 'I didn't want you to know.'

'Why not?'

'Because that wasn't a particularly good time for me Q.' Santana ran her hand through her hair as she went on. 'Looking back on it, it's the part of my life I'm most ashamed of. And I thought you would think less of me if you knew.'

'Santana.' Quinn sighed. 'I don't think any less of you. And you really should of told me. Brittany knew.'

'Yeah, that's because Brittany saw me do it a few times.' Santana looked into Quinn's eyes as the blonde looked up at her.

'Didn't she try to stop you?'

'Of course she did. But it was pretty hard to get the razor from me when I locked myself in the bathroom.' She chuckled, Quinn nodding as she took Santana's hand.

'Why did you do it?'

'To try and make myself feel again.' Santana got up from the bed and pressed her back against the wall. 'After that night I was numb. I honestly couldn't feel anything. I know now that it was stupid but back then, not so much.'

'Where did you…?' Quinn started to ask but didn't need to finish. Santana lifted up her shirt and walked over to Quinn, so that she was standing right in front of her.

'If you look really close, the scars thin out as you get to the ends. They were my additions.' Quinn reached out her hand and traced it along one of the scars. Santana was right, they were thinner at the ends. 'That way, people wouldn't have any proof that I did it. They just looked like part of the scar.' Santana laughed, pulling her shirt back down and sitting back on the bed. 'People that do it on their wrists and arms are all attention seekers. I just did it to remind myself I was still alive. I never planned on Brittany knowing, or anyone knowing, but she walked in on me one day.'

'I bet that was a fun situation.' Quinn joked.

'Oh yeah, she ran crying to my mother and next thing I know they've set up a psyche evaluation for me.'

'But you're not crazy, remember?' Quinn rocked into her shoulder.

'Yeah, okay.' Santana replied sarcastically. 'Anyway,' she hopped back up off of the bed. 'I don't think my apology earlier was good enough for the girls, so I talked to Mr Schu and he said it would be okay if we all went to the movies today. My treat?' Santana offered her hand out to Quinn who smiled and took it.

'Sounds good San, lest go round them up.' She grinned as they left the room and went to pick everyone up.

The girls were walking out of the movie theatre about two hours later. All still laughing. Needless to say that they all enjoyed escaping into a comedy for a little while. After a few minutes they decided to find a coffee shop to have a drink, and ended up going to the same one Santana and Quinn had visited the other day. 'Here we are girls.' The waitress said, placing seven cups of various hot drinks on the table.

'Thank you.' A few of them replied in unison as she walked away smiling.

'That is still really wrong Santana.' Quinn motioned to her very black sugar loaded coffee.

'Yeah I don't like that coffee San.' Brittany agreed with Quinn.

'Well that's why you have hot chocolate B.' The Latina giggled, dipping her finger in the cream on Brittany's hot chocolate.

'Hey!' The blonde laughed, all of them enjoying their time out together.

'You really didn't need to spoil us like this Santana.' Rachel said, stirring her camomile tea.

'Yeah I kind of did. I still felt really crappy about the other day.'

'Well, thank you.' Rachel added as Santana blushed, Quinn squeezing her hand under the table.

'Erm Rachel?' Santana said. 'Can we talk for a second, in private?'

'Sure.' The diva replied, not too sure why but she obliged. The two girls then got up from the table and walked to the other side of the road. 'What's up San?'

'I just, really wanted to make sure you were okay. You know after what I said to you, what I did in front of you.' She kicked at the ground with her feet. 'You've seemed really quiet and I'm worried that I upset you.'

'Honestly Santana you did upset me.' Santana looked down but Rachel was quick to lift her chin up again. 'I had a cousin. You remind me a lot of her actually. And she used to cut herself.'

'Shit Rachel, I'm sorry.' Santana ran her hand through her hair and looked away from the smaller girl.

'It's okay Santana, I guess seeing you do that just brought up some old stuff.' Santana nodded.

'Wait, you said had a cousin?' Santana picked up on the past tense of the word as she turned to face the diva.

'Yeah, had. She died a couple of years ago.'

'Shit, I'm such an asshole.' Santana turned completely away from her, Rachel resting her hand on her shoulder as she talked to the girls back.

'You're not Santana. You didn't know. And she wasn't a proper cousin. She was one of those people you see at Christmas once every year so you associate them with your family. Honestly I hardly knew her.' She pulled Santana back around.

'How did she die?' Santana whispered, fearing she knew the answer.

'She killed herself.' Rachel admitted, seeing the tears form in the eyes of the girl before her. 'I guess it freaked me out seeing you like that because she only started with a few cuts. Like you. And I don't know what any of us would do if you ever..'

'Rachel, stop.' Santana closed her eyes. 'I wouldn't.'

'I know.' Rachel agreed. 'It just scared me.'

'I'm really sorry.' Santana apologised one more time before Rachel pulled her back across the road.

'Forget it okay, in the past.' She smiled, Santana nodding as they took their seats back at the table.

'Everything okay?' Quinn whispered in her ear.

'Yeah, I think so.' Santana smiled, Quinn grinning as she picked up her coffee.


	47. Chapter 47

**He Will Apologise To You**

They sat and talked for what seemed like hours, even though one hour hadn't passed yet. They were all nearly finished with their drinks so they asked the friendly waitress for their bill. But as she walked away from the table, it was shadowed by three large figures. 'Hi there ladies.' The first man said. Well when I say man, I mean teenager. They were probably only a little older than the glee kids themselves.

'Erm Hi.' Tina replied, not wanting to seem rude. But the guys just kept staring.

'Can we help you with something?' Lauren asked after a few moments of awkward silence.

'What? Can't some guys come over to say hi to some cute girls?'

'I guess they can.' Rachel agreed.

'Yeah and you just said it, so….' Santana pointed out, motioning for them to keep walking. She then looked up at the boy speaking. His mop of brown hair was falling down to his eyes, blue shirt un-tucked around black skinny jeans. The other two looked pretty much the same except the colours varied, and their hair was shorter.

'Wait a second.' He grinned. 'I've seen you before.' He pointed at Santana.

'I don't think so buddy, move along.'

'No I swear I have,' then he looked over to Quinn. 'You too.'

'Yeah man, we saw them sitting here together a couple of days ago.' One of the other boys said.

'That's right. We saw you here drinking coffee.' He winked at Quinn causing her to sink back in her chair, Santana's hand clasping tighter around her own.

'Wow, people drinking coffee. That is such a memorable moment. No wonder you cant get it out of your minds.' Santana said sarcastically, causing the boys grinning mouth to drop slightly.

'Actually, it wasn't so much the coffee drinking that we remembered.' He said, walking around the table slowly towards them, Santana's stomach tightening in a knot. 'It was the moment you pulled her over the table and kissed her.' He bent down whispering in Santana's ear.

'Hey, back the hell of.' Mercedes shouted, trying to remain calm and not cause a scene for everyone.

'Okay.' He stood back up, hands in a defensive position and went back over to his friends. 'I just think it was highly, highly inappropriate. Don't you guys?' He turned to his friends who nodded.

'What, aren't the minions allowed to talk?' Santana felt Quinn's hand tense in her own the moment she spoke.

'Sure they are. They can talk to me any time they want.' He stared at Santana. 'A disgusting dyke such as yourself however, needs to learn when to keep her mouth shut.'

'Okay, that's enough.' Lauren said, looking over at Quinn and Santana who were obviously uncomfortable with the situation. 'Can you leave us alone.'

'Yeah. Come on guys, they're not even worth our time.' They went to leave but the ringleader turned back to them. 'Oh, blondie.' He looked at Quinn. 'Come find me if you want to switch sides. I mean you're smoking hot so I wouldn't even care that you liked rugs when we got it on. So, ditch the bitch, and we can talk.' He winked at her just as Santana completely lost it.

'You little prick!' She yelled, flying out of her seat as he walked away. She shoved him in the back causing him to stumble forwards before turning to face her with angry eyes. 'You don't ever talk to her like that. You don't ever talk to anyone like that. Do you understand me?' She yelled, knowing that all of the glee girls were now standing, Quinn still rooted to the spot of her chair as she watched.

'Did you just touch me?' The boy said through gritted teeth.

'Damn right I did, and I'll knock your tiny narrow minded head off if you don't apologise to her.' She walked forwards and shoved him hard in the chest, only causing him to step back slightly. Then he laughed. Everyone sitting outside the coffee place now watching contently. So much for not causing a scene.

'Santana,' Quinn called. 'San, he's not worth it.'

'No he's not Q, but you are. And he will apologise to you.' She hadn't taken her eyes from the boy as she spoke.

'Oh I'm going to apologise?'

'Yes.' She shoved him once more, her lack of upper body strength not having the effect she wanted.

'See I don't think so baby dyke.' He walked towards her, nervousness rising up through her and making her stomach churn. Shit, not now. She really didn't want to have a panic attack in front of all of these people. But before she could even think about that he pushed her back. It felt harder than the ones she was dishing out but then again, he was a guy. She fell backwards onto the ground and crashed into one of the metal chairs used outside the shop.

'Hey!' They heard someone yell. It was the waitress returning with their bill. This was enough to make the boys flee. The waitress then made sure everyone was alright as Quinn went to help Santana up.

'Santana, you're shaking.' Quinn studied her with worried eyes.

'I know. I'm sorry.' She whispered. 'Please get me out of here.' Quinn nodded, seeing the tears in her eyes as she went back to the table. She paid the bill using money from Santana's purse, the Latina would have killed her if she used her own money, and then rounded up the girls and headed back to the hotel. They all agreed to go back to Tina, Mercedes and Lauren's room because it was closest. Only on the fourth floor. But they didn't even make it that far. As they were going up in the elevator Santana's body became rigid, the shaking making her muscles convulse and spasm wildly, sending her sideways into the wall of the elevator.

'Oh my god.' Tina whispered, Mercedes and Lauren standing with wide eyes as only Quinn and Brittany had seen her like this.

'Ahh, shit.. Q…' Santana cried as she rolled over and lent her back against the elevator wall.

'I know, just try and relax. Remember what we did before?' Quinn was quickly by her side and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Santana nodded. 'Okay, this will be no different you just have to ride it out.'

'N… no problem,' she winced, trying to smile as the elevator doors dinging open.

'Lauren can you..' Quinn turned to the larger girl knowing she wouldn't be able to get Santana easily along the corridor.

'Yeah Q of course.' Lauren knew what she was asking and was already picking the shaking girl off of her feet. And then basically ran along the hall to their room. Tina opened the door as they all filed inside, Lauren setting Santana down on her feet. The small girl then leaning up against the wall with Quinn at her side.

'Q.' She whispered. 'Bathroom.'

'Okay, hang on sweetie.' Quinn went further into the room where all the glee girls had taken seats. 'Guys, we might be in there for some time so if you want to go..'

'No Quinn.' Rachel spoke for all of them. 'We said we would be here for her so we will be.' Quinn smiled and mouthed a thank you to them before taking Santana into the bathroom.


	48. Chapter 48

**That's What You're Supposed To Do**

Both girls emerged a little over half an hour later, Quinn gently closing the bathroom door behind them as they went around the corner to their friends. Brittany had put the television on and found some cartoons, Rachel listening to her Ipod whilst the others read or watched along with Brittany. It was only when the dancer saw Santana and Quinn that she turned it off. 'Hey,' She said, causing the others to step away from what they were doing. They could see sweat covering Santana, her body twitching every now and again because of the intensity of the past half and hour.

'Hey B.' She said quietly as Quinn took her hand and led her to the nearest bed. Mercedes scooted over after putting down her book, Santana giving her a grateful smile as they sat down. Quinn set herself in a half seated position against the headboard and pulled Santana on top of her, they all noticed the brunette wince slightly but she gratefully accepted the position as she closed her eyes.

'You okay?' Santana heard Brittany whisper as she crawled on the end of the same bed.

'I am now Brit.' She smiled, opening her eyes and looking around all of their worried faces. 'But I have to apologise to you guys again. I'm broke now though so I cant take you to another movie.' Some of the girls giggled slightly as Santana smiled. 'I'm sorry Q. I completely lost it.'

'Yeah you did.' Quinn giggled. 'But thank you.' Quinn planted a kiss on her head, Santana looking confused.

'Why are you thanking me? I just made a massive scene in a public place and spent the past half an hour throwing up right next to you.'

'You defended me Santana. That's what you're supposed to do.'

'Oh, right. Yeah.' Santana smiled. 'So much for open minded city people.' She laughed, the others quietly joining in.

'Those guys were assholes okay. Neither of you should take anything they said seriously.'

'We know Tina, thanks.' Quinn sighed, pulling Santana in closer as she felt the brunette relax. 'Are you tired?'

'I'm exhausted.' Santana admitted, closing her eyes once more as she gripped the arm Quinn had over her chest.

'That was twenty minutes longer than last time San.' Quinn pointed out, everyone watching them contently.

'I know.' She realised, not wanting to open her eyes because a tear might escape.

'It's not getting any better is it?' Brittany asked, playing with the material on the bottom of Santana's trousers.

'It's not Brit, but I'm okay.' She added smiling, not wanting her friends to worry too much. She then cleared her throat as she reopened her eyes. 'Would it be okay if I slept here for a little bit? I can go back to our room if..'

'Go to sleep Santana.' Mercedes interrupted.

'Thanks.' Santana smiled. She then slid down further into the bed, her head buried in Quinn's side as she drifted off. Literally a few moments later Quinn felt Santana's breathing even out, the girl falling into a deep sleep.

'Quinn,' Rachel whispered, the blonde looking up. 'Is she really okay?' Quinn sighed, running her hand gently over Santana's hair.

'No. If I had to compare, I'd say the shaking was worse than the last time this happened. I just don't know why.' She put her head back to the wall.

'Isn't it obvious Q?' She looked down at Brittany who had crossed her legs on the end of the bed. Obvious and Brittany weren't really two things that went together. But then again, she seemed to make the most sense when the topic was Santana related.

'What do you mean Brit?' Lauren asked for them.

'It was those guys.' She played with the duvet. 'I can guarantee you that all Santana was thinking today was; please don't let it happen again.' Brittany looked into Quinn's eyes. 'She told me once that that was her worst fear, it happening again.'

'She told me that too B.' Quinn sent her a small smile before hugging Santana tighter.

'Then why did she keep going at him? Why not leave it alone, do her counting thing?' Tina asked.

'Because of Quinn.' Brittany said, Quinn now realising. 'She wanted to protect you. And the only way Santana knows how to do that is by kicking ass.' Brittany grinned as the others smiled. 'That's why she didn't stop. To look out for you.'

'Brit, I never want her to do that,' she looked down at her sleeping girlfriend. 'If this is the end result.'

'I don't think it's your decision Quinn.' Rachel pointed out.

'Yeah. Santana needs to feel like she's not powerless. If she freezes up in situations like that she will feel just as bad as she does now.' Brittany pointed out, looking across at Santana as her arm convulsed slightly, the effects from moments ago not having worn off. Quinn looked down after feeling it and stroked her arm, letting her know she wasn't alone.

'But it was so bad in the bathroom you guys.' Quinn's eyes were watering. 'I honestly don't know how she can take it.'

'You're right there with her aren't you Q?' Brittany asked, smiling.

'Yeah.'

'Then that is why she can take it.' Brittany said whilst Santana snuggled further into Quinn, gripping the other side of the blonde's shirt as she fell deeper into dream world.

'Why does her body keep tensing up?' Lauren asked, noticing as Santana's face contorted once more.

'I think it's like,' Quinn tried to explain it. 'Like the shocks that come after an earthquake. The main event has gone but bits of it linger behind. That's the only way to describe it really, but it will stop after a while.' Quinn assured them.

'How comes she never told anyone sooner? How did we not notice sooner?' Rachel wondered out loud.

'Believe me Rachel, I asked myself the same things. I don't know how no one saw it.' Quinn sighed again as she hugged the girl next to her.

'Santana was always really good at hiding things.' Brittany informed them, all of the girls nodding in agreement. The conversation was almost at it's end, all of the girls looking at each other as to what to say next. Then Tina noticed something else.

'Quinn, I hate to ask you this..' She drifted off, playing with the hem of her jacket.

'What is it Tina?' Quinn looked at her comfortingly.

'Is Santana eating, well anything? She looks really thin.' After she said this all of the girls studied the Latina. Tina was right. Santana's arms were thinner than they remembered, you could practically fit two of her inside Quinn who they thought was skinny enough.

'She eats when I ask her to.' Quinn admitted. 'She tries to live off of that horrible coffee she has but I try and make her eat properly.'

'Why doesn't she eat properly anyway? I mean I'm sure she doesn't want to add an eating disorder on top of all the stuff she already has going on.' Mercedes said, sitting on the bed next to Santana and Quinn.

'I don't think she's thinking about it that way Mercedes.' Quinn informed them. 'She doesn't want to eat much because of what happened today. The throwing up. I think she feels like the less there is inside her to get out, the shorter the experience will be.' Quinn stroked her hair again. 'Although, judging by today, that isn't the case. I'll have to remind her that at dinner later.' Quinn smiled, all of the girls nodding in agreement.

'How long until dinner anyway Quinn?' Rachel asked.

'About three hours.' She looked once more at the sleeping brunette before looking back to the girls whose room they were in. 'If it's okay with you guys can we stay for a couple of hours? I'll wake her up when we need to go and get changed?'

'Of course Q, you two can stay as long as you like.' Mercedes confirmed, squeezing Quinn on the arm to reassure her.

'Thanks.' Quinn smiled. 'Now what were you watching on the TV Brit?'

'Woody Woodpecker!' Brittany exclaimed, scrambling back over to the TV and switching it on. No amount of noise was going to wake Santana.


	49. Chapter 49

**Where's Your Head Right Now?**

'Santana.' Quinn rocked her gently as she tried to wake her up. 'San.' She whispered, brushing dark hair from the sleeping girls eyes.

'Mmmm.' Santana mumbled, hugging Quinn tighter.

'San we have to go back to the room.'

'But I'm so tired.' She whispered without opening her eyes.

'I know you are. But it's time to get up.' Quinn sighed. 'Please, for me?'

'You're always going to play that card aren't you?' Santana looked up at her smiling.

'As much as I possibly can.' Quinn assured her, smiling back down at her. 'Come on.'

'Fine.' Santana grumbled, pushing herself up and out of Quinn's embrace. 'Where's everyone else?' She said, only seeing Lauren and Tina.

'Mercedes is getting ready and the others went back to their room. Which is where we she should be.' Quinn swivelled off of the bed and extended a hand to Santana who took it smiling. 'See you guys downstairs in a bit.' Quinn shouted back as they went out of the door.

They were the last to arrive to dinner again, everyone else already sitting around the table when they walked through the doors. 'Take your sweet time.' Puck moaned.

'No one said you had to wait for us Puckerman.' Quinn said as she and Santana sat down, hands still linked.

'Mr Schu did actually.' Finn informed them, getting a gentle kick from Santana under the table.

'Anyway, we're sorry.' Quinn felt Santana snuggle down into her side. 'Someone fell asleep again.'

'That's fine Quinn,' Mr Schu smiled. 'The girls were just telling us about a certain, altercation, you guys had at the coffee shop today.'

'You told everyone?' Santana questioned, lifting her head off of the blonde's shoulder.

'Santana come on, we had to.' Rachel protested.

'Yeah, it was really wrong what those guys did to you.' Tina pointed out.

'We know that, but it's not like we can do anything about it now so..' Quinn shrugged.

'Still, I'm proud of you guys for sticking up for each other and sticking together.'

'Thanks Mr Schu.' Quinn grinned, planting a kiss on Santana's head as she settled back into Quinn's side.

'I wonder what would have happened if I had been there too?' Kurt wondered out loud.

'They would have kicked your ass for sure.' Sam said, playing with his cutlery.

'No they wouldn't have.' Quinn reassured him.

'Yeah, and even if they tried, Santana would have set them straight.' Lauren pointed out. 'The girl was like a wild animal.' Santana giggled.

'Yeah well, no one talks that way to my girl.' The rest of the glee club smiled and laughed as the two girls kissed. It was only a peck but it was the most genuine thing they had ever seen.

'Well that's all really good guys, but Santana I do think you need to be more careful. Especially at the moment.'

'I know Mr Schu.' Santana looked at him and he nodded, knowing she was smart and wouldn't be as reckless in the future. Well, he hoped she wouldn't. There was a moment of silence before it was shattered by a very hungry Noah Puckerman.

'Can we friggin order now!' He shouted. Everyone bursting out laughing now as they browsed their menus.

After they had finished eating, Mr Schu sent them right to bed. No going out for the next two nights in preparation for competition day. After a few grumbles and pouty faces they all agreed, Mr Schu giving them instructions for the following morning.

'Breakfast is at 8am sharp, no option to come later. And then rehearsal will be from 9 until..' He paused, thinking about it. 'Until I think we're ready to kick some but on Friday.' He grinned, all of them laughing at him as they set off.

Santana and Quinn took their time going back up to the room. The elevator opened on their floor and they slowly sauntered along to their room. 'You okay?' Quinn asked, swinging Santana's hand in her own as they made their way along. But the brunette seemed unresponsive. 'San?' Quinn said again, snapping her out of her trance.

'Oh, sorry Q. Erm yeah.' She smiled.

'Where's your head right now?'

'I'm just thinking.' Santana admitted. 'I don't want this trip to be over.'

'Me neither.' Quinn said, disappointed. 'But you know that doesn't mean we're over Santana.'

'Doesn't it.' Quinn stopped in her tracks. The Latina having to as well because they were linked together.

'No. It doesn't. Why would you think that?' She turned Santana to look at her.

'Come on Q. Your parents. I think they would actually shoot me if I went any where near you. I know your dad has like a collection of shotguns or something.'

'Santana.' Quinn pulled the smaller girl into her as her hands lingered around her back. 'Get this in your head okay. If my dad came at you with a shotgun, he would have to go through me first.'

'Seriously?' Santana looked shocked and confused at Quinn's notion. 'You would take a bullet for me?'

'I would take several.' Quinn grinned. 'And I know you would do the same for me.' She kissed the top of her nose. 'That is why this will not be over when we get home. No matter what my parents say or do. Okay?'

'Yeah, got it.' Santana kissed her and then turned to keep walking, reconnecting their hands as they went. 'But just so you know, I will take you up on that shotgun offer if the situation arises.'

'Noted.' Quinn giggled. 'What about your parents? Do they know about you?'

'Yeah.'

'And they're okay with it?' Quinn pried.

'Yeah, well, indifferent is the word to best describe it. They don't really care as long as it doesn't involve them.'

'So, sounds like we have a lot of fun family gatherings ahead of us.'

'Yeah, fun.' Santana rolled her eyes as they reached their hotel door. Quinn opened it and then felt Santana push her inside. She laughed as the Latina moved right towards the bed, setting her down on it and climbing over her.

'Santana, wait.' Quinn mumbled through kisses as she heard her phone buzzing from her bag.

'You know you can let it ring.' Santana informed her, wiping her mouth. But then she saw the look on Quinn's face as she studied the screen. 'Who's that? Your drug dealer looking for payment?' Santana tried to joke but then Quinn looked at her.

'It's..' She almost choked. 'It's my mum.'


	50. Chapter 50

**Everything Will Be Fine**

Quinn flipped open her cell phone and put it to her ear. 'Hello?' She said nervously.

'Oh, Quinnie. It's mum.'

'Yeah, I got that.' Santana searched her girlfriends face, not knowing if she should leave the room to give her some privacy. 'What is it?' Quinn asked, having a strange feeling that her father had something to do with this out of the blue phone call.

'I need to talk to you sweetheart, privately.' It was almost as if Judy Fabray knew Santana would be there.

'Okay, give me a second.' Quinn said, standing up and giving Santana an apologetic smile. She covered the phone's speaker. 'I need to take this to the balcony. Are you okay?'

'Oh yeah, go Q, it's fine.' Santana smiled, Quinn kissing her on the forehead before hurrying outside. She pulled the screen door over but Santana could still hear her mumbling. This wasn't going to end well. About ten minutes later Quinn walked back in. Phone in hand and an incredibly sad look on her face.

'Quinn, what is it?' Santana asked, jumping off of the bed to hug her. She could see tears falling from Quinn's eyes as they separated, gently wiping them away with her hands.

'My dad,' Quinn sniffed. 'He told my mum about you, about us.'

'And?' Now Santana was really worried.

'And she's just as pissed off as he is. She said that they were coming back here tomorrow.'

'What?' Santana questioned. 'What for?'

'They're coming to take me home.' Quinn sobbed.

'But that's, that's bullshit.' Santana exclaimed. 'Nationals are the day after tomorrow, there's no way they can do that.'

'Well they are. They said they're talking to Mr Schu and pulling me out of the competition.' She sighed, slumping down on the bed as she watched Santana become more frustrated by the second.

'There's no way I'm letting that happen.' She shook her head and started pacing.

'What are you going to do?' Quinn looked up at her.

'I don't know yet,' Quinn sighed again. 'But you have worked too hard for this Q. I'm not letting them take that moment away from you.' Quinn smiled. 'Why are you smiling? We need to figure out how to fix this.'

'Santana,' Quinn said gently. 'San come here.' She held her hand out, the Latina gripping it tightly as Quinn pulled her onto the bed.

'What?' Santana asked, Quinn stroking her cheek as she pulled her into a deep kiss.

'You are so sweet.' Quinn smiled. 'But I don't think there's anything we can do to stop my parents.'

'But Q, we have to try. We cant…' Quinn kissed her again.

'I know. And first thing tomorrow we'll go to Mr Schu and talk to him. Okay?'

'Yeah, okay.' Santana smiled as she pulled Quinn into her, Quinn's arm wrapping around the brunette's waist as they drifted off.

* * *

><p>The next morning the girls made sure to get up at 7. They had to be at breakfast for 8 anyway so they figured they would stop of at Mr Schu's room on the way. They knocked on his hotel room door, holding hands and fidgeting nervously as they waited for their teacher to answer. 'Quinn, Santana.' He said kind of surprised by the visit. 'What's up?'<p>

'Can we come in Mr Schu? We need to talk to you.' Santana informed him.

'They're coming here. Today.' Mr Schu needed clarification.

'Yeah, they said I have to go home.'

'Because…'

'They don't approve of mine and Santana's relationship.' Santana smiled weakly at her from her position sitting on the end of Mr Schu's bed.

'Well Quinn, they're your parents.' He rubbed his head. 'And as much as I don't agree with what they want to do, they have every right to pull you out.'

'What!' Santana jumped up. 'How can you say that Mr Schu, what they're doing is so unfair. It's wrong and selfish and Quinn has worked too hard for this!' She shouted, Mr Schu putting a hand on her shoulder to calm her down.

'Santana. I know how you feel alright, I understand why you guys are so upset. But Quinn. They are you're parents.'

'I know Mr Schu. I just thought, one day before competition, you know. You might fight them to let me stay.' She smiled weakly as she tried to drag Santana from the room.

'What Q. You cant give up like that. Mr Schu tell us you'll help.' Santana pleaded.

'I will talk to them when they get here. I will make all of the points you guys have presented clear to them. But the final decision will be theirs.'

'Shouldn't it be mine Mr Schu?' Quinn said quietly, their teacher sighed.

'I'm sorry Quinn. But if this is what your parents think is best for you, then I cant argue with them. I will make sure they know how hard you've worked for this and I'll try my best to help you guys.'

* * *

><p>'Well that was a waste of time.' Santana complained as they walked towards the hotel restaurant for breakfast.<p>

'I'm sure Mr Schu will do everything he can.' Quinn said, holding Santana's hand tightly as they strolled along. They still had nearly forty minutes before everyone else would be down so they took their time.

'I guess.' Santana sighed. 'It just sucks.'

'I know. But hopefully I can talk some sense into them when they get here.'

'Quinn, what if they actually take you home?' Santana asked, her voice sounding more and more vulnerable by the second. 'I know the competition on Friday is the main thing, but I don't think I'll be okay without you.'

'San,' Quinn stopped her. 'You'll be fine. If I do end up going we'll only be apart for a few days. I promise everything will be fine okay.'

'Yeah. If you say so.' Santana looked down at the floor, Quinn not believing her as she pulled her into a hug.

'You're stronger than you think Santana. You have to trust me on that.'

'Sure.' Santana nodded and lifted her head, tugging Quinn into a kiss before setting off down the hall once more.


	51. Chapter 51

**We Weren't Expecting You This Early**

Everyone had just finished breakfast and were on their way to the rehearsal hall. Quinn and Santana had told everyone about Quinn's parents and what they planned on doing today. Everyone was almost as determined as Santana not to let that happen, despite Mr Schu's protests. They were walking into the lobby because it was the only way to get to their rehearsal space, when they heard someone. 'Quinn.' Russell Fabray still sounded pissed off. All of the glee clubbers and Mr Schu were stopped in their tracks as the angry parents walked over to the group.

'Mr and Mrs Fabray.' Mr Schu greeted them, extending a hand and a smile, not that it would do any good but he was a polite man.

'Call me Judy,' Quinn's mother smiled at him as she shook the teachers hand. Russell however hadn't taken his eyes off of Quinn, scowling at Santana as she pulled her girlfriend behind her.

'Quinn.' Mr Fabray repeated, stepping closer to them as the group backed up. They didn't want Quinn to leave, but Mr Fabray was shit scary so they thought best to keep out of his way.

'Dad. Mum.' Quinn said emotionlessly.

'We weren't expecting you this early.' Mr Schu made conversation.

'Well. We need to get our daughter home.'

'No you don't.' Santana spoke up.

'Santana.' Mr Schu shot her a warning look.

'No, Mr Schu I'm sorry, but they don't need to take her anywhere. They are just narrow minded people who only want their daughter to do exactly as they say. Isn't that right Russell?' He glared at her.

'Do not speak to me that way girl, this is because of you.' He pointed at her as Quinn held onto her from behind.

'No it's not. It's because of you. You cannot stand it can you? Is it because I'm a girl or because I'm Latina? Maybe it's both.' She was really pushing her luck here but she wouldn't just let them take Quinn form her.

'Santana!' Mr Schu shouted at her.

'I'm sorry, you know, but I need to know just how small minded these people are…'

'Enough!' Russell sped towards the two girls, Santana only flinching slightly as he came within feet of them. 'We are taking Quinn home. End of story.'

'Yes, she has some packing to do when we get there so it's best if we leave now.' Judy smiled at Mr Schu but he looked just as confused as his students, packing? But it was almost as if Judy Fabray was drunk or high, keeping her calm and almost drifting through the entire confrontation.

'Packing?' Quinn wondered. 'Why do I need to pack?'

'Because, tomorrow we have booked a flight for you. You will be going to live with your Aunt Melanie.'

'Wait, mum's sister? The nut job who lives in a bungalow in Austin with seven cats and no TV?' Quinn looked at them with a hurt and shocked expression.

'That's the one. Come on.' Russell went towards his daughter in an attempt to lead her away, growling in frustration as Santana pulled her back and stepped in front of Quinn further.

'Santana.' Mr Schu looked at her, wondering how many times he would have to remind her that they were Quinn's parents.

'No Mr Schu. There is no way this is happening.' Santana said through gritted teeth as she tried to keep her cool.

'I don't think that's your decision, Santana.' Russell cringed at saying her name and made another move forwards. 'Move, now.' He said, looking down at her.

'No. I cant do that.' She stated, Quinn grabbing onto the back of her shirt.

'Santana, maybe I should just…' Quinn started, whispering in her ear.

'No! Quinn we cant let them win. You belong here with me okay.' She felt Quinn nod, the brunette not having taken her eyes from Quinn's fathers.

'Young lady, stand aside.' He stepped right up to the girls now, only inches away from Santana but she held her ground.

'You need to let Quinn stay here. The competition is tomorrow. She has worked too hard for you guys to screw it up for her. So she is not leaving.' Santana managed to keep her voice civil.

'Well I would agree that she has worked hard, and we would love nothing more than to watch her perform. But as long as you are here, poisoning her,' he clenched his jaw. 'We will not allow her to be.'

'Okay, why don't we take this to the restaurant. Have some coffee and just cool off.' Mr Schu pleaded, not wanting to make any more of a scene in the middle of the hotel lobby.

'I'm sorry Mr Schuester, but my husband really wants us to be on our way.' She smiled again.

'Yes so if you'll excuse us.' Russell said as he tried to reach around Santana and get to Quinn. Once again the Latina walked backwards, Quinn moving out of his reach. 'Girl you are really trying my patience.'

'Just listen for a second okay.' Santana thought carefully. 'You said you just don't want her near me, whatever the setting.'

'Your point?' Russell sighed.

'I'll go.' Santana stated, Quinn gasping behind her and pulling Santana to face her. The rest of the glee club watching contently as the scene unfolded.

'Santana, no!' Quinn grasped both of her hands.

'Yes okay, that's the only way they'll let you perform. And it's not like I'm gonna be up there with you anyway.' She smiled, Quinn looking sadder than ever. She turned back to Quinn's parents. 'If I promise to be on the first flight out of here, will you let her stay and perform tomorrow?'

'Well,' Mr Fabray contemplated the offer for a moment.

'You'll get to see her sing and you wont have to worry about me, poisoning her.' Santana said sarcastically, getting a nudge from Quinn when she saw the look on her father's face.

'Fine. I guess that's reasonable. Quinn you can stay.' Santana let out a sigh of relief, as did all the glee members. Mr Schu, however, wasn't happy about this idea.

'Alright, everyone I want you to go to the rehearsal hall and wait for me.' They nodded and set off, Santana pushing Quinn towards them.

'Go with them, I promise I'll say goodbye before I leave.' She smiled, going to hug the blonde but Quinn had other ideas, kissing her tenderly on the lips as her mother and father turned their heads in disgust.

'See you later.' Quinn whispered, and then set off to follow everyone else.

'Santana are you sure about this?' Mr Schu came over and put a hand on her shoulder.

'Yeah. Definitely. If it means Quinn can perform tomorrow I would do anything.' She smiled up at him. Russell and Judy still checking her out, looking at her like she was a disease.

'Okay, well I'll make sure you get on a plane alright. And I'll keep you updated on our progress.'

'Thanks Mr Schu.' She looked back to the Fabray's. 'And you are not sending her to Austin.'

'Oh really.' Russell almost laughed. 'And how is that you're decision?'

'It's not.' Santana agreed with him on that. 'I suppose it wont matter though. Because wherever you send her, Austin, London, the moon, I'll find her. I love her. And that's all there is to it.' She shrugged, walking away form them. Feeling confident and relatively satisfied with herself for the first time in a long time. But now she had some packing to do.


	52. Chapter 52

**You Can't Go Home**

Santana was throwing clothes into her suitcase, not really folding anything as she crammed it all in. She stood up and ran her hand through her hair, trying to remember everything she had brought with her. She almost forgot her wash bag, which was still in the bathroom, but she saw it a few moments later when she decided to have a shower. She wanted to do everything she could to delay leaving. 'Santana?' She heard someone calling her so she turned the tap clockwise, letting the water trickle to a stop. 'Santana it's me.' She heard Quinn knocking on the bathroom door. Quickly jumping out of the shower she replied; 'give me a second.' She wrapped a towel around her, letting her wet hair fall at her back, as she unlocked the door and stepped out. She hadn't realised how hot the water had been, the hotel room feeling cold and harsh against her skin. She also hadn't realised that her hands were shaking. But it wasn't like the shaking she usually experienced, it wasn't fear or a lack of control. It was anger.

'You're shivering.' Quinn noticed, a concerned look washing over her face as she went over to Santana, wrapping on of the bed sheets around her and sitting her down.

'I had the water too hot, I guess I didn't realise.' She smiled but Quinn wasn't buying it.

'Santana, why did you do that?' Quinn asked, leaning her head on the brunettes shoulder.

'Do what?'

'You know what. You can't go home.' Quinn looked up into her eyes.

'Yes I can. I wasn't going to let that jackass of a father, bully you out of here.'

'So what? He bullied you instead?' Santana sighed.

'All I want is for you to perform tomorrow, okay. We can figure out all of this stuff when you get home.' Santana lent in and kissed her on the lips, licking them as she pulled away and smiled.

'When I get home I have to pack remember.' Quinn thought about what her parents had said, sending her to Austin.

'Yeah, well then I have to pack too.' Santana grinned.

'What?' Quinn looked genuinely confused as she studied her girlfriend's face.

'I told your dad that I would follow you wherever he sent you. We would be sitting in your Aunt's house together, with all of her cats and no TV.'

'You said that to him?' Quinn laughed.

'Yes I did. And I also said that he could send you to the moon and I would still follow you.' She smiled, pulling the blonde into another kiss but her laughter broke through it.

'You're something else, you know that?'

'I have it on good authority that I'm amazing, so yeah.' She brushed her hair over her shoulder as Quinn playfully slapped her on the shoulder. Santana then jumped up and slipped on a pair of shorts and a top. She wasn't really dry but it would do for the moment.

'Oh and I love the modesty.' Quinn said sarcastically, grabbing the girl's wrist and pulling Santana back down onto the bed. Santana laughed as Quinn ran her hands through her dark hair, planting selective kisses over her face. Moments later Santana returned the favour, pulling Quinn into her as the blonde was still on top. This was becoming a pattern which Santana needed to break out of, so she quickly flipped Quinn over, holding her wrists in place above her head as she looked down on her. 'How the hell did you do that?' Quinn chuckled.

'A magician never reveals her secrets.' Santana winked, bending back down and kissing her once more.

They were so wrapped up in each other that they didn't hear the door open. They didn't hear the people walking in. And it was only when they heard his voice, that they turned around.

'Get the hell off of my daughter!' Mr Fabray shouted, Quinn looking up at him with terrified eyes whilst Santana kept her cool. The brunette didn't move from Quinn's lap even though Quinn had hurried into an upright position, using her arms to support herself from behind. 'I said, get off of my daughter.' He repeated, quieter but with just as much venom. Santana did as she was asked, Quinn thinking it odd that she hadn't said anything back yet.

'Dad,' Quinn said, looking at him and then her mother. 'I thought you guys were getting settled into your room?'

'We're settled.' He spat back, quickly moving to speak about what he saw. 'I thought you were in rehearsals, and you,' he glared at Santana. 'We're packing?'

'All packed, see.' She smiled cheekily as she pointed to her half full, and incredibly messy, suitcase.

'That is not packed. I want you out of here, right now.' He gritted his teeth, but Quinn had finally had enough.

'Come on dad, don't you think you're being a little unreasonable?' She stood up in front of Santana, the brunette quickly taking a hold of her hand as she did so.

'No Lucy, I do not.' He growled at them as he took a few steps forwards. 'And I certainly do not need to see this floozy throwing herself all over you.'

'Erm, it's called making out Russell. I'm sure you've done it?' Santana grinned. 'Once or twice maybe?' She received an elbow in the ribs from Quinn for that one, but it was worth it.

'It's only called making out, Santana.' He mimicked her sarcastic tone. 'If it is done between a man and a woman. What you were just doing is a sin.'

'Really? So it's a sin for two people to love each other?' Quinn asked, looking her father directly in the eyes.

'You don't love her Lucy. You've had bad luck with boys in the past and she has convinced you that this is your only other alternative.'

'You're wrong.' Quinn whispered.

'What did you say?' He moved in a step closer, Santana feeling the need to move in front of her girlfriend but she resisted for the moment.

'I said, you're wrong. I asked Santana out dad.' The brunette placed her hand around Quinn's stomach, pulling her into a sideways hug as Mr Fabray kept looking more and more horrified. Who knew what Judy was doing, standing by the door and watching. She didn't seem to care about anything that was happening, she just did whatever Russell told her to.

'Well, she put the idea into your head Lucy.'

'She didn't, dad I love her. I am in love with her. And my name is Quinn!' Santana had never heard her so loud and she couldn't help but smile.

'You will not raise your voice to me.' He ordered, moving in even closer as Santana spoke up.

'What, like you haven't been shouting at her every time you've seen her?'

'Be quiet!' He looked at her and then back to his daughter. 'I've changed my mind Quinn, you're coming home now. No competition.' He stepped forwards and grabbed her arm, trying to pull her free of Santana's grasp.

'Dan! No, stop it.' She growled at him, Santana's hold on her waist becoming tighter by the second.

'Quinn, I will not stand for this!' He yelled, pulling harder. But then Quinn ripped away from him.

'Dad I said no! I am not leaving and neither is Santana. You and mum are going to go home and I never want to see you again!' She finished the sentence and realised how fast her heart was beating. She looked into her father's eyes as the silence became too much. But after a moment the room was filled with the sound of a slap, Mr Fabray striking his daughter on the cheek. She stumbled slightly but Santana managed to hold her up.

'Hey!' Santana screamed at him, sitting Quinn on the bed and squaring up to Russell. 'You should be ashamed of yourself.'

'Don't start with me girl, I know your father and he will agree with me when I tell him about you.'

'Oh go ahead you prick! My dad knows.'

'He what? And he lets you..'

'He does. Sure he isn't thrilled with the idea but at least he has never raised his hands to me. You have no right calling that girl your family.' She poked him in the chest, pushing him backwards as a tear fell from her eye. 'And you need to leave before I make you pay for what you just did.' she said forcefully, seeing Mr Fabray's eyes study the sincerity in her face. Quinn was still sitting on the bed. She was honestly shocked about what had just happened. She never thought he would go far enough to hit her, but moments ago it had happened. Mr Fabray cleared his throat, looking down at the Latina once more before turning to his daughter.

'Quinn. We'll see you at home and we will discuss this further.' He shot Santana one last glare before taking his wife out of the room. They were leaving. For now.


	53. Chapter 53

**What Side Of The Bed Do You Like?**

Santana slammed the door behind the Fabray's as they left, making sure to lock it. She sighed and momentarily placed her forehead on the door, exhaling and closing her eyes before turning back around. Her hands were balled into fists as she stood there with her back now planted on the door, eyes still closed. 'Santana?' She opened her eyes and saw Quinn walking towards her, a faint red mark had appeared on the side of her face. The blonde walked over to her and looked at her hands. 'You're..' She sniffed, wiping her nose before continuing. 'You're shaking.'

'No I'm not.' Santana said, pushing herself off of the door and wrapping Quinn into a hug. Quinn could feel that she was lying. The interaction with her parents moments ago clearly affecting her girlfriend. 'Are you alright?' Santana asked, pulling back and gently planting her hand over the mark on Quinn's face.

'Yeah,' She took Santana's hand in her own, placing a kiss on her palm. 'I think so.' She hugged Santana again.

'Everything is going to be okay Q.' Santana assured her.

'Yeah.' Quinn said, unconvincingly as she pulled Santana over to the bed with her.

'I'm serious, okay?' Santana looked her in the eyes as they sat on the end of the bed. 'When we get home you're going to move in with me, alright?'

'But your mum and dad..' Quinn began but Santana stopped her with a kiss.

'Are never around.' Santana finished for her, making the blonde smile. 'Please Q. I cant let you go back to that house if he's going to hurt you.'

'Okay.' Quinn whispered.

'Okay?' Santana cupped Quinn's face in her hands.

'Yeah, I don't want to loose you San.'

'You wont.' She smiled. 'Do you want to go back down and find the guys?'

'Can we just, sleep for a couple of hours?' Quinn asked, taking Santana's hands in her own.

'Sure, I'll text Brit and tell her to let everyone know. We can meet them for food later.'

'Great.' Quinn smiled as she crawled back towards the other end of the bed.

* * *

><p><em>Santana sat up in her bed, her forehead covered in a cold sweat as she ran the back of her hand across her skin. She exhaled as she scanned the room slowly as if searching for something, looking down and happy to see the blonde sleeping soundly at her side. She heard a tapping on the hotel door, knock…. Knock….. Knock….. She felt her head spinning as she hauled the cover off of her legs and sat over the edge. Knock…. Knock…. Knock… 'Hang on a second.' She called, whoever was at the door had no patience whatsoever as they kept rapping on the wood. She lent her head in her hands and squeezed her eyes closed. Something wasn't right. She felt dizzy and nauseous and nothing was focusing properly. She got up anyway, taking a look back at Quinn who was still sound asleep in the bed, before walking slowly over to the door. Knock…. Knock….. Knock….. She could still hear the banging on the door as she ran her fingertips along the wall beside her. Keeping her balance was the hardest thing to do as she reached out for the door handle. She pulled it open without thinking who could be on the other side. 'What do yo…..' She started asking, but then she looked up at the figure in front of her. <em>

'_Remember me?' She saw him grin but couldn't see the rest of his face. Her eyes widened in terror as she tried to move, tried to run. Her entire body was screaming to get away but nothing was working. She saw him raise the knife above his head, towering above her as a solitary tear fell from her eye. Then he plunged the knife down into her shoulder and she screamed._

* * *

><p>'Santana!' Quinn shouted, putting both of her hands on the flailing girls shoulders in an attempt to restrain her. 'Santana wake up.' She pleaded. She could feel how terrified the girl below her was. Quinn looking down at her face which was screwed up in pain. Sweat was pouring from her body and every muscle was trembling. 'Come on San,' she whispered, willing her to wake up. And then she did. Her eyes shot open and she was momentarily disorientated. Her eyes flicked around the room in a state of panic, until she gazed upon beautiful green orbs.<p>

'Qu….Quinn?' She croaked, her voice sounding rough and harsh.

'Yeah, it's okay.' She smiled down at her. 'You were having a nightmare.'

'Shit.' Santana winced, sitting up and holding onto her shoulder.

'What is it?' Quinn looked over her, concerned.

'It just, felt really real.' Santana tried to smile back at her but the blonde wasn't buying it. 'I'm fine.'

'Santana…' Quinn protested, but she had already gotten up. Santana walked into the bathroom and Quinn heard her running the tap as she filled a glass with water before coming back to the bed. She sat on the end of it with her back to Quinn. 'You're soaked.' The blonde pointed out.

'Yeah.' Santana agreed without turning around.

'What did you dream about?' Quinn asked, moving to kneel right behind her but was careful not to touch her.

'He was here. I opened the room door and he stabbed me.' Santana said bluntly.

'San, it was a dream. You know that.'

'I know.' She sipped the glass of water but it caught in her dry throat, causing her to cough.

'You okay?' Quinn asked, moving a hand up to the top of the Latina's back.

'Fine.' She grimaced and then turned back to her girlfriend. 'But you need to go back to sleep.'

'Why? I'm up now so we can just hang out.' Quinn grinned at her. 'We cant have that long until we have to meet the guys anyway.' Quinn reasoned.

'We have….' Santana looked at the clock next to her bed. 'Three hours.'

'Okay so why don't you have a shower and then we can chill, get our cuddle on?' Quinn winked at her, causing Santana to laugh.

'How can I resist cuddling?' She joked, setting her glass down before heading off into the bathroom.

Santana emerged about twenty minutes later, wet hair dripping onto her shoulders and dying the back of her green top a darker colour. Quinn smiled at her as she walked over, the brunette returning the favour as she slumped down beside her. 'Feel better?' Quinn asked.

'Yeah, a little.' Santana admitted, although she still felt somewhat nervous about her last dream.

'Santana, it was a dream.' Quinn stated, planting a kiss firmly onto the top of her head.

'I know.' Santana replied the same as before, knowing it was a dream but unable to shake off how real it felt. 'So anyway, what side of the bed do you prefer?'

'What?' Quinn sounded confused.

'What side of the bed do you like to sleep on?' Santana repeated.

'Erm, left? I guess.' Quinn laughed.

'Good, because the right side is all mine.' Santana turned her head upwards to kiss Quinn on the lips. 'I want my house to be your house Q. And when we get home I'm going to kick your dads ass for all this shit.'

'Okay first of all, I love you.' Quinn grinned, kissing her once more. 'But second, you are not squaring off with my dad.'

'But..' Quinn cut her off with another kiss.

'But nothing. When we get home we can go and get my stuff. That's it okay. I'm not going to let you get hurt because you're acting stupid.'

'Hey, I prefer to think of it as romantic.' Santana grinned.

'Well having my girlfriend come home bloody and bruised isn't romantic, it's gross.'

'Yeah, I guess so.' Santana laughed. 'But if he comes near you again I…'

'I know San, and I'll happily help you knock his teeth out.' She smiled.

'So we have a plan.' Santana looked up into her green eyes, they were smiling.

'We have a plan.' She confirmed, pulling the Latina into a deep hug before turning her attention back to the television. 'There's nothing on.' She sighed, putting the TV on standby and throwing the controller onto the end of the bed.

'Hmmm, what on earth shall we do?' Santana asked sarcastically, Quinn giggling as she pulled Santana down the bed.

'I think it's my turn to be on top.' The blonde smiled.

'Well, I suppose. Just this once….' She didn't finish her sentence because Quinn's lips came down over her own. The blonde pushing her body into Santana's as the kiss deepened.

'You know to talk to much right?' Quinn grinned down at her. She nodded, but remained silent. 'And you know you're completely gorgeous, right?'

'I don't know about that one Q.' She blushed. 'I can think of someone that puts me to shame.'

'Yeah?' Quinn asked, kissing Santana's forehead.

'Yeah, Berry.' She grinned, Quinn bursting out with laughter and playfully slapping her.

'Santana! You're such a bitch.' She lent backwards and allowed the Latina to rest on her elbows.

'But you love me anyway.'

'I do.' Quinn replied, brushing the hair out of her girlfriend's eyes. 'Come on. Lets get dressed and grab a drink before dinner.'

'Okay. I can finally try and score us some alcohol.' She winked, watching Quinn walk into the bathroom to take a shower.


	54. Chapter 54

**I Guess We're Not Going Anywhere **

'Come on Santana, we're gonna be late again.' Quinn knocked on the bathroom door as she called. Santana had gone in there to get changed after Quinn had finished her shower. They were supposed to go down early for drinks but now it looked like they would be lucky to make it down there in time to meet everyone. With no response from the Latina, Quinn knocked again. 'Come on!' She sighed, running her hands through her hair. Maybe that last dream had more of an effect on Santana than she let on. 'Santana if you're not out in two minutes I'm coming in to get you.' She threatened. But the door was locked, and too thick for her to break through on her own. 'Santana, I mean it.' She was starting to get worried now so she started thumping into the wood with her shoulder. 'Santana!' She yelled. After a few minutes of pounding, the lock on the door clicked open, Quinn gingerly pushing it open. 'Santana?' She said again, but quieter. She saw her girlfriend standing over the sink. She was clothed, but her face was stained with tears and her knuckles were going white as they gripped onto the rim of the sink tightly.

'I'm sorry.' She whispered, sniffing as Quinn walked over to her.

'Don't apologise San.' Quinn walked right up behind her, Santana not moving her eyes from the mirror. The blonde placed a hand on her back, only to have Santana tense up and flinch, her breath catching in her throat as she did so. Quinn pulled back quickly, Santana seeing a look of fear and hurt cross her face. 'It's me Santana, you're okay.' Quinn tried to smile, talk to her and distract her, but it was no use. Santana's hands tightened to the sink even more as sobs over took her.

'I cant make it stop.' She whimpered. 'None of it will ever stop Q.' She finally looked into Quinn's eyes, through her reflection in the mirror but still, and the blonde saw everything. The fear, the panic, the loneliness. Every possible emotion Santana felt was let out in that look, and it broke Quinn's heart.

'Is this because of the dream you just had?' Quinn asked.

'Yeah.' Santana replied, her voice vulnerable and soft.

'San I don't know what I can do to help you here? It was a dream.'

'I know Q!' She abruptly spun around, her hands returning to their normal colour as Quinn backed away. She was somewhat shocked by the sudden movements, the fear in Santana's eyes quickly faded and was replaced with anger. 'I know that it was a dream. It's always a dream, a fucking nightmare, and I just want it to stop.' She shouted. 'I want to wake up already because I'm so fucking tired of it all!' Her head fell towards the floor as she cried harder, realising that she should be shouting at her girlfriend. 'Shit, I'm sorry.' She sobbed, falling backwards onto the hard floor and leaning against the far wall.

'Santana,' Quinn stepped forwards and placed a hand on her knee, after a small flinch Santana relaxed into the touch and looked up into Quinn's beautiful eyes. 'I need you to listen to me, okay?' The brunette nodded, Quinn moving to sit in front of her, crossing her legs but keeping contact. 'You're stronger than this. You know that, I know that, the entire glee club knows that. You just have to give it time.'

'But all I do is cry, and break down and depend on other people to put me back together.' She rubbed her eyes with her hand, thankfully she hadn't done her makeup yet. 'And you, you have all this shit with your parents and I'm not good enough to protect you.' She continued, Quinn just looking at her and smiling. 'What is so funny?'

'You.' Quinn laughed slightly. 'Is that really what you think? That you're not strong enough to protect me?'

'Well do I look like I am?' Santana replied, moving her knees up to her chest.

'Listen to me. You have done nothing but protect me Santana. You were willing to fly home just to let me perform for six minutes. You have opened up your home to me and you have made me feel something again.' She moved in closer to Santana, placing both hands on top of her knees. 'And as for the crying thing.' She smiled. 'It's okay to cry. It's okay to need people. To need me. Because God knows I need you San.' Santana looked at her smiling face as a small one crept onto her own.

'I love you.' She whispered as the blonde moved in and gently pecked her on the lips.

'You too.' She agreed. 'But I'm really sick of giving you these pep talks, so come on.' Santana laughed as Quinn hauled her up. 'Lets go eat. I'm hungry and I know you are.'

'Yeah.' She grinned. 'Q.'

'What?' Quinn turned back to face her and was met with a bone crushing hug.

'Thank you.' Santana buried herself in blonde hair, wrapping her arms around her neck and hanging on.

'You're welcome.' Quinn whispered, stroking the back of Santana's head before the brunette pulled away, moving back to the bathroom mirror to wash her face.

* * *

><p>They arrived downstairs about fifteen minutes later, already noticing everyone except Mr Schu sitting at their table. 'Just once I'd like to not be the last to arrive.' Quinn joked, gripping Santana's hand as they walked over to the table. They sat down and couldn't help notice everyone staring at them.<p>

'What?' Santana said, pouring water from a jug on the table into two glasses.

'Quinn, what happened to your face?' Finn asked.

'Oh,' She looked down, fiddling with her hands in her lap as Santana latched onto them. 'My dad.' She said quietly.

'What? Your dad did that?' Tina looked shocked along with most of the club.

'Yeah, where's Mr Schu anyway?' Quinn changed the subject.

'He's looking for Santana.' Puck informed them, and then he realised something. 'Aren't you supposed to be on a plane right about now?'

'Change of plan.' Santana said. 'The nut job parents were sent packing.' Quinn smiled at the thought, wrapping her arms around Santana's stomach and hugging her side.

'What does that mean for you guys then?' Rachel asked.

'Well, Quinn is going to come and live with me when we get back. That's all there is too it really.' Santana informed them, planting a kiss on the blonde's head as Mr Schu came through the restaurant doors.

'Santana, where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere. We've gotta get going.' He said as he walked towards them.

'I've been in our room Mr Schu, you couldn't have looked that hard.' She grinned, Quinn playfully slapping her shoulder as she sat back up.

'I was asleep and Santana was having a freak out in the bathroom. We probably couldn't hear you.' Quinn clarified for him.

'Wait, what? Quinn, your cheek is bruised.' He sat down opposite them as they filled him in on everything. About Quinn's dad and Santana's nightmare, and about their plans for when they got home. 'Okay then, I guess we're not going anywhere.'

'Nope, and I cant wait to see you guys kick ass tomorrow.' Santana smiled.

'Yeah we have the best set list ever.' Brittany informed her.

'What's the plan for tomorrow then Mr Schu?' Quinn asked, not too sure of what's going to be happening.

'Well the competition officially starts at four in the afternoon but our performance slot is at five thirty, we're one of the last to perform.'

'I suggest morning rehearsal and then some relaxation time before the competition, you know to settle everyone's nerves.' Rachel said.

'Sounds like a plan.' Finn agreed, everyone nodding and smiling.

'Alright then, meet in here at nine am, we want to be bright and alert for as long as possible tomorrow which means a good breakfast. Then we can rehearse until midday and just hang out.'

'Great, now can we eat.' Puck asked, everyone laughing at how much he thought about food.


	55. Chapter 55

**Did You Even Read The Box?**

'Santana, wake up.' Quinn whispered, nuzzling her face into the Latina's neck. 'San.' She said, pulling back to study her girlfriend's face.

'No… no, he's..' She was dreaming again, her eyes frantically moving under her eyelids as Quinn could only watch. 'He's here… he…'

'Santana listen to my voice.' Quinn said, remaining calm as she tried the gentle approach. 'He's not here. You're safe with me, I promise.' Quinn stroked the top of Santana's hair, occasionally planting tender kisses onto her face.

'Q…. he'll, they'll find us…' She said, her teeth clenching shortly after whilst she grabbed onto Quinn's pyjama top.

'Sweetie try and hear me.' She set her head down on the pillow next to Santana, still stroking her face as she continued. 'They wont find us because we're in our world now. We're together and we're safe.' She felt Santana's grip loosen, the brunette rolling over onto her side to face Quinn. Then her eyes opened.

'You promise?' She said, not sounding like herself. So quiet and scared.

'I promise.' Quinn said firmly, wiping away a tear from Santana's face. 'Come on.' She smiled, sitting up and taking her girlfriend with her. 'Today's the big day.' She grinned, Santana joining her shortly after.

'It is.' Santana confirmed, the blonde jumping up and heading for the bathroom.

'I'll be out in no time and we can go eat, okay?'

'Yeah, sounds good.' Santana smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. She watched as Quinn closed the door and then sighed, leaning her head back onto the pillow and covering her eyes. 'Shit.' She whispered, her head pounding and her stomach churning. She knew that the nightmares were more frequent this year, whether the whole Quinn situation had anything to do with it she wasn't sure, but she needed it to be over already so that she could get on wit her life. She threw the covers to the floor and swung her legs over the side, her first attempt at standing up failing as dizziness overtook her. She slumped back down onto the mattress and tried to compose herself. Headache tablets. She had some in her bag so they might help. She walked over to her bag, all it's contents spilling out anyway, and rummaged through the side pocket. It was like a drug store in there. What with her strong prescription medication and everything she had for aches and pains she could probably be arrested for looking like a supplier. Oh well, she needed them. Opening a new packed of tablets and popping out six, she knocked on the bathroom door.

'What is it San?' Quinn asked, opening the door with a towel wrapped around her.

'I just need a glass of water quickly, I have a killer headache.' She smiled tentatively.

'Oh, well go lie down. I'll get it for you.' She smiled, kissing Santana's forehead and then heading to the sink. The Latina did what she was told, lying down on the bed and putting a pillow over her face. Everything was hurting her eyes, making the pounding pulsate throughout her skull. 'Santana?'

'Mmmm.' She grumbled, not looking out from under her pillow.

'We're you going to take all of these? In one go?' Quinn sounded scared.

'Yeah, what's the problem?' Santana complained, finally lifting the pillow away from her face and sitting up.

'Did you even read the box? The recommended amount for an adult is two every four hours.' She started putting four of the pills back in the box. 'I know you can handle strong meds, but six is ridiculous Santana.'

'Fine, whatever. I'll take two.' She sighed, setting herself back down on the bed as Quinn came over to her.

'Does it really hurt that bad?' Quinn said gently, brushing the dark hair from her girlfriends eyes as she rolled onto her side.

'It's like someone has taken a sledge hammer to my skull.' She admitted. 'And if you don't move I'm afraid I might throw up on you.' She grinned.

'Not funny.' Quinn said, picking up the glass of water and the pills from the side as Santana sat herself up.

'I'm not joking Q. Although, if I puke on you you'd have to get out of that towel…' She said playfully.

'Not the time for sex jokes.' Quinn giggled, handing her the first pill and watching as she swallowed it.

'Any time is the time for sex jokes Q.' Santana grinned, taking the other pill and swallowing it before sipping the water. Again it caught in her dry throat, causing her to cough harshly.

'Hey, easy.' Quinn said, rubbing her back and leaning her head forwards, she did not need her to start choking on pills.

'I'm fine.' Santana said coarsely, sitting back up and leaning her head on the headboard. 'You need to get going, you'll be late again.' Santana pointed her in the direction of the clock. Eight forty-five.

'Shit. Okay.' She said, almost dashing back into the bathroom until she realised. 'You mean we'll be late. Your coming right?' She sat back down on the bed.

'Quinn if I even look at food right now I will puke. And the amount of loud crap that comes out of Berry's mouth will probably drive me nuts. So I think I'm gonna stay here. For a while at least. I promise I'll come down and watch you rehearse.'

'You sure?' Quinn asked, stroking her leg comfortingly as she looked at her.

'Positive.' She grinned. 'Now move your skinny white ass into that shower before I rip that towel off of you.'

'Santana!' Quinn laughed.

'What Q? I'm only a woman and I cannot control myself if you're gonna be all sexy in front of me.' She put her hands up in a defensive position, causing Quinn to laugh harder as she finally walked back to the bathroom.

'You're so weird San,' She called back, the brunette grinning before settling back down into the comfort of the duvet which she had managed to haul back up from the floor.

A few minutes later, she wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she felt Quinn kiss her on the forehead before leaving the room. The blonde must have thought she was asleep, but the pain in her head wouldn't let her rest. She wasn't even sure she wanted to go to sleep if Quinn wasn't by her side. She heard the door to the room close and she was alone. Her eyes still refused to open because, even though the curtains were pulled, the light throughout the room seemed to hurt her. She sighed in frustration, the pills she had taken earlier having no effect, and rubbed at her closed eyes with her hand. She sat up, hoping that a change in position would help the pain, or make some sort of difference. And it did. A few seconds later she was sprinting into the bathroom and flinging open the toilet lid. She was used to throwing up, not that it didn't suck every time it happened, but she was used to the feeling. The worst thing about it was how empty she felt afterwards. Most people would feel free, like all the shit had been taken out of them and they could start again. A release. Not Santana though. She felt like everything was being taken from her. Every time she emptied her stomach she felt hollow and empty. That was the worst thing about throwing up for her. She groggily lifted herself up from the floor after she was sure nothing else would come up, flushed the toilet and practically crawled back into the room. She looked at the clock. Quinn had only been gone for an hour so there was no way she could text her so soon. Sighing she climbed up onto the mattress, not bothering to pull any cover over herself, and was still. Trying to drift off with her head at the wrong end of the bed and one arm hanging over the side seemed like an impossible task for her but it was all she could do. She didn't have the energy to do anything else.


	56. Chapter 56

**Technicality **

Quinn didn't realise what time it was until they stopped rehearsing to have a drink. It was almost half eleven and there was still no sign of her girlfriend, who had promised to come down before they finished at midday. She screwed the top back on her bottle of water and put it on the table, realising a few moments later the someone was standing beside her. 'Are you alright Quinn? You look like you're somewhere else completely.' Rachel said as she too put her drink down.

'Sorry, I guess I'm just worried.' Quinn smiled weakly at her.

'About Santana?'

'Yeah. She was really sick again this morning.' Quinn informed her, Brittany coming to stand by their side.

'Santana was sick again?' She questioned, over hearing the last thing Quinn said.

'Yeah Brit, she had a headache and felt like she was going to throw up. Was it this bad last year?' Quinn wondered, the dancer shaking her head.

'No, but I wasn't with her all of the time, you know, school and stuff. It might have been.'

'Quinn I'm sure she's fine.' Rachel assured her. 'She hasn't slept much on this trip so maybe her body has finally decided to catch up on some rest.' She squeezed the side of her friend's arm.

'Yeah, you're probably right.' Quinn nodded. 'I just don't want to miss any signs.'

'What signs?' Brittany asked.

'Come on, she used to cut herself.' Quinn almost whispered in the fear of someone hearing her. 'If she starts again, if she hurts herself, and I don't see it.' She shook her head. 'I'll never forgive myself if I sit by and let her get hurt any more.'

'Quinn you are so good for her, cant you see that?' Rachel looked over the blonde with concerned eyes.

'She tried to take six headache pills this morning.' Quinn said bluntly.

'Six?' Both girls looked at her, astounded.

'Yeah, and if I wasn't there to tell her no, she would have taken them all. And probably more.'

'Didn't she read the recommended intake guidelines? They're clearly printed on the box so maybe she just read it wrong?' Rachel tried to rationalise.

'No, she knew what she was doing. All she cares about it numbing the pain. She would have kept taking them until she couldn't feel anything anymore.'

'You're worried about her overdosing.' Rachel said, Brittany simply standing there looking helpless.

'I am terrified, every time I leave her on her own.' Quinn admitted as she fought off tears. 'Look, I'm gonna ask to cut out early, I'll see you later.' She smiled at them subtly as she headed over to their teacher. 'Mr Schu.' She called on her way, the man turning to face her.

'Quinn, is everything alright?'

'I don't know, but I need to be excused.' She said, frantically as if she were trying to escape.

'We only have,' he looked at his watch. 'Not even half an hour left, cant it wait while we run through the number once more?'

'No, Mr Schu it's Santana.'

'Is she okay?' He moved towards her, the look of worry on his face almost too much for Quinn to bear.

'I don't know, I just need to check on her.' Mr Schu sighed. 'She was really ill this morning and I don't like leaving her. Please Mr Schu.' She begged, causing him to agree reluctantly.

'Okay. But bring her down here if you can. That way we can all keep an eye on her and maybe I can get an extra fifteen minutes rehearsal time.'

'Thank you Mr Schu.' She smiled, running out of the hall and back up to the room.

* * *

><p>'Santana?' Quinn said gently as she pushed open the door to their hotel room. The curtains were closed but it was still light as she walked around the corner. She let out a sigh of relief as she walked over to the beds and saw her girlfriend. One arm was dangling down by the side of the bed, her head being shielded by a pillow she had managed to drag over from the other end of the bed. She sat down next to the Latina, lifting the pillow from her head and studying her face. She had been crying. The tear lines were stained onto her face and Quinn saw how bad she looked. It broke her heart to see her like that, hoping that it would be over for her soon. She gently stroked the side of Santana's face, listening to her heavy breathing. 'San.' She whispered, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead.<p>

'Q?' She mumbled, not opening her eyes.

'Yeah, It's me San, are you okay?'

'No, I..' She licked her lips, her mouth dry and uncomfortable. 'I feel sick.'

'I know baby, I know.' She sighed, Santana's eyes opening as another tear fell from her eye and dropped onto the bed. She tried to push herself up, Quinn putting two arms around her stomach and helping to lift her. She then set her back at the top of the bed so that she could lean on the headboard.

'What are you doing here Q?' Santana asked.

'I came to look for you. You said you'd come down.' Quinn reminded her, stroking the back of Santana's hand that was still entwined with her own.

'Shit, what time is it?' Santana asked, turning her head to look at the blonde.

'It's,' Quinn looked at the clock by the bed. 'Almost twelve.'

'I'm sorry.' Santana whispered, swallowing harshly.

'It's okay.' Quinn assured her. 'But Mr Schu wants me to get back so do you think you can come down with me?' Santana nodded, Quinn not overly convinced but she really didn't want her to be alone anymore.

'Yeah, just let me get dressed okay?' She smiled, swinging her legs over the bed whilst Quinn got her jeans and a top. 'Thanks.' The brunette smiled, taking them and changing without getting up.

'Okay?' Quinn asked, Santana having closed her eyes once more.

'Yeah, I'm good.' Santana opened her eyes and smiled at her girlfriend, extending a hand as Quinn hauled her up. As they made their way out of the room and down the hall, Quinn knew she would have to hold the Latina up. She could barely stand and was holding on to anything she could, one hand around Quinn's waist as the other brushed along the wall beside her. Quinn too put her arm around Santana's waist, gripping onto her other hand as she led her down the hall.

'Santana, you're not okay.' Quinn said as they reached the elevator, leaning Santana up against the side of it as she pressed for the lobby.

'I'm fine.' She replied, swallowing harshly.

'San..'

'Mr Schu gave you a solo didn't he?' Santana cut her off, the blonde looking momentarily confused.

'Erm, yeah. Why is that important?' Quinn questioned as Santana grinned at her.

'Because, if my baby has a solo, at nationals none the less, I will be there to support her, all the way. That means rehearsals too.'

'But San, you can hardly stand up.' Quinn pointed out.

'Technicality.' Santana replied, trying her best to shrug.

'Santana.' Quinn shook her head at the brunette disapprovingly but she couldn't hide the smile on her face.

'Just sit me in a chair with a bottle of water and I'm golden.' She smiled, gripping onto the railing behind her as the elevator descended. 'But you might have to shake that fine ass of yours for me too.' She winked.

'Santana!' Quinn giggled as the elevator pinged onto the ground floor. The blonde moving over to her and supporting her weight as they left, grinning the entire time as Santana rested her head on her girlfriends shoulder.


	57. Chapter 57

**Looking Good Up There**

They walked cautiously through the rehearsal room doors, Quinn holding one open and helping Santana through. The smaller girl was still resting into Quinn's side, her head resting heavily on her shoulder. 'You okay?' Quinn whispered in her ear as their arrival was noticed by some of the other glee members.

'Yeah.' Santana replied heavily, watching Brittany bounce over to them.

'Hey San.'

'Hey Brit.' Santana smiled, Quinn taking over the conversation.

'B, can you get a bottle of water please?'

'Sure. I'll be right back.' She smiled, squeezing the brunettes shoulder before heading over to the refreshment table. Mr Schu was the next to approach them with a concerned look on his face.

'Santana, how are you feeling?' He asked gently, Santana trying to lift her head from her girlfriends shoulders.

'Like a million bucks.' She grinned. 'Are you guys rehearsing or what?' Mr Schu smiled at her.

'Yes we are, we have an extra half an hour so Quinn if you want to join us.' He motioned to the stage where everyone else was waiting.

'Yeah Mr Schu, give me a sec.' She replied, their teacher nodding as he walked over to the rest of the group. 'Come on San.' Quinn continued, leading Santana slowly over to one of the chairs against one of the walls. She sat her down and looked her over, the brunettes eyes closing as she set her head back against the wall. They quickly opened hen a soft hand ran itself up and down her cheek. 'San?'

'I'm fine,' She swallowed, putting on a smile as Brittany came back over to them.

'Here you go S.' She handed her a chilled bottle of water, Santana gratefully accepting it.

'Thanks. Now you two need to get your buts up on that stage.'

'Okay.' Quinn said, kissing her firmly on the forehead before letting Brittany take her hand and drag her up onto the stage. She knew that Santana was right there, in the room with her, but nothing would stop her worrying about the girl. Mr Schu then got the ball rolling with one of their group numbers. They had two songs everyone sang together, and then Quinn had her solo. She had already rehearsed it and had asked Mr Schu not to tell Santana what it was, she wanted to surprise her girlfriend at the actual performance. So they concentrated on the choreography and staging for the larger numbers whilst their teacher stepped aside to talk to Santana.

'Hey Mr Schu.' Santana greeted, looking up at him as he pressed his back against the wall beside her. He smiled down at her sympathetically. 'Looking good up there.'

'Yeah we are.' He agreed, his tone changing to something much more woeful. 'I'm really sorry, about everything Santana.' She looked up at him as the smile faded from her face.

'Yeah me too.' She looked down fiddling with the top of her water bottle. 'I'm sorry I let all of you guys down.'

'That's not what I mean Santana.' He looked at her and she already knew that, it was just easier to focus on glee.

'I know Mr Schu. But I'm still sorry about it.' She shrugged. 'I guess I'll have to audition again next year if you're ever gonna let me back in huh?' She joked.

'Santana look at me.' He said kneeling down and looking up at her. 'You have nothing to be sorry for.' He smiled. 'And you are still a part of this glee club alright, this is everyone's achievement regardless of whether they are performing or not.'

'Thanks Mr Schu.' She finally smiled again.

'But don't you want to go to a doctor? I mean you've been ill for almost two weeks now.'

'No, Mr Schu, I'm fine. It always goes like this, I'll be over it in a couple more weeks.'

'Okay then, what about a psychiatrist?' Her eyes shot through him like daggers at that moment. She didn't mean to come across hostile but she couldn't help it.

'No.' She said bluntly. She had thought about talking to Miss Pillsbury, for Quinn, but she knew she wouldn't do it unless someone pushed her.

'Why not Santana?' Mr Schu stood back up. 'Someone might be able to help you through this. You don't have to do everything alone.'

'I'm not alone.' She replied, drinking some of her water as she focused on a mess of blonde hair on the stage.

'I know you have Quinn, and Brittany, which is great. But I know Brittany isn't the easiest person to talk to, and Quinn has her own battles to face now Santana. Maybe if you see someone, it will benefit them as well.' He sighed after not getting a response from the Latina, walking back to the edge of the stage as he heard the music ending as Santana sat there lost in her own mind. What if her teacher was right? I mean, she is a pain in everyone's asses, maybe if she talked to someone else instead of piling it all up on Quinn, it would make things easier for everyone? But then again, how could she do it? Just sit there and spill out her darkest secrets to a stranger. That was the point of therapy but it just didn't feel right to her. She would talk to Quinn about it later, that's for sure, because if they were a real couple she didn't want any secrets from her and she wanted to make decisions with her. She knew right in that moment, as the gorgeous figure of her girlfriend was walking back over to her, that she would see someone if Quinn asked her to.

'Hey.' Quinn said, leaning over and pecking her on the lips.

'Hey to you too.' She grinned, licking her lips after pulling away. She then handed Quinn her bottle of water and cleared her throat. 'Q?'

'San.' Quinn looked down on her slightly confused about her facial expression.

'I need to talk to you about something.'

'Okay, what is it?' Quinn laughed slightly, kneeling in front of her with her hands on Santana's knees.

'Not now okay, I want you to focus on the competition. Later?'

'Anything you want.' Quinn agreed, both girls smiling as Quinn got back up. Only this time Santana followed and pulled her into an almost bone crunching hug. 'Woah,' Quinn giggled, returning the affection Santana was showing her. 'Are you sure you're okay?'

'I'm great.' Santana pulled away and nodded. A few moments passed where their eyes were locked, Santana then pressing their lips together gently as a few whistles erupted from the glee clubbers. They unlocked lips and turned around to face everyone, Santana's head resting on Quinn's chest as they displayed their smiles.

'Get a room!' Puck yelled.

'We've got one Puckerman.' Santana called back, Quinn wrapping an arm around her shoulders and noticing Puck's grin widen.

'You're not invited.' Quinn added, the boys face dropping as Lauren slapped him around the head, laughter bubbling over from everyone else. Even Mr Schu had a sly grin on his face.


	58. Chapter 58

**Who The Fuck Are You?**

Rehearsal ended quickly. Everyone only hanging in the hall momentarily to decide how to spend their last few hours before the competition. Rachel snuck in a comment about more rehearsal which was pretty much ignored by everyone, and then ended up agreeing just to walk around the mall and grab some lunch. Well, everyone apart from Mr Schu who had to go and make sure everything was prepared for later, and Santana and Quinn, who opted for some quiet time together. They said goodbye to everyone Mr Schu shouting at them to meet back stage at three thirty, and then walked slowly back up to the room. They didn't talk at all on their way back, Quinn simply supported Santana around the waist as they went. She could feel that something was wrong with Santana, and she had said that she needed to talk to her about something. Quinn just wanted to know what it was. She opened the door to their room and both girls stepped inside, Quinn kicking it closed with her foot as they went in and then setting Santana down on the bed. She quickly pulled herself towards the pillow, hugging it in her arms and closing her eyes. The next thing she knew Quinn was lying behind her, wrapping one arm across her and leaning her head on her shoulder. 'San, talk to me.' She whispered, planting kisses on her shoulder and neck.

'I will, later.' She replied without opening her eyes.

'I know something's bothering you San.' Quinn said, pulling her in tighter.

'It's not that big of a deal, okay?' Santana informed her. 'It can wait.'

'Santana,' Quinn sighed, pressing more soft kisses on the back of her girlfriend's neck. 'Please.' She whispered.

'I just….' She begin, rolling over so that they were looking into each others eyes. 'I cant help feeling that I'm messing everything up for you.' She said shyly.

'Why do you think that?' Quinn asked, stroking the side of her face as she waited for the Latina to respond.

'Because… your dad is being a prick to you because you're with me, and you haven't gotten hardly any sleep on this trip, and all I do is break down..' Quinn cut her off.

'Stop it.'

'But..' Santana protested.

'No buts. We've been through this before San, and you just need to shut up.' She smiled, kissing her on the lips.

'But Q, you're being forced out of your home because of me.' She took the blonde's hand in her own and entwined their fingers. 'All I can think is how much better off you would be right now if you never knew about any of my shit.' Quinn sighed. She had no idea how to get it into Santana's head that none of this was her fault.

'San, listen to me okay?' Santana nodded. 'I love you. That's all there is too it. I think finding out about….. your stuff, was the best thing that could have happened for us. You know why?' She grinned.

'Why?' Santana asked.

'Because it told me more about you as a person than I ever would have known otherwise. And it helped me fall madly in love with you.' Quinn leaned in to kiss her once more.

'You know Q, you're a really smooth talker.' Santana joked.

'What can I say?' Quinn grinned, shrugging her shoulders the best she could from her lying down position. But then the smile on Santana's face faded. 'What?'

'There was something else.' She began.

'What is it?' Quinn questioned, pulling them closer to each other.

'Mr Schu and I were talking during rehearsal, and he thinks that I would help both of us if I talked to someone, a professional someone, about everything. And I don't know what to do.'

'Well, do you want my honest opinion?' Quinn asked, sitting up so that she was looking down over Santana, continuing to stroke her hair.

'Of course.' Santana nodded.

'I think you should see somebody. I know it will be hard. I know it's not an easy thing to do San, but I think you need it. And I'll come with you if you want me to, so that you're not alone.'

'Okay.' Santana said quietly, a look of mild shock forming on Quinn's face.

'Seriously? Okay?'

'Yeah, I'll go.' Santana smiled weakly, Quinn pulling her up into a hug and just holding her.

'Thank you.' She whispered through a mass of dark hair, the brunette gripping her tighter. 'And you can always start with Miss P. Maybe then if she cant help we can look for someone else.'

'Yeah, that sounds okay.' Santana smiled timidly.

'Now.' Quinn looked at her watch. 'We have a show to get ready for.'

'Oh my God, it's gone three already?' Santana asked, not sure where the last few hours had gone.

'It is. So I'm going to shower and get dressed and then you can go, okay?' Santana nodded, lying back onto her pillow as she waited for Quinn to emerge from the bathroom.

* * *

><p>'Hey, San..' Quinn whispered. Santana felt a hand stroking the side of her face.<p>

'What…?' Her eyes fluttered open gingerly as she tried to focus. Quinn was standing over her with a soft smile on her face.

'You fell asleep. Come on, you need to get ready.' Quinn took her hands and pulled her up, releasing her so that she could press her hands over her eyes.

'Mmmm, okay.' Santana groaned. 'Do you want to go ahead? You'll be late otherwise.' Santana said, looking at the clock next to the bed.

'Damn, I completely lost track of time. Is that okay?' Quinn looked over the small girl with concern in her eyes.

'God, yeah. Go Quinn. I'll come find you guys, I remember where Mr Schu said we were sitting.' She smiled, running a hand through her hair as Quinn smiled at her.

'I love you San.' She said, looking down over her girlfriend.

'Love you too.' Santana replied, standing up and pulling Quinn into a tight hug. 'Now get a move on Fabray.' She pecked her on the lips and winked at her as she walked backwards to the door.

'I'll see you down there?' Quinn asked.

'Yeah, see you down there.' Santana replied, the smile on her face faltering as soon as Quinn was out of the room. She let out a long breath and walked into the bathroom, the smell of Quinn's shampoo and body wash still strong in the air. She walked over to the mirror and wiped off the condensation, staring at the person looking back at her. 'Who the fuck are you?' She whispered to herself. And it was true, she didn't know who she was any more. She had Quinn and Brittany and the glee club. She had parents, even though they were hardly around. She did okay in school. So what was she missing? It was something she had been looking for since that night, something they took from her, but she could never place what it was. Feelings of safety and strength, of faith and freedom? What was it? All she knew right in that moment, looking down at the razor Quinn had left out on the side, was how easy it would be just to end it. She wouldn't have to go back to Lima. She wouldn't have to deal with the nightmares and the fear and the feeling of having no control. She would be the one in control. She would be the one who decided what happened to her, no one else. She had done it before after all.


	59. Chapter 59

**You Make It real For Me**

'But Santana's not here yet Mr Schu!' Quinn protested, their teacher trying to get them into position back stage as their performance slot was only minutes away. 'We have to wait for her.'

'Quinn, we don't have time. We're performing in five minutes and we have only got one shot at this. I'm sure Santana will be out there.' Mr Schu put a comforting hand on her shoulder as he walked to the front of the group. 'Now guys, I want to congratulate everyone on getting this far. I'm so proud of all of you and I cant wait to see you're performance. So, don't be nervous, give everything you've got and I know we can win this thing.' He grinned, clapping and getting them pumped up for what they were about to do. Quinn wasn't having any of it though. All she could think about was Santana. She promised Quinn she would be right down and now that she was no where in sight a million different scenarios were running through Quinn's mind. What if she took more pills? What if she overdosed? Oh god, I left the razor out, what if she saw it and started….? She couldn't even think of the horrible reasons why her girlfriend wasn't by her side. But then again, maybe Santana just fell asleep again, and she would be so mad at herself for missing the performance when she woke up. Regardless of the reason, she needed to get up there.

'Mr Schu.' She ran to the front of the group. 'Mr Schu I need to go and see if she's okay.' Quinn said, panic spreading throughout her mind.

'No, Quinn I'm sorry but we're on in literally one minute.'

'_And now from McKinley High in Lima Ohio, The New Directions…..'_

'Quinn, that's your cue, come on.' Puck reminded her, grabbing her arm with his free hand, guitar in the other. Quinn's solo was up first, Puck accompanying her on the guitar and Finn on the drums. She walked fearfully out onto the stage, the curtain raising to a round of applause as the three glee clubbers got into position. She stood silently in front of the microphone and scanned the audience. The lights were almost blinding her as she looked through the crowd. She looked over to their assigned seats and her heart stopped. Santana was there. She wasn't asleep, or hurt or anything except right there. And she looked perfect. A smile spread across Quinn's face as she saw Santana smiling up at her, the brunette waiting to hear her perform. Then the music kicked in;

_Mmmm, there's so much craziness, surrounding me.  
><em>_There's so much going on, it gets hard to breathe.  
><em>_When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me.  
><em>_You make it real for me._

She held the microphone with both palms wrapped around it, a single white spot light on her as she sang, and her eyes glued to Santana. This was for her and she needed her to know that.

_When I'm not sure of, my priorities.  
><em>_When I've lost sight of, of where I'm meant to be.  
><em>_Like holy water, washing over me.  
><em>_You make it real for me._

_And I, run into you baby.  
><em>_You, are the only one who'll save me.  
><em>_That's why I, I've been missing you lately.  
><em>_Cause you make it real for me._

She took the microphone off of it's stand and began to walk across the stage until she was in line with Santana. Her girlfriend was only about ten rows back so she could easily see her. She waved gently and blew a kiss in her direction before starting the next verse.

_When my head is strong, but my heart is weak.  
><em>_I'm full of arrogance, and uncertainty.  
><em>_I can find the words, you teach my heart to speak.  
><em>_You make it real for me, yeah._

Standing up again, she walked backwards across the stage. She could see Santana was crying, but she hoped they were happy tears, and circled Puck who was strumming away on his guitar. He winked at her in approval as he continued, Quinn nodding to Finn on the drums.

_And I, run into you baby.  
><em>_You, are the only one who'll save me.  
><em>_That's why I, I've been missing you lately.  
><em>_Cause you make it real for me._

_Oh, everybody's talking, in words I don't understand.  
><em>_You've got to be the only one, who knows just who I am.  
><em>_You're shining in the distance, I hope I can make it through.  
><em>_Cause the only place, I want to be, is right back home with you. _

The music grew softer, Quinn's voice barely a whisper as she sang the next few lines. She was singing them directly to Santana, the brunette suddenly thankful that she hadn't acted on her thoughts in the bathroom hours before.

_I guess there's so much more, I have to learn.  
><em>_But if you're here with me, I know which way to turn.  
><em>_You always give me somewhere, somewhere I can run.  
><em>_You make it real for me._

Jumping up into the final chorus, Quinn grinned and looked up to the ceiling. She didn't know when she had started crying too.

_And I, run into you baby.  
><em>_You, are the only one who'll save me.  
><em>_That's why I, I've been missing you lately.  
><em>_Cause you make it real for me.  
><em>_You make it real for me._

The music stopped, Finn pounding on the drums one last time as they were met with a round of applause. Quinn looked over to Santana who was on her feet clapping as she tried to wipe her tears away. She mouthed 'I love you' to the blonde, who did the same in return as the rest of the glee members joined her on the stage. The rest of their performance was a blur, powering through two group numbers in seemingly no time. Santana sat clapping along and smiling, wishing she was up there too. Mr Schu was in the wings grinning, cheering them on. And as they finished their final number everyone was on their feet to applaud them. They ran off of the stage as the curtain came back down, Quinn was smiling the whole time and grinned wider at who was standing beside their teacher.

'San!' She yelled, running into the brunette's arms.

'Hey,' She whispered into blonde hair. 'You were amazing.' Santana held her tighter. 'All of you guys,' She added, pulling away from Quinn. 'Were really, really good.'

'I have to agree.' Mr Schu said, still grinning. 'All of you,' He made a point of looking at Santana as well. 'I'm really proud of you.'

'Thanks Mr Schu.' Finn said for all of them, and then they went back to their seats to watch the final performances.


	60. Chapter 60

**I Was Thinking About It.**

They were sitting in the audience watching the final three schools perform, Vocal adrenaline looking better than ever so most of the kids were slightly on edge. Santana was leaning on Quinn's shoulder, their hands linked between them. The last act finished and they clapped them as they walked off of the stage. _'Thank you Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, the competition is now at it's end. The results will be posted shortly in the main lobby. Good Luck.' _With that they all stood up, Santana and Quinn walking out hand in hand with the rest of the glee club. They then went to stand as a group in the lobby, waiting for the results to be posted.

'I know you're nervous guys but I have a really good feeling about this.' Mr Schu grinned, rocking back and forth on his heels.

'I do to Mr Schu, we completely killed that performance.' Puck said enthusiastically.

'I would like to personally congratulate Quinn,' Rachel turned to her, the blonde smiling. 'I think that was the most heart warming version of that song I've ever heard.'

'Thanks Rachel.' Quinn looked at her, sort of shocked, but grateful.

'Damn straight it was, my baby is awesome.' Santana grinned, hugging her waist and planting a kiss on the cheek.

'It was for you San. To make you happy.' Quinn blushed, kicking her feet along the ground.

'I know, thank you.' Santana whispered, kissing her on the lips this time.

'Guys!' They herd Artie calling them, being wheeled around the corner towards them by Brittany. 'Guys the list is up! Come on!' He frantically waved them over, lots of them exhaling before beginning to walk to the results board.

'I cant look Mr Schu.' Rachel said, clinging onto Finn's arm with nervousness.

'I'll go.' He said firmly, wait here. He walked over to the board, scanning down it patiently as he searched for the name of his glee club. He walked back over to them with a solemn look on his face.

'What is it Mr Schu? What'd we rank?' Finn asked, Mr Schu still unemotional.

'We came fourth.' He said with a grin. 'We finished in the top five!' They began to cheer and clap, it wasn't first place but it was an achievement none the less, one they could all be proud of.

'That's awesome Mr Schu!' Sam said, their teacher looking around at all of their smiling faces.

'And you know what the best part is?' Mr Schu grinned. 'We finished two places higher than Vocal Adrenaline.'

'Ha! That'll teach those pretty boys Mr Schu.' Puck grinned.

'Alright,' Mr Schu clapped his hands together. 'How about we go out for a celebratory dinner, my treat?'

'Good idea Mr Schu.' Quinn concurred, still clinging onto Santana.

'How about the same restaurant we went to before, just down the road.'

'Yeah, that place was nice Mr Schu.' Brittany agreed.

'Okay then, same drill, everybody meet back in the hotel lobby at eight and we'll go celebrate.'

* * *

><p>Quinn and Santana were the last ones in the elevator as usual, heading up to their room to get ready for a fun evening out. They walked down the hall hand in hand and I silence, Quinn still coming down from her performance buzz as she opened the door and led them inside. As soon as they were in and the door was closed, Santana grabbed Quinn's shoulders and pressed her up against the wall, kissing her lips fiercely. 'Mmm, San.' Quinn laughed.<p>

'Sorry.' The Latina pulled back, wiping her lips and rocking on her heels. 'You're just so damn sexy when you sing.' She grinned.

'Well, I know that already San.' She joked, kissing her again. 'But we have to get ready.'

'Sure, yeah. I really want to go out with everyone when I could be locked in a room all night with an incredibly hot blonde.' She smiled as Quinn went into the bathroom to shower, her face still grinning as she flopped down onto the bed. Quinn came out a few minutes later, hair dripping and no make up on.

'Hey.' She said, sitting on the bed next to Santana.

'Hey yourself.' She looked up at Quinn, pulling the girl into a hug as she sat up.

'Can I ask you something?' Quinn wondered, Santana's playful expression changing at the seriousness of Quinn's voice.

'Yeah, anything.' She said quietly.

'What took you so long earlier? To come down I mean. I thought you were gonna come and us before we went on?' Santana sighed, running her hand through her hair.

'I was…' She swallowed. 'I was in the bathroom, getting ready and…' She looked away from Quinn, feeling the tears coming.

'And what? San.' She said gently, placing a hand on her arm and gently stroking it.

'I saw the razor you left on the sink.' She looked back at Quinn, the blonde seeing the guilt flood through her eyes.

'Oh San. I thought we talked about this?'

'We did,but I saw it and was thinking…' Quinn cut her off.

'Don't you dare tell me you were thinking about killing yourself.' Quinn said, rather angrily as she watched a tear fall from Santana's face.

'But I was thinking about it Q. I..' She sobbed. 'I was fucking thinking about it.' Quinn pulled her into a hug before Santana made herself panic further.

'Shhh, it's okay.' Quinn stroked the back of her hair whilst she fought off her own tears. 'Everything will be okay.' She whispered.

'But what if it isn't?' Santana asked, her voice sounding more and more broken every time Quinn heard it.

'It will be San. Remember what we agreed, you can talk to Miss P and I'll be right there with you. You can get everything out and we will be able to help you get better okay?'

'You don't understand Q.' She said softly, lying her head on Quinn's chest as she calmed herself down.

'Then make me understand Santana.'

'I thought about,' She wiped her nose on her sleeve. 'I thought about dying a few hours ago and it didn't scare me. It was like I needed to do something to tell myself that I'm in control. That if I died, on my terms and no one else's, it would all be fine.'

'But then you wouldn't be here with me.' Quinn said, kissing her on the top of the head.

'Exactly. You wouldn't have to look after me, or worry about me. Or wonder what couldn happen if you leave me alone with pills and a razor.' Santana joked, Quinn looking down at her. 'I know you worry about me all the time and it's not fair.'

'That's not true San, and you worry about me too right?' Santana nodded. 'Exactly so we're even. We need each other Santana so don't think about leaving me again. Please.' She whispered as she kissed the top of Santana's head a few more times.

'I'm sorry.' The brunette sat up, wiping her eyes and trying to shake everything off.

'It's okay San, but can we please be happy today? We finished fourth for Christ's sake!' Santana laughed at the smiling blonde in front of her.

'Yeah, definitely.' She agreed, jumping off of the bed and heading to have a shower.

'And San.' Quinn stopped her, Santana spinning on her heels.

'Yeah?'

'When I tell you that I love you, I mean it okay?' Santana smiled.

'Me to babe.' She winked, leaving the blonde sitting alone on the bed. She exhaled heavily and set her back on the bed, thinking about everything that had happened over such a short space of time. She didn't understand how Santana could be so happy one minute and so sad the next. How she could even think about killing herself was also a mystery to the blonde. But whatever Santana needed Quinn knew she would try and give it to her. She would do anything.


	61. Chapter 61

**You'll Like It, I Swear**

'You ready Barbie?' Santana said as she walked out of the bathroom, fully dressed and ready to go. Quinn was lying on the bed waiting for her, her face screwing up in confusion as she heard Santana's new name for her. She sat up and looked at her girlfriend, trying not to laugh.

'Barbie? Really?' Santana shrugged.

'Thought I'd try it, doesn't really suit you.' Santana admitted.

'Oh really, I think I could have told you that.' She joked, standing up and walking over to her girlfriend. 'You look really pretty San.' She said, looking the Latina over. She was wearing a pale purple dress with a small black cardigan, her hair was wavy and she looked a lot better than previous nights.

'Yeah well, you can thank a really hot shower and a ton of cover up.' She laughed. 'And you, Ms Fabray, look perfect.' Santana kissed her on the cheek before finishing combing her hair. Quinn's pale grey jeans looking good with a black halter top she borrowed from Santana's suitcase. But then Quinn noticed something as Santana put her hairbrush down on the table, so she took her girlfriends hand in her own. 'You're shaking again.' Quinn pointed out, stroking the back of Santana's hand with her fingers.

'Yeah, I..' Santana paused. 'I have been for a while. I'm trying to ignore it.' She laughed, pulling free of Quinn's grasp and clenching her fist closed.

'San you cant just ignore it.' Quinn smiled, brushing a stray hand of brown hair out of Santana's eyes.

'I know.' She admitted sadly. 'But I don't know, what I'm supposed to do about it.'

'Do you want to talk to me?' Quinn asked kindly, the brunette sighing under her breath.

'No. I'm fine. Can we please just go out and have a nice dinner. You deserve a fun night Quinn.'

'I do don't I.' She laughed, Santana grabbing her hand and pulling her from the room.

* * *

><p>'Alright.' Mr Schu shouted as he saw the girls walking over. 'Everyone's here so lets get a move on, I reserved a table for us at eight fifteen so we need to get going.'<p>

'Looking hot tonight Brit.' Quinn said, she and Santana walking with Artie and Brittany.

'I know right.' The blonde admitted, bouncing with happiness as she pushed Artie along.

'Seriously though you guys, I was really proud of you today.' Santana said, Quinn linking their hands.

'Aww thanks Santana.' Artie said. 'We missed you up there.' He grinned up at her.

'Thanks Wheels.' She winked at him and they carried on walking. A few minutes later they rounded a corner, their eyes settling on a small restaurant across the street. There was a sign hanging down above the entrance and lengths of white fairy lights twisted around all of the windows.

'Wow.' Quinn exclaimed, all of the glee club momentarily standing still to take in the scenery.

'Yeah,' Santana agreed. 'Would be kind of romantic if the entire glee club wasn't here.' She grinned, Quinn playfully knocking into her shoulder.

'Come on guys.' Mr Schu led them across the road and into the restaurant, waiting in the reception area for someone to take them to their table. 'Hi.' Mr Schu began. 'We have a table booked for eight fifteen in the name of New Directions.'

'Of course,' The waiter smiled at them. 'If you'll follow me please.' He said, leading them through the restaurant and to the largest table. It was right in the middle of the floor, made up of about five other tables, and the place was packed. Not a single table was empty now that they were occupying the large on, and everyone was chatting and laughing as they ate their meals.

'This place looks really nice Mr Schu.' Quinn said as she sat down, Santana on her left and Mike on her right. Brittany and Artie were on Santana's side and then the rest of the glee clubbers filed in around the long, rectangle shaped table.

'It is nice.' He informed her, taking the seat opposite with Rachel on one side and Finn on the other. 'I forgot you guys weren't here with us the first time.'

'So, what's good Mr Schu?' Santana asked, flipping open the menu and placing it in front of herself and Quinn.

'Well, I liked the pizza I had the other day. Or,' He looked down the table. 'Sam, what did you have when we came here before?'

'It was this weird chicken and cheese thing with fires, it was okay.' He shrugged, going back to his own menu.

'Well, there we go then.' Santana laughed. 'What do you want babe?'

'I don't know really, you wanna split a pizza with me?' Quinn asked.

'Sounds good.' She smiled, 'You pick because I'll eat whatever.'

'As long as you eat something I don't care what it is.' Quinn whispered, planting a kiss on Santana's cheek as the smaller girl rolled her eyes.

'Yeah, yeah. Can we just order already.' Quinn laughed at her and then the waiter came over.

* * *

><p>They ate their meals happily, chatting and laughing all the while, and it was looking like the evening was a complete success. However they noticed a new couple come in, a man and a woman, and were sitting at the table behind Quinn and Mike, a little to the left. Mr Schu noticed them as well, always looking over and then whispering things to each other. He had a feeling he knew what it was about and he just wanted to make sure that they didn't disrupt their nice evening. 'Here we are.' The waitress came back over with their deserts, lots of the kids choosing the chocolate mountain shakes. Basically tall glasses filled with ice cream, chocolate chunks and milkshake. The waitress placed on down in between Santana and Quinn, who were sharing, and gave them two spoons.<p>

'Thank you.' Mr Schu said once they all had their deserts and had begun eating.

'San you have got to try this, it's amazing.' Quinn pleaded, Santana refusing to eat the chocolaty goodness in front of her.

'No, no way blondie I'm stuffed from that pizza.' She patted her stomach gently signalling she was full. 'But you chow on down.' She laughed. 'Never knew such a small person could hold that much ice cream but you go for it babe.' She joked, Quinn slapping her on the knee playfully. Mr Schu looked behind them, and sure enough the couple they had watched come in were whispering to each other.

'Come on, please just try one spoonful. You'll like it, I swear.' Quinn said, raising a spoon of ice cream out of the glass. 'Please.' She pouted.

'Oh damn you.' Santana groaned. 'Fine.' She sat forwards as Quinn placed the spoon in her mouth.

'Good yeah?' Quinn smiled at her.

'Mmm, yeah, wonderful.' Santana replied sarcastically.

'Oh hang on.' The blonde moved closer to her, lifting one finger up to her lips and wiping off some stray ice cream. Then she licked her finger and Mr Schu saw the couple behind them signalling for the waitress.

'Okay guys, is everyone ready to go?' He said kind of nervously.

'Why Mr Schu? It's not even late?' Finn pointed out, but then the waitress came over.

'Excuse me, Mr..'

'Schuester.' He filled in for her.

'Right, well I've received a complaint from one of the tables about some inappropriate behaviour from some of your group.' She stated.

'What? Who complained, we're not doing anything?' Puck said rather angrily.

'Can I please talk to you in private…' Mr Schu looked at her name tag. 'Molly.'

'Wait Mr Schu, what is this about?' Quinn asked, taking Santana's hand. Mr Schu looked down at their actions, now everyone understood. 'Oh, it's us.' She said sadly, letting go of Santana's hand.

'This is stupid, we're just having dinner. We haven't done anything that any couple wouldn't do.' Santana pointed out, Molly giving them a small smile.

'I know girls, some of our customers are quite pretentious, if you could please just amuse them I'd be really grateful.'

'Sure, whatever.' Santana said, sighing and leaning back in her chair. Quinn turned from the waitress to look at her and saw a shaking hand run through her hair. The brunette exhaled loudly as everyone on the table sat quietly, the waitress left and the evening wasn't quite as fun as it have been ten minutes ago.


	62. Chapter 62

**This Happened Last Year **

'Come on then guys, is everyone finished?' Mr Schu said about half an hour later.

'Yeah, lets get out of here already.' Santana said, looking back over her shoulder where the couple who complained about them were still sitting and watching them.

'I agree.' Quinn said, following her gaze. 'You'd think they'd have something better to talk about.' She joked.

'Yeah, I actually expected more from New Yorkers. Everyone we meet seems to have a problem.' Santana said as she got up. She pulled her cardigan over her shoulders as Quinn slipped on her jacket.

'Well, we only have two more days in this place and then we get to go home.' Quinn reminded her, watching her body language as they waited for everyone else. She had her arms wrapped around her body.

'Wow, because I'm looking forward to that Q.' She joked, her fist clenching by her side.

'San?' Quinn stepped in closer to her so that she could whisper. 'Are you okay?' Santana swallowed and shook her head.

'I'm a bit cold actually.' She admitted.

'It's baking in here San.' Quinn said, running her hand up and down her girlfriend arms.

'Yeah, that's kind of what I'm worried about.' Santana joked.

'Not funny, here..' Quinn began, taking off her jacket and draping it around the Latina's shoulder.

'Thanks Q.' Santana replied gratefully, Quinn placing two hands on her shoulders and kissing her forehead.

'Better?' She asked.

'Much.' Santana grinned, leaning in for another kiss but an unexpected coughing noise caught her by surprise. She turned around and was met with almost a look of pure evil. That's how it seemed anyway. The couple had been watching the entire interaction between the girls and were less than happy with the public display of affection. To Santana's surprise, Quinn was the first to speak.

'Is there a problem?' She said angrily, staring at the man and woman.

'A restaurant isn't really the place for that is it?' The man said, the girl he was with laughing under her breath. The rest of the glee club had now tuned in to what was going on, Mr Schu quickly rounding the table to manage the situation.

'She was cold, I gave her my jacket. Wouldn't you do that for your girl?' Quinn gestured to the woman, still laughing so she was royally pissing Quinn off.

'Sure, yeah I totally would. You wear the trousers in the relationship then I take it?' He snickered.

'Hey!' Santana stepped forwards, luckily Quinn was gripping onto her forearm to stop her.

'Woah, okay, maybe I was wrong.' He laughed again.

'Okay enough.' Mr Schu stepped between the couple sitting down and his glee kids. 'Let's go girls.' He started to usher them out of the building, making sure they were the first ones out.

* * *

><p>'What assholes.' Puck said as they were walking back to the hotel.<p>

'I know Puck.' Mr Schu turned back to the girls, Santana walking alongside Quinn with her head on the blonde's shoulder and one of her arms wrapped around her shoulders. 'You okay girls?'

'Yeah, we're fine Mr Schu.' Quinn assured him for both of them. She could feel Santana becoming heavier as they walked, the brunette either really sick or really tired. Either way though, Quinn knew she had to get Santana off of her feet.

'You know it'll be ten times worse back in Lima.' Kurt said, remembering what he went through when he first came out.

'We know Kurt, but we have you guys so I think we'll be okay.' She smiled, gripping onto Santana tighter and leaning into her face. 'Santana, you need to tell me what's wrong.' She whispered.

'I'm just..' She paused. 'I'm so tired.' She said, her eyes closing as she was speaking.

'Okay, we're almost back at the hotel. A few more minutes alright?' Quinn promised her, the smaller girl nodding and concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. They walked into the lobby at about midnight, everyone exhausted from their day but Quinn kept feeling Santana slip off of her shoulder. They said goodnight and all went their separate ways, the girls loading into one elevator and heading upstairs. They said goodnight to Tina, Mercedes and Lauren on the lower floor, continuing up to Rachel and Brittany's floor. But just as they were about to leave the elevator Quinn stopped them.

'Quinn, what is it?' Brittany asked as she and Rachel lingered inside the lift doors.

'Yeah, is she okay?' Rachel stepped up to Santana and brushed the hair from her eyes.

'I don't know, but she's getting heavier.' Quinn let out a small chuckle. 'Would you guys mind coming up to our room for a while?'

'Of course we can Quinn.' Brittany said, pulling Santana's free arm over her own shoulder and taking some of the pressure off of Quinn.

* * *

><p>'Come on San.' Quinn whispered, taking her jacket off of the Latina along with her shoes and cardigan before lying her on the bed. She wrapped the cover around her and kissed her on the forehead. Her eyes had been closed since they got in the lift so she was pretty sure Santana would be out within seconds. 'Goodnight babe.' Quinn whispered and began to turn away.<p>

'Thanks Q.' She heard Santana whisper. She smiled but didn't turn around, walking out to the balcony to where Rachel and Brittany were sitting.

'Hey.' Rachel saw her come out first. 'She okay?'

'Yeah, thanks. I think she's just really tired.' Quinn smiled at them reassuringly.

'This happened last year you know.' Brittany said, her hands gripping the metal railings of the balcony as she stared out towards the city.

'Really?' Quinn and Rachel went to stand beside her.

'Yeah. She just had no energy, like at all.'

'But why?' Rachel asked.

'A combination of everything I guess?' Brittany wondered. 'It all takes it's toll and she just cant do anything.'

'You know she thought about killing herself earlier.' Quinn said quietly.

'What!' Rachel and Brittany said in unison, probably slightly too loudly.

'Shhh!' Quinn waved them down, sitting on the balcony chairs. 'Yes, alright.' She whispered. 'But please don't tell anyone.'

'We wont Q, but maybe she should.' Rachel thought out loud.

'Yeah we talked about that, she said she would go to Miss P and i'm going to go with her.'

'That's a start I guess.' Rachel said, exhaling loudly.

'Did she say why she did it?' Brittany asked sadly.

'Yeah, she wanted to be in control of something for once.' Quinn set herself back in the chair. 'And I left my razor out on the side. If she had done it, it would have been my fault.' She wiped a tear form her cheek.

'What? No Quinn you cant think like that.' Rachel put a hand on her knee.

'But I left it there knowing about her past, knowing what she was capable of.' She sounded really angry at herself. They then heard the balcony door swing open. Santana was leaning in the doorframe with her head resting against it. Quinn could see she was crying. 'San.' She said, sitting up. 'How long have you been there?'

'Long enough.' The Latina sniffed, Quinn getting up to hug her. 'It wouldn't have been your fault Q, please don't say that.' She said crying harder. 'I'm sorry.' She whispered into Quinn's hair.

'I know, it's okay.' She assured her, stroking the back of her hair as she looked into her eyes. 'Lets go to bed okay.' She smiled, Santana nodding. Rachel and Brittany took this as their cue to leave, saying goodnight and quietly closing the door behind them.


	63. Chapter 63

**I Really Want You To Keep It**

Quinn woke up the next morning in the same positions he started the night, Santana curled into her side and one arm under the brunettes neck. She actually couldn't feel her arm any more, probably what made her wake up in the first place. She gently slithered her arm out from under Santana, careful not to wake the sleeping brunette, and then tiptoed around the room and into the bathroom. She sighed heavily as she splashed her face with cold water to wash the sleep from her eyes. Just today, that's all they had to make it through because tomorrow they would be on a plane home. Home. That would be interesting. She didn't really have a home any more. As soon as they landed Santana had promised to help get her things, going back to hers to get her car and then heading to the Fabray's. Quinn could only imagine what kind of ordeal it would be trying to get her stuff out of her room, if her dad would even let her take anything. Oh well, they would have to wait and see. She dried her hands on the towel hanging over the bath before exiting the bathroom, walking slowly back over to the bed and lying down in front of Santana. She was still asleep. Quinn was studying her face and was relieved to see that Santana appeared to be sleeping well. She watched as the smaller girl pulled the covers up to her neck, twisting them in her hands as she exhaled gently. Quinn smiled. She liked it when Santana was peaceful, hating seeing her girlfriend in so much pain. She began to stroke the dark hair across Santana's face, lifting it up and making it stick behind her ear. 'Q..' Santana whispered.

'Yeah babe, it's me.' She whispered back.

'You remember what I said? About watching me sleep?' Quinn saw a grin forming on Santana's face, the blonde rolling her eyes as Santana's dark ones opened.

'It's creepy, I know.' Quinn laughed. 'But you're so damn cute when you sleep.'

'Wow, that makes me feel really bad ass Q.' Santana joked, sitting up and leaning on her elbow with Quinn facing her.

'How do you feel?' Quinn asked, looking into her eyes.

'Still tired. But a little better.' Santana said truthfully, although Quinn could see that the shaking still hadn't stopped.

'Do you ever think about seeing a Doctor about the shaking? Maybe they can give you something to stop it?' Quinn suggested, something they could do when they got back to Lima.

'Well, I have the really strong pills. They can help some of the time when it gets really bad. But I don't know, I never thought there was anything I could do about it.' Santana looked down, playing with the sheets below her with her free hand.

'Well I think we should look into that when we get home.' Quinn said, planting a kiss on Santana's forehead and then bouncing back up off of the bed.

'What are you doing?' Santana asked, grinning at her.

'Well, if you're feeling better, I was thinking that we shouldn't waste our last day in New York city cooped up in a hotel room.'

'Yeah, I think you're right about that one.' Santana agreed, pushing herself up until she was sitting over the end of the bed. 'What did you have in mind?'

'I thought we could do the tourist thing, you know, wander around with a map and a disposable camera. Buying the shirt that says 'I 'heart' New York' and then maybe grab some lunch?' Quinn smiled at her as she rummaged through her suitcase, pulling out a white top and black skinny jeans.

'That sounds perfect.' Santana agreed, walking over to stand behind Quinn, wrapping her arms around her stomach and placing her head on Quinn's back.

'You okay?' Quinn asked, turning herself around to hug Santana properly.

'Yeah, I'm just sorry about everything.' Santana sighed. 'I know I really suck right now but I wont always okay.'

'Santana, you don't suck.' Quinn said, pulling her in tighter. 'You're having an off couple of weeks, that's all.' Santana grinned as she pulled away from the blonde.

'That's what we're calling it, an off couple of weeks?' She looked at Quinn who was also smiling.

'Yes, because that's what it is. Although I have to admit, I do like being depended on so much, makes me feel like someone needs me.' Santana stepped in closer once more and took both of Quinn's hands in her own.

'I will always need you, okay, even when all this shit is over, I will always need you.' Santana assured her, Quinn blushing slightly and looking down.

'That's really good San, because I love you.'

'I love you too Q, and there's actually something I wanted to give you.' She smiled, Quinn's eyebrows raisin in curiosity.

'Really?' She grinned, Santana rolling her eyes.

'Yeah, come over here will you.' Santana ushered her over to the bed, sitting her down on it whilst she rummaged through her bag. She pulled out her purse, opening it and revealing a long silver chain with a clear glass droplet hanging from the end. 'I got this from my grandmother, about seven years ago.' She thought back, jumping around to behind Quinn and draping it around her neck. 'She said that I should only wear it on really special occasions because it would bring me luck.'

'San…' Quinn whispered, bringing one hand gently up to touch the delicate piece of jewellery. 'I cant…'

'Yeah, you can Quinn. Because I want you to.' Santana sat back down beside her and took her hand.

'What about only wearing it on special occasions?' Quinn asked as Santana laughed.

'You are the special occasion Q.' Santana grinned. 'Everywhere you go is special, because you are there. And I really want you to keep it.'

'Thank you Santana, I love it.' Quinn beamed at her. Jumping up with a grin on her face and throwing her arms over her shoulders and practically rugby tackling her down on the bed.

'Q!' Santana shouted. 'Q you freak, what are you doing!' She giggled, the blonde lying on top of her and smiling down at her.

'I just, I cant believe how much I love you. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and this will all be a dream.'

'I know what you mean.' Santana agreed, sitting up on her elbows with Quinn over her waist. 'But it is real and it's forever.'

'Damn right it's forever.' Quinn grinned, leaning down to kiss her girlfriend. 'And I guess New York can wait a couple more hours.' Quinn saw Santana smile as she lent in to kiss her once more, Santana pulling her down until they were both lying side by side on the bed.


	64. Chapter 64

**I know this is a short chapter but i promise the next ones will be longer! **

* * *

><p><strong>We Must Have Been Out Cold<strong>

'Quinn!' Santana was shouting, calling her name. Quinn realised this as her eyes fluttered open. They must have fallen asleep. 'Quinn!' She screamed again, thrashing about on the bed as the blonde tried to focus.

'San… Santana?' Quinn tried to get closer, to calm her down, but she couldn't get near her in fear of getting a fist to the face.

'No! No Q…' She shouted. 'Run!' She was crying in her sleep. Quinn was watching the strain the nightmare was putting on her body, the veins in her neck occasionally sticking out and the muscles in her arms convulsing as she struck out at an assailant who wasn't there.

'Santana, I'm right here.' She said calmly, hoping her girlfriend would hear her. It didn't seem like she was listening though, rolling over away from Quinn as she struck out again. Her fist connected with a lamp on the bedside table and sending it crashing to the floor. This did have an effect, the loud noise snapping her out of the dream as her eyes shot open. She quickly surveyed her surroundings and scurried backwards until her back slammed into the headboard. Then she looked for Quinn. 'It's okay.' Quinn smiled at her, Santana's eyes focusing and realising that the blonde was there.

'Oh God, Q… he..' She mumbled, tears falling from her eyes and sweat soaking her clothes. She was still wearing the dress from last night, neither of the girls having bothered to change after the night they had.

'I know, it's okay San.' Quinn repeated, coming in closer now that Santana wasn't trying to attack anyone.

'But it's not Q, he…' She sobbed, more tears falling as Quinn gripped Santana's hands and pulled her into her side.

'Calm down Santana.' She said gently, stroking Santana's hair and holding on tightly to her as she felt the shaking start to subside. 'Tell me what happened.'

'He…' She began, swallowing some bile that had risen in her throat. 'One of them came to Lima, he found me and that meant he found you too..' Quinn felt her start to panic again so she lifted on of Santana's hands to her mouth and kissed it.

'Relax San, it's just you an me. I promise.' She whispered into Santana's ear, the brunette frantically nodding as she coughed. Quinn flinched at how painful it sounded, rubbing comforting circles on Santana's back until she finished. 'Do you need to go to the bathroom?'

'No, I'm okay.' She smiled weakly, lying back down and running her hands through her hair. 'They're getting worse Q.' She said, choking up slightly but managing to keep the tears at bay.

'Why is that?' Quinn asked, lying on her elbow as she hovered above the Latina.

'Because of you.' Santana said bluntly, Quinn slightly taken aback by this. 'No, Q don't look at me like that, I mean that now you're in my dreams.' She smiled. 'I cant get that damn face of yours out of my head and now..'

'I get it San.' Quinn smiled, liking the fact that Santana thought about her so much. 'And I think I'm flattered?' She said, smiling as Santana laughed back up at her.

'Yeah well, you shouldn't be really. Every time it turns into a nightmare they find me, and I…' She sighed.

'And what San?' Quinn Asked, wiping some of the tear marks from Santana's face.

'And I let them hurt you every time.' She whispered.

'Santana it's a dream. Okay. They're all just dreams.' Quinn reminded her.

'I know. It just sucks to feel that powerless, you know?' Santana rolled over onto her back to face her.

'I know.' Quinn smiled, reaching past Santana to grab her phone. 'Wow okay.' She said sitting up.

'What is it?' Santana asked following her lead.

'Well, I think Brittany has been trying to find you.' She laughed, giving Santana the phone.

'Nine missed calls and, fourteen texts! What time is it?' Santana asked, Quinn looking at the clock behind her.

'Holy Shit, it's four in the afternoon. We must have been out cold.'

'Yeah.' Santana agreed. 'And I better reply to B, she's probably going out of her mind.'

'That is a good idea.' Quinn laughed. 'I'm gonna jump in the shower. We still have to make our last night in New York special.'

'We do.' Santana agreed, sending a text to her best friend.

_Sorry B. Was Asleep. What's up? Xxx - S_

A few moments later there was a reply.

_OMG Santana! Finally. U and Q need to meet us in the hotel restaurant at 5pm. Mr Schu has a surprise! C U soon. Xxx - B_

Santana smiled as she read the text and closed her phone. 'Quinn.' She called before the blonde had a chance to turn the shower on.

'What is it?' She asked, sticking her head out of the bathroom door with nothing but a towel on.

'Why hello there.' Santana grinned, Quinn rolling her eyes.

'Santana, focus.' Quinn laughed.

'Right yeah, Brit texted back and said Mr Schu wants us all in the hotel restaurant at five.' Santana informed her, the blonde's face dropping slightly.

'Seriously?' Quinn sighed.

'Yeah, apparently he has a surprise for us or something?' Santana shrugged.

'Well okay, I'll be out soon.' She winked causing Santana to smile, and then the brunette heard the taps to the shower power on.


	65. Chapter 65

**Took You Long Enough**

'Alright!' Mr Schu said cheerfully as he stood at the top of a long rectangular table, glee kids scattered along each side. 'Now that everyone's here, we can get started. In honour of our last night in New York, and for our triumphant achievement in the competition, I wanted to say thank you and congratulations to you all properly.' He smiled. Two waiters walking out moments later carrying a massive cake in the shape of a four.

'A cake Mr Schu, that's the big surprise?' Finn asked as he watched them place it in the muddle of the table. It was covered in pink icing so they wouldn't tell what flavour it was, but it did look delicious. It was decorated with black musical notes, with 'congratulations' along the bottom in black as well.

'That isn't all Finn. I have convinced the hotel to let me buy you all one alcoholic beverage to celebrate.' He grinned, very impressed with himself. There were a few smiles and laughs around the table, one was better than none right.

'You know what would be an even better way to celebrate Mr Schu?' Puck asked. 'Convince them to leave the bar open for us all night.' He grinned, Mr Schu looking at him accusingly. He then turned back to the table without responding to the mohawked boy's comment.

'Okay, everyone put in your order and I'll go get the drinks.' About twenty minutes later the entire glee club was sitting around the long table enjoying their cake and alcohol. They were making it last seeing as they only got one drink each, Quinn slowly sipping her red wine whilst Santana stirred the ice in her vodka red bull.

'I still cannot believe you like red wine.' Santana said, watching as her girlfriend took another delicate sip.

'Yeah, well my mum would let me have a small glass on special occasions. It's silly really but it's my favourite.' Quinn grinned at the memory, knowing it was not one she was likely to repeat any time soon. 'Anyway, what's your idea of a good drink? Chugging down a beer or two?' Quinn smirked.

'What can I say Q, if it gets the job done, I'll drink it.' Santana laughed, standing up from her seat soon after.

'Where're you going?' Quinn asked.

'Restroom.' Santana stated. 'I'll be back soon.' She said, smiling down at Quinn before planting a kiss on her forehead and walking off. Shortly after this, a figure slipped into the seat beside Quinn, more gathering around her to listen in.

'So Quinn, how's everything between you two?' Rachel asked.

'It's fine Rachel,' She looked around suspiciously. 'Why?'

'We just wanted to see how you were doing, that's all.' Mercedes smiled gently. 'We know this trip hasn't been easy for either of you.'

'Well thanks, we're fine.' She smiled. 'Better than fine actually. I'm moving into Santana's house when we get home and she's agreed to go to some counselling sessions.'

'That's really great Quinn. I could never convince her to go. How did you do it?' Brittany asked, licking some icing off of her spoon.

'I have my ways Brit.' Quinn winked.

'Hot.' Puckerman interjected, many of the glee clubbers rolling their eyes. Everyone then went back to their own conversations, Quinn fiddling with the wine glass in her hand. She was brought back to reality when someone called her name.

'Quinn!' They shouted, she looked up to see Sam and a few other's staring at her.

'What?' She asked.

'You went somewhere.' He informed her. 'We were asking where Santana went, it's been like fifteen minutes since anyone saw her.'

'Really? It has?' She sat up straight, looking around the room to see if the Latina was anywhere in sight. Nothing. 'She went to the restroom, said she would be right back.'

'Well she isn't, and I think she took her drink with her.' Kurt pointed out. 'That girl is weird.'

'Yeah.' Quinn agreed, but she wasn't really listening. She got up and was out of the door to find her girlfriend. She walked to the restroom, looking in all of the stalls to find her but they were empty. She was starting to panic as she walked out, heading to the restaurant to see if they had just missed each other, but then she noticed something. A door was open to her right, 'Roof - Staff Only' was written in bold letters on it. Then she really did panic. What if she went up there to jump off? She was drinking, sure it was only one, but she could still be influenced. Couldn't she? She sprinted up the stairs, until a point, she had to slow down to catch her breath because there were lots of floors. The elevator's didn't go up that high. She reached the top and found that door was also open, pushing through it gently and peering around into the darkness. 'Santana?' She called, not wanting to sneak up on her if she was there. 'San?' She said again, turning the corner. And then she saw her, standing with her hands on the concrete wall surrounding the roof, her drink perched on the side next to her. Quinn took slow steps up to her, placing a hand on her shoulder as she stopped to the side of her.

'Took you long enough Q.' Santana grinned.

'What are you doing up here San? And how did you know I would find you?' Quinn smiled, linking their hands.

'Well I knew you would be so freaked out when I didn't come back that you would search everywhere.' Quinn knocked her playfully on the shoulder as the brunette carried on. 'And you said you wanted to make our last night special. Look.' She said, pointing out over the city. Quinn scanned the sky line, not noticing how beautiful it was until Santana showed her.

'Wow, this is amazing.' Quinn sighed, leaning on Santana's shoulder.

'Yeah, I figured we couldn't leave without seeing New York at the perfect time of day, or night.' She kissed Quinn's forehead again. 'It's so peaceful from up here.' She whispered.

'It is. Thank you for showing me this San.' Quinn placed an arm around Santana's waist and pulled her into a sideways hug.

'No problem Q, but I know you must have thought I came up here to jump off. So I'm sorry if I made you worry.'

'It's okay Santana. But next time how about just saying, you've got something to show me?' Quinn joked, moving her lips closer to Santana's and pressing them together.

'I'll keep that in mind.' The Latina grinned, kissing her once more before pulling away. 'Now take a mental picture because it's cold so we have to go back inside.'

'Okay then.' Quinn laughed, linking their hands once more. Santana grabbed her drink and then they walked back to the door, looking out over the sparkling city one more time, before the roof door closed behind them.


	66. Chapter 66

**Is It Because We're Going Home?**

'Come on guys!' They heard Mr Schu banging on their door. 'Santana! Quinn!' He shouted. The blonde finally awoke, her eyes darting around the room as she tried to focus. 'Girls!' She heard him call again and then looked over at the clock.

'Oh, shit!' She cried, throwing the covers off of herself. 'Santana, get up!' She threw a pillow onto the smaller girl, causing her to groan and try to swat it away. She sprinted to the door and opened it, met by the annoyed face of their teacher. 'Mr Schu, I'm so sorry.' She began.

'I know, just hurry up okay. We should have left ten minutes ago.' He reminded her.

'Yeah, we'll be right down.' Quinn assured him, closing the door and looking for some clothes. She found a pair of jeans and a black shirt, throwing them on and then doing up her converse. She looked over to Santana who still hadn't moved. 'Santana!' She shouted, pulling the covers off of her girlfriend in an attempt to make her get out of bed. 'San, babe we have to go.' She whispered into her ear, her eyes still not open.

'I'm up…. I'm…. up.' She grumbled, literally rolling onto the floor.

'Move your as okay, everyone is downstairs.' Quinn informed her, the brunette struggling to turn her jeans in the right way whilst Quinn zipped up their suitcases. She hauled them over to the door just as Santana came up behind her.

'Morning.' She grinned, the rushed blonde not very amused.

'San, this isn't funny, I thought you said you set the alarm?'

'Well I might have turned it off.' She admitted.

'Why, we're in so much shit now.' She laughed, grinning as Santana played with her hair.

'I just wanted to sleep longer, next to you.' Santana pressed a kiss onto Quinn's lips, but she pulled back.

'No, you're not fooling me with your charm and sweet lady kisses. I'm mad at you for making us late.' She turned for the door.

'Quinn.' Santana laughed, walking out behind her and taking her own suitcase.

'And besides,' the blonde added as they made their way to the lift. 'I'm living with you now so you can always sleep in my bed.' She winked at Santana who was smiling, shaking her head as they pressed down to the lobby.

* * *

><p>'It's about time.' Puck said as he saw the girls exit the lift. 'What were you two doing up there?'<p>

'Sleeping.' Quinn told them. 'Someone…' She turned to Santana. 'Turned our alarm off and we overslept.'

'Right, overslept.' Puck winked.

'Puckerman, shut it.' Santana punched his arm, their teacher walking over to them.

'Okay, we're all here and we're all checked out. The bus is out front so can you guys line up and get on one by one so that I can do a final head check.' Mr Schu then ushered them out to the bus, counting heads as they got on and then instructing the driver to take them to the air port.

'San, it's nearly ten in the morning, how are you sleeping right now?' Quinn whispered, the smaller girls head falling onto her shoulder about half way into the journey.

'Tired…' Santana mumbled, putting one arm over Quinn's stomach and holding on.

'Santana.' Quinn turned onto her side so that she was facing her girlfriend. Santana's eyes were closed but as Quinn's forehead pressed against hers, they opened. 'What's wrong?' She asked.

'Nothing.' Santana inhaled thorough her nose, Quinn watching as she tried to control the tears forming in her eyes.

'It doesn't look like nothing to me.' Quinn smiled. 'Do you want to talk about it?' She asked, Santana shaking her head.

'On the plane, okay? I just, need to close my eyes for a bit.' She smiled back at Quinn and held onto her tighter, gripping her shirt in her left hand.

'Sure, whatever you want.' Quinn kissed her on the forehead and then let her sleep.

* * *

><p>The ride to the airport was relatively quick, and even though the girls were late they still made it there well earlier than they needed to be. They had a one o'clock flight and arrived with an hour to spare. Deciding just to wait in the lounge reading magazines and listening to music. Santana was so relieved when they were called to board because she couldn't sit through another minute of Berry shuffling her ipod and having nothing but Barbra Streisand come on. How she got stuck with Rachel she didn't know, but Quinn finally found her and pulled her up upon the sound of their flight being called, hauling her over to the boarding queue. 'Thank God, Berry was driving me nuts.' Santana told Quinn, leaning into her side as the blonde laughed at her. 'It's not funny Q, you abandoned me.'<p>

'True, but it was payback for the alarm. And besides, I was getting us snacks.' She pointed to the bag she was carrying, filled with sweets for the journey and a few new magazines to read.

'Okay then, I forgive you.' Santana grinned.

'Of course you do.' Quinn laughed, both girls smiling as they boarded the plane. They were all spread out across the plane, Mr Schu and most of the boys at the front, whilst Quinn, Santana, Brittany and Artie were in the middle section, and the rest of the girls at the back. Brittany and Artie were directly in front of the two girls, Artie having a special place to fit his wheelchair.

'This is going to be fun, I cant wait for my ears to pop.' Brittany said excitedly as she turned around to talk to Santana and Quinn.

'Seriously, you like that feeling?' Quinn asked, Brittany nodding as she grinned.

'Jesus Brit, it makes me feel like my head is about to explode.' Santana looked at her accusingly.

'I know, cool right?' Brittany flopped back down into her seat, Artie taking her hand as they began a conversation.

'That girl…' Quinn shook her head.

'Tell me about it.' Santana grinned. Then the captain did his little speech and told them to put their belts on, the plane going up and up until they were at the right height. It was about half an hour into the flight when Quinn remembered that Santana had promised to talk to her.

'San?' Quinn asked, looking over to her as she was reading a magazine.

'Hmm?' She replied without looking up.

'You said you would talk to me.' Quinn reminded her.

'I did?' Santana tried to play innocent, focusing on the article she was reading until Quinn closed the magazine on her.

'Yeah, you did. Now spill. What's up?' Quinn lifted Santana's face up to her eye level, the tears were back.

'I'm sorry.' She said quietly, a single tear falling down her cheek. 'I don't know why I'm crying.' She smiled.

'Don't apologise. Is it because we're going home?' She asked, the brunette nodding.

'I'm…. I'm scared.' She admitted, Quinn's hand cupping her cheek as she wiped away another tear.

'What are you scared of?' Quinn asked, studying the Latina's face.

'Everything.' She sighed, taking Quinn's hand in her own and holding it in her lap.

'San…'

'I'm serious Q.' Santana looked up once more. 'I'm scared of what will happen when we go to get your stuff. I'm scared of what my mum and dad will do when I tell them about us and about you moving in. I'm scared of going back to school and having to…' She sobbed.

'Shhh, hey I know. Okay. I'm scared too.' Quinn told her.

'Then why aren't you a complete mess, like me?' Santana joked, Quinn kissing her softly on the lips.

'Someone has to keep their head don't they?' She smiled, Santana laughing with her.

'True.' She agreed. 'I just don't want you to realise you've made a mistake. I don't want you to leave me Q because right now, you are the only thing keeping me from completely falling apart.'

'Santana, I. Love. You. Alright? This isn't like any other relationship I've ever had. It is not a mistake and I will never leave you.' Quinn assured her, finally realising just how damaged Santana was. She was so scared of people hurting her and leaving her that she couldn't believe something this amazing was real.

'But what about in a few months time, or a year? When you've had time to think. We wont be in New York, we'll be in Lima. Homophobes littering the streets. Maybe then you'll need your dad and you'll agree with him that this is, wrong or whatever, and what if you finally realise that I'm more trouble than I'm worth?' Santana cried, Brittany stirring from her sleep in front of them.

'Honey.' Quinn smiled. 'You need to stop.' She whispered, Santana still crying as she lent her head back. 'Stop thinking too hard about this because you'll drive yourself crazy.'

'But Quinn I'm so, I'm so messed up…' She sobbed, leaning her head on Quinn's shoulder as she flashed back to the first time Santana told her about the attack. 'I cant believe that you wont leave me, because then if you do, I wont survive, I wont be able to take it.'

'It's okay.' She whispered. 'I wont leave.' She assured her, stroking the back of Santana's hair and rocking her to sleep. Brittany peeked over the seats and looked at the two girls, mouthing to Quinn if Santana was okay. Quinn nodded, not releasing the Latina as she gently helped her drift off.


	67. Chapter 67

**Hey guys, sorry this chapter is so short, i've been realy uninspired lately. **

**But things will be picking up when they get back to Lima.**

**xoxoxox**

* * *

><p><strong>It Was Just A Dream<strong>

'Santana, San wake up!' She felt Quinn shaking her shoulders, her eyes scrunching up in confusion as they refused to open. 'Santana!' Quinn whispered, but it had volume, as if she was trying so hard to get through to the Latina but not wanting to attract any more attention.

'Quinn, what's going on?' Brittany asked, peering her head over the seats once more and Artie turning around with her.

'Yeah, is she okay?' He motioned to Santana, the girls eyes still not open.

'She will be.' Quinn smiled at them weakly, shaking Santana once more. 'San, babe please wake up.' Quinn placed a hand on her cheek, gently stroking it in an attempt to calm her girlfriend.

'Q..' She mumbled, turning her head to the side and slowly opening her eyes.

'Hey there.' Quinn smiled sweetly.

'What's going on?' Santana asked, swallowing as she felt how dry her mouth was.

'You were having a nightmare.' Quinn informed her. 'You kept saying that someone was going to hurt me.' Quinn put her hand in Santana's, letting them both rest in between their seats.

'I couldn't make him stop…' Santana whispered, a tear dropping down her cheek as she looked to the floor. Quinn saw the defected look on her face, placing one hand on Santana's cheek and lifting her head again.

'Look, I'm okay.' She smiled. 'I'm right here. It was just a dream.'

'I know.' Santana sniffed, smiling to reassure Quinn that she was okay. Her throat felt constricted as she swallowed, Quinn noticing her eyes screw up in discomfort.

'You okay?' Quinn squeezed her shoulder.

'My throat is really dry.' Santana said, trying to smile as Quinn reached above them and pressed the attendant button. 'What are you doing?'

'Getting you some water.' Quinn informed her, the flight attendant walking over to them and leaning in over the seats.

'Everything okay girls?' She asked.

'Yeah, could we get a bottle of water please?' Quinn asked, Santana looking forwards as the woman studied her face.

'Sure.' She smiled at them before walking away.

'Thanks Q.' Santana looked back over to her, Brittany and Artie turning around once more.

'You okay San?' Brittany asked, concern filling her eyes as she watched her friend.

'I'm fine Brit, just a bad dream.' She smiled up at the blonde who returned the favour, she and Artie then turning around again for the remainder of the flight. Then Santana turned back to her girlfriend. 'How long until we land?'

'About forty minutes, I think.' Quinn informed her, the flight attendant handing the blonde a bottle of water. 'Thanks.' Quinn said, Santana's eyes still on the blonde as the attendant walked away. 'Here, drink this and you'll feel better.' Quinn smiled, unscrewing the top and handing it to the Latina.

'Thanks.' Santana said gratefully after she swallowed a mouthful of water, feeling it cool her rough throat.

'So, do you want to tell me about the dream?' Quinn asked, brushing the hair out of Santana's eyes as they faced each other.

'Na, don't worry about it Q, it was stupid.' Santana tried to smile it off, but her girlfriend wasn't having any of it.

'It's not stupid Santana. It's hurting you and I want to be able to help.' She sighed. 'I cant do that properly if you wont talk to me.'

'I just…. I don't want you to have my thoughts in your head.' Santana admitted. 'They're all dark and painful and I don't want you to have to think about them.'

'Santana, look at my dad.' She laughed. 'He is not a pleasant man. He hit me over something I cant change, over something that is the best part of my life. I think I can take some of your darkness for a little while.' Santana smiled.

'Thanks Q.' She whispered, the blonde pulling her into a kiss.

'You're welcome.' Quinn said as she pulled back. 'Now what was your dream about?'

'Well, it was basically exactly how it really happened.' Santana looked up into Quinn's green orbs. 'But you were with me.' Santana took Quinn's hand and looked away from her. 'They hurt you and all I could do was watch.'

'It'll be okay San.' Quinn assured her. 'We'll get home and make an appointment with Miss P. You know she isn't going to tell anyone you don't want to know.'

'Yeah, I know.' Santana smiled, exhaling loudly and shaking her head. 'Anyway, lets not talk about it any more. I just cant wait to be at my house with you and all your stuff. Then everything will be okay.'

'I agree.' Quinn grinned. 'Speaking of when we get home, how exactly are we getting back? I mean, the bus will drop us at the school but what then?'

'I was planning on walking, my mum and dad aren't gonna be home.' Santana informed her.

'I guess we could do that.' Quinn said. 'Go to yours, get your car maybe?'

'You want to just get it over with then? Go and get your things right away?' Santana asked, looking up as the fasten seatbelt light started to flash.

'Definitely.' Quinn smiled. 'I need to be out of that house. Unless you don't want to, we can wait a couple days.' Quinn added, not wanting to put any added pressure on the Latina.

'No I want to do this too.' She smiled. 'So it's a plan. In and out.'

'In and out.' Quinn concurred, the captain coming over the loud speaker and informing them that they would be landing in a few moments.


	68. Chapter 68

**Can We Do This While I'm Still In One Piece**

They arrived back at the McKinley High parking lot at about five that evening. After going through the airport and finding the coach, everyone was thoroughly exhausted. Quinn and Santana hadn't said any more about what they would be doing that evening, only chatting and gossiping with the other glee members. However, when they got off of the bus and separated from their group, the conversation picked up again. 'Are you sure you want to do this today?' Quinn asked, dragging her suitcase behind her.

'Yes.' Santana said bluntly. 'I'm sure.'

'But I mean, we can always…'

'Quinn!' Santana yelled, almost laughing as she did so, stopping in her tracks. 'I'm positive, okay?' She smiled. 'If we don't do it know we'll only keep putting it off.'

'I guess you're right.' Quinn admitted, letting out a long sigh. 'But what if my dad's there?'

'So what?' Santana shrugged.

'So what if he's still angry? What if he tries…'

'Q, babe.' Santana dropped the handle to her bag and placed two hands on Quinn's cheeks, cupping them so that the taller girl was looking right at her. 'If he tries anything we will go straight to the police.' Santana smiled. 'I'm not going to let him hurt you again so you need to relax.'

'Okay, yeah I do. I do need to relax.' Quinn laughed, letting out a breath as Santana drooped her hands and reclaimed her bag from the sidewalk. 'It sucks that we have to go straight back to school tomorrow.' Quinn changed the subject.

'Totally, but what can we do? Monday is a school day.' Santana reminded her.

'I know, I just want everything to stay the same as it has been, just the two of us.' Quinn admitted, really not wanting school or parents to come between her and her girlfriend.

'It wont change Q. As long as we stick together and don't get distracted by everyone else's shit, I promise you we will be fine.' Santana grinned.

'Yeah we will.' Quinn smiled back at her. 'And we have the glee club and Mr Schu on our side.'

'Exactly. And I think if anyone messes with us Puck will kick their asses. And Sam too, I know you guys had a thing but he still cares for you.' Santana said, Quinn looking towards the floor.

'Yeah, he is a good guy.' Quinn smiled, but then Santana stopped again. 'San?' Quinn said, looking around to her girlfriend. 'What is it?'

'Erm, I think we have another problem.' Santana swallowed, her eyes staring forwards.

'What, that's your car isn't it?' Quinn asked looking at the driveway.

'No.. no that's my parents car.'

'Okay, but I thought you said they knew about you, that they were okay with it?'

'I said indifferent. That does not mean okay that means as long as it doesn't affect them. I think if I tell them I'm bringing a girl home to live with us they might have something to say.' She tried to laugh, Quinn coming up beside her.

'San, why did you agree to letting me move in if you knew they could react badly? I mean you've been lying to me every time I asked about your parents.' Quinn said, Santana hearing the hurt in her voice.

'No, Q come on. I wasn't lying I just, I thought they would be out of town today, and for a little while longer. And I don't know how they will react. Honestly I don't, but there is the chance they might not exactly approve.'

'So what were you planning on doing when they showed up and I was living with you?' Quinn asked.

'Wing it?' Santana tried to look innocent.

'Damn it Santana.' Quinn ran her hands through her hair. 'What are we going to do if they react like my dad did?'

'We'll work it out.' Santana took Quinn's hand, the blonde turning back to face her. 'I'm sorry.' She whispered, Quinn sighing as she pulled Santana into her chest.

'I know. But come on. If we're going to get everything done today we need to go in there.'

'Yeah.' Santana exhaled, picking up her bag and then leading the way up to her house.

* * *

><p>She pulled her key out of the front door as she pushed it open. She could hear the television playing and knew her mother and father were in there, or her dad at least. She ushered Quinn inside and both girls dropped their bags by the door. Nothing like being prepared in case they needed to make a break for it. 'It'll be okay.' Quinn whispered into Santana's ear. 'I love you.' She kissed the back of her neck, running her hand up and down Santana's arm gently. But as they rounded the corner into Santana's living room she let go and backed off. Santana took a deep breath.<p>

'Hey dad.' She smiled, Mr Lopez turning in his seat when he heard the voice of his only child.

'Hey baby.' Mr Lopez smiled, getting out of his chair and picking her up into a hug. 'How did the competition go?' He looked at her with worried eyes, he knew what time of the year it was too.

'It was fine, we got into the top ten and then finished fourth.' She smiled.

'That's my girl.' He grinned. 'I promise your mother and I will come next time.'

'Yeah, I'd like that dad.' Santana felt Quinn nudge her in the back and then cleared her throat. 'Dad, where's mum? I need to talk to you guys?'

'She's in the kitchen. Is everything okay?' He asked with worried eyes.

'Maybe, we just really need to talk to you.' Santana smiled.

'Yes, Quinn, isn't it? I know your father.' He looked at the blonde behind his daughter.

'Yeah, Mr Lopez it's nice to see you.' Quinn replied politely.

'Alright, well take a seat, I'll grab your mum.'

'Thanks dad.' Santana sighed, sitting down with Quinn and waiting for her parents.

'See, it'll be fine.' Quinn whispered, Santana putting on a nervous smile. And then her parents returned.

'Santana!' Mr's Lopez came over to embrace her daughter. 'Your father was telling me about your competition, and we're very proud.'

'Thanks mum.' She smiled. Mr and Mrs Lopez sitting on the opposite couch.

'So, your father also mentioned that you wanted to tell us something?'

'Yeah.' Santana looked at Quinn who nodded, Santana really needing the confidence Qu8inn carried with her in this moment. 'So you know about me, that I'm gay.' Santana started, Quinn only noticing slight changes in her parents body language. Mrs Lopez tensing up more than her husband. 'Well, Quinn and I are dating. We're a couple.' Santana said, taking the blonde's hand in her own and smiling.

'Uh-huh.' Mr Lopez said. 'And are you happy together?'

'We are dad, really happy.' Santana informed them, Quinn watching a slight smile break out across the mans face.

'There's more isn't there?' Mrs Lopez said, her face stern and unreadable.

'Quinn's dad hit her, when he found out, so she cant go home. We were hoping that you guys would be okay with her staying with us for a while?' Santana asked, her voice getting quieter by the second.

'Santana…' Mrs Lopez began but was quickly cut off by her husband.

'That's fine Santana. We'd be happy to help.' He smiled, but it wasn't that comforting to Quinn. She could see that neither parent was being really receptive to the idea.

'Javier.' Mrs Lopez turned to her husband. 'I thought we talked about this?'

'We did Maria, but the girls need our help. If there's one thing I cant stand is a man hitting his own child, so we are helping.'

'But Javier….' Mrs Lopez protested.

'No, we're not discussing this. Santana..' The brunette looked up. 'After all of this cools down, your mother and I would like to talk with you about, about everything. But right now Quinn can stay here.'

'Thanks dad.' Santana said quietly, Mr Lopez smiling timidly before he walked out of the room. 'Mum…' Santana looked to her mother.

'I thought you would have grown up by now Santana. After everything that's happened to this family. But I can see that you haven't changed at all.' Mrs Lopez stood from her chair and walked quickly from the room.

'Mum….' Santana whispered, a tear falling down her cheek. She didn't even realise she had started crying. But her mother was gone, leaving the two girls alone in silence. A few moments later Santana managed to compose herself, wiping away the tear and looking to Quinn, who was still gripping her hand firmly. 'Right so, next set of crazy parents.' She joked, getting up from the couch and walking to the door.

'Santana, hold up.' Quinn hurried after her, spinning her around. 'Are you okay, I mean do you want to…'

'I'm fine Q. Can we just do this whilst I'm still in one piece?' She smiled. Quinn knew better than to push it. She didn't want to pressure Santana into a panic attack.

'Sure, come on.' Quinn smiled worriedly, following Santana out of the door and into her car. She was not looking forward to what awaited them at her house.


	69. Chapter 69

**That's Not What She Meant Q**

Santana pulled the car to a stop outside Quinn's house. The light yellow panelling and white wooden fence feeling so familiar to the blonde, yet she knew it would never be the same home as it was. She sighed as she looked out of the window, everything so calm and peaceful. But as soon as she stepped foot into the hallway all hell was going to reign down on her and Santana. She looked over to Santana who had her eyes forward, hands still glued to the steering wheel. 'Santana?' Quinn spoke softly, putting a hand on her girlfriends shoulder. 'You okay San?'

'Fine.' Santana stated, still looking forwards.

'Your knuckles are going white.' Quinn pointed out, the Latina looking down as if she didn't realise, quickly letting go and resting her hands on her lap.

'Sorry.' She whispered, fidgeting once more and rubbing her eyes. She looked in the other direction so that Quinn couldn't see her eyes. The fear and the hurt that lay behind them was too much, and Quinn didn't need to see it. Not yet.

'Don't be sorry. Talk to me.' Quinn smiled even though Santana wasn't looking at her, rubbing her hand comfortingly down her girlfriends arm as she continued. 'Is it because of what your mum said?'

'Yeah.' Santana said quietly.

'You cant listen to her San. She should be supporting you after everything that happened. This is a good thing and she will realise it eventually.' Quinn said, but then she saw Santana shaking her head. 'What is it honey?'

'That's not what she was talking about.' Santana informed her. She turned around to face Quinn, tears now flowing down her face.

'What do you mean? She has to be talking about, about what happened to you… right?' Quinn was worried now. What could possibly be worse than that?

'She kind of is, but there's something else too.' Santana looked down, playing with the sleeve of Quinn's cardigan as she took her hand in her own.

'What? San you can tell me.' Quinn lifted Santana's face up to her own, planting a gentle kiss on her lips.

'I know, and I want to. I will.' Santana corrected. 'It's just hard.' She tried to smile.

'It's okay, just take your time.' Quinn reassured her, holding her hands as she listened to the brunette sigh.

'So, it was before we moved to Lima. We were living somewhere outside of Los Angeles in a really small town. Come to think of it, it was a lot like Lima.' Quinn smiled, listening to Santana tell the story. 'But anyways, no one knows about this, not even Brittany.' Quinn looked up into her eyes. 'I had, I had a big brother.' Santana's voice was more of a whisper now, Quinn's expression changing into a more serious position. 'His name was Marcus.'

'What do you mean had?' She asked, feeling Santana's hand tense up around her own.

'The reason we moved, was because my brother died. He was fifteen years old.' She said softly. 'We moved so that my parents could escape the memories and the stares of everyone in that damn place.' She laughed. 'But do you know what the funny thing was?'

'What?' Quinn asked, not sure where this was going.

'He was gay too.' Santana looked back at Quinn, the blonde looking shocked.

'And your parents knew?' Quinn asked.

'Yeah. He came out right before, right before we lost him.' Santana wiped a tear from her face. 'It's been almost eight years now, you'd think I'd be able to talk about him without falling apart.' She laughed.

'San, I'm so sorry.' Santana nodded. 'Can I ask, how he died?'

'Yeah, he had leukaemia. It was an inoperable tumour, in his brain. My parents didn't tell me that much, I was five, when he was first diagnosed. When I got older they rarely talked about it but from what I knew, the doctors only gave him a few months to live. But we got four years out of him.' Santana sniffed.

'So you must have been what, nine when he died?' Quinn worked out, Santana nodding.

'Yeah, my parents hated the fact that he was gay. His punishment was the cancer and now apparently mine was getting attacked in an alley.' She ran her hands through her hair. 'Only he died and I didn't.'

'Santana….' Quinn wiped away a tear from her own cheek, picking up both of Santana's hands and kissing them.

'So that's why my mum is such a bitch. She hates that both of her children turned out gay. She hates that so much bad crap has happened to this family and she thinks it's because God is punishing us.'

'But honey, that's…..'

'Bullshit. I know it is, but she believes it.' Santana sighed, sitting back in her chair. 'They took down all his pictures, completely cut him out of their memories. Their son fucking dies and just because he's gay they deny that he ever existed.' Santana saw the look on Quinn's face. 'And you thought I couldn't get more fucked up.' She laughed.

'Santana, I'm so, so sorry.' Quinn whispered, not sure what else she could say. I mean, what one person deserved to go through that? Losing her brother, being assaulted the way she was and then to have her parents blame it on something she couldn't do anything about? It was messed up and Quinn needed to do something about it.

'It's okay Q.' Santana shrugged, wiping all of the remaining tears from her face and then smiling. 'I used to think it too.'

'Why would you think that?' Quinn asked, kind of shocked at what Santana was saying.

'Well I was brought up by them. And in their house, it was their way. No options. I had no choice but to believe it. To believe that everything happened for a reason, that there was a reason my brother was meant to die when he did. And if it wasn't a punishment for being gay, then I didn't know what else to think.' Santana shook her head. 'In know how awful that sounds.' She admitted, rubbing her temple and scrunching her eyes closed as Quinn listened on. 'I know I was an awful person for thinking it, and then it was my turn.'

'Santana.' Quinn pulled the girls hands away from her face making her eyes open once more. 'You did not get attacked because you are gay. Do you understand me? It was two creeps who wanted to hurt somebody and you just happened to be there.' Quinn looked deep into her eyes, knowing that Santana was about to cry again. 'Like you said before, there was no reason for what happened to you. No reason whatsoever.'

'I know.' Santana's voice croaked, clearing her throat before continuing. 'I know that now.'

'And Marcus..' Quinn stopped, seeing the Latina visibly tense at hearing someone say his name.

'Was just dealt a fucking bad hand.' Santana looked away, one final tear making it's way to her jaw line.

'Exactly.' Quinn whispered.

'Shit.' Santana said after a few moments of silence. 'We need to do this now Q, I cant talk anymore I need to do something useful.' Santana started to move for her door when Quinn grabbed her arm. 'What?'

'Are you positive this is a good idea?' Quinn asked, second thoughts swirling through her mind.

'Yeah, why wouldn't it be? It's not like I can disappoint them any more than I already have so…' She shrugged.

'But with your mum…' Quinn was stopped by the Latina.

'She's a crazy bitch, we just need to keep out of her way.' Santana smiled. 'Everything will be fine Quinn.'

'Yeah.' Quinn nodded. 'So I guess we shouldn't make out whilst she's around?' Quinn said sarcastically.

'Bingo, I think she's got it.' Santana grinned. 'Now get your but out of my car before we chicken out.' Santana said, pushing her door open and stepping out onto the road. Quinn did the same. Both girls now leaning against Santana's vehicle, Quinn looking over to her once more before letting out a breath.

'In we go?' Santana asked.

'In we go.' Quinn confirmed. And with that they set off towards the front door.


	70. Chapter 70

**That Girl Has Saved My Life More Than Once**

Quinn pushed open the door to her house, taking out the key and putting it back in the pocket of her jeans as she walked in with Santana at her back. The house was quiet. Unlike at Santana's they couldn't hear the television, and there was no noise to indicate that anyone was even home. However, Mr Fabray's care sat quietly in the driveway so Quinn knew they wouldn't be far. Santana closed the door behind them as she stood behind the blonde. Quinn was staring forwards, listening for anything to tell her where her parents would be. 'Maybe they're not home?' Santana suggested, holding onto the back of Quinn's top.

'No, they're here.' Quinn whispered. 'I know they are.'

'Well can we hurry up then?' Santana nudged her girlfriend towards the stairs. She wanted to get in and out, for both of their sakes.

'Yeah, come on.' Quinn shot Santana a smile, taking her hand and heading for the first step. But then she was stopped in her tracks.

'Lucy.' She heard him growl beside her. His cold voice had frozen her like a statue and her head refused to turn to look at him. 'What do you think you're doing?' He asked, eyes narrowing as Santana watched him carefully.

'Dad..' Quinn whispered, finally moving her body around. She had made it to the first step. Santana still at the bottom beside her as Mr Fabray moved closer. He stopped a few feet away and both girls could smell the alcohol on his breath. Quinn swallowed loudly, Santana squeezing her hand to assure her it would be okay. 'Where's, where's mum?' She asked timidly.

'At her sisters.' Mr Fabray stated bluntly. A million comebacks rattled through Santana's mind but she thought it best not to aggravate him further, so she held her tongue. 'She said she needed time. To think.' He spat, Santana wincing slightly at the hatred in his voice. 'I'll ask you again Lucy, what are you doing?'

'She's packing a bag and leaving.' Santana informed him, the man glaring over at her with his dark expression.

'And I'm just going to allow that am I?' He said sarcastically, folding his arms in front of his chest which made his bulky frame look even more intimidating.

'Yeah, you are.' Santana shot him her best bitch look but it didn't seem to phase him. He laughed.

'Right, okay.' He took another step closer. 'Why don't you go home, little girl, so that I can talk to my daughter?'

'No way in hell is that happening.' Santana assured him, holding her ground and lifting her chin. Not that it would do much good with Mr Fabray, the man was scary as hell. The evil smirk on his face faded into a thin, unhappy line. Santana sensing that this conversation was going to end badly so she had to move things along. 'Q.' Santana looked up at the girl, Quinn only taking moments to respond and look down at her girlfriend. 'Go upstairs and get your stuff, okay?'

'San, I cant, what about…' Quinn protested, Santana watching the fear in her eyes turn to misty tears.

'Go.' Santana interrupted. 'Get your stuff and we'll be out of here in no time.' Santana smiled, Quinn reluctantly nodding as the blonde let go of her hand. Santana didn't watch Quinn walk up the stairs, instead turning back to meet the hard stare of Russell Fabray.

'Who the hell do you think you are?' He snarled, hands falling to his sides.

'I'm the person your daughter is in love with.' She smiled at the disgusted look that flashed across his face. 'And I'm not going to sit by and watch you ruin her life.'

'You really think you're what's good for her? You think you can provide a good life for her?' He asked, Santana holding on to the banister with her right hand and feeling it clench tighter in anger.

'I know I can.' Santana said proudly.

'Really.' He smirked. 'And what exactly would you do?'

'I would die for her, without hesitation, because I know how much she's worth.' Santana shook her head. 'Unlike you. Who thinks it's okay to hit her when you don't approve of something she does.'

'I'm trying to teach her right from wrong.' Mr Fabray clarified.

'Oh well as long as you beat her for a good reason.' Santana said sarcastically. 'All you are is a pathetic man who has to assert his authority by physical means.'

'You know what, I am. And I don't see what's wrong with that if it is in the best interests of my family.' He stepped in closer to her, Santana mimicking his movement and pressing her back to the wall, fear building up inside of her along with the need to protect the girl she loved.

'Are, are you kidding me?' Santana almost burst out laughing. 'It's not in their best interests, it's in yours. Look around you Russell, your wife has left and your daughter is leaving. How has anything you've done benefited them?' She stepped forwards pointing at him as the anger in her voice rose.

'You better watch what you say to me girl.' He snarled at her, looking her over as he thought of what she had said.

'Why? What are you going to do?' She let her hands fall to her sides.

'I'm…' He paused and Santana nodded.

'Exactly what I thought. You do one more thing to hurt her and I will call the cops. Do You understand me?' She clenched her fists by her sides, taking in a deep breath and then releasing it, hoping that Mr Fabray wouldn't be able to see her faltering.

'You better watch your back Santana. You cant keep her away from me forever. She'll come running home to me when she realises what a bad choice she made.' Russell assured her.

'Yeah, we'll see about that. Over the past two weeks, that girl has saved my life more than once. So I'll be damned if I ever let her come back here.' Santana shouted just as Quinn was hurrying back down the stairs with bag in hand.

'San..' She stepped in behind the Latina, gripping onto her arm but looking at her father.

'You ready?' Santana asked, she too still focused on the man in front of them.

'Yeah, let's get out of here.' Quinn said, stepping past Santana to open the door.

'I'll see you soon Lucy.' Mr Fabray called as they went through the door, Santana resisting the urge to tell him to go to hell as she slammed it behind her. She then felt Quinn grab her hand and practically drag her back to the car. They got in, Santana in the drivers seat and Quinn next to her, closed the doors and locked it behind them. Quinn knew just by looking at her girlfriend that they wouldn't be going anywhere any time soon.

'Did you get everything you need?' Santana asked, looking over at Quinn who looked even more terrified than she felt.

'Yeah, I think so.' Quinn nodded, placing a hand on Santana's arm as she watched her shaking. 'Are you okay?'

'Fine. He's a pussycat really.' She joked.

'Santana come on, what did he say to you?' Quinn rubbed her arm as if to warm her up, but she wasn't cold, so it was simply a comforting movement.

'He said that everything he did was in your best interests, that I will never be able to make you happy or give you a decent life and that one day you would realise that this was a mistake and go home to him.'

'And?' Quinn pressed on as she noticed her girlfriends fearful expression.

'He said I better watch my back.' Santana said quietly.

'He what? San he threatened you?' Quinn wanted clarification as her panic grew.

'I don't think he meant it, he just doesn't like me.' Santana tried to reason with her.

'That's the understatement of the year.' Quinn looked at her and knew she was hiding tears. 'Come here.' Quinn said softly, pulling Santana in for a hug. They held each other for a moment before Quinn started speaking again. 'Thank you San, that was really brave of you.' She kissed her neck and was running her hand through dark hair. But she still felt the smaller girl shake in her arms. 'Are you okay to drive?'

'No,' Santana shook her head. 'Erm, can you…'

'Or course I can honey.' Quinn smiled, getting out of the car and walking around to the other side whilst Santana slid over across the seats. As Quinn closed the door she took a quick glance up to her house. Her father was watching them from the window, the same horrible scowl printed on his face as she got in the other side. He looked over at Santana who had curled herself up next to the car door, hugging her knees to her chest as Quinn started the car. Santana shot her a grateful smile and that was enough for Quinn. She set off back towards Santana's house, her new home, and hoped that their luck would turn around.


	71. Chapter 71

**We Almost Pulled Her Out Of Nationals**

Quinn pulled the car up onto Santana's drive, turning off the ignition so that they were sitting in silence. Quinn saw that Santana was still staring out of the window, not acknowledging the fact that they were home. 'San.' Quinn placed a hand on her girlfriends knee, making the brunette flinch slightly when she turned to Quinn. 'Sorry.' The blonde said immediately.

'It's okay.' Santana breathed, smiling at her girlfriend.

'We're home.' Quinn informed her.

'I know, can I just sit here for a while?' Santana asked, still a bit rattled from the confrontation with Mr Fabray.

'Sure.' Quinn replied, taking off both of their seatbelts so that they could sit comfortably. Santana looked at her suspiciously a few minutes later.

'You know you can go inside right?' She reminded the blonde.

'I know.' Quinn nodded but continued to look forwards.

'Quinn?' Santana sat up straight and stared at her girlfriend.

'I don't want to go in there alone okay.' She admitted. 'Not without you.' Santana nodded.

'Okay, come on then.' She said, reaching for her door handle.

'Are you sure? I mean are you okay?'

'Yeah I'm fine Q.' She looked at the time on her phone. 'It's getting late anyway, and we have school tomorrow.'

'About school.' Quinn looked at her. 'What are we going to do?'

'I say we walk through those doors tomorrow, hand in hand, and tell everyone.' She smiled. Quinn let out a small chuckle and rubbed her eyes.

'Are you sure? What about Karofski? What about….' Santana took Quinn's hand.

'I'm positive. Our parents know, the glee club knows, Miss P knows so I don't think we'd be able to hide for long anyways.' She grinned. 'I want everyone to know that you are off limits.'

'Okay then.' Quinn took in a deep breath and nodded, leaning over to kiss Santana. 'You're sure you're okay?'

'Positive. Lets go.' Santana unhooked their hands and got out of the car, Quinn following. They walked up to the house and stepped through the door, immediately met by the sound of voices shouting.

'_I don't want that girl in my house, she is corrupting my daughter…..'_

'_Maria, stop. You know who Santana is. Quinn being here just makes it harder for you to avoid it.'_

_'Javier when will you open your eyes! This is not right!' _

Quinn stepped up besides Santana and squeezed her hand in comfort. Santana shooting her a reassuring smile and then closed the front door. She almost slammed it so it didn't surprise them when the shouting stopped. 'Santana? Is that you?'

'Yeah Papi, we're back from Quinn's.' Santana called, her father and mother emerging from the kitchen. Mrs Lopez simply looked at the girls before storming off upstairs. 'Is she gonna hate me forever?' Santana joked, Mr Lopez leaning against the staircase and rubbing his brow.

'She doesn't hate you sweetheart, she just needs time.' Javier stepped closer to his daughter and pulled her into a hug, Quinn stepping back to give them the moment. 'I promise everything will be okay.' He kissed her on the forehead and then plastered a smile on his face. 'So, girls.' He stepped back. 'Do you have everything you need for school tomorrow?'

'Yeah, thanks Mr Lopez.' Quinn smiled. 'And thank you, for letting me stay.'

'It's my pleasure Quinn.' He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. 'Now I suggest you girls get some sleep.'

'Yeah, goodnight dad.' Santana smiled at him, taking Quinn by the hand and leading her upstairs.

* * *

><p>'You still awake San?' Quinn asked a little while later, looking over at the bedside clock she saw it was almost midnight. When there was no response from the Latina, Quinn rolled over onto her side and looked at her. She was out cold. Quinn smiled at the fact she was sleeping peacefully, but hated to think about when the next nightmare would take over. She sighed and ran her hands through her hair, getting up from the bed and heading downstairs. She stepped into the kitchen to get a lass of water, expecting it to be empty, when she saw Santana's father sitting on one of the kitchen stools. 'Mr Lopez?' She said, stepping into the dimly lit room.<p>

'Oh, Quinn, is everything alright?' He looked up from his coffee.

'Yeah I was just getting a glass of water.' She smiled, taking a glass from the cupboard and turning on the tap.

'Quinn, would you mind sitting with me for a moment?' He looked at the girl who smiled at him once more.

'Sure Mr Lopez.' She said, taking a seat next to him.

'Please call me Javier.' He grinned, Quinn nodding. 'But I wanted to see how Santana was doing. I guess you know about everything?'

'I do, yeah.' Quinn paused. 'I know about Marcus too.' Mr Lopez's head shot up.

'She told you about her brother?'

'Yeah. I'm really sorry.'

'It's alright, it was a long time ago.' He smiled weakly. 'So is she doing okay?'

'Honestly, no. We're going to make an appointment with the councillor at school, and then maybe a psychiatrist and see if that will help her.'

'The nightmares were bad?' He asked, Quinn seeing the tears form in his eyes.

'Yeah, they were. Most of the time I can wake her up, it's just horrible to watch her go through that almost every night.'

'I know. We almost pulled her out of Nationals. We didn't think it would be good for her but now I can see that maybe it was.' He smiled. 'I remember when the police called us that night.' He stared into his mug. 'It's bad enough when you're told one of your children was dying, but then get that call again…' He sighed. 'We thought that she was gone. We thought that both of our children had been taken away from us.' He wiped a tear from his face. 'When the surgeon came out and told us she was alive, I was….'

'I know.' Quinn smiled, placing her hand on top of his.

'But then my wife had to make assumptions, she had to find a reason why these things happened to our family.'

'And the only thing they had in common….' Quinn started.

'Yeah, the common denominator was that they were both gay.' He laughed. 'My wife the devout catholic had to put it down to that. She couldn't just accept that bad things sometimes happen to people who don't deserve it. I know I haven't accepted it fully yet, but Santana is my child and I will love her no matter whhat, but my wife...'

'Javier….' Quinn pause, using his first name sounding odd. 'I know you don't want to hear this but it's not uncommon, you know the Catholic religion isn't accepting of gay people.'

'I know that Quinn, but it's her daughter. She no longer acknowledges my son, i hide pictures of him in my drawer at work so she doesn't see them. How has it come to this? How did I end up with someone who might not love her own children any more?' Quinn stared at the man in front of her and really wanted to answer his questions she just couldn't. And Mr Lopez saw the look in her eyes. 'Quinn, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be unloading on you right now.' He laughed it off. 'Get back to bed and if there's anything you need let me know.'

'Thanks.' Quinn said before making her way back upstairs. She carefully got back under the covers and slipped an arm across Santana's waist. She stirred momentarily but didn't wake up, Quinn watching her sleep and thinking about how eventful tomorrow was going to be.


	72. Chapter 72

**I know this isn't long enough! Please just stay with me! i have also had a request fir a new fic which will be uploaded soon, and probably take over as my main priority. (Thanks to Ellen1996!)**

**I do know some of you are waiting for the final chapter of Happy Halloween, and it's half written! just dont know how to end it :/**

* * *

><p><strong>This Could Get Really Bad<strong>

Quinn heard her phone buzzing. She rolled over carefully, removing her arm from Santana's waist and groggily reaching over to scoop it up. She looked at the clock, five thirty. 'This had better be important.' She groaned quietly, flipping the top of her phone open. She squinted, the sudden bright light making her eyes glaze over, but then they focused and she saw the message was from Rachel.

_Quinn, you need to call me as soon as you're awake. Don't tell Santana. _

'What?' She whispered, not liking how ominous the message sounded. She looked over at the sleeping Latina before silently lifting the covers off of herself and sliding out of the bed. She went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, scanning her phone book and dialling Rachel.

'Quinn, thank God.' She said, the blonde noticing the panic in her voice.

'Rachel, what the hell? It's really early.' Quinn could hear the tiredness in her own voice so she had no idea what Rachel was hearing.

'I know and I'm sorry but it's important.'

'Rachel why do you sound weird?' Quinn asked suspiciously.

'Well, I'm not sure exactly how to tell you this but… um… okay, you know how at Nationals there were people filming the performances?'

'Yeah, what's your point?' Quinn closed her eyes as she sat on the toilet seat, leaning her head against the cold wall behind her.

'Well, they do that so that they can post the performances on-line, you know, hype up the show choir world and all that…'

'Rachel what is it!' Quinn almost shouted.

'Well there's a video of us performing…..' She drifted off again.

'And?' Quinn prompted.

'And there are a few comments underneath it, about Santana and yourself.' She said quietly.

'Wait, what?' Quinn lifted her head, fully awake now. 'What do they say?'

'Quinn, I….'

'What do they say Rachel?'

'Well, one in particular caught my eye. It basically says that they hated the performance but wanted to see more of the Latina and the hot blonde making out.' Rachel informed her.

'What, so someone saw me and Santana? Someone knows about us?'

'I think so Quinn, yeah.'

'Shit, Santana is going to freak out.' Quinn ran her free hand through her hair.

'I thought it would be wise to tell you first. Give you the heads up. I know Jacob likes to troll the internet for gossip before school.'

'Yeah, okay. Thanks Rachel. I'll see you at school later.'

'Bye Quinn, and good luck.'

'Thanks.' Quinn sighed, hanging up the phone and then heading back to Santana's room. She saw that Santana was awake, rolling around and trying to make herself comfortable once more.

'Q, who are you talking to? Your damn phone woke me up.' Santana moaned, pulling the covers over her head as Quinn made her way back under them.

'I know, I'm sorry.' Quinn crawled right up behind her and lent her head on her arm.

'So, who was it?' Santana asked once more.

'It was Rachel.'

'What did she want?'

'Oh, nothing, go back to sleep.' Quinn whispered unconvincingly. Stroking Santana's hair to try and help her drift off.

'Q, I know you're lying.' Santana rolled over onto her back, Quinn now looking down over her. 'Just tell me.'

'Okay.' Quinn said. 'But you have to stay calm, promise?'

'I'll try.' Santana smiled.

'Well Rachel called to give us the heads up. Apparently there was some stuff posted online about us.'

'What about us Q?' Santana swallowed, the blonde sighing.

'That we're together.' Santana looked away from Quinn's eyes and stared up to the ceiling.

'So what you're saying is that when we get to school today, everyone could know?'

'Yeah, that's about right.'

'Great.' Santana smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. Quinn could see tears forming just below their surface.

'Hey.' Quinn whispered, stroking the side of her girlfriend's face and making Santana look at her again. 'Everything will be fine. I promise you. This doesn't even change our plans really. We were going to get everything out there anyway.' Quinn smiled down at her.

'I know. But that would have been on our terms, this is on theirs. I just don't know what happens now?' Santana took Quinn's hand from her face and kissed it.

'Now,' Quinn said. 'We walk into that school with our heads high, and rule the whole damn place.' She grinned, Santana smiling until she had a thought.

'What about when they throw slushies at us? And call us names?'

'Then we round up the glee club and go kick their asses.' Quinn informed her, Santana laughing.

'Sounds like a plan Q.' Santana sat up and kissed her. 'But can we please try and get a little more sleep?'

'Yes definitely.' Quinn grinned. 'I know how grumpy you get when you don't sleep.'

'Hey!' Santana slapped her playfully, both girls laughing as they settled back under the covers properly. Santana had curled towards Quinn with her head on the blonde's shoulder, one arm wrapped over Quinn's stomach. 'You know this could get really bad right?' Santana sad quietly, Quinn kissing her on the top of the head.

'Yeah, I know.' She admitted, not knowing how the other students would react. Karofski worried her especially. He hated gay people and had made Kurt's life miserable for months. She just hoped that she was going to be able to protect Santana from him, the brunette would argue with her on that one, but Santana needed protecting. Who knows what would happen if Karofski squared up to her. Her brain would flash back to two years ago and she would never escape the nightmare. Quinn sighed and pulled her in closer, feeling her breathing even out as she fell back to sleep. Quinn couldn't sleep. She was thinking too hard about the day ahead of them, and every possible terrible scenario that could happen.


	73. Chapter 73

**I know this is short! I'm trying to get back into it so the next ones should be longer! xx**

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><p><strong>You Are So Not A Morning Person<strong>

'Santana?' Quinn shook the smaller girls shoulders. 'San, come on.' She said as she threw off the covers and stepped literally over the Latina to switch the alarm clock off. 'Santana, I'm going to get dressed and if you're not up when I get back I swear to God!' She saw the clock read seven forty-five. They were going to be late for their first day back if they didn't get a move on. The blonde emerged from the bathroom about ten minutes later, fully washed and dressed and ready to go. Santana was still in the same position. 'Santana!' She yelled, pulling the covers down the bed.

'Q… go back to sleep.' Santana pleaded, rolling over and hugging the duvet around herself.

'No San, we have to get ready.' Quinn reminded her. 'Why do you have an alarm clock if it doesn't wake you up?'

'It did wake me up, I just don't want to get up.' Santana groaned as she rolled over onto her back. 'You look hot Q.' She winked.

'Okay, and so will you. Now get your skanky ass out of bed and shower.' Quinn threw a towel at her. 'You have seven minutes.'

'Q…' She sulked.

'Come on Santana!' Quinn bounced back down onto the bed.

'Fine.' She mumbled, sitting up and running her hand through her hair. It was completely ruffled from all of the rolling around she did that night. Quinn giggled from behind her as Santana turned her tired eyes to Quinn.

'Why are you laughing at me?' She asked, grinning slightly.

'You're hair.' Quinn stated, watching as the brunette got up to look in the bathroom mirror.

'I look like a bird's nest.' Santana called back, Quinn still smiling.

'Yeah, but a cute one!' She yelled.

'Whatever.' Santana shook her head laughing. 'I'll be quick.'

'Okay, and by the way..' Quinn called to her before she could close the door. 'Rachel offered to give us a ride to school today so she'll be here in fifteen minutes.'

'Really?' Santana sulked again. 'It's too early for Berry, my brain needs time to wake up and adjust to the normal levels of noise before I'm exposed to her.' Santana joked.

'Be nice San, and she's coming so move your but!' Quinn heard another groan as Santana closed the bathroom door.

* * *

><p>They were standing on Santana's porch about seven minutes later. Santana yawned and looked very much like she was rushed out of bed, but then she was. Quinn stood next to her smiling, the Latina leaning her head against one of the sturdy white beams outlining the front door. Santana looked over to her suspiciously. 'What are you smiling at?' Santana asked grumpily.<p>

'You.' Quinn grinned. 'I think you are the most adorable thing I've ever seen.' Santana smiled as her eyes closed.

'Oh yeah, why's that?'

'Because you are so not a morning person.'

'What gave it away.' Santana groaned, opening her eyes and looking at Quinn's smile. 'I thought you said Rachel was coming?'

'She is….' Quinn looked at the floor. 'In about twenty minutes.' Quinn grinned.

'What? Q! You rushed me out of bed for nothing.' Santana looked at her in shock, shaking her head.

'Not for nothing San.' Quinn stepped up to her and took her hands. 'I knew that if I didn't hurry your ass up you would have stayed in that bed all day. I don't want you to be afraid of everyone Santana.'

'You know,' Santana started. 'You are so lucky, you're cute.' Santana grinned, leaning in to kiss her.

'Yeah, works in my favour.' Quinn smiled, sitting on the porch and dragging Santana down with her. The brunette then putting her head gently on Quinn's shoulder.

'I love you Quinn.' Santana whispered, her voice turning much more serious. Quinn laughed.

'Well, I love you too.' She said, stroking Santana's arm up and down.

'And I just wanted to apologise now.'

'What?' Quinn lifted her chin to look at her. 'What are you apologising for?'

'I'm apologising, because if what Rachel said is true, if everyone knows, I'm probably going to do a lot of stupid things today.' Santana admitted, smiling sadly at her girlfriend.

'No you wont San, I wont let you.' Quinn promised, kissing the top of her head.

'We only have two classes together Q, you cant be there all the time.'

'I know. But that's what the glee club is for.' She grinned. 'We've all got your back.'

'Yours too Quinn.' Santana said, both girls just as determined to look out for the other.

* * *

><p>A little while later Rachel pulled up in front of the Latina's house, seeing the two girls on the porch she got out and walked over to them. 'Please tell me she hasn't fallen back to sleep?' Rachel asked, looking down at Santana, who had indeed fallen back to sleep.<p>

'What can I say, the girl is one with her bed.' Quinn laughed, cupping Santana's cheek and whispering to her. 'Come on babe, time to go.'

'Mmmm.' She groaned, linking her arm through Quinn's and kissing her on the cheek. 'Okay.' She smiled, opening her eyes. 'Hey Berry.'

'Santana. Is everything okay with you two?'

'Fine.' Quinn sighed. 'Well, as fine as it can be.'

'Sure, now how about we get going. Hopefully we can avoid people like Jew-Fro and Karofski until we know how bad the situation is.'

'We can hope.' Quinn said, hauling herself and Santana up and then following Rachel to the car.


	74. Chapter 74

**I Know A Lot About You**

They pulled up in the school parking lot about twenty minutes later. They were earlier than they needed to be for school, but Rachel had a plan. As they parked, Quinn and Santana noticed two other cars already there, and four familiar faces standing around them. Quinn got out smiling, taking Santana's hand and walking over to them as Rachel led the way. 'Rachel called us, is that okay?' Mercedes asked, she and Tina walking over to meet them in the middle, Brittany and Lauren right behind them.

'Of course it's okay.' Quinn smiled, letting go of Santana briefly whilst she hugged Mercedes, Santana smiling nervously behind her.

'We're going to be your back-up San, isn't that cool?' Brittany asked, bouncing over to Santana. Quinn only noticed the girl flinch slightly before composing herself, wrapping her arms around Brittany and smiling genuinely.

'It's great Brit.' Santana smiled, pulling away. 'Really, thank you guys.'

'No problem Santana.' Lauren grinned. 'To be honest I've been looking for an excuse to break Karofski's nuts so it would be cool if you could help me out, if you know what I mean?' She leaned towards Santana but Quinn stopped her.

'No.' She said firmly. 'We are going nowhere near him Lauren. We are not provoking him, or anyone for that matter, because we want this to be a normal day.'

'Okay blondie, but if he..'

'If he steps to either Santana or myself feel free to break anything you want.' Quinn confirmed.

'Got it.' Lauren smiled cheerfully. Santana let out a small laugh and shook her head. She really was grateful to these guys for helping them. This time last year she would have killed for them to be with her but she hadn't trusted them enough to tell them anything. That was going to change. Santana Lopez had friends, not to mention an amazing girlfriend, and she wasn't going to screw it up now.

'Alright guys, here is what I propose we do today.' Rachel began, and for once Santana didn't feel like trying to punch her. 'One of us has to stay with them both at all times. I have copies of your schedules and Quinn and Santana didn't have as many classes together as I thought so it's going to be a bit tricky, however, Santana and I have almost all of our classes together so I can take Santana watch for most of the day.'

'Oh god!' Santana joked, burying her head in Quinn's shoulder as she giggled, along with some of the others.

'Anyway,' Rachel grinned. 'Tina and Brittany seem to have the most with Quinn, so if you guys can work something out there.'

'Sure, we've got your back Q.' Tina winked, Quinn shooting a grateful smile their way.

'Which leaves Mercedes and Lauren on hallway watch. Keep an eye out for anything suspicious, you know, jocks carrying slushies that they have no intention of drinking, stuff like that.'

'No problem.' Mercedes confirmed, Lauren simply nodding.

'And then we all meet up for lunch and glee at the end of the day.' Rachel smiled. 'I have informed the guys about the plan so they will be extra eyes if or when we need them.' She concluded; 'So lets have a great day! Santana I will see you in Biology.' Before heading towards the building.

'Hey Rachel.' Santana called, the diva spinning round to face her. 'Thank you, really.' Rachel beamed at her.

'You are very welcome Santana.' And then she was off again.

'Well, I guess we need to go to our lockers and then, game on.' Santana grinned, Quinn shaking her head and pulling her into a deep kiss. The others had followed Rachel so they had some privacy, although Quinn didn't like them being out here and so exposed, so she quickly ended the kiss and took Santana's hand.

'Come on, once we get through the day, you can make all the jokes you want. Until then, keep a low profile. I meant what I said Santana, about not antagonising anyone. Especially Karofski.'

'I know Q, trust me I want to be a ghost today.' Santana gripped onto the blonde's arm as tightly as she could, walking at a steady, but not frantic pace, into the building.

'Okay good.' Quinn smiled, but then stopped. 'So my locker's this way.' She pointed to the left.

'Yeah, mines that way.' Santana pointed to the right. She sighed. 'Do we have to? I mean, who actually uses their books?'

'I do.' Quinn smiled, stepping to the front of Santana and pulling her in by the waist. 'It'll be fine.'

'Yeah.' Santana agreed half heartedly, hugging Quinn and playing with her long blonde hair.

'And my phone will be on all the time, so text me whenever you can.'

'Back at you Quinn, text me every five minutes.' Quinn laughed and pulled back.

'Don't you think that's a bit much?' She asked, seeing the serious look on her girlfriend's face.

'Not today I don't.' Santana said, Quinn nodding slightly as she looked up. Kids were starting to arrive as she saw a group of freshman walk through the door. They wouldn't be any trouble, it's the kids in their own year they had to be worried about, and there may be some back-lash from the cheerios. Even though they weren't cheerleaders anymore, they had still been in there and gotten changed with them all. They might take that the wrong way. They just needed to be really careful.

'Go to class, meet Rachel. I'll see you at break okay?' Quinn smiled, planting a kiss on her cheek as she walked away.

'Bye Q.' She whispered, pretty sure the blonde couldn't hear her but she was to nervous to make any sort of loud noise in case it attracted attention. How stupid was that. Anyway, she took a long breath and headed down the hall towards her locker. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p>As she rounded the corner she saw Brittany, letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding as she walked over. Standing next to the dancer Santana tried to open her locker, Brittany looked over and saw her hands shaking. Santana let out a frustrated sound as she put her hands down to her sides. She shook them about slightly and closed her eyes, trying to focus on what she had to do and not what she was afraid of. She jumped as Brittany started to speak. 'You okay San?'<p>

'I'm fine.' Santana said, eyes still closed as she focused on her breathing.

'Liar.' Brittany simply stated, the brunette's eyes opening at the accusation. 'You're shaking.'

'I'm always shaking Brit.' Santana reminded her. 'Especially this time of year.'

'I know, but it seems worse.' Brittany noticed. 'How did it go with your parents?'

'As well as I expected.' Santana said, reaching back up to her lock and trying to put in the code.

'What does that mean?' Brittany closed her own locker and lent up against it facing Santana.

'Well, I think dad will be able to get used to the idea. He's not happy about it, but he loves me.'

'That's good then, what about your mum?' Brittany wondered, Santana looking down.

'Lets just say that if dad wasn't there, Q and I would both be homeless.' Santana sighed, slamming the lock into her locker at another failed attempt. 'Shit!' She yelled, annoyed with herself that she couldn't do it.

'San, move back okay.' Brittany said, gently motioning her aside as she took the lock in her own hands and entered the code. Santana looked at her in shock, the blonde opening the door for her and then stepping away.

'Thanks B, how did you know my combo? You have enough trouble remembering your own.' Santana smiled.

'I know a lot about you San, I'll never forget it.' Brittany smiled. 'I'm just glad you finally have someone who can give you things I couldn't.'

'Brit, I don't understand you, you're with Artie.'

'Yeah and I love him. But I also love you, it just sucks that we never got our shot. Bad timing I guess.' She shrugged and started to walk away.

'Brit.' Santana called, but the blonde didn't turn around. 'I love you too.'

'I know.' Brittany called back. 'Be careful today. I'll see you at lunch.'

'Yeah, see you.' Santana said, but Brittany was already on her way, and the hall was filling up with students. She needed to get to class now because no matter how early she was, the safety of a teacher seemed like a wonderful idea.


	75. Chapter 75

**It's Not Just A Word**

Santana was almost jogging by the time she reached her Biology room. The hallways were nearly full but she hadn't seen any cheerios or footballers which she was relieved about. She stopped right outside the room and returned to normal pace before entering, peering around the doorframe. She sighed again, she was doing that a lot lately, when Rachel was already in there. She walked over to the smaller girl and took a seat beside her, letting her books fall heavily onto the table. 'I think this is the first time you've sat with me willingly.' Rachel smiled.

'Yeah well, you're my bodyguard right? My teeny-tiny body guard.' Santana joked.

'Yes I am.' Rachel said proudly, Santana laughing and flipping open her text book. Rachel noticed the shaking as Brittany had moments ago, and she was curious. She reached out a hand and took Santana's, the brunette trying to pull away but Rachel had a firm grip.

'What are you doing Berry?' Santana looked at her, but the girl was only looking down at their hands.

'I don't know, I just wanted to understand more I guess. Isn't the shaking supposed to come and go? This seems constant.' Santana relaxed her hand and let it rest on the table, Rachel ran her fingers over it gently to feel every movement.

'It started that way, at certain times I would shake. Normally right after a nightmare or panic attack.'

'But now..' Rachel prompted.

'But now it's stuck. Pretty much all the time, especially when I'm scared or nervous.' Santana informed her.

'What are you now? Scared or nervous?' Rachel asked, Santana letting out a small chuckle.

'Both. It's always both.' She ran her free hand through her hair and looked at Rachel. 'Except when I'm with Q. She calms me down and I feel okay for a little while.' Santana smiled, Rachel mimicking her, but before the conversation could carry on the room began to fill. Santana quickly pulled her hand back and clasped them both on her lap under the table. A few jocks and cheerios shot her glares as they walked in but no one would try anything in a classroom, especially as the teacher just walked in. She heard whispers and saw people looking at her, a couple of the hockey players were smiling and checking her out, and she felt like she could run right out that door and never look back. She resisted the urge and pulled out her phone, texting silently under the table; _Is it home time yet? __L__ x San. _Before closing it and slipping in back into her bag.

Their teacher was writing something on the board as the last of the students filed in. Karofski was not in this class, but Azemio was. He smiled at her was he walked in, coming around the front of their desk and leaning towards her slightly. Rachel saw this and made sure she was ready to jump in, but all the boy said was; 'Hey dyke.' And then he slithered away, leaving Santana's heart pounding in fear and Rachel's teeth gritted in anger. This was going to be a fun day.

* * *

><p>The bell couldn't come fast enough for Santana, as soon as she heard it chime she was out of there, Rachel quickly on her heels. 'Santana, wait.' She called, her shorter legs having to work harder to keep up. 'Santana!' She grabbed her arm, probably not the best thing to do because it sent Santana shooting backwards and into the lockers. Her face grimaced in pain but she didn't try to move any more, Rachel coming right up in front of her. 'I'm sorry, I….'<p>

'It's okay Rachel. I'm just freaking out, it's okay.' She said with her eyes closed. Rachel saw her chest rising up and down, trying to control her breathing and shaking as she pounded her fist on the metal behind her.

'San stop it, you'll hurt yourself.' Rachel pleaded. 'It was just a word, a stupid meaningless word used by cowards.' Santana stopped, opening her eyes and looking at the diva.

'It's not just a word.' She whispered. 'It's me, it's who I am, and they use it as an insult.' She almost laughed. 'And this is what it does to me Rachel. One stupid word and I'm on the brink of breaking down.'

'Santana, it's going to be okay. You just need to give it some time..'

'Time for what? How is this going to get better?' Santana asked, not caring about the kids walking past who were staring at her. She was crying in the middle of the hall and for once, she didn't care. 'Kurt transferred before he felt safe.'

'Santana look at me.' Rachel stepped right up to her, taking her hands in her own. 'You have Quinn, and you have us. Everything will be okay.' She assured her.

'Everyone keeps saying that, but none of you know how wrong you are.' Santana laughed and pushed off from the lockers as she set off again.

'Santana come on you have to think positively here.' Rachel tried to encourage optimism but the Latina wasn't buying it.

'No, I cant do that Rachel.'

'Why not?' Rachel asked, finally catching up enough to walk beside her.

'Because if I let myself think everything is okay, it will hurt ten times worse when in isn't. I know I'm going to get slushied today, I know someone will probably shove me around, and I know everyone is going to call me names. I do not need false hope when this shit is going to happen anyway.'

'Santana..' Rachel began.

'No, please don't Rachel. Don't try and make this better when you cant okay. I appreciate everything, I do, but it's not going to make it stop.' Santana said sadly before pushing her way into the bathroom, Rachel still close on her heels.

But as soon a the door closed behind them Santana stopped, so abruptly that Rachel collided with her back. But when the diva looked round her and saw why she stopped, she knew exactly how Santana was feeling. 'Well, well, well, our former leader.' One of the cheerios grinned. 'What brings you into your bathroom Lopez? Do you fancy one of us?' She snickered. Rachel knew the one speaking, Casey she remembered was her name, but the other two were knew. They had to be freshman.

'I need a piss Casey, what's it to you?' Santana did her best to put on her bitch voice, even adding her signature glare, but it wasn't working.

'Oh wow, so you are going to be one of those really butch lesbians.' The girls laughed. 'How pathetic.'

'And look Casey, she's hanging out with dwarfs now.' One of the unnamed freshman said, Rachel taking lots of offence as she stepped in front of Santana.

'No wait.' Casey said, looking at them slyly. 'The midget is actually defending her. Isn't that sweet.' She said sarcastically, the other two girls laughing harder. Santana's fists clenched by her sides. She promised Quinn she wouldn't do anything stupid but it was so hard. She felt Rachel grip onto her hand causing her to relax a little. 'Come on San, lets go.' Rachel whispered to her, Santana nodding slightly and heading for the door, Rachel's hand still wrapped over her own.

'Oh you're no fun.' Casey aid sarcastically, but she too noticed their linked hands. 'Don't tell me you're cheating on Fabray already Lopez? I mean we know you're a slut and all but this is juts hurtful.' She laughed as she placed a sarcastic hand over her heart, and that was it. Santana lost it. She pulled out of Rachel's grasp and stormed over to Casey, squaring right up to her. Santana had to clench her fists to make sure they didn't notice her shaking and she had to look up to see into Casey's eyes, but she did it.

'You listen to me Casey. My life is none of your business. Yes I am with a girl, get the fuck over it. All of you need to find something else in your pathetic lives to focus on because I will not sit by and let you do this shit.' She yelled, but the three cheerios simply stood there smiling at her.

'Don't let her touch you Casey, you might catch something.' One of the girls snickered, and Santana could feel the rage building up inside of her.

'You're not top dog around here any more Santana.' Casey poked a finger into her chest.

'Don't…' Santana whispered, but the cheerleader wasn't listening.

'This is my school now, so you, you're girlfriend and your dwarf, better stay out of my way.' She prodded Santana backwards, all three cheerios encroaching towards them. 'And if you don't want your blonde's life to be hell at this school, you better watch what you say to me. I know you Lopez. You wont let anyone near her, so you better behave.' She pushed Santana right up against the bathroom wall, Rachel not sure what she could do without starting a fight. 'Because one word from me and you wont get out of this place alive. Understand?' Her hand was practically around Santana's throat now, not tight but the threat was there. Rachel's eyes went wide, Casey had just threatened Santana, Santana's life. Karofski did the same to Kurt but his hand wasn't around his neck when he did it. Rachel was scared, and she was that Santana was too. With one final laugh Casey pushed her way out of the room with her two minions behind her. There was a horrible silence after they were gone, but Santana couldn't hold it in any longer. She slid down the wall in tears and pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her shaking arms around them and burying her head in her lap. Rachel's heart was aching but she knew there was nothing she could do. She needed Quinn, needed her now.


	76. Chapter 76

**That's Not The Point Santana**

Quinn burst through the door a few moments later with Tina who happened to be walking to second period with her at the time. The first thing she noticed was Rachel, leaning up against the sinks and biting her nails. 'She wouldn't let me touch her, I tried but…' Rachel said, tears almost falling out of her eyes, and then Quinn looked down towards Santana. She was huddled up against the wall, still shaking and still crying.

'It's okay Rachel, thanks for calling me right away.' Quinn smiled at her as she moved towards her girlfriend, Tina moved and put a comforting arm around Rachel and then both girls watched on. 'Santana, sweetie can you look at me?' Quinn knelt in front of her, not touching her yet but she would get there. Santana lifted her head and squinted her eyes, puffy and red from crying so hard.

'Quinn?' She croaked.

'Yeah, it's me.' Quinn smiled. She was more relieved when Santana reached out on her own and took her hand. Quinn let out a sigh of relief, maybe it wasn't as bad as it has been. And then before she knew it Santana had thrown herself forward and crashed into the blonde's arms. 'Woah, hey..' Quinn whispered, Santana still crying as she buried her face in the comforting smell of Quinn's cardigan. 'It's okay, you're okay.' She soothed, running her hands through Santana's hair and waiting for her to calm down. Five minutes later and Santana was leaning back up against the wall. She was all cried out and able to speak coherently now, even though her make up was ruined and her eyes were swollen. Quinn was sitting cross legged on the floor in front of her, their hands still linked as Quinn ran her thumb over Santana's knuckles. 'Can you tell me what happened now?' Quinn asked.

'Erm, yeah that Casey bitch and two of her cronies were in here when we came in.' Santana said, wiping her eyes on her free sleeve and leaning her head back on the wall.

'What about Azemio earlier?' Rachel reminded her, Quinn looking at her worriedly.

'What did he do?' She asked angrily.

'Nothing, he..' Santana paused. 'He called me a dyke.'

'San, I'm sorry.' Quinn's voice softened, Santana smiling sadly at her.

'Why Q? It's true.' She grinned, Quinn shaking her head as she smiled back at her.

'So what about Casey?' Tina asked. 'Even I think she's a bitch and I like most people.'

'She was just running her mouth. You know, I'm not top dog any more, this is her school. Whatever…' Santana ran her hand through her hair.

'Santana, I think you're missing out the part where she threatened your life.' Rachel pushed away from the sinks and looked down at the Latina, looks of shock appearing on both other girls faces.

'She what?' Quinn yelled.

'Thanks a lot Berry.' Santana closed her eyes and then got right to it. 'She said I had to stay in line, do what I was told or I wouldn't make it out of this school alive.'

'This is crap, we need to go to Figgins.' Tina said, and she was right, but Santana couldn't risk it.

'No. I'm not gonna do that.'

'Why not?' Quinn asked, moving to sit by Santana's side.

'Because she basically said that if I don't behave, and I'm guessing that snitching on her to Figgins would fall under misbehaving, she would make your life hell.' She looked into Quinn's eyes. 'And I'm not gonna let that happen.'

'Santana…' Quinn played with the sleeve of Santana's jumper.

'No, it's fine Q.' Santana smiled. 'I'm pretty sure I could take her if it came down to it.'

'San!' Quinn slapped her on the leg, the brunette laughing at her.

'I know, I know. I wont do anything. But I can handle it.' Santana confirmed. 'Now we are very late for second period.' Santana reminded them that they actually had lessons as she hauled herself up, with the help of Quinn of course, but she was standing.

'Lets go then.' Rachel smiled. 'And Santana if it gets too much you need to tell us, you too Quinn.'

'Yeah, you got it.' Santana smiled. And then they all filed out of the bathroom, Quinn and Tina to history and Rachel and Santana to English.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day went by normally. Rachel had also noticed that Santana had stopped shaking, maybe having Quinn around really did help her a lot. She and Santana were heading to the cafeteria for lunch, incredibly glad to see all of the glee club sitting at one of the round tables at the back of the hall. Santana sat next to Quinn, who smiled before pecking her on the lips, and Rachel took a seat next to Finn, linking her arm through his. 'Hey there ladies.' Puckerman started the conversation. 'How goes operation protect the lesbros?'<p>

'It's going well.' Rachel informed everyone. 'Only a slight altercation in the girls room, but that was resolved quickly.' She started to open the fruit salad Finn had gotten her. 'Oh and watch out for Casey, you know the knew head cheerleader, she has it out for Santana.'

'Berry, she does not, she was just trying to be tough in front of the newbies.' Santana said, stealing a swig of Quinn's soda.

'Oh yeah it really looked like that when her hand was around your throat Santana.' Rachel said without thinking, they hadn't told anyone about that part.

'She what?' Quinn looked at her, all of the guys looking like they were going to burst with anger.

'It wasn't tight or anything.' Santana whispered, sliding down in her seat.

'That's not the point Santana.' Kurt chimed in, Blaine's hand in his own. It was going to be a big help that Kurt and Blaine were back at McKinley, there were four people who had either been, or were going through this mess and Santana would take all the back up she could get. 'Santana, when Karofski threatened my life all he had to do was look at me and I'd run a mile. She had her hand around your neck and you're talking about it like nothing happened.'

'Look, I know she's not going to just go away, but she is too much of a coward to do anything. But on the off chance that something does happen, you guys will be the first to know.' She smiled at them, none of them really buying it but they would let it go from now. The conversation had died down, everyone either eating or having a quiet conversation with the person beside them, when they saw Karofski striding over to the table with a smirk on his face.

'Karofski.' Puck and Finn stood up. 'You need to get out of here.'

'Hang on now guys, I just wanted to have a little chat with our newest celebrities.' He stopped at the edge of the table, behind Quinn and Santana. 'Word in the halls is that you two have shacked up.' He lent down and put his hand on Santana's shoulder, the brunette flinching and quickly shaking him off, turning to face him with an evil glare. 'Woah, someone's a bit jumpy.' He laughed.

'Maybe she just doesn't want a pig like you touching her.' Quinn spat, both girls now facing him and the guys all out of their seats.

'Just trying to make conversation with my class mates.' Karofski grinned. 'I guess you do prefer a gentler touch now don't you Lopez? Men too rough for you so you settled for baby mamma here.'

'Shut up Karofski. Even if I were straight I would never let you touch me.' Santana said, Quinn noticing her body language changing into defence mode.

'Oh wow, you're really damaged aren't you Lopez?' Karofski lent down to whisper in her ear, Santana backing up as far as she could before she met the table. 'What happened huh? Boyfriend tossed you around? Daddy got a little handsy? What is it that fucked you up?' He grinned, and Santana couldn't control herself any more. She launched into him, knocking him backwards and onto his ass as her left fist connected with his cheek.

'Santana!' Quinn yelled, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her back. She was breathing heavily, but controlling it, Quinn feeling her relax in her arms a few moments later.

'You fucking bitch!' Karofski spat, standing back up and thinking about stepping up to them again. He would have if it weren't for the glee guys, all of them forming a wall in front of the girls, and Karofski got the message to back off.

'Leave Karofski. Now.' Sam said firmly, and the entire cafeteria was watching them now.

'Fine, whatever, but you'll regret this Lopez.' He pointed at her before walking away, although Santana did feel a sense of pride as she saw the blood dripping from his nose.

'Okay.' Rachel said once they were all seated again. 'Now there's two people we need to watch out for.'

'Shut up Berry.' Santana joked, grinning as she threw her plastic fork at the diva. She had made Karofski bleed. The day was looking up.


	77. Chapter 77

**Just Another Nightmare**

Quinn and Santana had last period together, Math, and it was Santana's least favourite subject. Quinn couldn't recall how many times she had told the Latina to pay attention, Santana doodling in her notebook and playing on her phone. Glee club was the one thing Santana was looking forward to. She wanted to get straight back into singing and dancing and for one hour she could forget about everything. Finally the bell rang and they walked hand in hand to the choir room, only getting a few glares and people whispering about them. They could deal with that. Although the constant attention seemed to be taking it's toll on Santana more than Quinn would have liked, feeling the Latina's hand tightening around her own occasionally. 'San, relax.' Quinn whispered in her ear, letting her free arm run up and down Santana's.

'I'm trying Q, it's just so annoying.' Santana whispered back. 'Don't they have anything better to talk about?'

'I know, but it's nearly the end of the day. We just have to survive glee and then we're out of here.' Quinn smiled, planting a kiss on Santana's cheek and allowing the brunette to snuggle into her further.

'Yeah, home sounds nice for a change.' Santana joked. 'I think this has been the longest day of my life.'

'Mine too.' Quinn agreed, but then she looked back over her shoulder, fear jolting through her. 'San, walk faster okay.'

'Q, what is it?' Santana lifted her head from the blonde's shoulder and followed her gaze. 'Oh shit.' She said quietly, both girls filling with panic as they saw Karofski and two of his guys walking towards them down the hallway.

'We need to get to the choir room, now.' Quinn encouraged, clasping Santana's hand harder and both girls picking up the pace. They were about to round the corner when something blocked their way, Quinn pulled Santana behind her as they were met by two hockey players, smirking down at them. Quinn wasn't short by girl standards, but these guys towered over her by at least two feet, if not more, Santana who was several inches shorter than Quinn, was feeling very nervous.

'What's the rush ladies? School's finished.' The hockey player said, Quinn thought she knew his name, Ricky maybe? Quinn backed Santana up until she realised that Karofski was on the other side of the hall, turning to the side to press Santana back up against the lockers.

'Just leave us alone.' Quinn said calmly. 'We're going to glee club.'

'Oh right, land of the homos.' A football player laughed, Karofski looking them both up and down. Who knew that this is what it would take for the footballers and hockey players to work together.

'We just wanna talk.' Karofski continued for him, shrugging his shoulders as he walked in front of Quinn and looked down over her.

'Yeah, what about?' Quinn asked, trying to keep the conversation civil. She felt Santana at her back, grabbing onto the thin material of her cardigan and trying to stay calm. This was exactly the kind of shit Quinn needed to protect her from, especially this time of year.

'About you two.' He grinned.

'What about us?'

'We just want to know why? I mean you're the hottest girls in this crappy school, and you'd rather hook up with each other than with us guys. We just want to know what the deal is?'

'Haven't you ever heard of true love?' Quinn asked him, staring into his eyes but watching the rest of the guys with her peripherals. She had to be the strong one in this situation, because Santana physically couldn't be.

'True love!' Karofski spat, he and the rest of the boys bursting into laughter. 'Sorry, sorry, I don't mean to laugh but come on.' Karofski stared at her. 'True love? You genuinely love that slut?' He motioned to Santana.

'Watch it Karofski.' Quinn gritted her teeth, not sure what she would do if he didn't back off but she could at least try to look tough. 'And yes I love her more than anything.'

'Wow, this is great.' Karofski ran a hand through his hair. 'What about you Lopez? You love blondie?' Santana nodded, pulling Quinn back into her slightly but not looking at him, at any of them.

'What's wrong with her man?' Ricky asked Karofski, leaning down towards Santana who flinched back more.

'You know, I've been wondering that same thing? Yo Lopez.' He shouted at her. 'What's up with you?'

'Karofski I swear to god if you don't leave..' Quinn started, but the guys were way into this now. They needed to know.

'I'm not going anywhere Quinn. Not until we've had some fun.' He stepped towards them both, Santana's shaking fist gripping onto Quinn's arm as he did so, but the blonde put up a hand.

'Do you have any idea what you're doing? We're on school property you asshole, you'll get suspended if you do anything to us.'

'Really?' He smiled at her. 'What about if I have an alibi?'

'What? Who would do that?' Quinn asked.

'Casey. We have an arrangement.' He smiled smugly, very proud of himself as he continued towards them.

'Wait, wait..' Quinn shouted. 'Why do you hate this so much?' She asked, thinking that if she could keep the conversation going long enough someone would walk past, or someone from glee would come looking for them.

'Simple. It's wrong. And now that Hummel is off limits, I need some new toys.'

'You're a pig Dave, just back the fuck away from us!' Quinn shouted again, his smiling expression turning to anger and impatience.

'No way.' He smiled one last time before grabbing Quinn's right wrist, pulling her away from Santana and across the hallway. He slammed her up against the lockers, her face grimacing in pain, but then she looked back across towards her girlfriend. Ricky had his hands on Santana, the other hockey player and a footballer closing in on her.

'Karofski!' Quinn shouted. 'Let go of me!' She screamed, and then she hear Santana. She was yelling, but randomly, like her nightmares. Ricky had put his hand around the back of her neck and that was all it took to set her off. She scrambled away from him along the lockers but the other guys were there to stop her. One of them grabbed her around the stomach and picked her up, Quinn watched her legs kicking frantically and her fists swatting in every direction. 'Karofski! They don't know what they're doing to her! LET. ME. GO!' Quinn screamed, Karofski was also watching the scene across the hall, not sure what was going on, so Quinn managed to struggle away from him. She was crying by this point and she could see Santana was too. Just then, one of Santana's flying feet caught the footballer holding her in the groin, causing him to double over and drop her. She fell hard onto the marble floor, Quinn hearing her left elbow make first contact, but then she pushed herself along the cold surface and huddled in a ball by the lockers. Quinn ran over to her, the guys all watching silently as she dropped down beside her. She was shaking like Quinn had never seen before, her eyes shut tight but tears were still falling from them.

'Santana!' She cried. 'San, open your eyes, please.' Quinn tried to reach out to her, taking her hand, but all it seemed to do was cause her more distress. So then Quinn did the only thing she could think of. She took out her phone and dialled Rachel. By the time the diva picked up, Karofski, the football players and the hockey players had made a run for it. Quinn would find a way to deal with them later.

'Hello? Quinn?'

'Rachel! Thank god, you need to come out into the hall.' Quinn spoke calmly, fighting through her tears as she stayed by Santana's side.

'Quinn, why? Where are you guys?' Rachel asked.

'Rachel! Please! Go out of the choir room, turn right and then right at the end of the corridor, please! I need help, I just need help, and bring Mr Schu.' Quinn added, but she was pretty sure everyone would come when Rachel told them what was happening.

'Okay, we're coming.' Rachel confirmed, Quinn hanging up the phone and then turning back to Santana.

'San, babe can you hear me?' Quinn asked, stroking the side of her face as she did so. This seemed to help calm her and Quinn was just relieved that Santana was letting her touch her. But her eyes were still closed.

'Yeah, Q… He's… they're back..' She mumbled.

'Santana, listen to me. They're not here. It's a nightmare, okay? Just another nightmare that I need you to wake up from. Can you do that for me?' Quinn let a tear fall to the floor, watching Santana shake her head as she heard a stampede of footsteps coming down the hall.


	78. Chapter 78

**They Wouldn't Listen**

'Quinn!' Rachel called, the blonde looking up and seeing their friends come round the corner. She was right in thinking that they would all come, Mr Schu following behind but he made his way to the front after everyone stopped. They didn't really know what to do. Quinn was crying and Santana was lying huddled in a ball on the floor, her back pressed against the lockers and her small frame vibrating madly. Quinn was still stroking her hair, it seemed to be the only part pf the Latina she was allowed to touch.

'Quinn, are you okay?' Mr Schu asked, kneeling down and putting a hand on her shoulder.

'My.. My wrist is sore but I'm fine. It's San, I cant touch her more that this…. She wont..' Quinn couldn't help the sobs that overcame her, Mr Schu putting an arm across her back and rubbing it gently. During this time, Brittany had made her way down to Santana, the rest of the glee club watching, but that was all they could do.

'Santana?' Brittany whispered, leaning right down towards her face. 'Santana, can you hear me?'

'Brit, I tried that.' Quinn managed to choke out. 'I tried to make them stop but they wouldn't listen! They wouldn't listen!' Quinn yelled, Mr Schu trying to calm her down.

'Quinn, hang on okay, start from the beginning. What happened?' Her teacher asked.

'Wait, erm Finn.' Quinn wiped her face and looked up at him. 'Can you give me your hoodie?'

'Sure.' Finn didn't protest, he unzipped it and handed it to his former girlfriend, watching as she folded it up and placed it under Santana's head. 'If she cant move I at least want her to be comfy.' Quinn informed them, Brittany nodding as she took over stroking Santana's hair line, Quinn leaning up against the lockers beside her.

'Now Quinn, what happened?' Mr Schu asked again, the glee members taking up various positions around them.

'We were coming to glee. I saw Karofsky and two other footballers behind us so we walked quicker but then Ricky and some other hockey player blocked us off.'

'So, the footballers are working with the puck-heads now?' Sam said, sounding as shocked as everyone else looked. Those guys hated each other.

'Yeah, they said we were wrong, and didn't see why we couldn't date the guys at school.' Quinn rubbed her forehead and closed her eyes, exhaling loudly.

'Did you tell them you love each other?' Brittany asked, Quinn smiling over at her.

'Of course I did Brit, but they wouldn't believe it.'

'Okay, then what happened?' Mr Schu wanted all of the facts before he went to the principle.

'Then, Karofsky grabbed me and pulled me away from her. He shoved me into the lockers over there and he wouldn't let me go.' Quinn could feel the tears falling down her face again, quickly wiping them away. 'And then Ricky put his hand around Santana's neck and she freaked out. She tried to get away and one of the other football guys picked her up around the stomach. She kicked him and he dropped her.' Quinn looked at Mr Schu. 'He dropped her and she fell, I think she landed on her elbow but I don't know if she's okay because she's lying on it. And she wont talk to me, she wont even open her eyes! Mr Schu, I told them to back off, I told them they didn't know what it would do to her, but they wouldn't listen!' She cried, Rachel kneeling down beside her and wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulder.

'Quinn, look at me.' Mr Schu said firmly, watery green eyes meeting his own. 'You did everything right, okay, everything. She just needs a little time to calm down.' Quinn nodded, smiling weakly at him, the guys stepping away from the locker they were leaning against.

'Mr Schu, we're gonna kick their asses for this!' Puck said, his eyes filled with anger.

'Yeah, Mr Schu, let us go find them.' Sam agreed.

'I'm in.' Lauren stepped up. 'Nuts need to be broken.'

'Woah, woah.' Mr Schu stood up. 'No one is kicking anyone's asses alright. We will make sure Santana is okay and then she, Quinn and I are going to Principle Figgins' office.'

'Come on Mr Schu.' Finn said. 'We cant let them get away with this.'

'I know Finn, they wont. But I don't want any of you guys getting expelled in the mean time.'

'Mr Schu's right.' Quinn spoke from her position on the floor. 'They'll get what's coming. We just have to ride it out until then.' She closed her eyes, everyone falling into silence until they heard a small voice from below them.

'Q…Quinn.' Santana whispered, Quinn immediately looking down at her.

'Santana? Are you back?' Quinn asked, and then her answer was given when a pair of big brown eyes opened and locked with her own. 'Hey.' Quinn smiled.

'Hey.' Santana looked up at Quinn and no one else.

'Do you think you can sit up?' Quinn asked, Brittany and Rachel backing off to give them some space.

'Yeah, can you..' Santana reached out a shaking hand, Quinn latching onto it fiercely and helping to lift her slowly up until she was sitting upright with her back still to the lockers. 'Thanks.' She smiled at Quinn before leaning her head back and closing her eyes. They watched her clench her fists tightly before Quinn wrapped her own hands over the top of Santana's, the brunette's eyes snapping open at the contact.

'Hey, it's just me.' Quinn said quickly, seeing the panic in Santana's eyes. Santana swallowed and nodded her head.

'I know, I..' Santana stopped.

'You what?' Quinn encouraged.

'I'm sorry.' Santana whispered.

'Why are you sorry?' Quinn almost laughed at how ridiculous her girlfriend was being.

'Because I'm useless, I couldn't.. he didn't even do anything…. And I….'

'Santana, stop it.' Quinn wiped a tear from the Latina's face. 'How's your arm?' Quinn looked down at Santana's left side, a big red and purple bruise forming around her elbow.

'I… it's fine. I cant feel anything really.' She chuckled, letting out a breath. 'Are you okay?'

'I'm fine now San.' Quinn smiled at her. 'I promise.' Santana nodded, linking her hand properly with Quinn's before pulling it up to her mouth and planting a gentle kiss on it. Suddenly, one of those horrible convulsions rocked through Santana's body.

'Shit..' She said, and Quinn almost lost circulation at how hard Santana was gripping her.

'San? You okay?' Brittany asked.

'Never better B.' Santana grinned up at her, and then their teacher spoke again.

'Santana, we need to go to Figgins office and report this, can you do that?'

'Yeah, I'm okay.' Santana confirmed.

'But San, what about what Casey said?' Rachel reminded them.

'What about it?' Santana shrugged, standing as best she could with the help of Quinn and Mr Schu.

'Aren't you worried about what she might do if you tell on them?'

'No, I'm not.' Santana looked at Quinn. 'But we wont go if you don't want to Q.'

'We have to go San. We have to tell Figgins.'

'Okay then.' Santana smiled, taking Quinn's hand and leaning on her shoulder. This was definitely the longest day of both of their lives and Santana was pretty sure it would only get worse if they didn't tell their principle. She was pretty sure it would get worse either way, but at least this way they would have the adults on their side, what good it would do she wasn't sure, but they would have people to go to if they needed to.

'San.' Quinn said as they were walking slowly to the principles office.

'Yeah Q.' She replied, not moving from her position on Quinn's shoulder.

'I think it's time we booked an appointment with Miss P.' Quinn said, and she felt Santana tense the moment she let the words come out.

'Yeah, I think you're right.' Santana agreed quietly, both girls walking in silence until they reached Figgins' office.


	79. Chapter 79

**Can I Ask You Something?**

They emerged from Principle Figgins' office about an hour later. They ended up telling him everything, from the night Santana was attacked, to their relationship and then what happened in the hall that day. Their principle took the names of the boys, and girls, who were involved and promised to take action. Mr Schu had been assured by Quinn that she could take Santana home and look after her, and he reluctantly left for home. School had been over for two hours now so the place was suitably deserted. Rachel had offered to wait and drive them home seeing as they came in her car this morning, but Santana and Quinn both felt like they could use the walk. To get some fresh air and just process everything. Quinn linked her hand through Santana's, the school still in sight behind them but they had been walking silently for a while. Santana didn't seem to be able to go that fast anyway, small shakes making her stop every few steps. She was breathing through it, learning how to make it lessen, and then hopefully she would be able to beat it one day. And Quinn would be right there by her side. 'Just take your time San.' Quinn said, stopping for the fifth time in about ten minutes.

'Yeah, I know, I just want it to be gone.' Santana said sadly, Quinn watching as she closed her eyes, exhaling through a small shiver. Quinn felt Santana's hand tighten around her own but it soon relaxed, Santana opening her eyes. 'I'm good.' She informed Quinn, stepping forwards once more.

'It will get better Santana, I promise.' Quinn added the promise to Santana, and to herself, that it would all be okay at some point. Santana simply nodded and focused on the path in front of her, Quinn patiently strolling beside her.

'You know this could take all night?' Santana grinned, Quinn looking over at her with a small smile on her face.

'I know.' She nodded. 'But I don't think there's anywhere I'd rather be.' Santana blushed, looking down at her feet as she replied.

'Me neither.' She agreed, leaning into Quinn and putting her head down on the blonde's shoulder. 'Q?'

'Hmm?' Quinn replied, lost in the smell of Santana's long hair.

'What's going to happen tomorrow?'

'What part of tomorrow?' Quinn wanted clarification. They had an appointment with Miss Pillsbury after school, but Figgins had said he would be calling Karofsky and his guys into his office too.

'All of it.' Santana said quietly, linking her right hand through Quinn's arm, her left one hanging onto the blonde's hand.

'Well, I think once we talk to Miss P everything might become clearer. She can help us understand what you're going through, and why you're going through it. Maybe you can get some closure or something from talking to her?'

'Yeah, maybe.' Santana said timidly. 'What about Karofsky?'

'Karofsky will get expelled, so will Ricky and everyone else we named.'

'You don't know that Quinn, and I don't think they will.' Santana said, running the events back through her mind.

'Why wont they? They deserve it.' Quinn reminded her.

'I know that, but once Figgins hears their lies he wont know who to believe. They'll get suspended at best, back before the months out.' Quinn could hear the sadness in her voice as they walked on slowly.

'Santana you need to start being more positive.' Quinn suggested.

'Ugh, have you been talking to Berry?' Santana asked, remembering a similar conversation she had with the diva earlier in the day.

'No, why?' Quinn asked, confused.

'Nothing, I had sort of the same talk with her earlier, and I'm gonna tell you what I told her. I wont be positive. I wont get my hopes up when I know they'll be let down moments later. I couldn't deal with that.' Santana lifted her head from Quinn's shoulder, their hands still clasped together as they walked past the park. The brunette looked over the fence, away from her girlfriend so that she wouldn't see the tears in her eyes.

'So what, you're just going to be miserable all your life?'

'Yep. Sounds about right.' Santana confirmed, looking past the trees to the swing-set, three small children laughing happily as their parents watched from the nearest bench.

'What about me San? Aren't you happy with me?' Quinn asked, stopping and looking at the floor. Santana stopped with her, bringing her free hand around to lift Quinn's chin.

'Look at me Q.' Santana asked quietly, sad green eyes meeting her own that were already crying. 'The only time I'm happy, is when I'm with you. I wouldn't care if I lost everything else, as long as you were what I had left. Understand?' Quinn nodded, Santana smiling as a tear fell off her chin. 'It's just easier not to be happy too much. It's easier not to be open and loving, because what happens when everything we love is taken away from us? It fucking hurts.' She grinned, Quinn laughing as she brought Santana in for a hug.

'Can I ask you something?' Quinn spoke as they separated, looking directly into Santana's eyes.

'Anything.' The Latina replied.

'What would you do if I wasn't here any more?' Quinn saw the look of shock run through Santana's face, Quinn quickly re-wording her sentence. 'I don't mean I'm going anywhere, I just, I'm curious.' She kept Santana's hands in her own and pulled them up to her chest.

'Okay, erm..' Santana thought for a moment. 'Honestly?'

'Yeah, the truth. If I wasn't here.'

'Q, if you weren't here, I wouldn't want to be here.' Santana laughed. 'This place is full of too much shit, you know, and I..' She ran a hand through her hair, pulling out of Quinn's grasp. 'If you weren't with me, I wouldn't care any more. You are everything Q. Everything good in my life has come from you. And I think my heart would literally stop beating if you..' She stopped, wiping a tear from her face as Quinn pulled her into another bone crushing hug.

'Thank you Santana.' Quinn whispered from over her shoulder.

'What for?' She sniffed.

'For believing in me.' Quinn pulled away and smiled, both girls laughing. And they just stood there looking at each other.

'So, we should get a move on.' Santana broke the silence.

'Yeah, I think rain is coming.' Quinn looked up to the sky before they started laughing again, walking slightly quicker back to Santana's.

* * *

><p>By the time they arrived on the Latina's porch it was raining, not pouring down but wet enough that they would have to change when they got home. Now Quinn couldn't tell if Santana's shaking was from earlier or from the cold rain water. 'Where's you parents car?' Quinn asked, Santana fumbling in her bag for her keys.<p>

'Oh, I don't know. I'm sure we'll find out when we get in.' Santana informed her, a confused look flashing on the blonde's face.

'What do you mean San?' She asked, but the brunette had already pushed her way inside the house. Santana waited for Quinn to come in before closing the door, locking it with the key and putting three safety locks into place afterwards. How did Quinn not notice that before? The house was in complete darkness, not even the sound of the television was there to greet them this time. Santana walked through into the kitchen, flicking on every light as she went. Quinn knew she didn't like the dark that much but she actually put on every single light.

'When no one's home I always put all the lights on.' Santana told her, Quinn nodding as she learned something new about her girlfriend. They made it to the kitchen and put their bags on the counter, Santana moving to the back door. Quinn watched her curiously as she pulled on the handle. Locked. She then flipped a switch that set off lights in the garden and after a few moments of Santana's eyes searching the grass beyond the window, she flipped it back off again. She turned to face Quinn and shrugged. 'I do that every time I'm here alone, just to be sure.'

'But you're not alone anymore Santana.' Quinn reminded her.

'I know, but it's like a reaction. Dark house, no one in, I have to check.' Santana moved over to the fridge.

'Okay, maybe we can talk about it with Miss P tomorrow?'

'Yeah, maybe.' Santana said without looking up, her head leaning towards what little food was currently living on the shelves of her refrigerator. 'Do you want to just order pizza?'

'Are you going to eat any of it?' Quinn asked, Santana sighing.

'If it doesn't have loads of crap on it.' The brunette stated bluntly.

'Okay then, cheese pizza it is.' Quinn smiled, picking up the phone as Santana laughed, passing her the order menu.


	80. Chapter 80

**You Cannot Keep Saying You're Fine**

The pizza came about thirty minutes later, both girls sitting in the living room with the television on as they ate. Quinn was on her fourth slice, Santana struggling with her second and stopping to drink some water. It was only then Quinn remembered Santana's parents. 'San, your mum and dad, where are they?' She asked, the smaller girl returning to her pizza after she put down her water.

'Check the trash can, yellow paper on top.' Santana said, pointing to the small sliver bin by the island in the kitchen. Quinn quickly scrambled up and fished it out. It was screwed up. Santana must have seen it as soon as they walked into the kitchen and just gotten rid of it. Quinn opened the paper and read what it said; _Santana - Your mother and I are staying with your Aunt for a few days. We have some thinking to do. Love dad. _

'Santana, what the hell is this? They've just left?' Quinn came back over and sat down, Santana nodding and dropping her pizza back into the box.

'Yeah, well, it's what they always do. And they're not really at my Aunts, she lives in Mexico.' Santana laughed bitterly. 'They've just booked a hotel for a few days to get away from me.'

'They've done this before?' Quinn asked.

'Oh yeah, a few times. Usually when I do something they don't like. Like when I introduced them to Brittany for the first time and she said that pink flying unicorns were real.' Quinn shot her an odd look. 'They thought I was making stupid friends.' Santana clarified. 'Or the time they caught me and Puckerman with beer in the yard. Or the time I told them I was gay.' Santana looked up at Quinn.

'And now, they've left because of me.' Quinn thought out loud.

'Bingo.' Santana grinned. 'And when they say that they have some thinking to do, it's just mum trying to convince dad that I'm gong to hell, and dad trying to convince mum not to kick me out.'

'Your mum has thought about kicking you out before now?' Quinn sat with her legs crossed on the chair next to Santana.

'Yeah, about eight months ago, when I first told them I was, you know.' She lent on the side of her chair. 'Mum completely flipped out, I stayed at Brittany's for three days before dad said it was safe to come home.' She laughed.

'San, I'm sorry.' Quinn said, stroking her arm.

'It's cool, sometimes I prefer the quiet.' Santana looked up to the window. 'But night's like this one, cold and raining, I panic.' She admitted. 'I don't even know why really. It wasn't raining that night..' Quinn watched her eyes glaze over with misty tears. 'It's stupid.' She shook it off, smiling again as she pulled Quinn down into the chair next to her.

'It's not stupid San.' Quinn wrapped an arm under Santana's waist and hugged her tightly, letting her head rest on her chest. 'It's night time and you're a girl alone in a big house, you're entitled to be a bit freaked out. I used to be scared when my parents went out. I remember sitting in my bedroom with the door closed until I heard them come back, and even then I'd creep down the stairs to make sure it was really them.' She smiled down at Santana. 'See, it's not just you.'

'Thanks Q. It kind of helps knowing that you're a freak too.' Santana laughed, Quinn slapping her gently on the knee.

'Well, how about us freaks head up stairs?' Quinn suggested, Santana sitting up and raising her eyebrow. 'To sleep Santana! It's going to be a long day tomorrow.'

'Right, sleep. Because it's not like there are parents around to hear us doing something we're not supposed to.' Santana said sarcastically. But then she felt the full force of Quinn's lips on her own. Kissing passionately until they were out of breath. 'Okay.' Santana breathed, Quinn wiping her lips and grinning. 'So, bed time?'

'Yes, bed time.' Quinn laughed, pulling Santana up by the arm and turning off the television at the same time. She threw the remote down onto the nearest chair and then they were heading up the stairs.

* * *

><p>Santana let Quinn have the bathroom first. She could have used the bathroom in her parents room, but she was honestly afraid to be that far away from Quinn, so she waited. The blonde emerged about ten minutes later, her wet hair dripping freely over her shoulders. Santana walked right up to her and kissed her again, full on as her hands strayed up the blonde's back. 'Mmm, San.' Quinn broke the kiss.<p>

'What? What'd I do?' Santana looked confused as she took a step back.

'Nothing, you didn't do anything wrong, but today was a crappy day.' She smiled. 'I think we should save it for a better one.' Santana sighed.

'Fine.' Santana sulked. 'But it better be worth the wait.' She said as she walked into the bathroom.

'Oh it will be.' Quinn smirked over her shoulder, Santana sticking her tongue out at her like a child. She came out a few minutes later in pretty much the same outfit as Quinn, shorts and a shirt, and crawled into bed next to her. She wrapped an arm over Quinn's stomach and nuzzled deeply into her side, the blonde giggling and putting her arm under Santana's shoulders. 'I just got a text from Rachel, and one from Brittany, asking if we were okay.'

'Yeah, what did you say?' Santana asked, closing her eyes and listening to Quinn's voice.

'That we would be soon.' Quinn kissed Santana's forehead, feeling as the smaller girls breaths came quick and slow, she wasn't okay. Quinn felt as she clasped onto the other side of her shirt, Santana getting as close as she possibly could without being on top of the blonde. 'San?'

'Mmm.' She responded but barely.

'Are you okay?'

'I'm fine.' Santana said, settling into her position as she tried for sleep.

'Don't lie to me Santana.' Quinn said sadly. 'I know you're not.'

'If you know already why are you asking me?' Santana asked, Quinn sighing.

'I don't know why.' Quinn admitted. 'But you cannot keep saying you're fine.' Santana's eyes were open now, rolling onto her back and looking up at her girlfriend.

'What else am I supposed to do? What should I say? Because all of my other answers just make me feel like crap.' Santana smiled but Quinn saw through it.

'I'm sorry San, lets just go to sleep okay? We'll talk in the morning.' Santana nodded through the darkness, Quinn watching a slither of moonlight reflect off of her eyes as they closed. Tears. Santana didn't say another word as she hugged Quinn once more. Quinn waiting until she knew Santana was asleep to whisper; 'I love you.' And then she too drifted off.

* * *

><p>'Quuiiiiiinnnn!' Santana was screaming, loudly. Quinn awoke immediately and looked around the room even though the Latina was right beside her. Quinn looked down, Santana's body covered in a cold sweat, her arms pounding onto the mattress heavily.<p>

'Oh God, San?' Quinn had to shout over all the noise Santana was making, and she was actually thankful that her parents weren't here to see it.

'Quinn!' She screamed again. 'No! No!'

'Santana! Baby please wake up!' Quinn shook her shoulders, positioning herself so that she wouldn't get caught by a flying arm.

'Stop! Stop it!' Santana shouted, her eyes moving frantically under her eyelids. 'Get off!' She yelled, swatting her arms all around her. Quinn didn't know what to do. She had never seen Santana this animated during a nightmare, and her words were so clear, like what was happening was real. Well she guessed it was real in Santana's mind, now she just needed to wake her up and prove that it wasn't. She did the only thing she could think of, lying down beside the distraught Latina and wrapping her arm across her stomach. This trapped both of Santana's arms by her sides and Quinn just watched, and waited.


	81. Chapter 81

**Talking About Me Already?**

_Shit, shit, shit! _Quinn thought as she woke up. She had fallen asleep. Somehow and at some point during the night she had managed to drift off. The thing that worried her the most was that Santana was no where to be seen. 'Santana?' She called, lifting herself off of the bed and making her way across the room. The door was slightly ajar so she stepped out into the cold hallway. She yawned and rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she went down the stairs. 'San?' She called again, but there was still no response. She turned the corner after the bottom step and headed for the kitchen. If she knew Santana, and she did, the girl would go for the coffee as soon as she was up. And just as Quinn suspected, Santana was standing in front of the sink, looking out over her back garden, with a cup of black coffee between her palms. Quinn watched her arms shake as she lifted the mug to her mouth, taking a small sip before putting it down on the counter. 'Santana?' Quinn said gently, the brunette spinning around at the sound of her voice.

'Shit Q!' She breathed, pressing her back against the counter and running a hand through her hair.

'Sorry, I woke up and you'd gone.' Quinn informed her.

'Oh yeah, sorry about that.' Santana looked at the floor. 'I panicked when I snapped out of it, finally remembered where I was and I saw you. You were so tired so I just left you.'

'Thanks, I guess.' Quinn laughed, Santana smiling as she offered her a cup.

'Coffee?'

'No thanks.' Quinn declined, sitting on one of the stools around the island as she watched her girlfriend. 'What time is it?'

'A little before five.' Santana informed her.

'Really?' Quinn groaned. 'How long have you been up?'

'Since, about two. Half two maybe.' Santana thought back.

'And how many cups of coffee have you had?' Quinn looked at her worriedly.

'Three.' Santana informed her. 'Not including this one.' She added, Quinn shaking her head. 'What?'

'Too much caffeine is bad for you San.'

'I know, but it keeps me awake.' Quinn was still looking at her accusingly so Santana rolled her eyes and poured the remainder of her cup down the sink. 'Happy?' She asked sarcastically.

'Yes.' Quinn smiled. 'Now tell me what happened? I've never seen you that bad.' Santana walked over to the island and lent over it, reaching out her hand to Quinn and then leaning on her elbows.

'I think Karofsky, and Ricky made it worse.' Santana closed her eyes as her body worked through another shiver. 'It was exactly the same but it was them, their faces. I cant get them out of my head.'

'Okay.' Quinn picked up Santana's hand and kissed it. 'Since we're up, why don't we go for a run? Clear our heads and get ready for today.'

'Sounds like a plan to me.' Santana grinned, although she didn't know how far she would be funning, she would at least give it a shot.

* * *

><p>Running did not work. They made it about two blocks and Santana started to feel sick. She had far too much coffee in her and not enough food, the lack of sleep probably not helping her focus. 'Quinn..' She breathed, leaning on a nearby tree to catch her breath. 'Q, this is useless.'<p>

'No it's not, come on.' Quinn argued, trying to pull the Latina along beside her.

'Quinn I'm serious, I'm gonna hurl.' Santana said, leaning her head over behind the tree and choking something up.

'Shit San.' Quinn looked away slightly before stepping up behind her and rubbing her back. 'It's okay.' Quinn whispered, still rubbing comforting circles with her hands. Santana stood up moments later and put a hand on her forehead, inhaling deeply. 'Better?' Quinn asked.

'A little, yeah.' Santana managed a smile. 'Most of it was the coffee I had this morning.'

'Yeah, I got that.' Quinn said, knowing that there was nothing else inside the small brunette to throw up. 'Do you want to keep going?'

'Do I have to?' Santana asked grinning, and the look from Quinn said it all. 'Okay then.' She turned and began a slow jog, Quinn catching up with her easily. They ran like this side by side for a few minutes until they bumped into some people they knew. Santana almost colliding face first with Blaine as she ran around a corner without looking.

'Woah, Santana!' Blaine jumped out of the way, managing to keep the hot liquid he was holding from spilling out of it's cup.

'Shit, sorry.' Santana stopped, turning around as Quinn slowed in front of them.

'Kurt, Blaine, what are you guys doing out this early?' Quinn asked, catching her breath.

'We're out for a morning stroll and some coffee.' He held up his cup.

'Stroll?' Santana questioned. 'Who goes out strolling any more?'

'We do.' Kurt said happily, grinning at Blaine.

'Okay, but why are you strolling in my neck of the woods?' The Latina asked curiously, Quinn wondering the same thing now that she'd said it.

'Erm, actually.' Blaine started. 'We were on our way to your house. To see you.'

'Why?' Santana asked.

'Just to talk.' Kurt informed them. 'See how you both were.'

'Oh, well I guess that'd be okay. Do you want to..' Santana motioned in the direction back to her house.

'Yeah, that would be great, if we're not interrupting your morning jog.' Blaine said politely.

'Nope, all done.' Santana grinned, thankful that she now had a good excuse to stop running.

'Santana just doesn't want to run any more.' Quinn informed the guys. 'She just chucked her cookies behind that tree.'

'Nice visual Quinn.' Kurt said, an unhappy look on his face as Blaine chuckled.

'Yeah, very funny.' Santana said sarcastically. 'Now lets go because I need a shower.'

* * *

><p>They stepped through the door to Santana's home, the Latina bounding up the stairs and calling back over her shoulder. 'I'll be five minutes, Quinn knows where the kitchen is.' And then she was gone. Quinn let a small smile appear on her face as she turned to the guys.<p>

'Come on, she means help yourself, if you want a drink or anything.'

'Right, I think we're good at the moment.' Kurt replied for both of them, Blaine nodding in agreement. Quinn pulled out two of the tall island chairs for them to sit on and hang their coats on, both boys smiling at her gratefully as they watched her do the same on the other side.

'So.' Blaine started once they were all comfortable. 'How is everything?' Quinn sighed.

'Not great.' She smiled weakly, running a hand through her hair as she released it from it's hair band.

'Did she have another nightmare? Is that why you guys were up so early?' Kurt asked.

'Yeah, Santana was up at around two o'clock, I was up at five.' Quinn lent on her elbows, looking at them with sad eyes. 'She just cant seem to sleep without remembering.'

'Well I'm sure Karofsky didn't help the other day, how are you by the way?' Blaine asked.

'Oh, I'm fine. Just a bit of a sore wrist. Santana has a massive bruise on her elbow where she fell, and her shaking has become much worse.'

'We noticed that actually, when she almost ran into Blaine.' Kurt smiled.

'Yeah, and I have no idea how to stop it.' Quinn wiped a tear from her cheek just as Santana came through the door.

'Talking about me already?' She grinned, walking over to put a kiss on Quinn's lips.

'You know not everything is about you San.' Quinn joked, Santana sitting beside her and wrapping her arms around her stomach, leaning her head on her shoulder.

'Oh I know.' She smiled.

'Wow Quinn, you've turned Santana into something… cute.' Kurt pulled a disgusted face, everyone else laughing at him.

'But anyway.' Blaine interjected the laughter. 'Truthfully Santana, how close do you think you are to being over this?' Santana's face saddened and she pulled away from Quinn. She had changed into a pair of skinny jeans and a baggy jumper that cut off one shoulder, her hair wet again from being washed.

'Honestly, I don't think I'll ever be over it. I think it will get better.' She smiled at Quinn. 'But it will never be gone. It will always be in the back of my head somewhere.'

'I still don't know why you didn't just tell us Santana, we could have helped.' Kurt held out his hand to her and she tentatively took it, Kurt squeezing it gently but this made her flinch back.

'Sorry, it wasn't you guys' problem, I thought I could handle it.'

'Well we're all here for you now Santana, so tell us if you need anything.' Blaine smiled. 'You too Quinn, Kurt and I know exactly what you two are going through. Not all of it, but enough. So come talk to us.'

'Okay, thanks guys.' Quinn grinned.

'Promise?'

'Yes Kurt we promise, now get you're porcelain ass out of my house.' Santana joked, Kurt and Blaine laughing as they walked back out of the door.

'So, what now?' Quinn asked, walking back upstairs with her hand in Santana's.

'Only an hour until school, do you want to go back to sleep?' Santana asked.

'I kind of do actually, is that okay?'

'Of course it is, I actually wanted to plan a song to do in glee.' Quinn smiled.

'Goodnight then babe, make it good.' Santana leaned in to kiss her, Quinn grinning as she crawled back into Santana's bed, setting her alarm clock for forty minutes later. Her head hit the pillow and she was out.


	82. Chapter 82

**Timing Is Everything**

They walked into school hand in hand, the bell ringing almost immediately as they stepped into the building. Quinn turned to face Santana putting two hands on her shoulders. 'Now, remember my phone is always on and in my pocket. You can even text me if you're just board.' Santana laughed. 'And I'll meet you in the choir room after second period, okay?'

'Yeah, got it.' Santana smiled.

'Good, I love you.' Quinn grinned, pressing a gentle kiss onto Santana's lips before bouncing off down the hall.

'Love you too.' Santana shouted, turning and laughing to herself as she made her way down the hall. She was met by staring faces as she walked into chemistry, ignoring everyone as she moved to sit next to Rachel at the back of the room.

'Hey, everything okay? I didn't think you'd be in today.' Rachel said as the Latina took her seat.

'Everything's cool Rach, we've just had a lively morning, that's all.'

'Okay, as long as you guys are alright.' Rachel smiled, Santana returning the favour as she opened her text book. 'How's the elbow?' Rachel asked, noticing the darkening bruise down her arm.

'Sore.' Santana informed her. 'I didn't really feel anything until this morning but it's just a bruise, it'll heal.'

'That's good.' Rachel smiled at the taller girl, both of them looking at each other in silence when the sound of their principle cut through it.

_'Attention students, faculty. This is your principle speaking. Would the following students please come to my office at once. Mr David Karofsky, Mr Richard Whyle, Miss Casey Sanders…..'_ He went on to list all of the other guys involved in the hallway incident, Santana clenching her fists on top of the desk as each of their names were listed. She inhaled and exhaled calmly, Rachel noticing this and covering Santana's hands with her own. Santana looked to Rachel, shocked as if she had forgotten she was there.

'Just relax.' Rachel whispered. 'They're going to get what they deserve, okay?' Santana nodded, relaxing her hands and smiling over at the smaller girl.

'Thanks.' Santana said gratefully.

'You're welcome.' Rachel grinned. 'Now lets get your mind off of those idiots and focus on learning things.'

'Yeah.' Santana laughed. 'I think that's a good idea.'

* * *

><p>Glee couldn't come fast enough for Santana. She went to English with Rachel for second period and then both girls hurried to the choir room for glee. Quinn was already there, relief washing over her face when she was her girlfriend. She walked up to her and kissed her, ignoring Puck's comments and whistles before leading her over to their seats. Santana sat next to Brittany, Quinn on her other side followed by Rachel. Their teacher then walked hastily into the room. 'Hey guys.' He greeted them as he placed his bag and coat on a spare chair in the corner of the room.<p>

'Mr Schu.' He looked up to Quinn. 'Have you heard anything, about, you know.' She was referring to everyone in Figgins' office.

'No, I haven't. But I'm sure we'll know soon enough.' He smiled at them comfortingly. 'But right now I want to get on with the lesson.'

'What's the theme this week Mr Schu? Please not love songs.' Finn begged, Mr Schu laughing as he stepped into the middle of the room.

'No, not love songs.' Finn let out a sigh of relief. 'I want us to try something a little different. I know, as we all do, that the past few weeks have been rough. Quinn and Santana especially have had to face things that they're afraid of, and have had to fight their way through it. So, I want you guys to pick songs that express overcoming difficulties. Maybe not ones you've faced yourselves, but I want the songs to mean something.' He rubbed his head and thought how best to explain it, seeing the slightly confused looks on some of their faces. 'Songs that inspire people. Songs that make people achieve great things and stand up for what they believe in.'

'Got it Mr Schu.' Rachel confirmed.

'Great, everyone else know what I mean?'

'Yeah, I think we do Mr Schu.' Blaine confirmed. Kurt and some of the other kids nodding in agreement.

'Great, now as for today…' He stopped, noticing Santana's arm in the air. 'Santana.'

'I have a song to do now, if that's okay?'

'Of course. Come on up.' He smiled, moving to sit the other side of Artie, as Santana took the floor.

'So, I don't know how this fits in with the new assignment Mr Schu, if it even does, but I just really wanted to sing it.'

'That's fine Santana.' Mr Schu assured her, and then she walked over to Brad and told him what the song was. He smiled and began to play as she walked back to her position in front of everyone.

_When the stars line up,  
>And you catch a good break,<br>And people think your lucky,  
>But you know it's can happen so fast,<br>Or a little bit late.  
>Timing is everything.<em>

Everyone watched silently, noticing how the Latina held her hands at her sides, fists occasionally forming out of her hands. Quinn could see the shaking more than anyone else because she knew it was there, constant, but she could see how hard Santana was trying to shake it off. The words of the song were somehow helping her get through it.

_You know I've had close calls,  
>When it could have been me.<br>I was young when I learned just,  
>How fragile life could be.<br>I lost friends of mine,  
>I guess it wasn't my time.<br>Timing__ is everything._

_And I could have been a child that got took home.  
>I would have been one more unfinished song.<br>And when it seems a rhyme is hard to find,  
>That's when one comes along,<br>Just in time._

Santana looked directly at Quinn, smiling as she sang to her, the blonde knowing exactly what the song meant to Santana.

_And I could have been another minute late,  
>And you never would have crossed my path that day,<br>And when it seems true love is hard to find,  
>That's when love comes in time.<em>

_Well you can call it fate.  
>Or destiny.<br>Sometimes __it really seems like,  
>It's a mystery.<br>Yeah you can be hurt by love,  
>Or healed by the same.<br>Timing is everything._

_And it can happen so fast,  
>Or a little bit late.<br>Timing is everything._

The piano and guitar faded, leaving Santana standing alone in the middle of the silent room until applause broke through it. She smiled and exhaled at the same time, like a small weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She knew it wasn't enough though. She still had so much work to do before she would be better, but it was a start. She moved back to take her seat by Quinn, the blonde immediately grabbing her hand and planting a kiss on her cheek. 'That was really nice San.' She whispered, their teacher taking the floor once more and continuing the lesson.

'Thanks.' Santana blushed, looking down at her hands entangled with Quinn's. 'And I'm starting to think that talking to Miss P might be a good idea.' Santana grinned.

'Really?' Quinn's eyes lit up, Santana was actually looking forward to talking to someone, to letting someone try and help fix her.

'Yeah, It'd be nice not to be so afraid all of the time.' Santana let out a small laugh, Quinn nodding and gripping her hand tighter.

'I know. It'll be better soon.' Quinn assured her.


	83. Chapter 83

**I'm Back! Sorry it took so long to update but i had no inspiration! I want to thank ...Voice forgiving me some!**

**And thanks for being patient Ellen1996!**

**I promise the next chapters will be longer!**

* * *

><p><strong>What Do You Want To Talk About?<strong>

'Are you ready?' Quinn asked, leaning against the wall around the corner from the choir room, Santana leaning up against her.

'As ready as I was when you asked five minutes ago.' Santana replied, not lifting her head from the blonde's shoulder.

'Okay, so why haven't we moved?' Quinn shrugged her shoulder to get more of Santana's attention, the Latina finally looking up at her and leaning her head onto the wall.

'I'm pacing myself.' She grinned, Quinn shaking her head and smiling at her.

'Come on San, we have to go in sooner or later.' Quinn reminded her, turning to lean on her shoulder and to face the smaller girl.

'I know, I'd just rather it was later.' Santana replied honestly, Quinn giving her a sad smile until she pulled herself and her girlfriend from the wall.

'Come on, I promise everything will be okay, and I'll be right there with you.'

'Okay, yeah.' Santana sighed, allowing Quinn to pull her along. 'Why not…' She whispered sarcastically to herself, dreading the conversation that awaits them on the other side of their guidance councillor's door. Quinn knocked, Santana still clinging to her hand from behind her.

'Come in.' They heard politely form the other side of the door. Quinn turned the handle and gently pushed it open, taking a few steps inside followed by Santana. Their red headed councillor was sitting with her nose in a file, presumably a students, but she snapped it closed as she saw them enter. 'Girls.' She said cheerfully. 'What can I do for you today?'

'Erm, we were wondering if you had some time, to talk.' Quinn asked, Santana still holding on behind her.

'Sure, of course.' She stood up and motioned for them to take the seats in front of her, Quinn dragging Santana with her as they both sat down. Quinn crossed her left leg over her right while Santana pulled both her knees up to her chest, hugging them like her life depended on it. 'So..' Miss Pillsbury cleared her throat and began. 'What would you like to talk about?' Quinn looked over at Santana, her eyes seemed to have lost focus as she stared towards the floor.

'We have a lot of things we need to talk about Miss Pillsbury.' Quinn smiled sadly.

'Okay then, Quinn why don't you start.' Miss Pillsbury too noticed the distant look in the Latina's eyes. 'Tell me about your father?'

'Oh, erm, he's a jackass.' Quinn stated bluntly.

'Alright, would you explain why? I know it may be obvious but sometimes just talking about things in our lives that aren't working can help us.' She smiled gently at the blonde, Santana's eyes still down as she played with the lace of her shoe.

'He doesn't accept me, accept us.' She looked to Santana, her girlfriend's eyes shifting to look into Quinn's. 'He thinks it's wrong and that I need to be fixed.'

'Do you believe that?' Emma asked, Quinn looking at her rather disgustedly.

'Of course not.' Quinn said firmly. 'I love San and she loves me.'

'Good, but what about if your father comes to you and asks you to come home?'

'If it's without Santana then he can go to hell.'

'And what about if he wanted the opportunity to get to know you, the real you, and Santana as well?' Quinn was caught off guard by that one. No way did she think her dad would ever want to try and accept this. 'Think about it Quinn, tell me in our next session.'

'Next session?' The blonde asked.

'Yes.' Miss Pillsbury casually re-aligned her calculator with her stapler, Quinn watching her curiously. 'I definitely want to see you girls on a regular basis, maybe twice a week, because I can see we have several issues to discuss.' Quinn nodded, the councillor then turning her attention to the Latina. 'Santana.' She didn't respond. 'Santana, look at me.' She gingerly lifted her head and looked at her teacher. 'That's good.' Emma smiled. 'Now would you like to talk about what it is that's bothering you?' Santana snorted, running a hand through her hair as a smile broke out on her face. 'What's so funny?'

'Nothing Miss P.' Quinn answered. 'She just thinks it doesn't hurt if she laughs at it.'

'I'm sorry, laughs at what?' Emma was very confused, but Quinn seemed to know what was going on with the smaller girl.

'Everything.' Quinn replied gently. 'Everything hurts her.' Santana's smile faded, looking Emma right in the eyes.

'Is that true Santana? Do you think everything hurts?'

'Some of the time.' She whispered, hugging her legs tighter.

'Okay then, why don't we talk about when it doesn't hurt?' Miss Pillsbury suggested.

'It doesn't hurt, the only time it doesn't hurt, is when I'm with Quinn.' Santana admitted. 'I would be more than happy to forget everything about my life except her.'

'What about Brittany? She's your best friend.'

'She is. But she has wheels, and her dancing. She doesn't need me any more and I'm not gonna let her waste her life looking after poor, broken Santana.' She laughed again, shaking her head.

'So you don't think Quinn is doing exactly that?' Emma asked, getting a death glare from both girls. Luckily Santana replied before Quinn could loose her temper.

'Miss P, Quinn has made it perfectly clear that she isn't going anywhere.' Santana smiled. 'Believe me, I've tried to tell her to jump ship, she wasn't interested.' Quinn smirked at her, Santana lowering her legs and planting her feet on the floor. Maybe talking was going to help.

'Alright then.' Emma smiled. 'So how's school going?'

'How's school going? That's what we're going to talk about?' Santana asked sceptically.

'At first, yeah. I want you to become comfortable in this room, with me, and then we can move on. We'll take it one step at a time.' Santana smiled, Quinn nodding in agreement as they started to chat. They talked about their day and what classes they liked or didn't like, what work they needed to catch up on and what activities they were interested in outside of glee club. Quinn noticed how relaxed Santana was by the end of the session and she loved it. She knew this would be a good idea, for Santana to get everything out in a safe environment. 'Okay, time is up for today guys, can I schedule you in for another appointment?'

'How about Thursday?' Santana suggested.

'Perfect.' Emma smiled. 'Come right here after school and you can use tomorrow to have a think about what you'd like to talk about then.'

'Cool, thanks Miss P.' Santana said, taking Quinn's hand as they left the room.

'There. That wasn't so bad was it?' Quinn grinned proudly.

'I know, I know. You were right.' Santana smiled, stopping and turning Quinn to face her. 'Thank you.'

'Sure.' Quinn smiled, nodding slightly as she lent in for a kiss. 'Now lets go back to yours and try and sleep for more than four hours.'

'Sounds like a good plan.' Santana laughed, leaning her head on Quinn's shoulder as they walked out of the building.


	84. Chapter 84

**Here's another chapter... let me know what you think!**

* * *

><p><strong>I Hate To Ask…<strong>

Quinn and Santana were walking out of the school building, through the parking lot and heading towards Santana's house, when they were met by the scowling face of cheerio Casey. She walked out from behind a wall as the girls tried to pass. 'You just had to do it didn't you?' She scowled, walking in front of them and blocking their path. 'You stupid bitch.' She glared at Santana but Quinn was quick to pull the smaller girl behind her.

'You need to get lost Casey.' The blonde said confidently.

'No, I really can't do that.' She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked both girls up and down. 'So you know what Figgins did?' She asked, Quinn shaking her head. 'He suspended us, all of us, Dave,

Ricky, the other guys, and me. Because of you.'

'Good.' Quinn spat back. 'You're just lucky you didn't get expelled completely.'

'That's not the point you dyke.' Casey stepped up to Quinn, the blonde tilting her chin up and keeping eye contact. 'By the time I get back I'll have missed too much work. I'm not going to graduate.'

'Sucks for you bitch, move.' Quinn tried to push past her, holding on to Santana tightly.

'It might suck for me, but I'm going to make damn sure it sucks for you as well.' Casey called after them, Quinn walking away quicker with Santana still firmly in her grasp. A few minutes later, when they were sure Casey wasn't following them, Santana let go of Quinn's hand causing the taller girl to look over at her.

* * *

><p>'You okay San?' She asked, concern flashing through her eyes.<p>

'Yeah.' Santana smiled. 'That was….'

'Scary.' Quinn finished for her.

'No, well yeah Casey's a complete psycho, but I was going to say…. hot.' She grinned, Quinn looking more confused than anything now.

'Hot?' She asked, Santana linking her arm through Quinn's as they kept walking.

'Yeah, I mean, the way you stood up for me. The way you spoke to her was so confident and really sexy.' Santana kissed Quinn's shoulder and smiled up at her. 'Thank you.'

'You're welcome. But for the record, I was completely scared, the entire time.' She laughed, Santana snuggling in closer.

'Well it didn't show.' Santana assured her, Quinn smiling as she looked back up to where they were walking. They had reached Santana's street, and Quinn noticed a car that had been missing for a few days. 'Erm, San.' She motioned for the other girl to look up.

'Shit.' Santana whispered. 'They usually take longer than that.'

'What does that mean?' Quinn asked.

'I don't know, but I'm pretty sure nothing good is going to happen when we walk through that door.' Santana tried to joke, Quinn giving her another worried look. 'Come on.' The brunette said, walking up to her house.

* * *

><p>Santana put her key in the lock and opened the front door, being quieter than normal as she walked through the house with Quinn at her back. 'Mum? Dad?' She called. There was no reply but as she walked into the kitchen she saw her mother sitting around the island in the kitchen. 'Hey mum.' Santana smiled gingerly.<p>

'Santana.' Mrs Lopez replied.

'Where's dad?' The brunette asked. Now it was Quinn's turn to stand behind her girlfriend, watching the conversation unfold.

'Your father is visiting your grandparents, in Mexico.' Maria informed the girls.

'Why? I mean, why aren't you with him?' Santana gripped Quinn's hand, the blonde moving her left around Santana's waist.

'We had a disagreement. He's going to stay there indefinitely.'

'What?' Santana said, gritting her teeth because she knew what this so called disagreement was about.

'He will not be home any time soon Santana.' Mrs Lopez stood up. 'I hope you're happy.'

'Hold up.' Santana stepped further into the room, leaving Quinn's touch behind her. 'You're blaming me for this?'

'Well who else am I going to blame?' She asked, as if there was only one person who could be at fault for it.

'Oh I don't know, how about you mum? Do you not think that this is your fault?'

'Santana, I'm sorry but all of this, mess, is because of you. Why couldn't you just be normal?' Mrs Lopez shouted, Santana stepping back towards Quinn at the outburst. 'Why couldn't you meet a nice Mexican boy, get married and raise a beautiful family?'

'Are you serious?' Quinn stepped in, Mrs Lopez shooting her a dirty look.

'Stay out of this Quinn. I can put as much fault on you as I can my daughter. You both need to learn what is right.'

'Mum shut up!' Santana yelled, Quinn looking at the shocked expression on Maria's face. 'I already have a beautiful family. Quinn is my family, the glee club are my family.' Santana smiled. 'And I wouldn't change that.'

'Now you're just being ridiculous Santana. That isn't a family. And I have some news for you.' Maria stepped up to her daughter, Santana clenching her fists by her sides. 'I will allow you under this roof until you are eighteen. After that, you're out. I will not stand for this any more.' And with that she walked away, up the stairs and out of sight. Santana hadn't moved so Quinn gently placed a hand on her shoulder.

'San?' She said gently, the brunette not speaking but turning around. Quinn saw the sadness in her eyes.

'My dad isn't coming back.' She said gently, trying to smile but it was washed out with tears. Quinn pulled Santana into her arms and held her securely, felling the sobs as they rocked through her small frame.

'Shhh, San, it's okay. It's all going to be okay.' Quinn reassured her, although she was trying her best not to burst into tears as well. A few moments later Santana had managed to make the sobbing die down, her body only tensing up occasionally. She wiped her eyes as she stepped away from Quinn.

'I need to…. I can't….' She tried to speak but she was too frantic, too panicked to make sentences.

'Santana just calm down okay.' Quinn stroked the side of her face, placing a gentle kiss on her lips and then watching Santana try to even out her breathing. 'What were you going to say?'

'I can't… be here…. I need to get out….. She..' Santana sobbed again, her hands moving up to cover her eyes but Quinn grabbed her wrists before they could make contact.

'I know, okay.' She looked into Santana's eyes. 'Go upstairs and pack some clothes for us and whatever else we might need tonight. I'm going to sort something out.' Santana nodded. 'Okay?'

'Yeah… okay.' Santana said, Quinn releasing her so that she could go up to their room. Quinn exhaled loudly, pulling her phone out of her bag and dialling.

'Hello?' They answered on the third ring.

'Hey, it's Quinn. Look I hate to ask but we really need your help.' She said, her voice cracking as she did so.

'Of course, anything.' The voice replied. 'Do you need us to come get you?'

'Please.' Quinn begged, hanging up the phone after the arrangements had been made. A few moments later Santana came back down with an old duffle bad over her shoulder. She had stopped crying but her eyes were red, her cheeks were puffy and she looked exhausted. 'Come on San.' Quinn grabbed her hand and their jackets from the hall, leading her out of the house and to the end of her drive.


	85. Chapter 85

**Don't You Dare Think That**

About ten minutes later a car pulled up at the end of the drive, Quinn pulling Santana up from their seated position on the curb and towards the vehicle. Before they could reach the car two figures stepped out and they were met with the sympathetic faces of Blaine and Kurt. 'Hey.' Kurt said gently, pulling them both into a hug.

'Hey guys, thanks for doing this.' Quinn said gratefully.

'No problem.' Blaine smiled. 'Are you guys okay?' He looked over Santana who was looking down to the floor.

'No, not really.' Quinn looked back at her too, then turning to face the guys. 'Can you just get us out of here? We'll tell you later okay?'

'Of course, I'll take this Santana.' Blaine took the bag from over her shoulder, Santana giving him a weak smile in return and then letting Quinn lead her to the car. Kurt got in the drivers seat with Blaine next to him, Santana and Quinn in the back. The brunette crawled over to Quinn and hugged her tightly around the waist, Quinn planting a kiss on her head as Kurt drove off.

They went back to Kurt's house, Blaine was staying over, and briefly said hello to a confused Finn when they walked past the living room. Kurt took them up to his bedroom and they were confused by what they saw. 'Did you know we were coming, or what?' Quinn smiled, looking around the room at the already blown up mattress, the stack of girly dvds, and the bags of sweets and soft drinks.

'While we were in the car I had Blaine text Carole.' Kurt smiled proudly.

'Well, remind us to thank her when we see her.' Quinn smiled back at him.

'So, who would like a drink? Santana?' Kurt skipped over to the diet coke and opened the top.

'Yeah, thanks.' She smiled sadly, crossing her legs as she sat down on the blow up. Kurt shot Blaine a look, the boy understanding as he knelt down to put a comforting hand around her shoulders. However as soon as contact was made, she flinched, pushing herself back and away from him until her back hit the end of Kurt's bed.

'Woah, Santana. I'm sorry.' Blaine stood up quickly and moved away from her, Quinn taking his place closest to the brunette.

'No don't be sorry, I'm… it's not you..' She plastered a fake smile on her face and allowed Quinn to take over.

'It's been a tough day.' She informed them, sitting next to her girlfriend and allowing Santana to lay her head on her lap.

'Do you guys wanna talk about it?' Blaine asked, sitting opposite them. He was closely followed by Kurt who handed out drinks, Quinn putting Santana's on the floor beside her.

'Where do we start?' Quinn asked sarcastically, Santana smiling up at her. 'Well, we talked to Miss P and it went really well. We're gonna see her on a regular basis and try and work through everything.'

'That's great.' Kurt smiled, taking a sip of his drink as he watched Quinn's face fall.

'That's about the only great thing that happened today.' Quinn stroked Santana's hair as she felt her girlfriend grip tightly around her legs.

'We ran into Casey on the way out of school.' Quinn informed them.

'Oh God, really?' Blaine asked, Quinn nodding. 'We heard they all got suspended.'

'They did. And Casey made it perfectly clear that we were going to pay for it.' Quinn ran her free hand through her hair and then picked up her drink, sipping it slowly.

'We're really sorry.' Kurt said. 'But you know the glee club has your backs.'

'Yeah thanks guys, but that's not even the worst thing that happened today.' Quinn said, setting her drink back down as Santana sat up. She lent against the bed with her eyes closed. 'We got home, back to Santana's, and her mum was home but her dad wasn't.'

'Why not?' Blaine asked, opening a bag of candy and pouring it into a bowl.

'Because he's in Mexico with family.' Santana finally spoke. 'And he's not coming back.'

'Hey, you don't know that.' Blaine tried to reassure her.

'No it's okay, I do. And mum has finally laid down the law.' Santana laughed, picking up her cup and taking a drink.

'What do you mean?' Kurt asked, watching as Santana's hand shook around the glass.

'She means that her mother has given her until she's eighteen. After that, if she hasn't gotten herself together, she's not welcome in her house.'

'No way, she can't….' Kurt looked at them shocked. 'Why didn't your dad do anything about it?'

'He's sick of her shit. Gotten out whilst he has the chance. Can't blame him really.' Santana shrugged.

'Santana, he's your dad. He's supposed to protect you.' Blaine said.

'That doesn't mean anything.' Santana shook her head. 'Look at what Quinn's dad did to her.'

'She has a point.' Quinn took Santana's glass from her as the shaking became worse, her fists clenching tighter. 'Calm down.' Quinn whispered, planting a kiss on her cheek. Santana nodded as Kurt spoke again.

'What do you mean by if she hasn't gotten herself together?' He asked.

'Oh I don't know, by not being gay?' Quinn said sarcastically.

'Basically, I need a Mexican guy and Mexican babies by the time I'm eighteen.' Santana laughed.

'Right, you're eighteen in less than nine months so I can see a few problems there.' Blaine joined in the joke, Santana smiling at him.

'Well, that's not going to happen.' Santana took Quinn's hand and kissed it, both boys smiling. 'I'll live on the street before I change for that crazy bitch.'

'Good to know.' Quinn smiled. 'Anyway..' She turned back to the guys. 'I know it's early, but would it be okay if we just went to bed?'

'Yeah, that's fine Quinn. Blaine and I can go pester Finn. Give you two some privacy.' Kurt winked, standing up and hauling Blaine with him. 'Oh and if you do decide to start making out, please hang something on the door so we know to stay out.'

'Kurt!' Quinn laughed, throwing a pillow at them but only managing to hit the door as it closed. She looked over to Santana who was grinning at her.

'Shall we hang something on the door?' Santana asked, walking her hand up Quinn's arm.

'Santana, go and get changed.' Quinn smiled, motioning to the bathroom attached to Kurt's room.

'Fine.' Santana sulked, taking a top and a pair of shorts out of the duffle bag. She left Quinn alone to get changed in the bedroom, and within three minutes both girls were back on the blow up mattress, lying side by side.

'You okay San?' Quinn asked, the silence too much for her to handle.

'Yeah.' Santana replied unconvincingly.

'Okay, remember what I said about lying?' Quinn propped herself up on her elbow, looking down over the Latina.

'I know.' Santana sighed. 'You know how I'm feeling Q.'

'Yeah, but I want you to talk to me about it.' Quinn lent in to kiss her, pressing their lips together. She pulled away a few moments later, Santana smiling up at her.

'I feel like, I'm in a dream. Like none of this is real, and that I'm just going to wake up.'

'But if you wake up, we wouldn't be here.' Quinn reminded her.

'I know. Which is why I don't want to wake up.' Santana smiled. 'You know, I don't know what I did to deserve you Quinn.'

'Right back at you San.' Quinn said seriously, leaning in once more for a longer kiss.

'Yeah right.' Santana replied, not believing the blonde. 'I know this shouldn't be happening, I'm not even close to being in your league.' Santana turned her head to the side and Quinn saw a tear roll down her cheek.

'San, look at me.' Quinn put her hand against the side of Santana's face, turning her back to face the ceiling. 'I love you, so much. Don't think for one second that you're not good enough. For anyone, not just me. Don't you dare think that.'

'Thanks Q.' Santana said, sniffing and wiping one more tear from her face.

'Sure, now lets try and get some sleep.' She kissed Santana one final time and then settled down into her side, wrapping one arm over her waist.


	86. Chapter 86

**This Might Sting A Little…**

She knew it, as soon as she woke up she knew the reason why. Santana was no longer by her side. 'San?' Quinn whispered, looking behind her at the sleeping figures of Kurt and Blaine, not knowing when they had come up. 'Santana?' She whispered again, but then she heard a small whimpering coming from the corner of the room. Quinn crawled towards the noise, flipping on the table lamp furthest away from the boys so not to wake them. 'San.' Quinn crawled up to her, sleep still fresh in her eyes but she could see Santana was crying. She reached out to put a hand on Santana's knee but it was like the smaller girl didn't recognise her. She let out another small cry and tried to back herself further into the wall. 'Santana it's me, it's Quinn.' The blonde tried to tell her, but she wasn't listening. Quinn looked her over, noticing one hand covering her stomach, but it was under her shirt. 'Santana what happened?' Quinn asked nervously.

'No…. no….. I didn't….' She sobbed. 'I didn't…. mean to I….. wanted…. Over!' Santana screamed. 'I need it to be over.' Her voice softened, her tear filled eyes looking into Quinn's and now the blonde understood.

'Oh San, you didn't.' She pleaded, moving in and holding Santana's wrist. She tried to gently pry it away from her stomach but Santana was stronger than she looked. 'Santana show me.' She whispered, feeling Santana relax. Quinn was able to pull Santana's hand away from her stomach, revealing blood. 'San..' Quinn stared at the wound, one thin cut just above her hip. She looked up into deep brown eyes as tears fell from her own.

'I'm sorry.' Santana cried. 'I'm so fucking sorry.' She threw herself into Quinn's arms, the blonde not caring that blood was now being smeared across her white pyjama top, and held onto her tightly.

'Quinn? Santana?' They heard from across the room. It was Blaine, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. 'What's going on?' He asked sleepily.

'Blaine, do you know where a first aid kit would be?' Quinn asked.

'Erm, I don't know. Hang on.' He said, rolling over to wake Kurt.

'Kurt, wake up…' He rubbed his shoulder and the other boy groaned.

'Blaine, this better be good.' He mumbled without opening his eyes.

'Do you have a first aid kit anywhere?' Blaine asked, this making Kurt's eyes shoot open.

'What? Why?' He asked, both guys looking down to the girls on the floor. Santana was still crying into Quinn's chest so the couldn't see her injury yet.

'Please Kurt, I need a first aid kit.' Quinn said, Kurt nodding and getting out of bed. He left the room and returned a few moments later carrying a small green bag.

'Here.' He said, handing it to Quinn who smiled at him and then sitting back on the bed next to Blaine, taking his hand. Santana had calmed down slightly, her face dripping with tears as Quinn began rooting through the bag.

'San, I need you to lie down for me.' Quinn said, taking Santana's hand in her own. 'It's okay.' She smiled, Santana still looking slightly dazed but she nodded. She set her back down against the mattress and Quinn started to roll up her top. Santana's breathing quickened, her eyes squeezing closed. Quinn stopped and placed a hand on her face, the brunettes eyes snapping open.

'I'm sorry..' She whispered, looking everywhere but into Quinn's eyes.

'I know. Just calm down.' Quinn soothed. 'It's me and the guys. That's it. No one is going to hurt you.' Santana nodded frantically as Quinn went back to what she was doing. Santana's stomach was now in full view, Blaine looking at the scars for the first time before noticing the new one.

'Oh my God.' He whispered, Kurt squeezing his hand tighter as Quinn looked back at them. 'She did that one herself, tonight?' He asked, Quinn nodding sadly as she pulled out an antiseptic wipe from the bag.

'This might sting a little okay, I don't think it's deep enough for stitches though.' Quinn smiled at her as she nodded once more, pressing the cold material onto the cut. Santana didn't flinch. She simply stared at the ceiling whilst Quinn cleared up the blood and placed a large plaster over it, the blonde pulling her back up gently.

'Thanks Q.' She whispered.

'Don't worry about it.' Quinn kissed her cheek. 'Now tell me what happened.'

'Same dream, it's always the same dream.' Santana ran a hand through her hair. 'But this time they actually killed me.'

'What?' Quinn looked into her eyes.

'Yeah, they don't just run off. It was like I felt the knife pierce my heart, and then I woke up.' She had started crying again, Kurt jumping back down off the bed and bringing her some tissues. 'Thanks.' She accepted them gratefully as he sat on the floor beside the girls.

'Why did you, you know?' Kurt motioned to the self inflicted cut.

'I don't know, I just…' She sighed. 'I wasn't thinking.'

'Damn right you weren't thinking.' Quinn looked at her, fear and anger taking over. 'You promised me Santana, that you would never do that again.'

'I know, I'm sorry, I just hate feeling like this. I hate feeling like such a victim.' She put her head in her hands and felt Quinn's arms envelop her once more. 'I'm sorry.' She said again.

'Enough apologising, okay, lets just try and all go back to sleep.' Quinn kissed her head and helped her lie back down, Kurt returning to the bed next to Blaine.

When Quinn was sure that the guys had fallen back into dreamland, she whispered to Santana; 'Please don't do anything like that again San. I wont be okay if you ever leave me.'

'I wont. I'm sorry.' Santana said softly, snuggling down further into Quinn's side until they were both asleep.


	87. Chapter 87

**What's Going On Here?**

'Where did she even get the razor from?' Kurt asked as he, Blaine and Quinn all sat in the kitchen the next morning. Blaine was stirring his cup of coffee and Quinn was trying to force down some buttered toast, Kurt waiting for his to pop up.

'She brought it with her.' Quinn informed them.

'But how, you were with her, you must have seen what she packed right?' Blaine asked.

'No.' Quinn sighed, running her fingers through the ends of her hair. 'After all that crap with her mum, she was so out of it. I told her to go and pack for both of us while I called you guys.'

'Oh, well then there's nothing you could have done Quinn.' Kurt placed a comforting hand on her knee as she smiled weakly at him.

'Yeah, but I still should have checked.' Quinn admitted.

'Quinn, you cannot keep an eye on every single thing she does.' Blaine smiled too, Quinn nodding in agreement.

'I know, but that doesn't make me feel any better.' Quinn looked watched as Kurt stood up and walked to the toaster. 'I know she has a history of self harming, I know she isn't handling things well right now, so I should have been able to do something. I should have felt her get up, why didn't I wake up?'

'Quinn!' Kurt turned around to face her, the blonde slightly taken aback by how loud he was. 'Have you checked a mirror lately? You're exhausted. I have a feeling you could sleep through a tornado right now. Stop beating yourself up over something that's done.'

'He's right you know.' They heard Santana from the doorway. She was still wearing her blood stained pyjama top and shorts, walking slowly into the room and planting a kiss on Quinn's head.

'Thank you! See Quinn I am right.' Kurt gloated as he hopped over to Santana. 'And you need to change. Before Carole or my dad come down and think we're in some kind of sacrificial cult!' He spun her around and pushed her gently back up the stairs. Quinn heard Santana laughing most of the way up which made her smile.

'Kurt is good for her Quinn, I think you two need to come over more.' Blaine said quietly, scooting closer to the blonde and refilling her coffee cup. 'He knows how to handle things, and he's really good at helping people.'

'I can see that.' Quinn smiled. 'I don't think I've heard her laugh like that in a while.' Blaine smiled too, just as his boyfriend and Santana walked back into the room. Santana was now wearing a black t-shirt, that was much too big for her, and a pair of her own loose fitting jeans. She walked back over to Quinn and sat down as Kurt poured them both coffee.

'Do you want some toast Santana? It's all I can offer until Carole the cook comes down.' He joked.

'No thanks porcelain. I'm good with the coffee.' She smiled, picking it up and sipping it until she saw the look Quinn was giving her.

'Santana.' She said harshly.

'What?' she shrugged her shoulders, face still buried in her coffee.

'You know what.' Quinn pulled Santana's arms down until the mug hit the table gently.

'Ugh, fine.' Santana rolled her eyes. 'Can I have a bit of dry toast please Kurt?'

'Dry? Seriously?' He asked.

'Yeah, please.'

'Okay.' He said, turning around to fill up the toaster with bread once more.

'Are you happy now?' Santana asked sarcastically.

'Very.' Quinn smiled, planting a kiss on her cheek. 'Are you okay now?' She asked, Santana sighing as she knew she would have to talk about it now.

'Yeah, I am now.' She exhaled, looking around at the guys. 'I'm sorry if I freaked you guys out. I know Blaine's never seen my, you know.' She looked down, staring at her cup.

'It's okay Santana, admittedly we were a little weirded out but we want to help you through this.' Blaine patted her arm comfortingly, Santana using every bit of strength not to flinch at his touch.

'Thanks guys.' She said, smiling genuinely.

'So what happened? We know a dream right, but what made you, do that.' Kurt asked.

'I..' Santana stopped. 'I have no idea really.' She laughed. Quinn placing an arm around her shoulder and leaning on it. 'I think, because they actually killed me this time, I don't know…' She lent her head forward in her hands.

'Maybe it was like a subconscious thing?' Blaine suggested.

'Maybe.' Santana said, not lifting her head.

'But why did you pack a razor in the first place Santana?' Quinn asked, brushing Santana's hair out of her face.

'Just in case.' Santana whispered.

'Santana you have to stop. Please.' Quinn begged. 'I know you did this in the past okay, but it's dangerous.'

'I know that Q.' Santana said sadly, Blaine and Kurt watching as they continued quietly with their breakfast.

'Than why do you keep wanting to do it!' Quinn raised her voice, Santana shrinking back, placing her hands on her lap but keeping her eyes fixed on the table.

'Quinn..' Blaine cut in, seeing how scared both girls were in that moment.

'I'm sorry San, okay, I just need to understand this.' She moved some more of Santana's hair out of her eyes as she watched a tear fall down her face, the brunette quickly wiping it away and looking up at Quinn.

'I need to show you something.' Santana whispered, Quinn not liking the tone of her voice at all.

'What is it?' Quinn asked calmly. Santana then stood up and rolled up the sleeves of the shirt Kurt had given her.

'Did you ever wonder why I haven't worn shirts with no sleeves lately?' Santana asked, all of their eyes widening as they looked at the small, fresh, cuts on the tops of Santana's arms.

'Santana…..' Kurt cold only manage her name, still staring at the cuts that were only just scabbing over. Some were slightly older, thin red marks waiting to scar, but the rest must have been done in the past two weeks.

'It's getting worse….' Santana started, another tear falling down her face. 'I don't know… I don't know how not to any more.' She sniffed, quickly rolling the sleeves back down and stepping backwards closer to the door.

'Santana come back here.' Quinn said, coughing the croakiness out of her voice. She held her hand out to the Latina who tentatively took it. Quinn then pulled her back down onto her seat and wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging her tightly.

'I'm sorry.' Santana whispered, tears falling freely now as she clung on the blonde.

'I know. It's all going to be okay San.' Quinn promised, trying to keep the strength in her own voice. Kurt and Blaine gave each other an awkward look, not sure whether they should warn the girls that Finn, Burt or Carole could walk in at any moment. But by the time they made a decision, it was too late.

'What's going on here?' Carole asked, walking into the kitchen with her dressing gown tied tightly around her.

'Nothing Carol, it's fine.' Kurt assured his stepmother.

'It doesn't look like nothing Kurt.' She walked over to the girls who had now pulled apart, Santana trying her best to hide her tear stricken face. 'Santana, is it?' She knelt down and put her hands on tie sides of Santana's chair. 'Can you look at me sweetie?' Santana did, sniffing and wiping at her face with her sleeves. 'Is everything okay?' Santana shook her head, not trusting her voice to speak without breaking down again.

'Santana and Quinn are having a rough time at the moment Carole, like I told you the other night.' Kurt reminded her.

'You didn't tell me why they were having a tough time. Can I do anything?' She asked, Santana quite shocked at the fact a parent wanted to help them. Quinn started talking, she liked Carole, the woman let Quinn live with her and Finn when she was pregnant after all.

'My mum and dad have already kicked me out, because Santana and I are together.' Carole looked at her in shock. 'And Santana's dad just left. Her mum is giving her until she's eighteen and then she has to leave.'

'Girls, I don't know what to say. That's horrible.' Carole stood back up again, Santana now calm enough to look at her without crying and Quinn shooting her a sad smile. 'Just remember that you're welcome here any time. No matter what time of day or night. Understand?'

'Yeah, thanks Mrs Hummel.' Quinn said, Santana nodding silently as Quinn took her hand.

'Okay, well you all need to get ready for school.' Carole smiled.

'Sure Mrs Hummel.' Blaine smiled, grabbing Kurt's hand and leaving the kitchen, closely followed by Santana and Quinn.


	88. Chapter 88

**Lift Me Up**

All four of them walked into school about an hour later. Kurt drove and asked if everyone wanted to come back to his house after the day had finished as well. They all accepted. Quinn and Santana partially because all their stuff was there, but mostly because they really wanted somewhere safe to go. 'So, you guys know to text us if you need anything?'

'Yes Blaine.' Santana rolled her eyes. 'We have you guys on speed dial okay.'

'Good.' He grinned.

'And try to relax.' Kurt added. 'Casey, Dave and the rest of those jerks aren't here any more. Try and enjoy the day.'

'We will Kurt.' Quinn promised, smiling as he pulled her into a sideways hug.

'We'll see you in glee later guys.' Santana called, watching Kurt skip happily down the hall with Blaine at his side. They had glee at lunch today, and Santana never liked to admit that she enjoyed lunch time glee. They all ate in the choir room and chatted before Mr Schu arrived, getting in some good practice time before last period. Santana entwined her fingers with Quinn's as they walked towards their lockers. They were early so there weren't many students around yet, the odd few coming in to catch up on work but that was about it. They reached Quinn's locker, the brunette leaning against it and watching her girlfriend unlock it. She watched as she took out some text books, although Santana didn't remember what classes they had now, and then she slammed her locker closed. Santana was almost in a trance when she heard the loud noise, snapping her back to reality.

'San, you okay?' Quinn asked, leaning against the locker next to her. Santana nodded and tried to smile, but the only thing Quinn could see were the tears forming in her eyes. 'Hey.' Quinn whispered, pushing away from the locker and taking Santana by the hand into the nearest bathroom. She made sure no one was in there and positioned Santana up against the wall. 'What's wrong?' She asked, one hand still entwined with Santana's.

'Nothing, I…..' Santana started and stopped, Quinn looking at her accusingly.

'Santana tell me.' The blonde pleaded, lifting up her hand and kissing it.

'You don't think Blaine and Kurt will tell anyone do you?' She asked quietly.

'Tell them what honey?' Quinn asked, slightly confused.

'About me, my stuff you know?' Santana said timidly, motioning to her shoulder and the fresh cuts she had inflicted upon herself.

'No San, they wont tell. They're good guys.' Quinn smiled, leaning in and kissing her on the lips. Santana managed a real smile, nodding and then inhaling deeply.

'Why is this so hard Quinn?' She asked, her voice shaking but she was almost laughing at the same time.

'I don't know why San, but I do know that everything worth having has to be fought for. We love each other and that's all that matters.'

'Yeah, it is.' Santana smiled, kissing Quinn once more before they heard the first bell. 'Damn, how long have we been in here?' Santana asked.

'Long enough, come on.' Quinn said, grabbing her hand and leading her out of the bathroom. 'So I'll see you at lunch okay, we're meeting the guys in the choir room.'

'Okay, I'll probably be with Rachel so I'll see you there.' Santana informed her, giving each other one last kiss before they parted.

* * *

><p>Santana and Rachel had every lesson together that morning, the diva looking after Santana like a bodyguard and not leaving her alone for one moment. Santana was grateful, if not a little annoyed at times, but grateful nonetheless. They walked together to glee at lunch time and found that everyone else was already there. Santana immediately brightened at the sight of Quinn, smiling wider than she had all day and bounding over to her. Santana hugged her tightly and planted a kiss on her cheek before sitting down beside her, Rachel following and sitting on the other side. 'Someone's happy.' Quinn smiled, loving it when Santana looked happy.<p>

'Yeah well, so far today not one bad thing has happened. I need a good day.' Santana said, taking Quinn's hand. 'We both do.' Santana smiled, Quinn nodding in agreement.

'Speaking of bad days.' Quinn looked up at Santana, the brunette becoming slightly more concerned. 'I went to Miss P's office during my study period and told her we really needed to talk to her. We have an appointment after school today.'

'Oh, okay.' Santana smiled again. 'Well that's okay, I kind of liked talking to ginger.'

'Her name is Emma.' Quinn corrected, grinning all the while.

'I know.' Santana grinned, and then their teacher walked in.

'Alright guys, thank you for all turning up to lunch time rehearsal.' He smiled, looking at them. 'Before we get into our set-list, does anyone have anything to share?'

'Erm, Mr Schu?' He heard a small voice from the front row, looking over and seeing Santana's hand in the air.

'Yes, Santana.'

'Can I go? I have something I wanted to sing for Quinn.' Santana asked nervously.

'Of course, come on up.' Mr Schu clapped her up as she made her way to the centre of the room.

'When did you have time to pick a song Santana?' Quinn asked, grinning madly at her.

'In Spanish..' She looked at Mr Schu, his face less than impressed but he let it go, Santana walking over to Brad and telling him the song. 'So yeah, this is for Quinn.' She locked eyes with her girlfriend and whispered; 'Thank you.'

_This road, is anything but simple.  
><em>_Twisted like a riddle, I've seen high and I've seen low.  
><em>_So loud, voices up all my doubts,  
><em>_Telling me to give up, to pack up and leave town. _

_But even so I had to believe, oh,  
><em>_Impossible means nothing to me. _

She looked at Quinn as she started singing the chorus, wanting the blonde to feel every word she sang and to know that she is the whole reason Santana was still standing there.

_So can you lift me up,  
><em>_And turn the ashes into flames.  
><em>_Cause I have overcome,  
><em>_More than words could ever say.  
><em>_And I've been given hope,  
><em>_That there's alight on up the hall.  
><em>_And that a day will come when the fight is won,  
><em>_And I think that day has just begun. _

_Somewhere, yeah everybody starts there,  
><em>_You're counting on a small prayer, lost in a nightmare.  
><em>_But I'm here, and suddenly it's so clear,  
><em>_Struggled through the long years it taught me to out run my fears. _

_But everything that's worth having, oh,  
><em>_Comes with trials worth withstanding. _

Santana grinned and winked at Quinn, remembering their conversation earlier in the bathroom, the blonde laughing and smiling back at her.

_So can you lift me up,  
><em>_And turn the ashes into flames.  
><em>_Cause I have overcome,  
><em>_More than words could ever say.  
><em>_And I've been given hope,  
><em>_That there's alight on up the hall.  
><em>_And that a day will come when the fight is won,  
><em>_And I think that day has just begun. _

_Oh lift me up,  
><em>_Lift me up,  
><em>_Lift me up,  
><em>_Oh lift me up,  
><em>_Lift me up,  
><em>_Lift me up, _

Brittany was sitting in the back, smiling and swaying with Tina and Mercedes, Rachel looking on proudly as the Latina sang.

_Down and out is overrated,  
><em>_I need to be elevated.  
><em>_Looking up is not enough, no,  
><em>_I would rather fly above, oh, oh, oh,_

_So can you lift me up,  
><em>_And turn the ashes into flames.  
><em>_Cause I have overcome,  
><em>_More than words could ever say.  
><em>_And I've been given hope,  
><em>_That there's alight on up the hall.  
><em>_And that a day will come when the fight is won,  
><em>_And I think that day has just begun._

_Just begun, lift me up…._

The music faded out, everyone clapping as Santana sat back down next to Quinn. The blonde immediately pulled her over and into a deep kiss. Puck whistled, everyone cheering them on and clapping louder until Mr Schu intervened. 'Okay, okay!' He said, trying to stop smiling but he couldn't. 'Well done Santana.' He said, watching the girls pull apart. Quinn couldn't help laughing as Santana sank down into her chair blushing, and for a moment everything was fine.


	89. Chapter 89

**Just hold Still. **

'Hey girls,' Miss Pillsbury smiled at them as they entered her office. Quinn walked in first, her hand tightly around Santana's as she led her into the room. 'Please, have a seat.' Their teacher motioned to the seats in front of her desk, Quinn nodding at Santana encouragingly as they separated and sat down. Santana had a very nervous look on her face, she knew that Quinn had told Miss Pillsbury why they needed to talk to her so soon after their first session, and she did not want to go into too much detail with the woman. Don't get her wrong, Santana liked Miss P. As far as teachers went at this school she was one of the better ones, but talking to anyone other than Quinn or Brittany felt weird. 'So, Quinn has mentioned that you needed help with something Santana.' The Latina shot her girlfriend a look, not sure what she should say in response so she nodded. 'Alright. So Quinn told me that you've been hurting yourself? Is that true?'

'Yeah.' Santana said in a small voice.

'Santana, can you show me?' The guidance councillor asked, Santana looking to Quinn for another supportive nod before she stood up and pulled her jumper off over her head. She sat back down in her chair and pulled up her sleeves, letting the woman take in all of the various size marks and scratches.

'Miss P, we need to know how to help her stop.' Quinn said, an almost pleading tone in her voice as she waited for answers.

'Well, first of all Santana, how long has this been going on?'

''Erm, since before we got back, at nationals.' Santana admitted, Quinn looking at her with shock in her eyes. 'I would do it when I was in the bathroom, alone.'

'Okay, Quinn, when did you first realise this was going on?'

'Last night.' Quinn informed her. 'She had a nightmare and when I woke up she was sitting in the corner of the room and covered in blood. She had a razor in her bag.'

'Santana, what led you to do this in the first place? What were you feeling when you would pick up the razor?' Miss Pillsbury asked, Santana exhaling loudly and running a hand through her hair.

'Control.' She stated bluntly. 'I was in control.'

'So you need this feeling of control?' Miss Pillsbury asked, scribbling something down in her notebook.

'Yeah, I do.' Santana admitted.

'Why do you think that is?' The counsellor asked. Santana sighed, looking down at her feet and playing with her jumper, now screwed up into a ball on her lap.

'Because I need to…' She paused. 'Shit, I need to do something on my terms, okay.' She looked up at the red haired woman, not knowing how to make her understand. 'If I'm doing it to myself, it might make it easier if someone else did it.'

'What do you mean by that Santana? Do you think someone would want to hurt you?'

'They did before.' She whispered, a tear running down her face. 'So, why wouldn't they do it again?' She shrugged, wiping at the tear with her sleeve and sniffing, trying to regain her composure. Quinn looked at their teacher, and the look in her eyes was enough. Miss Pillsbury knew when to stop pushing.

'Well girls, I think that's enough for today.' Emma said, closing her book before looking back up to them. Quinn took Santana's hand and started to pull her up, heading towards the door. 'Erm, Quinn?' She said, the girls turning back as they reached the door. 'Can I have a word with you privately before you leave?'

'Yeah, sure.' Quinn said, turning back to Santana smiling. 'Go wait for me by our lockers okay, then we can get our stuff and go.' Santana nodded, Quinn pecking her on the lips before Santana left without a word. 'What's up Miss P?' Quinn said, taking her seat once more.

'This is bad Quinn. Santana, I've never dealt with anyone in this amount of pain.'

'What are you saying?'

'I think Santana needs more than I can give her.' Emma admitted.

'No, no we can't send her to a shrink.' Quinn shook her head.

'But she needs the help Quinn, it's been almost two years since the attack and she still thinks people will hurt her. She needs to talk this through professionally. There may even be some medication she could take, or other therapies she could try.'

'No.' Quinn almost shouted, calming herself before continuing. 'Look, I appreciate your help, but do you know how much convincing I had to do to get her to come and see you? There's no way I would ask any more of her right now.' Quinn sighed. 'And I'm not going to send her to someone if all they're going to do is give her drugs, she's been through that before.'

'She's seen someone before?' Miss Pillsbury asked.

'Yeah, right after it happened. She said all they did was medicate her and that it didn't help.' Quinn lent back in her chair, exhausted and worried.

'Alright, how about we try for a little longer, and if nothing gets better we can revisit the idea?' Emma asked.

'Okay, that sounds like a plan at least.' Quinn smiled.

'Good, now I want you and Santana to come back every other day after school to see me. But I would also like to talk to Santana alone.'

'Yeah okay, I'll ask her.' Quinn said, getting up to go and find her girlfriend. 'And thanks, for everything.'

'Sure Quinn, take care of her, and yourself. I'm always here.' She smiled and Quinn nodded before leaving the room.

* * *

><p>Santana was leaning against Quinn's locker, waiting for her girlfriend to emerge, when she heard a strange noise. She pushed herself off of the cold metal and looked around, seeing nothing. 'Quinn?' She called out, her voice shaking slightly. There was no response so she started to walk back towards Miss Pillsbury's room, rounding the corner where she bumped into the last person she wanted to see. 'Casey.' She said, jumping back slightly.<p>

'Hey there dyke.' The girl grinned, taking slow, measured steps towards the Latina.

'What…' Santana stuttered. 'What are you…'

'Doing here?' Casey finished for her. 'I wanted to see you.' She said, Santana looking up into her eyes.

'Leave me alone Casey.' Santana said, rather impressed with herself at how strong it sounded.

'No, you see, I can't do that.'

'Why not?' Santana asked, almost on the verge of tears as the taller girl closed in on her. Santana had backed all the way across the hall and only realised this when she bumped into the lockers behind her. Casey kept coming until she set a hand on the locker beside Santana's head, looking down into her eyes.

'Because, you…' Casey began, and it was the first time Santana had seen her falter.

'What is your problem Casey?' She asked, but before there was a response, Casey moved her free hand up and pushed on the Latina's shoulder, crashing her back into the lockers. Santana winced slightly, not wanting to let to much fear on her face as she prayed for Quinn to come down the hall and save her. 'Casey, please..' Santana whispered, looking at the other girl. Again she didn't respond, Santana becoming more confused by the second. Casey moved her hand from the girls shoulder, running it up her neck until she was practically stroking the side of the Latina's face. 'What are you doing?' Santana whimpered.

'Just hold still.' Casey said quietly, leaning in and kissing Santana on the lips. It was soft and intimate, and all Santana wanted to do was run away screaming.


	90. Chapter 90

**It Was Just A Kiss**

Santana pushed at the other girl as hard as she could, forcing her off of her. 'Casey what the fuck!' Santana yelled, wiping her mouth and trying to control her breathing.

'I'm sorry okay, I just needed to…'

'Needed to what? I have a girlfriend.' Santana reminded her.

'I know, just, hang on.' She said.

'What…' Santana was still yelling, confusion clouding her mind. So it was even more unexpected when Casey grabbed both of her wrists and pushed her back into the lockers. She pinned Santana's arms to the sides and proceeded to kiss her. This time it was more violent, more desperate. The taller girl overpowering Santana and keeping her there with ease. Santana couldn't breath. She could feel the tears running over her face from her eyes, but she couldn't break free of Casey's grip. She tried to mumble through the kiss, she tried to beg the girl to stop, but it was no use. Casey's grip only grew tighter, now using her whole body to restrain the Latina. Until a voice cut through the hallway, a voice Santana desperately needed to hear.

'Hey!' Quinn yelled, running over to them. Casey heard her too and pulled away a smirk widening across her face, the Latina sliding to the floor at the sudden release. 'Casey! Get the fuck away from her!' Quinn screamed, running over to them. Casey had backed away, to the other side of the hallway, whilst Quinn went to comfort her girlfriend. 'San, It's okay. I'm here.' She whispered, stroking the crying girls hair as she held her. She then set her eyes on Casey, anger fuelling them as she stood up protectively in front of Santana.

'Quinn, I'm sorry okay, I didn't….' Casey began, the blonde stalking closer to her as Casey smiled.

'You're sorry?' Quinn said sarcastically. 'You spend every minute of your time tormenting us, tormenting her, and now you think it's okay to assault her? What the fuck are you smiling about?'

'Quinn, come on, it was just a kiss.' Casey tried to defend herself, shrugging her shoulders and letting out a small chuckle.

'No, it was not just a kiss!' Quinn shouted. 'Look at what you did to her.' Quinn pointed at the girl behind her, still crying and shaking as she refused to look back up at them.

'She's being a dramatic little bitch, it's not my fault she has issues.' Casey said, Quinn's anger festering more and ore with every word the cheerio spoke. 'I just wanted to see something.'

'You wanted to see what? What could you possibly have thought would have come of what you just did?' Quinn asked, the anger burning through her.

'Lets just call it an experiment and leave it at that.' She said calmly, squaring up to the blonde.

'You need to leave Casey.' Quinn ordered. 'Stay away from me, and stay further away from my girlfriend. Do you understand me?'

'Quinn, I think I might like her.' Casey said, only making the situation worse, as she bit her bottom lip and tried to hold back a laugh.

'What the fuck are you talking about? Why are you laughing?' Quinn shouted.

'I just think it's so adorable how you're her knight in shining armour.' She laughed. 'And the guys told me this would stir things up.'

'What?' Quinn looked at the girl in front of her, lowering her tone as she spoke again. 'What are you talking about, what guys?'

'Come on Quinn, how stupid can you be.' She laughed, Quinn stepping up to her and slapping her firmly on the left cheek. 'Fabray, what….' Casey managed to mumble the words out, looking at the infuriated blonde in front of her. 'You slapped me.'

'Yeah, and I'll do a whole lot worse if you don't tell me who put you up to this.'

'Fine, it was Karofski, and Ricky.'

'Why?' Quinn asked, taking a look back at Santana who was now calming down, breathing normally and watching the scene in front of her.

'Like I said, they thought it would rock the boat. You know, if you saw your girl kissing someone else.' She smirked. 'They knew I had to come in today to talk to coach about my suspension, thought it would be the perfect opportunity.'

'You're sick. You know that? And you don't realise how much you've just fucked up.'

'Calm the hell down Fabray, it's not like you guys didn't see this coming.' Quinn looked at her perplexed, the cheerio explaining further. 'This is Lima. And what you two are doing is sick, alright Quinnie.' She mocked, stepping forwards. 'You need to learn that this is wrong.'

'No Casey, you need to learn that nothing has ever been more right.' Quinn smiled, running her eyes over the girls face. 'If you thought that by kissing Santana, against her will might I add, that I would run away crying. You have no idea.' Quinn ran her hand through her hair. 'You have no idea how much I love her.'

'Than you are both in for a world of trouble.' Casey grinned.

'Get out of here. And do not come back.' Quinn said through gritted teeth.

'Oh I'll be back blondie, and I wont be alone next time.' Casey said, skipping off down the hall. Quinn stood there momentarily with her fists clenched, breathing heavily as she calmed herself down.

'San.' She whispered, turning around and looking down at the floor. Santana looked up at her with a tear stained face.

'We're screwed aren't we?' Santana said, barely forcing out a smile as Quinn knelt in front of her.

'No we're not. We just have to make it through high school.' Quinn smiled, putting her hand on the Latina's knee and stroking it comfortingly.

'I'm sorry.' Santana whispered, looking down at the floor.

'What for? Casey is the bitch, alright. I know you would never do that to me Santana, I'm just sorry I wasn't here to stop her.' Quinn moved in and sat next to her girlfriend, Santana leaning in to her.

'I'm so tired.' Santana said quietly.

'Me too.' Quinn agreed, taking out her phone and dialling Kurt.

'Hey Quinn.' He said, answering on the third ring. 'What's up?'

'Kurt, erm, I hate to do this to you guys again, but would you be able to come back to school and get us?' She swallowed, wiping her nose on her sleeve and telling herself that she wouldn't cry.

'Of course we can, is everything alright?' He asked.

'Not really, something happened…' She left it vague. 'I promise we'll tell you later, but I can't take Santana back to her house, not tonight anyway.'

'Okay, that's fine Quinn. Where are you?'

'We're by my locker.' The blonde informed him, Kurt telling her that they'd be there in fifteen minutes. Quinn closed her phone and looked down at her girlfriend. She was about to tell her Kurt and Blaine would be here soon but Santana had fallen asleep. Quinn smiled, leaning her head down on Santana's, and the next thing she knew she was gone too.


	91. Chapter 91

**I've Got Her Tonight**

Kurt jogged down the hallway, turning the corner and gazing upon the two sleeping girls. He sighed, slowing his pace as he walked calmly towards them. He knelt down and placed a hand on Quinn's shoulder, not wanting to scare her, and watching as her eyes fluttered open. 'Quinn.' He whispered, smiling over her.

'Kurt.' She croaked out, looking down next to her where Santana was still asleep.

'Hey,' He smiled down at her sympathetically. 'Are you okay?' Quinn nodded and began to push herself up.

'Yeah, just tired.' Quinn smiled at him, moving gently and lowering Santana to the floor. She didn't wake up.

'Wow, I can see someone else is too.' Kurt said, motioning to Santana who was sleeping soundly on the floor next to them.

'Yeah, it was kind of a tough day.' Quinn admitted, Kurt shooting a small smile.

'Aren't they all.' He said, Quinn grinning and nodding.

'So, how do we do this? Get her to your car?' Quinn asked, Kurt looking at her strangely. 'Kurt, I can't carry her.'

'And you think I can?' He said, a slight laugh escaping his mouth. 'Wait, hang on.' She said, taking out his phone and dialling someone's number. 'Hey, Finn. Can you come to Quinn's locker for me. Great.' He said goodbye and hung up the phone.

'Finn is here? Where's Blaine?' Quinn asked.

'Believe it or not he has a family of his own he has to see.' Kurt said.

'Oh God, I'm sorry. I assumed he'd be with you.' Quinn put a hand to her forehead.

'It's okay Quinn, and Finn is cool. He loves you guys you know.' Kurt winked at her, Quinn nodding just as the tall boy ran around the corner.

'Hey, Kurt what's going on?' He asked, coming to a stop in front of them.

'We need you to carry Santana to the car.' Quinn informed him.

'Oh, okay. Is she alright?' Finn asked as he bent down.

'She's tired, we just need to get her back to your house.' The blonde said, Finn nodding. He then placed one arm under Santana's knees and one under her back, gently lifting her off of the floor and cradling her in his arms.

They arrived back at the Hummel-Hudson house just after dark, Kurt pulling into the driveway and looking back at the girls. 'Do you want to wake her up?' He asked, looking at Santana who had her head resting on Quinn's shoulder.

'No, it's okay Kurt I've got her.' Finn said, jumping out of the passenger side and opening Santana's door.

'Thanks Finn.' Quinn said, smiling at him gratefully. She then slipped off her seatbelt and got out of the car. Kurt led the way, Quinn next to Finn who had the sleeping Latina in his arms. Opening the door, Kurt was then met with his father's hard stare.

'Dad.' He said in surprise, walking further into the house and allowing the other's to come in behind him. Quinn closed the door just as Carole walked out of the living room. 'Carole,' Kurt continued. 'Is everything okay?'

'We were gonna ask you that same thing Kurt.' Burt said.

'Finn, would you like to tell us why you have a girl passed out in your arms?' Carole questioned him.

'Erm, well Kurt said he needed my help so we…'

'You left a note saying emergency, be home whenever.' Carole finished for him.

'Look Burt, Carole.' Quinn stepped forwards. 'This was my fault okay, I called Kurt.'

'Okay, and I assume she is the reason.' Burt motioned to the still sleeping brunette in his son's arms.

'Yeah, something happened, and we really needed help.' Quinn said, hoping the boys wouldn't get in trouble for running out without telling their parents.

'Burt, they're obviously exhausted.' Carole touched his arm.

'Finn, take Santana up to your brother's room, and then come back down. We need to talk about, everything.' He said, rubbing his head and going into the dining room. Finn looked at Quinn before she nodded, taking Santana up the stairs and gently placing her on Kurt's bed before coming back down. He entered the dining room and sat at the table, everyone else already there. There was an awkward silence before Burt began.

'Quinn, we know your's and Santana's situation. And we really feel for you and we want to help.' Quinn nodded. 'But I need to think of my own children first. We didn't know where they went, who they went with, or what time they would be back and it's after dark.'

'I know Mr Hummel, and I'm sorry. Believe me if we had anyone else to call we would, but Santana she…'

'What happened today sweetie?' Carole asked, cutting the blonde off by placing a hand over the smaller girls.

'We had a session with the guidance councillor after school. She wanted to talk to me alone after so I told Santana to meet me at my locker.' Quinn sniffed, remembering the next event as she wiped away a tear. 'When I found her Casey was there, she was kissing her.'

'What?' Kurt said, looking at her shocked.

'Wait, Casey who just got suspended for bullying you guys?' Finn asked.

'Yeah, she said Karofski and Ricky had told her to do it. They told her to try and break us up.' Quinn said, wiping away another tear. 'I knew Santana would never do anything like that, and Casey was hurting her, she wouldn't let her go.'

'Quinn, honey, calm down.' Carole said, the blonde nodding and composing herself.

'It's just with everything that's happened, Santana does not need another reason to..'

'To what?' Burt asked. Quinn looked at Kurt, the others in the room clearly noticing something else was going on. 'Kurt?' He turned to his son, but thankfully for him Quinn took over.

'We went to Miss Pillsbury today because Santana has started cutting herself. She's having trouble dealing at the moment.' Quinn said, looking at the table the entire time. 'And if she thinks that what happened today was her fault, she'll do it again.'

'She, she cuts herself?' Finn said, looking sad and confused at the same time. Quinn nodded.

'Why, why would she do that? I know things are tough with your parents right now but she should know other people love her, right?' Carole asked, making the blonde look up at her.

'That's not the problem.' Quinn smiled sadly. 'She knows I love her, that the glee club loves her. It's just other stuff, that has piled up as well.'

'What stuff?' Burt asked.

'Dad.' Kurt looked at him, telling him with his eyes to stop.

'Kurt I'm sorry, but if we're going to help, we need to know the full story.'

'Dad, it isn't our story to tell.' Kurt said, almost raising his voice.

'Kurt, it's okay.' Quinn said, the boy turning to look at her. 'Two years ago, around this time of year, Santana was attacked in an alley. Two men and a knife against her. You don't need to guess who won.' Quinn looked up at everyone, Carole's hand covering her mouth. 'She has trouble this time of year anyway, and with our new relationship, and our fucked up parents.' She looked around, embarrassed that she swore. 'Sorry.' She whispered.

'It's okay, Quinn.' Burt said. 'But it sounds like you need a good night's sleep too. Why don't you sleep in the den, the couch folds out and is really comfy.'

'Thank you, for the offer, but I should stay with Santana.' Quinn said.

'Q, I've got her tonight.' Kurt said, the blonde smiling back at him. 'Look after yourself, just for one night and I promise I'll give her back to you in one piece tomorrow.' He grinned. Quinn laughed at him before leaning her head in her hands.

'Ugh, this is such crap.' She said frustrated.

'It'll get better Quinn.' Finn said, the blonde looking up at him. 'And we've all got your backs, if this Casey chick steps to you again, she wont know what hit her.'

'Finn.' Carole said harshly.

'Not literally, she's a girl. But I mean we'll protect them.'

'That's my boy, now lets all try to relax. Quinn I want you in bed, right now.' Carole said, getting up and taking the blonde's hand.

'Thanks guys.' Quinn said, looking back at them over her shoulder before turning back to Carole. 'And thank you, for everything.'

'It's not a problem Quinn, you and Santana need to know what real parents should do. I am so sorry, that this has happened to you.' She said, and Quinn could feel how genuine it was. 'And like I said before, you're always welcome here. We just need to look after our boys too.'

'Oh God, of course, I wouldn't have called them if it would get them in trouble. I just thought Kurt would have been with Blaine, I didn't mean to drag them both out.'

'Quinn, don't think about it any more.' Carole smiled. 'Just get some sleep. I'll bring you a nightshirt and some blankets.'

'Thanks Carole.' Quinn smiled, hugging the woman before watching her head up the stairs.


	92. Chapter 92

**Everything Hurts**

Santana awoke to a dark room, her eyes trying to adjust to her surroundings.. She put her hand over her eyes to block out everything. But then she remembered. 'Shit.' She whispered, and then a faint breathing sound let her know that she wasn't alone. She rolled over across the cream sheets and fumbled on the bedside table for a lamp switch. She flicked it on as she looked towards the floor beside her. 'Kurt?' She said, looking down at eyes fixed to the ceiling.

'Hey Santana.' He smiled, his eyes meeting hers as he pushed himself up.

'What are you doing on the floor?' She asked.

'Well, some crazy chick is currently in my bed.' She grinned, Santana moving over as he got up to join her.

'Sorry.' She whispered, a hand running through her hair and her head falling down.

'Hey, it was a joke.' Kurt assured her, a comforting hand on her knee.

'Well it wasn't very funny.' She said, looking back up at him with a grin. 'I am crazy.' There was a pause before they both started laughing, Santana only breaking the mood to ask what the time was. Kurt looked behind him to the clock on the wall.

'It's a little after three in the morning.' Santana nodded, her smiled faltering and her hands playing with the sheets over her lap.

'I take it Quinn told you what happened?'

'Yeah, she explained to my dad and Carole.' He paused. 'And Finn.'

'Finn!' Santana exclaimed, looking at Kurt with a worried expression.

'Well we had to tell everyone Santana, Finn did carry you up here after all, and our parents wondered where we got an unconscious girl from.' He smiled, trying to joke again.

'Unconscious?' Santana said, looking more embarrassed than anything now.

'Don't worry, you were just tired. When we got to you and Quinn nothing was going to wake you.'

'So Finn carried me.' Santana stated.

'Yeah.' Kurt said, studying Santana's face. She looked exhausted and scared. 'Do you want me to get Quinn for you? She's in the den downstairs.'

'No, no don't wake her.' Santana said. 'Thank you, but she needs to sleep. I've been such a pain lately.' Santana smiled.

'Well from the way Quinn talks about you, you are not a pain. Far from it.' Kurt smiled. 'And from what she told us about yesterday, about Casey,' Santana visibly winced at the girls name. 'You have enough to file for harassment.'

'No way.' Santana said firmly.

'Santana.' Kurt sighed, but before he could protest further the door to his room opened slowly. A mess of blonde hair appeared from the hallway, Quinn smiling in at them before saying;

'Hey, you guys up?' She whispered, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her silently.

'Yeah, come on in.' Kurt grinned, Quinn sitting on the other side of Santana and placing an arm around her waist.

'You okay?' She asked, leaning her head on the brunettes shoulder and placing a kiss on it.

'I'm fi….' She began, Quinn stopping her.

'Honestly.' She said firmly, Santana brushing some of the hair out of Quinn's eyes.

'Honestly?' Santana questioned, Quinn nodding. 'I don't know.' She said, laughing worriedly. 'I really don't know.'

'Okay then.' Quinn sighed, hugging into Santana further. They sat in silence for a few more moments until Quinn heard Santana's breathing even out. Quinn looked around to the front of her girlfriend and saw her eyes closed so she gently lowered her onto the bed. Quinn began to stroke side of the Latina's face until Kurt broke the silence.

'So… I'm gonna go.' He whispered, standing up and brushing himself down.

'Kurt, this is your room, you don't…' Quinn began, the boy raising his hands in protest.

'It's nearly four in the morning, we have school tomorrow, and I think the bed in the den will be more comfy than the floor in here.' He smiled. 'Help her sleep.' He said, motioning to Santana.

'Okay.' Quinn smiled. 'Thank you Kurt, for everything.'

'Sure.' Kurt said before leaving the room. Quinn looked over her girlfriend once again, taking everything in, and wiping a tear away from her cheek. She then down in beside Santana and tried to drift off herself.

* * *

><p>'No…n….No…. please…..' Quinn heard Santana whispering, the blonde rolling over from her sleeping position to look down at her girlfriend.<p>

'Santana.' She said gently, propping herself up on her elbow.

'Mmmmm…' Santana mumbled, her pained expression showing clearly as Quinn switched on the lamp.

'San, honey. Wake up.' Quinn placed her hand on Santana's shoulder, hoping that she would just wake. 'Please Santana, just wake up.' She said quietly, planting a kiss on Santana's forehead.

'Quinn..' Santana responded, the blonde pulling away and looking down into deep brown eyes.

'Hey.' Quinn smiled.

'Hey.' Santana whispered back, swallowing harshly as she tried to focus on the girl above her.

'Are you okay?' Quinn asked, stroking the Latina's hair.

'Bad dream.' Santana informed her, Quinn nodding as Santana closed her eyes. Her face contorted in pain, worry crossing Quinn's mind.

'What's wrong San?' She asked, sitting further up in the bed.

'Nothing.' Santana assured her. 'I just… my body is so tired.' Santana reopened her eyes and looking sadly up at Quinn. 'Everything hurts.'

'I know.' Quinn said, leaning down and gently kissing Santana on the lips. 'But it's going to get better. I promise you it will.'

'How do you know that Quinn?' Santana asked, pushing herself up slowly until her back was leaning against the wall. 'I mean, with everything that's happened over the past few weeks, how can you even think things could get better?' She asked, leaning her head back against the wall.

'Santana.' Quinn looked at her accusingly. 'How can you not think it'll get better?' She smiled. 'It has to get better.'

'Does it?' Santana laughed. 'I mean, look at my life.' She sighed. 'Nothing gets better, ever.' She turned away from Quinn, trying to hide the tear that was falling down the side of her face.

'Look at me.' Quinn said, gently placing her hand around Santana's face, cupping her cheek until it was back facing her. She leaned in and kissed her once more, wiping the tear away in the process. 'It. Will. Get. Better.' She said firmly. 'We will graduate, we will move away, and we will never come back.' Santana nodded, letting out a long breath and closing her eyes.

'What did I ever do to deserve you?' She smiled, opening her eyes to look at her girlfriend.

'You found yourself Santana. It was you I fell in love with, the real you.' Quinn smiled. 'And I wouldn't change a minute of the time I've spent with you.' Santana snorted, a grin creeping across her face.

'Really Q?' She asked.

'Well, okay, I could have done without seeing Casey all over you.' Quinn said.

'Yeah, I could have done without that too.' Santana joked, taking Quinn's hand from her cheek and kissing it before holding it in her lap.

'Are you okay Santana? I mean about Casey, what she did.'

'Yeah, I think so.' Santana looked up at her. 'I know she was just trying to break us up.'

'She was, but that's never going to happen.' Quinn smiled. 'And if you want to talk about it, I'm here.'

'Thanks Quinn. I think I might talk to Miss P about it, if that's okay with you?' Santana asked.

'Of course it is, that's a big step San.' Quinn said, stroking the back of Santana's hand with her thumb. 'Now how about we try and go back to sleep?' Quinn said. 'We have about two hours before we have to get up.'

'Wonderful….' Santana groaned sarcastically, sliding back down and pulling the covers over her head.

'Hey, wait for me will you!' Quinn joked, dropping down beside her and wrapping an arm around her waist.

'Goodnight Quinn.' Santana whispered.

'Goodnight Santana.' Quinn replied, kissing the back of her neck before closing her eyes.


	93. Chapter 93

**You Think She's Getting Better?**

'Hey Quinn.' Mercedes said as the blonde sat down opposite her at the lunch table. The rest of the glee guys were already there, only Santana missing from the group.

'Hey.' She smiled at them, sitting down beside Tina.

'Are you okay girl, you look tired.' Mercedes pointed out.

'I'm fine, Santana only woke up once last night so it was a good night.' She smiled.

'That's great Quinn, you think she's getting better then?' Mike asked.

'Well, she seems to be. I think talking to Miss P is helping. She's there right now.' Quinn informed them.

'Did she talk to you about yesterday yet Quinn?' Kurt asked. 'After what happened I mean.'

'No, no she hasn't yet, but she said she would.' Quinn told him.

'Wait, what happened yesterday?' Rachel asked.

'We didn't want to tell them unless it was okay with you and Santana.' Finn informed her.

'Thanks guys.' Quinn said, looking first to Finn and then Kurt.

'So what happened?' Sam asked.

'I think I should ask Santana first, if it's okay with her before I tell you guys.' Quinn said, but then she heard a familiar voice behind her.

'If what's okay with me Q?' Santana asked, standing behind Quinn where she sat and planting a kiss on the top of her head.

'Well, they wanted to know about yesterday. What happened after school.'

'Oh, okay.' Santana said, sliding in the seat between Quinn and Tina. 'I guess it'd be okay if they know. Right?' She looked at Quinn for support, but it was Kurt who spoke first.

'I think it's a good idea to tell them Santana.' He smiled, the brunette smiling back.

'Okay, Quinn can…' Santana looked at her and Quinn knew she wasn't ready to talk about it that much yet.

'Of course I can.' She whispered in her ear, kissing her cheek before facing the group and watching Santana's head fall to her lap as her hands started to play with the strap on her bag.

'So it was after Santana's session with Miss P last night. She wanted to have a word with me afterwards without Santana so she waited for me at our lockers. I don't know any more until I walk around the corner and I see Casey. She had Santana pinned against the locker and was.. She was kissing her, and hurting her.'

'Oh my God.' Lauren whispered, Santana looking up and wiping a tear from her face.

'She was trying to break us up.' Santana informed them, gripping Quinn's hand tightly.

'Finn and Kurt knew because they came and got us. She was so tired and fell asleep so I needed Finn to carry her We've been staying at their place for a few days.'

'Why a few days? I thought you were living at Santana's?' Puck remembered.

'We were, but now that her dad has left, her psycho mother is the only one in the house. We just don't want to be there if we don't have to be.'

'Maybe we should introduce my psycho mum to your psycho dad.' Santana grinned, Quinn knocking her on the shoulder.

'Not funny San.' The blonde grinned.

'Wait, so what did Casey actually say to you Santana, before she, you know….?' Rachel asked. Santana sighed before she thought back.

'Well the only thing she said before she kissed me was that she wanted to see me. I pushed her off the first time but she's stronger than she looks.' Santana laughed, trying to hide the tears as they formed in the corner of her eyes. 'Then she grabbed my wrists so I couldn't go anywhere and slammed my back into the lockers, that was when Quinn came.'

'I couldn't believe it. After she backed off Santana looked… she looked so broken.' Quinn said, looking into the Latina's eyes and brushing some hair out of them. 'Then Casey actually tried to defend herself, saying it was just a kiss. A kiss doesn't send someone into a panic attack and she knew what it would do to Santana.'

'I remember hearing her call me a dramatic little bitch with issues.' Santana chuckled. 'And that she wanted to see something.'

'See what?' Sam asked.

'That's what I said.' Quinn replied. 'And then she made up this bullshit about having a crush on Santana, even though she was just trying to break up our relationship.'

'She said the guys told her to stir things up.' Santana informed them. 'Then Quinn slapped her.'

'You slapped her!' Tina said grinning as Quinn blushed and looked away.

'Yeah she did, it was totally hot.' Santana smiled, kissing Quinn's neck.

'Anyway, Karofski and Ricky made her do it.' Quinn finished. 'And she said she would be back and that next time she wouldn't be alone.'

'They need to stop with all these threats, don't they have something better to do that torment you guys?' Finn asked.

'Not now that they're all suspended. They have plenty of time on their hands.' Santana joked.

'Hey, look at me.' Quinn said, picking up both of Santana's hands and looking into her eyes. 'Everything is going to be fine. We have to stick together, or with the guys and nothing is going to happen.' Quinn kissed the palms of Santana's hands before letting them fall into her lap. 'I promise you.'

'You're right Quinn, we just have to survive until graduation and we'll be out of here.'

'That's the spirit.' Quinn smiled.

'So Santana, how about your other thing, I mean are you getting over that or?' Sam asked.

'No, well a little I guess. I mean I had a nightmare last night but it was mainly a Casey flash back so.'

'If it's like last year you have about ten days left until you're in the clear.' Brittany spoke up, Santana shooting her an odd glance.

'B, you kept track of my crazy?' Santana laughed.

'You're my best friend San. I never left your side.' Brittany reminded her.

'I know you didn't B, thank you.' Santana nodded at her, the dancer smiling before snuggling back down into Artie's lap.

'What are you guys doing tonight then?' Puck asked.

'Yeah, you're totally welcome to stay at ours for as long as you need.' Kurt said, Finn nodding in agreement.

'No, I think we need to go back to mine.' Santana said. 'But thank you guys for everything. We don't want to be any more trouble.'

'Well the door is always open Santana, remember that.' He assured her.

'Are you going to be okay going home Santana, your mum…' Quinn said.

'My mum wont notice if we're there or not. She's basically just a landlord who kicks you out when you turn eighteen.'

'That's so sad.' Rachel said, Finn tightening his grip around her shoulders.

'Well, we cant all have decent parents.' Santana shrugged, leaning into Quinn.

'Hey, I have an idea.' Mercedes said after a few moments. 'I know you're going home tonight but how about tomorrow, seeing as it's Friday, you come have a sleep over at mine? All the girls.' She said looking around the table. 'We can make it last all weekend if you need time away from your mother.'

'That sounds great Mercedes. We'd love too.' Quinn answered for both of them, Lauren, Tina and Rachel all nodding in agreement. The bell for last period rang, Rachel walking over to Quinn and Santana as everyone left.

'Hi, erm Santana and I have calculus next so I thought I'd walk her.' Rachel said, Quinn smiling and nodding in appreciation.

'I'll see you in glee babe.' Quinn said, kissing Santana on the lips before heading off in another direction.

'I have my tiny bodyguard back.' Santana joked as they walked out of the lunch room.

'You do indeed.' Rachel grinned. 'Come on, we're going to be late.' She said, skipping out of the room with a smiling Santana right behind her.


	94. Chapter 94

**Hey! I know it's been ages and you all probablty hate me! But I'm having serious writers block so thought this would give me some inspiration!**

**I appreciate everyone who has followed or favourited me and hopefully now I'll be back on a more regular basis!**

**This is only a short chapter but I'm just warming back up.**

**:) XX**

* * *

><p><strong>Aren't You A Little Sad?<strong>

Santana and Quinn walked down the path to her house after school. Santana had her arm looped through Quinn's with her head down on her shoulder. 'My mum's car is gone.' She said happily, looking up at the lonely house.

'Great. The last thing we need is more drama.' Quinn smiled down at Santana who sat on the step of her front porch. She looked sad and Quinn's smile faltered. 'Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like…..'

'I know that Q. It is a good thing she isn't here; don't get me wrong, but….'

'But she's still your mum.' Santana nodded as Quinn joined her on the step. 'I'm sorry San.'

'Yeah. You lost your parents too Quinn, aren't you even a little bit sad?'

'I never really thought about it.' Quinn turned Santana towards her. 'I do miss them. But not half as much as I would miss you. I don't regret leaving them, or anything that's happened in the past few months, as long as I have you.' She leaned in and kissed her girlfriend on the lips.

'When did you go all sappy on me Q?' Santana smiled.

'When I realised that you we're cutting again, and that I didn't realise, I think my heart broke.' Quinn admitted, looking away.

'Q….' Santana tried to look at the blonde but Quinn stood up and began pacing. 'That wasn't your fault Q. Nobody knew.'

'But I'm your girlfriend! I'm supposed to notice. And more than that, you should have told me.' Quinn sighed, realising she was getting angry, and calmed down sitting back with Santana.

'I'm sorry.' Santana whispered.

'Don't apologise.' Quinn took her hand. 'I know you don't think you have any control over it or anything.'

'I'm not apologising for that.' Quinn looked up at her. 'I'm apologising because I make you feel bad, like all of the time.' Santana smiled, rubbing the back of Quinn's hand.

'I don't feel bad because of you Santana. How could you think that?'

'Well, how could you not? I'm a lot of work if you hadn't noticed.' Santana grinned.

'This situation is hard work, you are not.' Quinn kissed her again and stood up. 'Come on.' She pulled Santana to her feet. 'We have the house to ourselves and I am in desperate need of a pizza.'

'Of course you are.' Santana smiled, following as Quinn entered the house.


	95. Chapter 95

**That's Where It Is**

Friday was surprisingly uneventful for Quinn and Santana. They went to school and then Glee and when they arrived home on Friday afternoon they found that Santana's mother was still nowhere to be seen. Santana went into the kitchen and put the coffee maker on, ignoring Quinn's suggestive glance, and took two mugs out of the cupboard. 'Coffee dear?' She asked sarcastically.

'Yes, please, but you can only have some if you eat something.'

'What are you talking about, I ate at lunch time.' Santana protested. Quinn moved to sit on a seat by the counter.

'You had a bag of carrot sticks.' Quinn reminded her.

''Exactly, food.' Santana said, pouring out the coffee and putting one of the mugs in front of Quinn before sitting opposite her.

'Fine, but I will make you eat something tonight if it kills me!'

'It might Q, depends on what you try to feed me.' Santana smiled. 'But I think Mercedes was talking about ordering in Breadsticks so you should be fine.'

'Glad to hear it.' Quinn sipped her coffee and then took Santana's hand in her own. 'Have you noticed?'

'Noticed what?' Santana looked at her, confused.

'You've stopped shaking. Hold your hand out.' Quinn asked, Santana lifting up her arm and holding it out in front of her. 'Look at that S, steady as a rock.' Quinn beamed.

'That's… that's great.' Santana put her hand back down and smiled at the blonde. 'And I owe it all to you.' Quinn blushed, running her finger along the rim of her mug.

'It's not all me San, you helped yourself.' Santana took both of Quinn's hands and looked into her eyes.

'You saved my life Quinn. I know that I would not be here, I wouldn't want to be here, if it wasn't for you.' Santana pulled Quinn's face towards her own and kissed her passionately.

'Wow, you know how to make a girl feel special.' Quinn giggled. 'But, you saved me too Santana. Made me see things entirely differently, made me fight for what I wanted and not what everyone else wanted me to be. I owe you my world.' They looked into each other's eyes for what seemed like eternity before Santana broke the spell.

'Anyway, what time does wheezy want us over?'

'Any time really. I know Brit and Tina will be there by about 6, not sure about Rachel. You know how long she takes to get ready, even if she's just wearing pyjamas.' Santana laughed.

'What about Lauren?' Santana wondered.

'I think she had a family thing tonight.' Quinn informed her.

'Right.' She took another drink of her coffee. 'Q, why don't you go shower first, I can start packing a bag.'

'Okay, sounds good.' Quinn got up and put her mug in the sink before turning back to Santana. 'And no razor blades this time please!'

'Scouts honour.' Santana said, saluting as Quinn went up the stairs. Once she was out of earshot, Santana took her phone out of her bag. After a few rings the phone was answered. 'Hey, it's me. I was wondering if you could do me a favour?' She listed down the other end and then smiled. 'Perfect, thanks.' She hung up and then bounded up the stairs to pack a bag for her and Quinn.

A few hours later they were on Mercedes doorstep. Santana knocked on the door and they we're shortly met by the grinning face of Mercedes. 'Hey girls! Come on in.' She said as Santana and Quinn entered the large house.

'Wow this place is awesome.' Santana said, her eyes scanning every detail of the property. It was large and colourful and represented exactly who Mercedes and her family were.

'Where are your parent's?' Quinn asked as Mercedes led them into the den.

'They're at a fundraiser tonight and staying in a hotel, so we can make a lot of noise!' They entered the den to see that everyone else was already there. Rachel, Tina and Brittany we're watching some trashy TV programme when they saw the girls enter.

'Hey guys, how's it going?' Brittany asked, running over to hug Santana.

'It's great thanks Brit.' Quinn said, turning to Mercedes. 'Erm, not that I'm complaining, but why are we in here? It's really tiny.' Mercedes smiled and shrugged, right as Kurt came through the kitchen door.

'Okay guys it's all set….' He stopped dead when he saw Quinn, Santana was looking at him and shaking her head. 'Never mind.' He finished.

'What's all set?' Quinn asked. She turned to Santana. 'What's all set?'

'Well, I guess it won't be a surprise anymore.' She looked at Kurt who whispered his apologies. 'I wanted to do something special for you.' Mercedes went over to the curtains, which were closed, and began to open them. Quinn walked up to the window and looked out, seeing a mass of twinkling silver lights. A stage had been set up at the foot of the garden, with a picnic blanket and covered up trays of food.

'Santana….' Quinn looked back at her. She was smiling.

'Turns out, breadsticks do picnics too.' She grinned. Quinn walked up to her and kissed her before pulling her into an embrace. Rachel and the others stood.

'Shall we?' Rachel asked, Santana nodding and taking Quinn by the hand. Everyone sat on the blanket whilst Santana went to centre stage, Brittany and Tina doing backing vocals for her.

'So Quinn, this is for you…' The music began;

_In the circles I've been running,  
>I've covered many miles,<br>And I could search forever for what's right before my eyes,  
>Just when I thought I'd found it,<br>It was nothing like I'd planned,  
>When I got my heart around it, it slipped right through my hands,<br>Here with you I feel it,  
>I close my eyes and see it,<em>

_In a midnight talk, in a morning kiss,_  
><em>When I'm in your arms, that's where it is,<em>  
><em>When we're tangled up and can't resist,<em>  
><em>When we feel that rush, that's where it is,<em>  
><em>That's where it is<em>

Quinn was smiling at every word as she watched Santana on the stage. She finally felt like things we're looking up. Like Brittany said, Santana only had about a week until her nightmares should stop, and she hadn't had one in a while, so maybe this was the start of a new chapter for them.  
><em><br>When I'm crashing through the madness,  
>Not sure who I'm supposed to be,<br>When I'm caught up in the darkness,  
>It's your hand that's leading me,<br>You bring me back to solid ground,  
>You lift me up right here, right now<em>

_In a midnight talk, in a morning kiss,_  
><em>When I'm in your arms, that's where it is,<em>  
><em>When we're tangled up and can't resist,<em>  
><em>When we feel that rush, that's where it is<em>

_It's a life time filled with tight embraces_  
><em>The biggest things in the smallest places,<em>

_In a midnight talk, in a morning kiss,_  
><em>When I'm in your arms, that's where it is,<em>  
><em>When we're tangled up and can't resist,<em>  
><em>When we feel that rush, that's where it is<em>

_In the sweetest smile, on a night like this,_  
><em>And a tender touch, that's where it is,<em>  
><em>When we're tangled up, and can't resist,<em>  
><em>When we feel that rush, that's where it is,<em>  
><em>That's where it is<em>

The song finished and everyone clapped and cheered. Santana jumped down from the stage and kissed Quinn. Everyone else began un-wrapping the food and started loading up their plates. This was going to be a good night.


	96. Chapter 96

**They Know Something's Up**

Santana woke up in the middle of the night. It was dark and she was momentarily disorientated when she sat up. She looked around and saw everyone else passed out around her and remembered they were at Mercedes house. She felt the sweat dripping down her face and the heat radiating from her body. Running a hand through her hair she got up and carefully manoeuvred around her sleeping friends. She made it to the door before looking back to check that she hadn't woken anyone. She hadn't, so she quietly crept down the stairs. She went to the kitchen and got a glass from the cupboard before running water into it. 'Santana.' She heard someone behind her. 'Santana.' She slowly began to turn around. She could see the figure of someone standing at the door to the kitchen but they were cloaked in darkness.

'Who… who's there?' She whispered, her voice fragile and scared.

'Now, now, don't you remember me?' The voice said. It was a man, definitely a man, and Santana knew where she'd heard it. He started to pull something out of his pocket, a shining silver knife that reflected the moonlight. Santana swallowed nervously before trying to speak.

'My….. my friends are upstairs, they'll, they'll hear you…'

'Santana, you're friends are all dead.' He took a step towards them.

'What, no…. no I just came from there, they we're sleeping….' She was starting to panic.

'They're dead. And you killed them.' He growled, lunging forwards. Santana dropped the glass, a loud crash as it shattered on the floor…

…..'Santana!' Quinn shouted, holding onto the smaller girls shoulders. 'San, baby please wake up.' Everyone was watching the scene in front of them. Santana had begun mumbling in her sleep, and then screaming until her body was physically moving. Quinn was holding her top half whilst Kurt held onto her legs.

'Quinn, I thought it was getting better?' Brittany said through her tears.

'It was… I don't know what this is.' She said, struggling against the Latina's movements. 'Santana.' She whispered. She used one hand to stroke Santana's hair which seemed to be calming her. 'San, wake up, please.' After a few more moments Santana shot upwards. She looked at Quinn and latched on to her.

'You're…. you're not dead.' Santana said, relief flowing through her.

'What?' Quinn pulled Santana away enough to look at her face. 'San, why would you think I was dead?'

'He, he told me it was all my fault.' Santana looked around the room. It was still dark out but everyone was awake. 'You were all dead.' She whispered.

'Santana, what happened in your dream?' Mercedes asked, noticing Santana's shoulders shaking.

'I went to the kitchen for a drink, and he came up behind me…..' She sniffed, trying not to cry. 'He told me you were all dead and that it was my fault, then he pulled out a knife and started stabbing me.' Quinn hugged her tighter.

'It was just a dream Santana. We're all fine.' Rachel assured her. Rachel moved around to Santana's side and placed a tentative hand on her back. Santana tensed once but eventually relaxed into it.

'I know.' Santana smiled. 'You guys should go back to sleep. What time is it anyway?'

'It's a little before three.' Tina answered.

'Damn. I'm sorry I woke you. I honestly don't know where that came from.' Santana smiled, starting to stand up but felt Quinn hold her in place.

'What are you doing?' The blonde asked her.

'I'm going to the bathroom Q.'

'Come right back okay, otherwise I'll come and get you.'

'Yes boss.' Santana joked, kissing her cheek before leaving. Once she was gone, all eyes were on Quinn.

'What?'

'What was that Quinn, she's only going to the bathroom?' Tina wondered.

'I know, I just don't want her to be gone for too long.' Quinn covered.

'No, there was something more to that, what aren't you telling us?' Rachel asked. Kurt shot Quinn a worrying glance before speaking.

'Look guys, I'm sure if there was something we needed to know, they'd tell us. People are allowed some privacy you know.'

'Oh my God, Kurt knows.' Mercedes looked at him then back to Quinn. 'Come on girl what is up with Santana? Apart from, well everything we already know.'

'It's not my place to tell you and Kurt only knows because he was there when it happened.' Quinn defended him and covered for Santana but then she came back into the room. She sat back next to Quinn and felt everyone watching her.

'They know something don't they?' Santana asked Quinn.

'They know something's up.' Quinn confirmed. Santana sighed and ran her hand through her hair. She didn't say anything. She simply stood up and took off the baggy top she was wearing to sleep in. They all looked at the fresh cuts on her stomach and then they saw the tops of her arms.

'Santana….' Brittany knelt in front of her and raised her hand. She was afraid to touch Santana in case she hurt her. 'Why?'

'Control. I was in control this time B, not them.' Santana said before she put her top back on.

'That's why Quinn is so worried about you.' Mercedes said, Santana nodding.

'Can we just go back to sleep. If you want me to talk I promise I will in the morning.' Santana said.

'Sure Santana, as long as you're okay?' Rachel said, looking at Santana's hand. She clenched it into a fist before smiling;

'I'm fine. Go back to sleep.' Santana slid back down onto the mattress with Quinn shortly following after. The blonde put her arm across Santana's stomach and held her tightly. They listened to everyone else settling back down before Quinn whispered;

'I love you.' Santana smiled and snuggled further under the blanket.

'I love you too Q.' She replied, listening to the sound of Quinn breathing. It finally evened out so Santana knew her girlfriend was asleep. Santana didn't even bother closing her eyes because she did not want to go back to dreamland.


	97. Chapter 97

**I Can Smell Something Burning**

Santana walked into Mercedes kitchen the next morning. She went to the sink and ran herself a glass of water, just like in her dream. She stood looking out of the window, taking deep breaths and whispering; 'It's not real, it wasn't real.' After a few moments she turned around and looked to the doorway. There was no one there. She let out a sigh of relief and sipped the water, taking a seat at the island in the middle of the room. She was half way through the glass when Rachel came into the room.

'Morning Santana.' She said cheerfully. 'How are you feeling?' She took a seat next to Santana.

'I'm okay, I think.' Santana smiled at her before getting up and putting her glass in the sink. 'What are you doing up this early anyways?' Santana wondered, looking at the clock and seeing it was only five thirty.

'I kind of have a routine, it's hard to break.' Rachel informed her. She watched as Santana lent against the sink, crossing her arms in front of her body. She looked tired. 'Did you get any sleep at all Santana?'

'No, I couldn't get back to sleep after that.' Santana smiled. 'But it's okay, it's not like I haven't had a sleepless night before.'

'I know but…. It just sucks.' Rachel couldn't find the words as Santana came and sat back with her.

'Yeah, it sucks.' She agrees.

'Brittany told us about the time you tried to stay awake for as long as possible.' Rachel informed her, Santana looked at her and sighed. She ran a hand through her hair. 'I also notice that you do that when you're nervous.'

'Do what?' Santana queried.

'Run your hands through your hair.' Rachel informed her. 'You do it a lot.'

'Oh,' Santana said, clasping her hands in front of her.

'You don't have to stop doing it Santana, if it helps.'

'It's just a reaction. I don't even know I'm doing it.' Santana said, Rachel nodding in understanding.

'Do you want to talk more about your dream last night?' Rachel asked. 'I'm a good listener.' Santana smiled.

'No, thanks Rachel. I'm going to talk about it with Quinn later.'

'Alright then. So, whilst we're here, shall we prepare breakfast for everyone?' Rachel asked.

'I guess, yeah. What can we make?' Santana questioned.

'I was thinking pancakes and bacon, providing Mercedes has the necessary ingredients.'

'Great. I'll follow your lead then Berry.' Santana motioned for her to begin.

About an hour later Quinn walked into the kitchen and witnessed something she hadn't seen much of lately. Santana was smiling, laughing even, at something Rachel had said. Quinn stood in the doorway and watched them interact. They were covered in flour and the kitchen was a mess. It smelt glorious, sweet and bacony all at the same time. Quinn smiled as Rachel's eyes turned to her. 'Oh, morning Quinn.' She said, Santana turning to look too.

'Morning guys.' She replied, walking over and kissing Santana on the cheek. 'Hey you.'

'Hey.' Santana whispered. 'Why are you up?' She asked whilst Quinn took a seat at the island.

'I woke up and you weren't there so I came to find you.' Quinn said.

'Oh, well I'm cool. Berry's making pancakes and I'm….. supervising?' Santana smiled at Rachel.

'Supervising is probably not the right word I'm afraid.' Rachel giggled. 'Although Santana was very good a stirring the pancake mix.'

'Glad to hear it.' Quinn smiled and pulled Santana down onto her lap.

'I'm going to get flour all over you Q.' Santana informed her.

'Well then we'll just have to go and get cleaned up together.' Quinn winked, Santana kissing her on the lips.

'Ewww guys, it's a bit early for than font you think?' Rachel shielded her eyes comically.

'It's never too early for that.' Santana said, kissing Quinn once more.

'Rachel.' Quinn said, looking at the smaller girl.

'Yes Quinn.' She replied.

'I can smell something burning.'

'Oh, shoot!' Rachel cried, hurrying over to the grill where a pancake was indeed burning. Santana laughed as she turned off the heat and removed the pan. 'I'm going to have to start over now.'

'Well, why don't you do that, Santana and I can get cleaned up and round everyone up, set the table?'

'That sounds like a good idea.' Rachel agreed, Santana and Quinn leaving the room.

Later that morning they were all sitting around Mercedes dining room table. There was a wonderful spread of pancakes, bacon and fruit. 'Thanks for doing this guys.' Mercedes said, tucking into a pile of pancakes and syrup.

'Yeah, these taste great.' Kurt concurred.

'It was mostly Rachel, I was just there to make it as difficult for her as possible.' Santana grinned before taking a bite out of an apple.

'Don't sell yourself short Santana, it was a team effort.' Rachel said.

'So, what does everyone want to do today, it is Saturday after all.' Tina wondered.

'I'm up for the mall, or the park?' Brittany said. 'We can chase the ducks like we used to San.'

'Sure thing Britt, we can do that.' Santana smiled at her from the end of the table.

'Why don't we go to the mall and then swing by the park on our way home?' Kurt suggested. Everyone agreed and after breakfast was finished they went to get ready.

Santana and Quinn were left in the bedroom alone, everyone else dressed and waiting downstairs. 'Santana are you nearly ready?' Quinn shouted through the bathroom door. There was no answer so she knocked several times. 'Santana?' She shouted this time and knocked louder, turning the handle to the door but it was locked from the inside. A few seconds later the door opened, Santana standing on the other side.

'Q? Everything okay?' Santana looked at her confused.

'Oh, yeah, yeah sorry.' Quinn stepped back from the door and into the room. 'I was just worried.' Santana sighed and followed her into the room.

'Quinn' Santana grabbed her hand and pulled her down so they were sitting on the bed together. 'You don't have to worry all the time.'

'I know but I can't help it.' Quinn said, cupping Santana's chin with her hand. 'You worry me, Santana, and I don't want to let you down.'

'You never will, and you never have Q.' Santana smiled, holding onto her arm. 'You're perfect.'

'Thanks Santana.' Quinn smiled and pecked her on the lips before standing. 'Come on then, better not keep everyone waiting.' With that, they left the room and joined everyone downstairs.


	98. Chapter 98

**Leave My Friends Alone, Bitch**

'Santana come on!' Brittany yelled enthusiastically, grabbing the Latina's arm and attempting to tug her away to a clothes shop. They were all sitting having a coffee in the middle of the mall but Brittany was getting restless. 'Please Santana!'

'Okay, okay, B chill out a second.' Santana laughed, swatting her away before turning to Quinn. 'Q, I'm going to check out this store with Brit. We'll be back soon.' Santana informed her just as Brittany hauled her up.

'Be careful!' Quinn shouted after them. 'Look after her Brit.' Quinn called with a worried expression on her face. Once they were out of sight Quinn looked back to the group who were all watching her. She broke eye contact and sipped her coffee.

'Quinn, it's okay to be nervous.' Tina said, smiling.

'I'm not nervous.' Quinn put on a fake smile but they saw through it.

'Yes you are. We get it girl.' Mercedes knocked her on the knee comfortingly.

'It's just, we haven't been apart that much. I like to be near her.' Quinn admitted.

'And I know you like her to be near you.' Kurt said, Quinn nodding. 'So you can look out for her.'

'Yeah, I guess.' Quinn said. 'But I know Brittany will do the same.'

'Of course she will, she loves Santana too.' Tina said, taking a bite of a muffin.

'Don't worry Q, they'll be back before you know it.' Rachel assured her, Quinn nodded but she was hardly convinced.

-x-

'Santana you have to try this one on.' Brittany said, pulling a tight fitting red dress from the rack.

'It's beautiful B, but even if I liked it I have no money spare to spend.' Santana reminded her.

'Well you could try it on to see and then Santana might get it for you this Christmas.' Brittany beamed and Santana couldn't say no. She took the dress from Brittany and smiled, stepping into a changing room. She put the dress on and noticed that it didn't feel tight. It was her size but it fit over her with ease, the lack of cling making it look strange. The dress had no sleeves and Santana could see the scars on the tops of her arms. She ran her fingers over them and could feel tears welling up behind her eyes. She was snapped out of it when she heard Brittany calling her. 'Santana, let me see!'

'Hang on Brit.' Santana called back. She quickly put her clothes back on and left the changing room. She saw the look of disappointment on the dancer's face.

'What happened? Was it no good?' Brittany asked, taking the dress back.

'It was a bit big, not really my style any more Brit-Brit.' Santana smiled sadly at her.

'Okay. But if it's big Santana, that's not good. This is like the smallest size.'

'I know B, I'm working on it.' Santana rubbed her shoulders and walked past her back into the shop. She turned to Brittany. 'Let's go and see if the others are ready to hit the park, yeah?'

'Yeah, sounds perfect.' Brittany said, smiling brightly once more. She linked arms with Santana as they left the shop. Rounding the corner towards the food court Santana stopped dead in her tracks. 'San, what is it?' Brittany asked, scared by the look on Santana's face.

'Nothing Brit, let's go this way.' Santana began to pull Brittany in the other direction.

'What's going on Santana, everyone's that way.' Brittany pointed behind her.

'I know, I just want to take the long way, go for a walk.' Santana lied, her pace speeding up.

'Santana slow down.' Brittany pleaded, but the brunette wasn't listening. All she was focusing on was getting back to Quinn. They rounded a corner moments later and were met by the one thing Santana was trying to avoid.

'Woah girls, what's the hurry?' Casey said, pushing herself away from the wall she was leaning against. Karofski was standing behind her, arms folded. Brittany made a conscious decision to step in front of Santana because she knew it was what Quinn would have done. 'Aww isn't that sweet, the ditz standing up for the crazy bitch.' Santana flinched at the word, her grip on Brittany's hand tightening.

'What do you want Casey, you're not….' Brittany started but was cut off.

'Not what, supposed to be here?' Casey looked them up and down. 'I was suspended from the school, not the mall dumb ass.'

'Hey!' Santana shouted, almost instinctively, but shrunk back at the look Casey gave her.

'Hey, what. What are you going to do about it?' Casey said. 'I thought you would know better than this Santana. Leaving the pack was a risky move, especially after I told you and Quinn that you'd pay.'

'We're just shopping Casey, leave us alone.' Brittany pleaded, her nervousness showing.

'So are we Brit, just shopping.' Casey smiled as she stepped closer to them. 'But whilst I'm here, maybe you could help me with something.'

'What?' Brittany asked, Santana pulling her back slightly.

'I need to work out what I'm going to do next. There are two things floating around in my head but I'm not sure which one to go with.'

'Stop this Casey, leave us alone.' Santana said, surprised at the strength coming through in her voice.

'I just want to know what Brittany thinks.' Casey said. 'Now shall I, beat the shit out of Santana now…..' She looked at the brunette and smiled, 'or wait until I have her and Quinnie together?' She looked back to Brittany. 'Well, which one do you think would be more fun?'

'Neither. Leave my friends alone, bitch.' Brittany said causing Casey's eyes to darken.

'I was hoping you'd say that.' Casey grinned. Before Brittany could react she was being pulled from Santana's hold and the strong arms of Karofski were around her shoulders.

'Santana!' Brittany cried, watching as Casey advanced on her friend. Santana clenched her hands to control her shaking, her voice wavering as she tried to talk Casey down.

'Are you insane Casey, we're in a crowded mall.' Santana looked at her and then realised; 'There are cameras all around this place, no way would you get away with it.'

'Oh, no, what are we going to do now?' Casey said sarcastically. 'There is only one camera in this corridor, down the other end. They wouldn't see a thing. And as for the people, look around. It's not exactly a party up in here, is it now?'

'Just, let Brittany go, alright. She isn't a part of this.'

'So she can run and tell your girlfriend, I don't think so Santana.' Casey stopped, a look on her face made Santana realise she'd thought of something. 'I know, why don't we send Quinn a little message?'

'What are you going to do?' Santana asked nervously.

'Well I could probably show you better than I could tell you.' Casey smiled and lashed out, striking Santana across the cheek. She could hear Brittany calling her name as Casey slapped her once more. She fell into the wall and used it for support as the girl approached her. 'This is too pathetic Santana.' Casey laughed. To her surprise, just as she was about to land a punch to Santana, the brunette forced herself away from the wall. Casey's swing missed and her fist hit concrete. She cried out in pain as Santana ducked away from her. Santana looked at Brittany who took the opportunity to get away from Karofski whilst he was distracted. She stomped on his foot and his hold on her relaxed enough for her to wriggle away. She ran to Santana, grabbed her hand and they sprinted down the hall.

'Brit, Brittany I need to stop.' Santana pleaded once they were far enough away. They stopped and Santana lent against a wall, trying to control her breathing.

'Are you okay San?' Brittany asked, very close to tears.

'I'm fine, I just need to catch my breath.' Santana looked up and smiled, which was when Brittany saw the cut and bruise on her cheek.

'San, does that hurt?' Brittany asked. Santana didn't even realise what she was talking about until she felt her face and looked at the small amount of blood on her shaking hand.

'Oh, no it's fine Brit. She must have been wearing a ring or something.' Brittany nodded.

'Are you good?' She asked her moments later.

'Yeah, come on Brit.' Santana started to walk slowly. She took her phone out of her back pocket.

'What are you doing?'

'Texting Quinn so she doesn't freak out when she sees us.' Santana smiled and began texting. 'Are you okay B?'

'I'm fine, I just don't like seeing you hurt San.'

'I know.' Santana smiled and hit send on the message; _We're coming back and I need you to not freak out. Ran into Casey, enough said. We're okay. Love you. S xx_


	99. Chapter 99

**Where Are We Supposed To Go?**

Quinn felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She took it out and read the text, everyone seeing the colour drain from her face. 'What is it Quinn?' Mercedes asked.

'It's from Santana. They ran into Casey.'

'What! Are they okay?' Kurt asked frantically, putting his drink down on the table.

'She said they were, that they're on their way here. But she also said not to freak out.'

'Quinn, I think I see them.' Rachel pointed across the mall. Quinn stood up and watched them walk over, noticing Brittany's arm around Santana's waist. She waited patiently for them to make it over, the mark on Santana's cheek becoming more and more apparent as they neared.

'Santana…' Quinn whispered, pulling the smaller girl into her arms. Brittany moved to sit between Rachel and Tina whilst they finished their embrace. Quinn pulled away and cupped Santana's bruised cheek, stroking it gently.

'Hey Q.' Santana said back, both girls sitting down, Santana partially on Quinn's lap.

'What happened?' Kurt asked.

'Oh you know, same old.' Santana smiled. 'Casey wants to make our lives a living hell.' They went on to explain everything in detail and then they came to the final part.

'So Santana ducked just as Casey was about to punch her and made her punch the wall instead.' Brittany said proudly and with a slight giggle.

'No way, I bet that pissed her off.' Tina smiled.

'It sure did. Brit got away from Karofski and we just ran.' Santana said. Quinn was clasping onto Santana's hands in an effort to stop the shaking. There was a moment of silence before Brittany spoke again;

'I'm sorry.' She said.

'Why are you sorry B?' Santana asked, kicking the blonde's foot gently with her own.

'Because I promised Quinn I would look after you.'

'You did look after me.' Santana smiled.

'Yeah, look at your face Santana, how is that protecting you?' Brittany was upset, almost crying, as Tina rubbed her back in support.

'I know you don't like violence B, I wouldn't want you to have to use it for any reason. Besides, you did call her a bitch.' Santana smiled which made Brittany do the same.

'Santana, Quinn, I know you probably don't want to hear this…' Kurt looked at them. 'But it think you should go to the police.' Quinn felt Santana tense in her lap and responded for her.

'We are definitely going to think about it Kurt.' She smiled. 'I was actually wondering if we could cut this short, considering what has happened. I'd like to take Santana home.'

'Of course, go look after your girl.' Mercedes winked causing Quinn to blush. 'I can drop your things to Santana's later.'

'Are you sure Mercedes?' Quinn asked, getting a confident nod back from the diva. 'Okay, we'll see you guys soon then, at school on Monday.'

'Definitely.' Rachel said. They both got up to leave but before they went anywhere Santana walked behind Brittany, lent down and kissed her on the head before whispering;

'Thank you.' With that, she took Quinn's hand and they left the mall.

-x-

They were sitting in Santana's living room watching the television. Quinn kept glancing at the brunette who she knew had no interest in the program but was watching it intensely. Quinn couldn't take it anymore. She stood up and switched off the tele, looking down at Santana. 'We need to talk.'

'I know.' Santana said. She sat up and crossed her legs on the chair as Quinn sat back down.

'What are we going to do about Casey?' Quinn asked as she watched Santana play with the cushion in front of her. 'Do you want to go to the police?'

'I'm not sure. We probably should, right?'

'That's up to you Santana.'

'I don't know Q, but today, confronting her, I felt a little bit stronger.' Quinn looked at her a smile creeping onto her face. 'Don't get me wrong, I was still petrified, but I managed a few syllables and I didn't freak out too much.'

'And you dodged a punch.' Quinn reminded her.

'I did.' Santana nodded. 'So maybe we should wait for a bit. See what happens.'

'Okay, if you want. But if she hurts you again you won't be able to stop me going to the cops.'

'Deal.' Santana smiled. 'But I have been thinking about something we could do after we graduate.'

'Yeah? What's that?' Quinn asked, snuggling closer to Santana.

'Maybe we get an apartment in New York. I know Rachel and Kurt will be there, possibly Finn, so we could still be around friends. We can maybe apply to colleges there?' Santana looked at the unsure expression on Quinn's face. 'But that's okay a suggestion, if you don't like it we can think of something else.'

'No, it's not that. It's a great idea.' Quinn said, shuffling in her seat.

'But….' Santana prompted.

'But I have had my heart on going to Yale since I was a little girl.' Santana nodded, reaching over to take Quinn's hand.

'Okay then. Apply to Yale.' Quinn looked up at her, a shocked expression on her face.

'What?'

'Of course you can apply for your dream school Q.' Santana smiled, picking up Quinn's hand and kissing it.

'But what about you?' She asked. Santana simply shrugged and said;

'Well, why don't we wait and see if you get accepted. I can work around you. If you get in, you'll have a roommate for life, and if you don't we can talk more about New York.' Santana smiled, Quinn grinning back at her.

'A roommate for life huh.' Quinn lent in and kissed Santana on the lips. 'But I don't want you to put your dreams on hold for me Santana. There must be something you want to do after school's over.'

'What I want is to get better, get over my crap. And I can only do that with you. So I go where you go babe, that's all there is too it.'

'You're amazing, you know that right?'

'I have my moments.' Santana smiled. 'And also, if you go to Yale and become a big hot shot lawyer, I won't need to go to college. I could be your trophy wife.' Quinn giggled but was hung up on one word;

'Wife?' She said, Santana blushing and looking down. 'You want to marry me?'

'Well, yeah. Is that okay?' Santana asked, looking into Quinn's smiling eyes.

'It's more than okay San. Come here.' Quinn pulled Santana over until they were lying down on the sofa facing each other. 'I love you and want to marry you. As soon as we possibly can I want to marry you.'

'Good.' Santana smiled. 'I love you too.' Just then there was a knock on the door.

'That's probably Mercedes with our stuff. I'll go.' Quinn said, kissing Santana on the lips before bouncing up and heading to the door. She opened it with a wide smile, about to greet her friend, when her face turned to a frown. 'Mrs Lopez….'

'Hello Quinn.' The woman said, barging through the door and into the house. 'Where is my daughter?' Santana had heard her mother's voice and was by the door to the living room.

'Mum, what are you doing? Why didn't you use your key?'

'I didn't want to walk in on something inappropriate. And by the looks of the couch I can see that's exactly what I would have done.'

'Mum…'

'No, listen to me Santana.' She took a step towards her daughter. 'I've made up my mind.'

'What? About what?' Santana asked.

'About you and your, friend.' She turned and glared at Quinn then looked back to Santana. 'You both need to leave.'

'What?' Quinn shouted, stepping around to stand between Santana and her mother. 'You said we had until she was eighteen.'

'And now I'm saying you don't.' She looked past Quinn to Santana. 'I want you gone by Monday morning.'

'Mum, where are we supposed to go?' Santana asked.

'I don't know Santana, and frankly, I don't care. I don't want to see you again.' She spat, turning and leaving the room. Quinn was raging inside but held it in as she looked at her girlfriend.

'Santana.' She said gently, walking over to her. She could see her body shaking. 'Shit, okay come on.' She took Santana by the arm and let her up to her bedroom. 'Sit down and try to relax, I need to make a call okay?' Santana managed to look up and nod. Quinn left the room and dialled Mercedes.

'Hey girl, how's Santana?' Mercedes answered.

'She was okay, until her mother came home.'

'Oh no, what happened?' Mercedes asked, concern seeping through the tone of her voice.

'Well, we kind of just got thrown out.'

'Quinn, say no more okay, just get as much stuff as you need packed and I'll be there to get you in an hour.'

'Mercedes you don't have to…'

'Yes I do. You're my girls and I've got you. You can stay with me until you figure something out.'

'Thank you so much Mercedes.' Quinn said letting out a sigh.

'Don't worry about it. And Quinn…'

'Yeah?'

'You don't have to be the strong one all the time. Santana knows that you're allowed to break down too, if you need to.'

'I know.' Quinn smiled. 'Thanks again.'

'See you soon Quinn.' As soon as the phone went dead Quinn went back into the bedroom and saw Santana. She had curled up on the bed and was crying. Quinn got onto the bed beside her and put an arm around her.

'It's okay San, everything is going to be okay.' Quinn kissed her shoulder and started to stroke her hair. 'I promise it will be okay.'


	100. Chapter 100

**This Day Has Been Shitty**

They had been picked up by Mercedes an hour later, just like she said, and went to her house. Everyone was still there because they decided to hang out after the mall. Mercedes had assured them that her parents had said they could stay for as long as they needed, and then they had been shown into one of the guest rooms. Quinn settled Santana into the room and let her try and sleep whilst she went downstairs with the others.

'So her mum just, kicked you out?' Rachel asked sadly. Quinn nodded, holding on to the mug of coffee in her hand tightly.

'She came home, kicked us out, and left again. Like she didn't care that she was destroying her only child.'

'But your dad did the same thing Q, didn't he?' Tina asked.

'Kind of, but he has my sister. And he thinks I'm going to come to my senses and come home. Santana's mother didn't even give her the option. She doesn't want her back.'

'That's so wrong.' Kurt said bitterly, knowing what they must be going through.

'Mercedes….' Quinn looked at her.

'Yeah girl?'

'You know you said I don't always have to be the strong one?' Mercedes nodded. 'Well, I think I may need to have that breakdown now.'

'Of course Quinn, we're all here to listen. Tell us how you feel.' Quinn looked around the room at all of the supportive faces and then the tears came.

'Honestly. I feel sick.' Quinn admitted. 'Sick to death of everyone trying to tell us how wrong we are, and how broken we are. I want them to leave us alone, or I want five minutes alone in a room with Casey and some brass knuckles.' There were some laughs, even Quinn cracked a smile.

'I second that.' Brittany agreed.

'But more than anything I want Santana not to hurt anymore. She is in so much pain, ninety-five percent of the time, and I feel so useless.'

'You know you aren't though Quinn, you're anything but.' Tina reminded her.

'I know, Santana says that too.'

'Have you thought about what you're going to do next?' Rachel asked.

'Well, before Mrs Lopez came back we we're talking about schools. Santana wants me to apply to Yale but I'm not sure.'

'Why not?' Kurt asked. 'You've always wanted to go to Yale.'

'I know but now I'm thinking I need to get a job. We're going to need an income if we're going to be on our own and living a life together. Especially if we get married and…..'

'Hang on, back up.' Kurt sat forwards. 'Married?' They watched the small smile appear on Quinn's face.

'Yeah, Santana said she wanted to marry me.'

'Oh my God that's awesome!' Kurt yelled, clapping his hands.

'Calm down, we literally just talked about it.' Quinn said and then a voice came from the doorway;

'But we'll stop talking about it if Quinn ditches Yale for me.' They all turned to see Santana standing in the doorway. Her bruise had properly formed and the cut was prominent, her hair messy and they could tell she'd been crying recently.

'Do you want a coffee Santana?' Rachel asked.

'That would be great Rachel, thanks.' Santana smiled and then sat down next to Quinn.

'You heard what we were talking about?' Quinn asked her.

'A bit of it.' Santana confirmed. She used her hand to gently wipe away the tear stains on Quinn's cheeks. 'Please don't cry because of me Q. And there's no way you're not going to Yale.' Santana kissed her on the lips.

'It's not because of you San, it's because of everyone else. But if I don't get a job what are we going to do for money?'

'For your wedding!' Kurt giggled.

'Kurt! If I say you can be my maid of honour will you stop taking?' Quinn saw Kurt's face and laughed. He stared at her with wide eyes and zipped his mouth closed and threw away the key. 'Great.'

'We could get a place by Yale, you can go to school and I'll get a job. At least I'd have a purpose then right?' Quinn took one of Santana's slightly trembling hands.

'San…'

'Nope, we're not talking about this anymore today. This day has been shitty and I want to do something fun.'

'Okay then.' Quinn smiled, kissing her on the nose. 'What do you want to do?'

'I have no idea actually.' Santana laughed.

'We could watch some movies, eat some junk food?' Mercedes suggested.

'I actually have to be going.' Rachel said, standing up. Tina and Brittany followed shortly after.

'Us too, family stuff tonight.' Tina said.

'That cool guys, we'll see you Monday.' Mercedes walked them to the door and then it was just her, the girls and Kurt. 'So, what are we in the mood for?'

'Something funny.' Santana said.

'And romantic.' Quinn added.

'Oh, something with a wedding!' Kurt grinned and Santana threw a pillow at him.

'I 've got it.' Mercedes said, 'Wedding crashers!'

'Perfect! That has lots of weddings!' Kurt said. Quinn and Santana laughed as they cuddled down onto the couch. Mercedes put the dvd in and went to get snacks. Quinn let out a long breath as the movie started. She pulled Santana into herself and felt her fall asleep. She didn't stir for the rest of the movie and she and Quinn sat there long after everyone else had gone. Finally Quinn felt herself dozing off. She lowered herself gently so not to wake her girlfriend and then drifted off into her dreams.


	101. Chapter 101

**Please Do Not Tell Me You Helped Her Sneak Out Of The House**

A few days later Santana and Quinn were relaxing in the den of Mercedes house when Santana had an idea. She pushed herself up from the position she was lying in and looked at her girlfriend. Quinn was leaning at the end of the couch reading a book, Santana smiling at the level of concentration on her face. 'Hey Q?' Santana said, crossing her legs in front of her.

'Yeah San.' The blonde said, closing her book and facing Santana.

'I was thinking.' Santana paused. 'We can't stay with Mercedes forever, so why don't we get an apartment of our own?' Quinn smiled.

'And how do you propose we do that S? We have no money remember.'

'Well, I remembered that I haven't checked my bank in forever. Maybe my parents haven't cleaned it out yet.'

'Okay, and what if they have? My dad cleaned out mine the second he found out I was gay.' Quinn took Santana's hand. 'It's a lovely idea Santana. It's just not a realistic one at the moment.' Santana looked down and sighed. She smiled at Quinn before leaning in and kissing her on the lips.

'I guess you're right.' Santana said before standing up.

'Where are you going?' Quinn asked, worried that she'd hurt her girlfriend's feelings.

'I'm going to go and talk to B. See how she is. Carry on reading, I'll be back.' Santana assured her.

'Okay.' Quinn replied as she watched Santana leave the room. She stared at the empty doorway for a moment before returning to her text.

-x—

'Hey Brit, it's me.' Santana spoke quietly into the phone.

'Hey San, what's up? Are you guys okay?' Brittany replied cheerfully from the other end of the phone.

'Not really B, can you come and get me and then I'll explain.' Santana asked.

'Okay, sure. Do you and Quinn want to go out somewhere?'

'No Brit, just me.' Santana corrected.

'But you do everything with Quinn.' Brittany said, confused at her friend's request.

'This is just something I need to do Brit, on my own. I have to check something.'

'Alright, but I don't like lying to Quinn.'

'I'm not lying to her; I said I was going to talk to you. She just assumes it's over the phone. Now come on Brit, we need to be back before she notices.'

Santana hung up the phone and then started putting her shoes on. She felt bad about going out without telling Quinn but she needed to check her bank and see if she would be able to help them get out of Mercedes house. She left the room and found Mercedes in hers. She knocked on the door and caught her friend's attention. 'What's up Santana?'

'I was wondering….' Santana went over and sat opposite Mercedes on her bed. 'If you could detain Quinn for a little while.'

'Why do you need me to do that? Is something wrong?'

'No, nothing's wrong. I just need to check something before telling Quinn. I don't want to get her hopes up about this.'

'Well, I guess.' Mercedes looked unsure. 'What shall I do?'

'I don't know, anything. Just keep her downstairs and keep telling her I'm taking a nap or something.'

'Okay Santana. You better be sure about this.'

'I am.' Santana smiled and they both left the room. Mercedes went into the den and made conversation with Quinn so that Santana could sneak out the front door.

-x—

Santana and Brittany pulled up in front of the bank about ten minutes later. 'Are you sure about this San? Quinn could have come with us.'

'I'm sure Brit. I just need to check my bank and then we can get out of here.'

'Okay.' Brittany said. She started driving the car around the back of the bank and found a place in the car park. They got out of the car and went into the bank. There were a few people queuing to go to the counters and one person using a cash machine.

'Come on B.' Santana took her hand and led her over to a free cash machine before pulling her bank card out of her pocket.

'San, where did you get that? Didn't your parents take all your cards away?' Brittany asked as Santana put her card into the machine.

'Dad left a while ago so didn't get the chance, and I'm not sure mum realises I still have one on me.' Santana grinned. 'I just need to get all of the money out before she catches on.' Santana put in her pin number and waited for the amount to flash up on the screen. She smiled as the number appeared; $3,456.20.

'Wow, Santana.' Brittany grinned at her.

'I know.' Santana pressed another button and withdrew all except the change. She rolled up the money and put it in her pockets. 'Now let's get out of here.'

-x—

'I think I should go and check on Santana.' Quinn said, moving forwards in her seat. She and Mercedes had started watching a movie and having a chat about everything. Mercedes was gossiping about some new drama, apparently Tina and Mike we're having a fight about colleges, Tina not wanting Mike to go too far.

'No, she's fine Quinn. Let her sleep.' Mercedes protested, putting a hand on her shoulder. Quinn looked at her.

'I just want to look in on her Mercedes.' Mercedes looked awkwardly at the door. 'Mercedes, please do not tell me you helped her sneak out of the house.'

'She said she wouldn't be long.' Mercedes defended. Quinn stood up quickly. 'Where did she go?'

'She didn't tell me Quinn, she said she needed to check something before she told you.' Just then, they heard footsteps. Quinn raced out of the room and saw Santana and Brittany trying to sneak up the stairs.

'Santana!' She yelled. Both girls stopped in their tracks and turned to see Quinn with her arms folded and Mercedes standing behind her. She mouthed an apology.

'Busted.' Brittany said and Santana turned to smile at her. She walked towards Quinn.

'Let me explain before you yell at me okay?' Santana raised her hands and put them on Quinn's shoulders.

'Okay. Explain.' Quinn said, less than pleased. Santana pulled the money out of her pocket and showed it to Quinn. 'I went to empty my account. I wanted to make sure there was money in there to take out before I told you.'

'Santana. I would have come with you. What if…. What if you ran into trouble?'

'We didn't, and Brit was there, she would have protected me.' Santana grinned, Brittany winking at her.

'Ugh, why can't I stay annoyed with you two?' Quinn smiled.

'Because we're so very adorable?' Santana suggested kissing Quinn on the cheek.

'Yes you are.' She laughed. 'But tell me next time. Please.'

'I will, I'm sorry.' Santana said, pulling Quinn into a hug.

'Great, now that that's sorted.' Mercedes said, walking around to the front of the group. 'Who is in the mood for Chinese? I know I am.'

'Me too!' Brittany beamed, taking Mercedes by the arm and leading her into the kitchen.


	102. Chapter 102

**Where I Go, She Goes**

They were sitting on the bed in the guest room of Mercedes house that evening, a pile of money in front of them. Santana was leaning against the headboard whilst Quinn was lying across her legs. She was counting the money and putting it into piles. 'I think we should give a bit of this to Mercedes parents, for letting us stay.' Santana suggested.

'Sure, it's your money Santana so the final call is yours.' Quinn rolled over and looked up at her.

'It's our money Quinn. We can make these decisions as a couple.'

'Okay, but what do you want to do with it?' Quinn asked. 'There isn't enough to sustain an apartment for long unless we get jobs.'

'Why don't we put it in savings until we know if you're going to Yale or not?' Santana thought. 'We can give some of it to Mercedes parents for the time we stay here and then we'll have the rest for when we leave.'

'That sounds like a good idea San.' Quinn sat up and kissed her. She studied Santana's face for a moment before changing the subject. 'So, how are your nightmares?'

'What do you mean?' Santana asked, taking her hand.

'I know you still have them Santana. You roll around in your sleep, and I feel you get up occasionally.'

'I just don't want to wake you.' Santana admitted. 'They're not that bad now. I rarely get stuck in them anymore which is why I just get up.'

'You know you can wake me if you need to talk.'

'I know. But I don't see the point. It should be over soon.' Santana saw the sceptical look on Quinn's face. 'I'm fine. I promise.' Santana smiled as Quinn reached up a hand to stroke what was left of the small cut made by Casey at the mall.

'What about Casey?'

'What about her?' Santana asked.

'Nothing's happened in a few days, are you worried?'

'Not really. I mean, I think I could take her if it came down to it.' Santana grinned as Quinn smacked her playfully.

'Santana!' Quinn laughed.

'I'm kidding Q, she'd probably win. I mean she's a few inches taller and has some extra padding, if you know what I mean.' Santana patted her stomach which only made Quinn laugh more. The door to the room opened moments later, Mercedes peeking her head into the room.

'Hey Mercedes, come on in.' Quinn said, still laughing.

'What's so funny?' Mercedes asked, sitting on the end of the bed.

'Oh nothing, Santana was being a bitch.' Quinn smiled, Santana grinning back at her.

'Alright then, good to know.' Mercedes smiled before continuing. 'So I just got a text from Rachel, it seems she's organising a glee cinema outing tonight. Do you ladies want to join us?'

'Depends on the movie.' Santana said. 'Because I cannot sit through two hours of an enhanced version of The Sound Of Music.'

'Don't worry, it's a new film, and not a musical. I think it's a romantic comedy with Johnny Depp.' Mercedes said.

'Count me in!' Quinn said quickly after, jumping up from the bed.

'Easy Q, Johnny's here all week.' Santana said sarcastically.

'I love Johnny Depp, what can I say.' Quinn shrugged. 'Now get your shoes on.' Santana laughed, rolling off of the bed and getting ready.

-x—

The cinema was at the back of the mall, and you had to walk through the mall to get in. Mercedes drove and parked in the mall car park, which is where they had all agreed to meet. As they pulled in they spotted Brittany's car first, Rachel and Finn talking to her as they stood around it. Most of them we're already here. They parked, got out of the car and walked over to the group. Brittany hugged Santana. 'We're just waiting for Puck.' Finn informed them. 'Emergency pool cleaning job, or something like that.'

'Right.' Quinn nodded, looking towards the mall. She was watching the last of the crowd thinning out when she saw a familiar face, and he was heading in their direction. She turned back to the group who were all joking and smiling. 'Hey guys.' She said, getting all of their attentions. 'Can we wait for Puck inside?'

'Why? He should be here soon.' Sam said.

'I know, I'd just rather wait inside.' Quinn said, smiling nervously. Santana took her hand.

'What's wrong Q?' Quinn turned to look at her.

'My dad is coming out of the mall.' Santana took in a breath and looked over Quinn's shoulder. Sure enough, Russell Fabray was coming in their direction.

'I agree with Q.' Santana said, turning back to everyone. 'We should go inside.'

'Okay, I guess I can let Puck know.' Finn said, pulling out his phone to text him. They began to walk away when a booming voice came from behind them.

'Lucy!' He shouted. Quinn froze and tensed in Santana's hold. She turned around and her father was walking towards her. Everyone was silent as they watched the man coming. At least they were all in a group, Quinn didn't think he'd try anything with everyone here.

'Dad.' Quinn said coldly once he was standing in front of them. Santana was behind her, holding on to Quinn's arm.

'How have you been Quinn?' He asked, almost politely.

'Just peachy.' Quinn replied sarcastically. 'You?'

'I've been doing a lot of thinking.'

'Yeah, about what?' Quinn asked.

'About you.' He looked at her and then behind to Santana. 'And you're situation.' Quinn felt Santana pulling her further into her body. 'I went to your house Santana. Seems as though you're not their favourite person at the moment.'

'I'd say that was an understatement, wouldn't you Mr Fabray?' Santana replied, as civilly as she could. He smiled and nodded.

'Look Dad, we're going to a movie, what do you want?' Quinn was getting frustrated, she knew he had an aim and she just wanted him to get to the point.

'I understand you're in a predicament and I'd like to help.' Santana snorted from behind Quinn and a lot of worried look were being passed around the glee clubbers.

'And how are you going to do that?' Quinn asked.

'By letting you come home.' Russell stated.

'You're going to let me come home, just like that. And what about Santana? Because where I go, she goes.' Quinn stated firmly.

'Not Santana Quinn, just you. You can come home and we can get you some help for your problem.'

'What problem?' Quinn shouted stepping away from Santana slightly but she didn't let her father answer. 'No, you know what. I'm sick of this. You knew when you came over here that this wasn't going to work so why did you even bother?'

'I thought you might have come to your senses by now Quinn. I have to say I'm disappointed.' Russell shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest.

'Yeah well, that makes two of us dad.' She turned back to Santana. 'Come on.' She took her hand and led her away through the sea of glee clubbers until they all followed. Russell was left standing on his own.


	103. Chapter 103

**Don't Get Mad Okay?**

The ride home from the cinema was quiet. Quinn sat in the front seat next to Mercedes whilst Santana rode in the back. The movie was good but Quinn was too distracted to notice. She didn't let go of Santana's hand the entire time and couldn't help think about her father. She didn't even notice when they parked on Mercedes driveway and the car stopped. 'Quinn, we're here.' Mercedes said gently. She turned to look at Santana in the back who nodded and smiled as Mercedes left the vehicle. Santana climbed from the back into the driver's seat and sat sideways facing Quinn.

'Do you want to talk about it Quinn?' She asked, brushing some blond hair from the left side of Quinn's face.

'What is there to talk about?'

'Well, have you thought about what he said? About going home.' Quinn turned to look at Santana accusingly, the brunette putting her hands on her lap.

'No. And why would i?' Quinn said strongly.

'Because he's your dad. He's your family.' Santana shifted in your seat. 'I'd understand if you wanted to go home. You could sleep in your own bed, be around familiar things.' Quinn turned in her seat and took Santana's hands in her own.

'Do you want me to go Santana? Is that what you're saying?' Quinn asked, Santana noticing the tears in her eyes.

'No, God no Q.' Santana kissed her hands. 'I just want to know what you want. I want you to be able to talk to me without thinking I'm going to break.' Santana smiled. 'You need someone to lean on too Q.'

'I know, and I want to talk to you. But honestly, there's nothing to talk about.' Quinn smiled, assuring her. 'I want to be here with you. I don't need him if it means I can't have you. You are my family.' Quinn lent in and kissed her. 'As long as I have you and the glee club, that's the only family I need.'

'Okay.' Santana smiled. 'Come on, I think it's time to go to sleep.'

'Yeah, I agree.' Quinn said. They both got out of the car and walked into the house. They passed Mercedes on the stairs.

'Everything okay?' She asked.

'Everything's fine.' Quinn assured her, taking Santana by the hand and pulling her up the stairs. 'We'll see you in the morning Mercedes.' She grinned.

'Okay.' Mercedes called after them.

-x-

Santana awoke with cold sweat dripping down her face. She looked around the dark room and noticed that the clock read 02:33. She sighed and ran her hands through her hair, exhaling quietly. She looked down at Quinn who was sleeping peacefully and smiled, kissing her gently on the forehead so not to wake her up before leaving the room and closing the door behind her as she entered the bathroom. She ran the cold water tap and splashed some on her face, staring at her reflection in the mirror. 'A few more days Santana, you can last a few more days.' She whispered to herself. She turned off the tap and sat on the toilet seat, leaning her head in her hands. She took a few deep breaths and then a sob escaped her throat. She cried silently for a minute before composing herself and looking back into the mirror. Her face was tired and her body narrow. It was only now she was thinking about what everyone else must see when they look at her. She felt a sudden wave of nausea wash over her before kneeling quickly in front of the toilet. This was the first time she's been sick since nationals. She was still kneeling when she heard the door creek open behind her. 'Santana.' Quinn whispered, but all Santana could do to reply was to continue throwing up. 'Oh San.' Quinn said, kneeling behind her and rubbing her back. 'Let it out, it's okay.' A few moments later Santana sat back on her heels and looked at Quinn.

'Thanks Q.' She whispered.

'No problem.' Quinn smiled. 'How long have you been in here? I woke up and you we're gone.'

'Only about ten minutes. I had a nightmare.' Santana admitted. Quinn pulled her into a hug and stroked her hair.

'What was it about?' She asked. Santana looked up at her before she spoke.

'Can we not do this in the bathroom?' Santana asked, Quinn smiling before nodding and helping her up.

'So, what was the nightmare about?' Quinn asked once more as she looked at Santana leaning against the headboard of the bed.

'Don't get mad okay.' Santana said quietly. Quinn laughed and moved closer to her girlfriend.

'Why would I be mad?' She asked.

'Just, promise you won't.'

'Okay, I promise Santana.' Quinn nodded and allowed Santana to continue, not interrupting until she heard the entire thing.

'I dreamt that you went back to your dads. He had convinced you that I was some poison, making you feel things you don't feel. Then you became just like Casey and started to hurt me, saying I was a freak and a loser.' Santana sniffed, wiping her eyes with her sleeves. 'And no one helped me, not the guys from glee, not Mr Schue, not anyone. Then I woke up.' She looked into Quinn's eyes.

'Santana listen to me.' Quinn said. 'It was just your mind playing on what happened yesterday. It is not going to happen, okay.'

'Yeah, I know that Q. I just can't help what I dream about and it makes me freak out.' Santana smiled and laughed, trying to shake it off.

'Okay. Do you want to try and go back to sleep? We have about four hours until we have to get up for school.'

'That sounds like a good idea.' Santana smiled as she slipped under the duvet. Quinn followed and soon they were holding one another and drifting back off.


	104. Chapter 104

**How Is That possible?**

They walked into the choir room the next morning and found Mr Schue sitting at the piano going through some sheet music. They put their bags down before walking over to them as he looked up. 'Hey girls, how are you?' He asked, stopping what he was doing.

'We're doing okay Mr Schue, a bit better now that we're living with Mercedes and her family.' Quinn informed him.

'I heard about that, I'm really sorry for everything you've been through lately.' He stood up and put a hand on each of their shoulders.

'Thanks Mr Schue,' Quinn said. 'But we're just going to focus on our future.'

'Speaking of which Mr Schue,' Santana interjected. 'Do you have any applications for Yale left?' Mr Schue smiled slightly as Quinn elbowed her gently in the ribs.

'I think Miss Pillsbury might have a few. Let me get one.' He smiled as he left the room. Quinn turned to Santana.

'What are you doing?' She grinned.

'Well, we don't have long to go and application deadlines are the end of this week.'

'You kept track of that?' Quinn asked.

'Of course, because I knew you wouldn't. Then you'd be able to say 'oops I forgot' and the deadline would have passed.' Santana kissed her on the cheek. 'You're not getting off that easy Q.'

'Thank you, Santana.' Quinn smiled.

'You're very welcome.' She grinned sitting on one of the choir room chairs as a few of the glee clubbers entered.

'You two are very smiley this morning.' Kurt pointed out as he and Blaine took their seats.

'Well, we are happy Kurt.' Quinn said, sitting next to Santana and putting an arm around her shoulder. Mr Schue came back into the room with a plastic folder in his hand. He gave it to Quinn who smiled at him.

'What's that Quinn?' Rachel asked, walking into the room with Finn.

'It's an application for Yale.' Quinn informed them. Rachel smiled and sat the other side of her, pulling her into a hug.

'I'm happy for you Quinn, you deserve it.' Rachel said, Santana nudging Quinn from her other side.

'I haven't gotten in yet, this is only to apply.' Quinn told them.

'You will get in, I know it.' Brittany said, bouncing across the room.

'Thanks guys.' Quinn smiled and then turned to Santana. 'And thank you.' She kissed her on the cheek as Mr Schue stood up to address the room.

'Okay guys, now, I know we don't have any competitions to prepare for but I still want to make the most of the time we have left together.' He went up to the whiteboard. 'Love, friendship and Goodbye. These are the things I want us focus on for the remaining weeks. Pick songs you want to dedicate to us as a group or to individuals. We're going to sing until the very last day, and we're going to do it together.' He smiled as they cheered and clapped. The bell rang for the start of the day but Mr Schue kept Santana and Quinn behind.

'What is it Mr Schue?' Santana asked when she saw the seriousness on his face.

'Principal Figgins has just informed me that everyone has just had their suspensions lifted.' Quinn felt Santana tense in her hold.

'How is that possible Mr Schue?' Quinn asked, Santana finding it hard to speak.

'Well, their parents went and pleaded with Figgins, saying that they worked out if their kids came back now they'd get enough credits to graduate, with regular classes and extracurricular classes.'

'They can't come back Mr Schue, they just can't.' Quinn said sadly.

'Unfortunately it's out of my hands girls, Figgins seems convinced that they've learnt their lesson.' He sighed. 'But if anything happens come straight to me, then we will go straight to the police and miss Figgins out completely. Okay?'

'Yeah, thanks for the heads up Mr Schue.' Quinn smiled and turned to Santana as their teacher walked away. 'It's going to be okay Santana. I promise.'

'Sure it will Q.' Santana put on a fake smile and took Quinn's hand. 'Let's go to class.'

-x-

'Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!' Rachel mumbled as she reached Quinn and Santana at the blonde's locker.

'Rachel, chill.' Santana looked at the flustered brunette.

'But, I saw…. They're…' Rachel panted.

'They're back, we know.' Quinn said, calming Rachel.

'You know, and you're not freaking out.' Rachel said, looking confused.

'What good would that do?' Quinn pointed out. 'We're going to ignore them. And Mr Schue said to go straight to him if anything happens.'

'Okay, so, you're okay?' Rachel asked.

'We're okay, for now anyway.' Santana advised, putting a comforting hand on the smaller girls shoulder.


	105. Chapter 105

**Over My Dead Body**

The day was going well, all things considered. They hadn't run into Casey or Karofski or any of the guys who got suspended. Quinn however, had noticed the nervousness in Santana's body language. She kept reassuring her than everything was going to be fine but it didn't seem to be resonating with the Latina. They walked through the cafeteria at the beginning of lunch, got their food and then looked around the room. They saw their table of glee clubbers and smiled, about to walk over, when their path was blocked by Casey and a few of the cheerleaders. 'You have got to be shitting me Casey.' Quinn said angrily. 'What do you want?' Casey stood with her arms folded and studied them, Santana standing behind Quinn.

'Just want to make sure you and your girl know that I'm back.' She grinned.

'We can see that.' Quinn said sarcastically. 'And I guess you feel all tough with your minions following you around again.'

'You bet I do. And they listen to me, and do what I tell them.' She stepped towards Quinn so that they were only inches apart. Quinn fought the urge to step away and instead stood tall in front of her girlfriend.

'Back off.' Quinn said forcefully, Santana holding onto her arm. The rest of the glee club had moved to stand behind Casey and the Cheerios.

'Is there a problem here?' Puck said, but Casey didn't turn to look at him.

'No, no problem.' She said, eyes on Santana. 'I just wanted to make sure Santana knew that we're going to finish what we started at the mall.' Santana's eyes narrowed on the girl who laughed.

'Over my dead body Casey.' Quinn said.

'Oh, that can be arranged Quinnie.' Casey winked at her and walked off, her band of Cheerios following her.

'Are you guys okay?' Mercedes said as Santana and Quinn walked over to them.

'We're fine. But you guys have to be on extra alert.' Quinn smiled as Brittany rubbed her shoulder. They sat down on a large round table and began to eat. Santana was being quiet as everyone started chatting about the songs they're going to sing in glee. 'Santana, you okay?' Quinn whispered as everyone carried on eating.

'I'm fine.' Santana said, getting a sceptical look from her girlfriend. 'Okay, I'm not fine.' Santana sighed. 'I don't know why I let her get to me.'

'I know.' Quinn said as Santana lent her head on the blonde's shoulder. 'Do you think we should tell Mr Schue?'

'Yeah I think we should. Maybe then he can talk to Figgins. I know Casey hasn't done anything yet but…'

'I know.' Santana said, taking a bite of her burger. Quinn smiled at the fact she was actually eating something.

-x-

She felt herself falling before she knew what was happening. The cold, hardness of the concrete took the wind from her as she hit it. She could hear people yelling, calling her name, swearing. She heard Quinn the loudest. 'Casey! What the fuck are you doing!' She screamed as Santana felt herself being lifted from the floor but strong arms. Once she was upright she was looking into the eyes of Karofski. 'Put her down!' Quinn yelled. 'Stop it please!' Santana felt her head snap to the side from a blow, blood trickling down from a cut on her eyebrow. She got her vision back after that. They were in the car park, they were going to Mercedes car to meet her there when they were ambushed, Quinn was being held back by two of the Cheerios.

'All right, enough.' She heard Casey say before she was released. She stumbled backwards and felt the wall behind her. She lent on it for support as Casey walked over to her.

'What…. What's up Casey? Want another kiss?' Santana grinned. 'How's your hand by the way? Punching a wall must sting like a bitch.'

'You won't be smiling for much longer Santana.' Casey stepped up so that she was leaning on the wall, one arm either side of Santana's face. She pulled back a fist and was about to strike when;

'What the hell is going on here!' They heard Mercedes shout. They turned to see her coming over, Finn, Puck, Sam and Mike with her. Casey stepped away from Santana. Puck turned to the Cheerios holding Quinn.

'Let her go.' He demanded but they looked to Casey before doing anything. She nodded casually and they released Quinn's arms. She immediately bolted over to Santana who was holding herself up via the wall.

'Santana, San are you okay? I'm so sorry.' She cried, tears falling down her cheeks.

'I'm okay, Q. I think.' Santana said, wiping some of the blood from her cheek.

'You need to get out of here, all of you.' Puck shouted, watching as they Cheerios started to leave. Casey stopped and looked to Santana and Quinn.

'This isn't over girls.' She spat before walking into the school. The glee kids all went over to Santana and Quinn.

'Are you guys okay?' Mercedes asked.

'No, Santana needs to go to the nurse. And then we're going to Mr Schue and the police.' Quinn said through her tears. Santana had a bruise on her cheek, a cut on her eye and her ribs were throbbing down her right side. Quinn looped an arm underneath her shoulder and took her weight, Mike helping from the other side.


End file.
